Turn 31"finish cleaning the moloko floors"
3"Is that all? You caused a great deal of harm, and we were hoping you would seek some sort of redemption."
St. Peter seems somewhat unimpressed by your answer.
"I don't know why people keep letting mutants escape, and where the hell are the cops their supposed to take care of this kind of crap."
Use my portal gun to teleport the mutants into the Moloko I'm sure they'll appreciate it, if that fails me and other me shall run back to my our house and wait for the mutants to ether wander off or get killed by the cops.
1, 4-1You try to leverage your portal gun, but a surprisingly fast mutant charges forward and bats the gun out of your hands. You and your other self turn to run to the house and you see your Z-wing flying off seemingly on its own as you make your escape. You reach the door first and wheel around to hold it for your companion. He runs toward you, but a mutant scrabbles up on the ground and bites his ankle. The other Bob stumbles and falls as the other mutants swarm up. He shouts out to you as the pack rapidly closes in.
"Leave me! When the Uber-Bob is born, this will all have been worth it!"He then turns and gets a good look at the ravenous teeth and claws rushing towards him.
"Wait, I just remembered, actually I'm essential! Rescue me!"Try to rescue mime from big snek by sending force of bats, and whatever creatures of night I can get under control .
3+1You use your vampire powers to send a large flock of bats to rescue Silence and his pet. They arrive just in time, as the snake corners Silence. The bats snatch him away from the snake's jaws and bring the mime to you. Your communicator dings, informing you that you've been promoted to First Mate. At the same time, Silence is promoted to Security Officer.
Silence: Waves a angry fist at the sky for choosing now to put logic into things!
Silence: Runs away!
1, but Sprinkled Chariot got a 4.One, send repairbots - with a small contingent of securitybots, just in case - to the location of the power outage for repairs.
Now. Silence is new Security Officer, because they seem to be effective at that sort of stuff, somehow.
Boris, I guess, will be First Mate.
And let's hire more general crew, and invest in some training programs.
Do I still have that amorphous pile of omni-money?
3, 3You take care of your ship. The repairbots go to the vault and repair the power, although the lights flicker a bit now. After promoting Silence and Boris in defiance of the request from the ruler of Hell, you recruit a large number of new crew members from Earth. These don't seem appreciably better than your robots or the old crew, but after some basic training they are in serviceable condition.
((Couldn't post because I kept getting 504s every time I tried to.))
Attempt to use the void milk in a ritual to merge the Eldritch plane and the Void plane with the Mortal plane in the Bazaar, allowing the Seven and other abominations from beyond space to invade this world through this specific location.
6+1You use the Void milk in a ritual that warps the local reality. The Bazaar is turned into a bizarre "bubble" that merges the features of the Void, Eldritch Plane, and the mortal universe. Creatures from any of the three universes can pass through freely here, and the Seven can potentially eat two universes for the price of one. You see Six in particular returns immediately, but he and the rest are currently engaged in a deadly battle with the native monsters of the Eldritch Plane. It pains you to admit it, but the Seven appear to be losing and their efforts to devour the worlds are delayed.
(I feel the denizens of the Eldritch plane should get a chance to fight off the goats. I think they’ll be better at it than we were.)
”Well, all world ending disasters temporarily avert- oh wait, Thainos.”
Use my conections to find the identity of the Infinity Dairies.
(I have access to everyone who has ever tried to find the infinity diaries, including Jeff Goldblum, not to mention whatever magical entities I know who may know where they are.)
2(Eldritch creatures vs The Seven)5 vs 1You try to find the Infinity Dairies, but the sheer quantity of souls you have access to and the amount of work your position requires prevents you from finding anyone who knows anything useful. You do note that the demons have finished repairs. The river Styx is now working as it should.
Elsewhere, the creatures of the Eldritch Plane attack the Seven. The Void is a subtle, crawling thing. It's the darkness behind your eyes, the shadow at the edge of the room, the monsters under the bed. It doesn't do as well against the screaming and tearing madness of the unleashed Eldritch Plane. The Eldritch Plane's inhabitants viciously attack the Seven. The Seven look to be losing the fight, but Nuhg provides them with a portal network that allows them to threaten the mortal world and potentially escape to their home dimension again.
I feel a disturbance somewhere, like something is eating away at existence, perhaps the Eldritch know what's going on...
Try to see if the Z wing can access the Eldritch Plains
4Normally, Alliance fighters wouldn't be capable of transuniversal flights. However, you're in luck. A portal to the Eldritch Plane has just opened in the Bazaar's sector of space. You zoom over in your twice-stolen Z-wing and dodge through an extended battle between what looks like a massive nautilus/crab thing and a giant goat-man. You fly through the bubbles and at one point you accidentally strike a large purple humanoid who was traveling through the Void.
In the end, you locate the correct portal and find yourself flying through the sickly yellow skies of the Eldritch Plane. Distant monsters undulate through the sky, and six other goat creatures are similarly fighting the monsters that dwell here.
"Finally.
Go to the Doom Mug, and get the next milk.
1You point the Glove behind you and use the blasts to propel yourself toward the Mug. At that moment, the nothingness around you explodes into light. Portals open up as the goat cultist connects the Void to both the material and Eldritch planes. A Z-wing fighter screams out from a portal to the Bazaar and knocks you off course as it does a U turn into the Eldritch Plane.
Right, here goes nothing. If this goes in any way according to plan, whatever Time Lord falls put should have their Tardis returned to them quite soon. No strings attatched! Except the bear traps, but they’re not really strings. Eh, they can probably regenerate if it kills ‘em.
Get the auxiliary controls of my own time machine. Get the Stattenheim remote control, and set it to bring the Tardis to a point directly above my Tardis, whereby the door will be facing downwards, towards the bear-trap filled Wildebeest-powered old Time Machine. Set it so the gravity inside the Tardis will lead to any inhabitants falling towards the door. From there, the second that the inhabitant(s) hit the Time Machine filled with bear traps, send it back to the start of time,reset the Tardis’s internal Gravity, get out of it, and dematerialise. I should have all the time in the world, then.
(Sorry for detailing my turns so much, if it gets to be too long, you have permission to verbally smack me)
The Bear Traps might have been overkill, but eh, what’re ye going to do.
6You launch your plan. You plan out the time machine links and hold the TARDIS controls in one hand and your own auxiliary controls in the other. The plan seems to go perfectly. The TARDIS appears in midair, resembling one of the Moloko's doors. The Time Lord falls out, revealing a stern looking woman with dark hair in a ponytail and formal clothing. She glares at you as she falls into your trap and you hit the controls. She and your time machine vanish. Without a moment to lose, you dive into her TARDIS and slam the door behind you. The TARDIS starts to silently dematerialize, but that feels somehow unsatisfying. You hit the brakes and the proper whoosing noise accompanies your departure.
The TARDIS is bigger on the inside, and you approach the controls. However, a crash sounds out as your time machine suddenly appears in the room. The Time Lord is walking with a cane now, but your bear traps are gone. "Really now, dear." she says, "You tried to trap a Time Lord in, of all places, a working time machine. What did you expect would happen?" She stares you down furiously, pointing a sonic screwdriver with her free hand. "I do have to admit though, the wildebeest engine was clever. Impressive work, for a human."
Take off this sector and to the Earth's orbit, already. GiantDad never imagined himself as a leader, so I hope that those pencil-pushers in The Alliance give me something to do.
Oh, and report all what has happened in the sector and on the ship to The Alliance's High Command, I guess.
5You start to give the order, but then realize that the ship is already at Earth due to Delta's earlier decision to go there. You enter Earth's orbit as you report to Alliance High Command. They receive your report, and react with a great deal of alarm and confusion at the events you describe.
"To be honest, Captain GiantDad, in any other situation the Moloko would have been immediately decommissioned and its crew brought in for serious psychological evaluation. As it stands, the situation is simply too dire for that. Your ship will remain in service, as you and your crew are the only ones with any experience in a situation like this. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to lead the Moloko in an effort to find a way to permanently neutralize the two ongoing threats to universal security. Firstly, Nuhg and the Seven must be stopped by any means necessary. The other threat may also be an opportunity. The warlord Thainos is currently engaged in a campaign to gather the Infinity Dairies for unknown, but likely hostile purposes. He recently invaded and defeated the planet Independence by utilizing the Power Milk.
If Goldblum has fallen, Thainos has likely already identified the locations of the five remaining Dairies. However, his Unlimited Glove could be an enormous advantage to us, if you can capture it or make an alliance with him. For our part, the resources of the Alliance are available to you. Simply tell us whatever you think you need to resolve this crisis, and we'll do our best to provide it to you."
Unless prevented, the Seven will devour the Eldritch Plane and the normal universe in three turns.
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Topic: Minimalism and Milk 3 (Read 127600 times)