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Author Topic: Minimalism and Milk 3  (Read 126116 times)

Naturegirl1999

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 38
« Reply #585 on: June 28, 2019, 10:43:32 am »

Nor are you saving it by killing every half of all creatures capable of producing milk.
What are you talking about? I am trying to stop the Seven
I was talking about Imic and how he doesn' need to apologise since there's two genocidal night omnipotent maniac in the game.
Thank you for clarifying, I got confused
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Avetruetotheimperator

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 38
« Reply #586 on: June 28, 2019, 11:05:38 am »

Deploy to my new ship, and head to where Thainos was last sighted: "Earth"
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Imic

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 38
« Reply #587 on: June 28, 2019, 01:17:24 pm »

Oh, no, I was referring to the speech. Causing the universe to be devoured and/or ending the existence of most/all mammals therin is all well and good, but briefly inconveniencing people with a particularly long and nonsensical speech is unforgivable!

Since you never know, some mammal might be born not producing milk, and then it’s all right.
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Naturegirl1999

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 38
« Reply #588 on: June 28, 2019, 01:33:56 pm »

Oh, no, I was referring to the speech. Causing the universe to be devoured and/or ending the existence of most/all mammals therin is all well and good, but briefly inconveniencing people with a particularly long and nonsensical speech is unforgivable!

Since you never know, some mammal might be born not producing milk, and then it’s all right.
I actually asked for the speech, it might be an interesting read, plus it could put us in the guards head
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Enemy post

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 39
« Reply #589 on: June 29, 2019, 01:32:04 am »

Turn 39

"Damn it Burt I haven't got time for your anti-government shit right now!"
Wait for him to stop firing and do the secret hand signal that proves I not with the government that he taught me, if that fails just sneak into his house trough the sewer and unplug his weapons.

5

You stick out your hands and do the elaborate signals Burt taught you to convince him that you aren't a "government". The guns still and Burt allows you to leave cover. The barrels briefly spin back to life when Hooded Bob steps out behind you, but then he does the exact same hand signal and Burt stands down. The sound of innumerable locks click open from a tiny door as Burt invites you into the compound. He wears disheveled clothing, and one of his antlers is broken off at the middle. A glowing gun charged with sunlight is tucked into his belt.

Try do blood ritual to awaken Azatoth from his slumber, it will probably save us from seven, thanos and other bullshit . proficency in blood magic should help

1+1

You switch over to the blood magic you're more familiar with and attempt the ritual again. The maddening pipes still overcome your power, but at least your skill saves you from having it backfire.

"Come on Doc, we need to save the universe and make it perfectly balanced."


Good thing we have the Space Milk, portal time!


4+1

Oh yeah. You point the Glove ahead of the DeLorean and teleport it all the way across the country. That was easy. You even get lucky enough to appear in a tunnel, so you have time to shield yourself from the Sun as Doc drives. You pull into the correct street just in time to see someone appear in a time machine, run up to the door to drop off the milk, knock, and leave just as quickly.

now that the eldritch are asleep, cage One again, then when One is caged go after the next closest member of the Seven and cage them too. Repeat until all seven of the Seven are caged or until I fail at caging one of them
(The Seven aren't asleep, but One is still caged. You put his soul in a cage, it's just his empty body that's free.)
5

Still injured by the Eldritch creature's attacks, you dart over and attack Four. Once again, your supernatural blood allows you to overcome him and trap his soul. However, it takes more effort this time, and leaves you off guard when Nugh charges you and tears you apart with his seven jaws.

As Nuhg devours you, your consciousness transfers to a small piece of your overall mass and ejects, resetting you to your original state. At least you delayed the apocalypse again.

Tear Rana apart into chunks with my seven goat jaws, powered by my insatiable caprine hunger.

6-1 vs 5-1

Rana has demonstrated somewhat superior physical strength, but is already injured by your Eldritch ally and distracted by the effort of trapping Four. This leaves her easy prey. You swiftly float up behind her, open your many jaws, and tear her apart.

Try opening another portal this time to obtain either dream Milk or ghost Milk. I Just need milk to clean the floors any kind works.

6+1

You just need any sort of milk? That can be provided. You punch a hole to the Elemental Plane of Milk. The Milk sprays out at an unstoppable pace at the floor. The area affecting quickly gets clean, but then the metal floor starts to dent and warp under the pressure.

Try to figure out a way to use computer logic to disable magic abilities in a field around the Moloko.

3

Applying your quantum brain to the problem, you figure out how to reverse the polarity of the observation decks to create an antimagic field and test the result. It doesn't work as well as you'd hoped. It's clearly there, but it only interferes with magic that is physically in contact with a narrow forcefield wrapping around the ship. It could block spells coming in, but couldn't stop them from inside.

Okay, Primus should bugger off to his own, brand new ship.
Check all of the systems for damage, then try to find traces of Thainos again.


1, Auto-4 for Thainos' 6.

You try to check for damage, but in the process you accidentally click a popup ad. Before one of Delta's subroutines can contain the damage, it downloads a virus that adds advertising for Dcoan T're's mobile gaming industry to the Moloko's Gothic architecture and exterior hull.

Deciding that you can deal with the problem later, you attempt to find traces of Thainos. To your surprise, the computer returns a result in the form of old archive files. Someone from 2017 named Marty McFly put a great deal of effort into seeding time capsules that state a friend of his named "Doc Brown" was abducted by Thainos and begging people from the future to help. His story is collaborated by photographs of Thainos leaving in Brown's car with the doctor in tow.

Silence: Calls for help!

6

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Behin talking about my permit, but deliberately begin talking about something merging off-topic. String together the weirdest, most boring, and most random of the assorted facts, half-remembered stories, interesting details on the nature of the time continuum, why the molecular structure of milk coincidently means it’s one of the most powerful liquids in the universe under the right conditions, the social-economic history of the Soviet Union, and if he asks about anything, string off more random facts and stories that are connected to what he’s talking about Kindof sortof if you turn them upside down and immerse them in Champaign then they kinda make sense yeah until he goes away. Ask him why he’s leaving so soon without actually referring to the situation at hand, and then turn on the vacuum and get the hell out of dodge once everything’s up. But maybe do try and convince the Tardis to bacome something reasonable, like a sedan chair, or literally anything that’s not a blue police box. If it becomes an old Irish phone box, declare a compromise reached.
I want to hear the whole conversation in turn description. My conversations in real life frequently veer in odd directions without me trying. I can only imagine how confusing it would be if I tried to distract someone
I would like to formally apologise to the other players, the GM, and the Universe for what I have done.

6, 4, 2+1 Irish bonus*.

(*Cracks knuckles.*)
(**Looks down to see that knuckles are unfortunately not broken, and I actually have to write this thing.**)
(***Fine.***)

As the guard approaches you for your permit, you begin talking to keep him distracted.
"So, you need the permit. I'll get that for you right away, don't worry. Not sure where I put it though, hold on. I hope this doesn't take up too much of your time. You know, I'm actually a bit of an expert on time you know, a history buff of sorts. You know, I worked as a milkman once. Lost the job, stole some milk. May not seem related, but your whole world basically revolves around that. Timey-wimey ball. Like Angelo/Diablo. Angel-demon thing. You wouldn't know him. He fought ATHATH. Now ATHATH, he was a dangerous one. He tried to kill the Earth a few times. On that, you know we're not using the original Sun? It actually got changed out in the Middle Ages. Not where I'm from, but that's modernity for you. All this came from the milk delivery of course. Milk is in fact one of the most important things in the universe, when you really look into it! Think about it, mammals drink milk. Dinosaurs didn't, and you don't see any more of those, do you. 'Cept maybe birds. Of course, they've got pigeons, so maybe the pigeons grandfather the others in? Crop milk and all. Like I said, you're talking to a history expert. Any questions?

"Of course I know Angelo/Diablo and ATHATH. Come on, I took elementary history. They're a companion and enemy of the Grail, respectively. Every kid knows that. Anyway, I just wanted to see your papers."

"Oh yes, I was just getting to that. The papers. You know, the Warsaw Pact was a particularly important paper."

"I'm sorry sir, I might have dozed off that day. What's the Warsaw Pact?

"You don't know? Oh yeah, you wouldn't. The Grail and all. Anyway, so there was this Tsar, Romanov, Russian guy. He was, wait. First there was a German named Marx. Not Mark, Marx. He didn't like it when rich people, when people were poor? Wait, I've got a better idea. So there are these farm animals, see, so they all live in a farm. And the farmer, Farmer Jones, they obviously don't like getting eaten. So this big pig, he tells the others, they've got to stand up to Jones. So the animals, they all stand up to Farmer Jones one night. And they get rid of him, but the big pig is dead. Not from the fight, he was already dead. Not like a zombie, he died in between. ANYWAY. The animals, they all get together and decide to run the farm. And there are these two pigs in charge, Napoleon and Snowflake. They represent...oh right, you wouldn't know. All the pigs are in charge, but some of them are more in charge than others. So Snowflake and Napoleon..."

"Excuse me sir, is Napoleon named after someone?"

"Sure, short guy, actually tall, liked to keep his hand in his shirt and ride horses. Not at the same time, that'd be difficult. It's not important. There's also this grumpy donkey, he knows what's up. So the animals all decide to build a windmill for some reason. I forget why. The human farmers don't appreciate this disruption of course, so they all team up to attack the farm. There's a big fight, and the animals defeat the humans. But it's all for nothing, because the humans blow up the windmill anyway. It's very sad. Snowflake and Napoleon, they get into a final fight over who should be in charge, but Napoleon cheats by using the attack dogs he trained earlier to chase off Snowflake. Once he's gone, Napoleon takes charge and starts blaming all the problems on Snowflake. He also takes the loyal horse who obeyed the pigs all this time and sells him for glue when he gets hurt. The donkey tried to stop it, but he fails. Things take a turn for the worse. Napoleon and his pigs get more and more evil, and they get rid of the laws they painted on the barn, and eventually it's just "Some animals are more equal than others." The pigs start dealing with the human farmers, and they change the Animal Farm's name back to Manor Farm. The animals watch through the windows as the pigs are playing cards with the humans, and then the pigs turn into humans."

"I'm sorry, but I don't see how this answers my question regarding the Warsaw Pact. I'm guessing this is some sort of allegory?"

"Yeah, it's how you shouldn't do dictator stuff. All Orwell's books were about that, since he lived with Hitler and Stalin after all."

"Hitler and Stalin?"

"You don't wanna know."

"Wait, I think I remember Hitler. Yeah, isn't he famous as that guy who tried to start an empire in like, the 19th century or something. I mean, it's hard to forget the mental image of the guy getting eaten by three sharks at once, after all."

"Three sharks? That's...impressive. You remember what kind?"

"Great whites, right? To be honest, that's the only one I really know. My kid could name 'em all, but honestly all I know about sharks is what I learned in the old "Jaws" movie. You know, I still find it a bit odd that our constitution forbids any other shark movies for all time. Does that ever strike you as odd?"

"No."

"Huh."

"Yeah. To be honest, I haven't messed with-I mean, I haven't followed much of the politics in this empire, but I really stand by-support-that one. Support. You ever played support?"

"Support?"

"You know, clerics. Healers. Support classes, I hope you don't mind me getting on my soapbox, but support is really the heart of the team. The other members of the team, they always get the credit. Everybody likes to be the hero with the sword who slays the dragon, or the sneaky thief, or the wizard who throws around fireballs. You know where those guys would be without the support? Dead. In a ditch. How do you like that? Support gets no credit, cause they're standing in the back. It really isn't fair. Everyone, Everyone wants to be Batman, but where would he be without his support? No Commissioner Gordon? Nobody to tell him about the crimes. Batman's just running around Gotham, hoping to find crimes by pure chance. No Alfred? Then he's got no butler. Batman lives in an actual Batcave, of all places. Whose gonna clean all the guano off the Batmobile? Batman's just gonna be spending all his time doing chores, no time for fighting clowns. On that, no Robin? He's got nobody in a colorful red suit, nobody to draw fire. Batman's gonna have to dodge all those bullets himself, and that's gotta be way harder than finding new orphans."

"Batman?"

"You don't know who-"

"Just messing with you, sir. Course I know who Batman is. Anyway, your papers, please."

"Oh, right. You know what DC actually stands for? "Detective Comics". So it's actually "Detective Comics Comics." That's always fun to know."

"Papers, sir."

"Right then, here you go."

You hand the guard a wad of papers from your pocket, which he quickly skims over.

"This is a menu for a pub-wait, where'd you go?" he says to an empty room.

While the guard was distracted, you've long since vacuumed up the bones of the original Seven goats. As he glances over the note, you flee back into your TARDIS and dematerialize. You also adjust your TARDIS to use a better disguise. In the process, you accidentally lock it in the form of an Irish phone box.

(OOC:*It goes against my instincts as a GM to give you an arbitrary bonus like that, but I looked up a picture of one of those phone boxes and felt that you riding around in a TARDIS version of those was too fitting to let fail. Also, I hope you and Naturegirl enjoyed the speech. I had fun with it, and it was useful practice for writing dialogue. Probably gonna rip Shaun's legs off if I ever have to do it again, though.)

Ok, try to wake up Angelo and Diablo.

I have no idea why I’m suddenly so bad at getting actions in.

1

You attempt to reawaken Angelo and Diablo, but are unable to do so yet. As you sit on the throne and try to wake them up, Satan returns with a contingent of demons.

"Thank you, Diablo. You have served me well by restoring my kingdom. I will be taking back control now, so please, get off my throne.

Deploy to my new ship, and head to where Thainos was last sighted: "Earth"

5

You leave the bridge peacefully with Alpha and Omega squads in tow, head down to the warp bay, and teleport over to your own ship. As requested, the architecture resembles a dark and Gothic church with the occasional bit of exposed technology. You then fly your ship away from the Moloko and into Earth's orbit. You check the scanners, but they don't detect Thainos on the surface. 

Thainos has four of the six Infinity Milks.
The Seven will devour the mortal universe in five turns unless prevented.
« Last Edit: June 29, 2019, 01:33:52 am by Enemy post »
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My mods and forum games.
Enemy post has claimed the title of Dragonsong the Harmonic of Melodious Exaltion!

randomgenericusername

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 38
« Reply #590 on: June 29, 2019, 01:44:29 am »

Remember the nanovirus glands? Release it now so that it consumes the biological blood cages and frees the souls of the captured Seven. Being an incorporeal eldritch ghost, I should be immune to it's effects.
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The dog behind the man behind the beard.
Immortality like that would be even more game breaking than four Aaron's in one place.
You're both so obviously scum that this is a surprisingly difficult decision.

King Zultan

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 39
« Reply #591 on: June 29, 2019, 06:11:39 am »

"Hey Burt sorry to show up unannounced but I need some of the sun's DNA for something I'm doing, and you still owe me from when I helped you get rid of that mailman you killed with a shovel."
Convince Burt to give me some Sun DNA.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
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Naturegirl1999

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 39
« Reply #592 on: June 29, 2019, 07:46:28 am »

try to sneak away before being noticed

(I enjoyed it. I’m glad that writing it also serves as practice for the future. Don’t worry, you won’t have to do it again)
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ziizo

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 39
« Reply #593 on: June 29, 2019, 08:07:26 am »

Close the portal to the Elemental Plane of Milk.

If that fails punch a second portal this one to the Elemental Plane of Nothingness and put it under the portal to the Elemental Plane of Milk.
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GG, Ziizo. May my spirit live on in your boobs.

Imic

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 39
« Reply #594 on: June 29, 2019, 09:16:53 am »

Go through everything the vacuum picked up. Every signgle thing. Keep the water, it might have magical properties. Remove any objects of interest. And... Get a drink. The ol’ throat’s in quite a state.
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ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 39
« Reply #595 on: June 29, 2019, 09:20:19 am »

Yoink! Remember to also ring the doorbell and hide after yoinking the Milk.
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Glass

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 39
« Reply #596 on: June 29, 2019, 09:31:48 am »

Remove the advertisements.
Anyway, now, with the information GiantDad uncovered, let’s try to figure out where Thainos is most likely to be.
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Quote from: FallacyOfUrist (on Discord, 11/15/21)
Glass is, as usual, correct.
Yep, as ever, I bestow upon Glass the expected +1
I'm gonna say we go with whatever Glass's idea is.

Fluffe9911

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 39
« Reply #597 on: June 29, 2019, 12:02:08 pm »

Silence: Continues onward!
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CABL

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 39
« Reply #598 on: June 29, 2019, 12:33:00 pm »

"The fuck? Our ship has holoposters of naked, four-breasted alien chicks on the hull! Delta, deal with it, quickly!"

Assist with the removal of ads, then beam down some Imperial Guard onto Thainos' potential location.
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Pounded in the Butt by my own Government... oh wait, that's real life.

Much less active than I used to be on these forums, but I still visit them on occasion. Will probably resume my activity in full once Dwarf Fortress will be released on Steam.

sprinkled chariot

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Re: Minimalism and Milk 3:Turn 39
« Reply #599 on: June 29, 2019, 02:58:48 pm »

Put in ear plugs and go wake up Azatoth with blood magic, so he saves us from Thainos and goat shitters
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