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[Praefectus Screptum]

Proceed to question his sanity before moving to N, 25 to attack the gargoyle.

[Empiricist]

N26

[SeriousConcentrate]

Keith held up an index finger.

"Hey, uh, gimme a second. Ah..."

He covered his mouth and after a few false starts, he sneezed twice in a row.

"Excuse me. Sorry, I'm allergic to little wuss demons like you chumps."

[Powder Miner]

:"This is still all stupid, but honestly fuck it I'd be down to slice some shit up. Work out the increasing frustration."
M27

[IamanElfCollaborator]

Rosencrantz groans, nodding at Asuna as she walked past.
"You and me both. Man, was THIS not what I signed up for..."
The gargoyles stare at Keith.

"'Ey! 'Oo you callin' wuss? Ah?"
"'Ey, Fred, don' be so offended, mate. 'E could be allergic ta gargoyles, y'know. I read it was a real thing in one of them newspapers, wot told me that life from the stars came 'ere years ago to build them castles."
"Oh. Well, if yer allergic to gargoyles, wot you doin' here then, ah? Us gargoyles, we ain't responsible for no....wotchamacallit, anafalaktic....no, that don' sound roight. Wot's the word fer it again, Bob?"
"Wotsit now....uh....anagrammatic? Ye. Sounds fancy enough to be the right word."
"Yer, what 'e said! Anagrammatic shock! We ain't payin' for you growin' hives, yer lactose intolerance and sneezin' everywhere like some plonker, alright? Go home and get yer medicines and come back so we can settl' this like real men!"

[SeriousConcentrate]

"You guys aren't very good at trashtalk, are you?"

Keith rolled his shoulders and bounced in place a few times to loosen his muscles up.

"All right, look dudes. Me sneezing? I can do that practically on command, you wouldn't believe how bothered my buddy Elliott would get when I'd sneeze on him. Anyway I was using that to highlight the insult, which is, you, your boy there, and everyone who thinks they can just waltz into this town and take it over when I'm here is a stupid nerd and I'm going to put every single one of you in your place."

"That's what happens when you get in my way, capiche?"

[IamanElfCollaborator]

"Wot's capiche? Sounds like one of them fancy egg foods. You callin' us eggheads, fookin' plonker?"
"Nah, man, I think he's talkin' about that thing they make spicy things out of."
"That's pepper, Fred! Wot does capiche have anything to do with that, ah?"

It's....increasingly clear that the gargoyles aren't exactly the most intelligent or on-point demons to have ever walked the face of Generia.

[SeriousConcentrate]

"Capiche's Italian. Basically means, understand?"

Keith made a show of checking his bare left wrist.

"Anyway you probably got like a minute left to talk, because if I don't knock you out sure as shit Ito will, and she's pretty mad about things. Just, like, in general."

[Praefectus Screptum]

:"This is still all stupid, but honestly fuck it I'd be down to slice some shit up. Work out the increasing frustration."

"Now there's MPMPH I can agree with. So much for -not- being part of this mess, might as well do what I can do."

[SirAston]

"Is... Is trashtalking like a requirement in this group or is Keith just having too much stupid fun?"

[Sirus]

Saunter over to O-28.

[kj1225]

Keilee pops up over Keith's shoulder.
"He's a Revivian."
She helpfully explains to the Gargoyles.

[SeriousConcentrate]

"It's the art of cutting a promo, Wander. I'm not as good as I once was but I'm easing back on into it."

[IamanElfCollaborator]

Jarvis, being the impatient fellow he is, puts an end to this jolly discussion.

(Jarvis' Wigglership is blossoming!)

Jarvis initiates!
Hit: 32, hit!
Critical: 3, critical!
Gargoyle A takes 12 damage!

Gargoyle A retaliates!
Hit: 35, hit!
Jarvis takes 5 damage!

"Oi! That's not very nice, ah? Me and yer friend 'ere were tryin' ta have a discussion all proper-like! How 'bouts we do it to ya, ya fookin' donkey?"

~Enemy Phase~
And so Fred the gargoyle attempts to visit punishment upon the group. On Asuna.

It does not go well.

(Jarvis' Charisma activates!)
(The Lightning Flash strikes!)

Gargoyle A initiates!
Hit: 16, hit!
Asuna takes 12 damage!

Asuna retaliates!
Hit: Autohit!
Critical: 16, hit!
Gargoyle A takes 12 damage!

Gargoyle A is defeated!

Keilee takes 4 damage from Squeamish!

"Huh. I've been impaled, Bob. That's new."

Then he drops like a stone. Bob screeches.
"No! 'E wuz my best friend, ya bastards! 'E taught me 'ow to count to five, all smart-like! I'll git ya fer dat, ya fookin' bastards!"

(Vlad's Daunt activates!)
(Yliss makes a Feisty Flight!)

Gargoyle B initiates!
Hit: 46, hit!
Yliss takes 10 damage!

Yliss counters!
Hit: Autohit!
Gargoyle B takes 3 damage!

Bob is....a little more successful than Fred.

Skeletons, on the other hand, are a little less talkative.

(Jarvis' Charisma activates!)
(Vlad's Daunt activates!)
(The Lightning Flash strikes!)

Undead Swordsman A initiates!
Hit: 74, miss!

Asuna retaliates!
Hit: Autohit!
Critical: 5, hit!
Undead Swordsman A takes 21 damage!

Undead Swordsman A is defeated!

Keilee takes 4 damage from Squeamish!

But not nearly as effective on Asuna.

On her allies, on the other hand....

(Jarvis' Charisma activates!)

Undead Swordsman B initiates!
Hit: 19, hit!
Shoes takes 6 damage!

Shoes retaliates!
Hit: Autohit!
Undead Swordsman B takes 7 damage!

(Jarvis' Charisma activates!)

Undead Archer B initiates!
Hit: 96, miss

Shoes cannot retaliate!

(Jarvis' Wigglership is blossoming!)

Undead Archer A initiates!
Hit: 34, hit!
Jarvis takes 3 damage!

It's a bit of a mixed bag.

Meanwhile, up in the castle...
"What's that noise? Are those people trying to break in?"
"Our forces will keep them occupied for the moment. But every adventurer in Initia will likely be converging on the castle. If we must find Belphegor, we should do it quickly."
"Hmph. Fine. The team handling the kitchen, check the basement and make sure Belphegor isn't hiding in there. The other team, secure the treasure room. We need to hasten our search for that incompetent laggard."

~~~~Turn 2~~~~
Player Phase
~~Map Theme (Funk Goes On)~~

Spoiler: HP (click to show/hide)

Party:
42-1: 21/21 (Heal)
Asuna "Rio" Ito: 8/20 (Slim Sword)
Gnome Jenkins: 20/20 (Slim Sword)
Jarvis "Wigglerman" Samek: 14/22 (Slim Lance)
Keilee: 8/18 (Worm)
Keith Piper: 22/22 (Hatchet)
Marcia Henry: 22/22 (Slim Lance)
Rosencrantz: 20/20 (Iron Knife)
Serena: 16/16 (Heal)
Shoes: 18/24 (Slim Lance)
Vlad: 19/19 (Soldier's Drum)
Yliss Wander: 9/19 (Slim Sword)

Enemies:
Undead Swordsman A: 0/21 (Iron Blade) (Race: Zombie (Skeleton))
Gargoyle of Wrath A: 0/18 (Iron Lance) (Race: Gargoyle)
Undead Archer A: 20/20 (Iron Bow) (Race: Zombie (Skeleton))
Undead Swordsman B: 14/21 (Iron Blade) (Race: Zombie (Skeleton))
Gargoyle of Wrath B: 3/18 (Iron Lance) (Race: Gargoyle)
Undead Archer B: 20/20 (Iron Bow) (Race: Zombie (Skeleton))

Werewolf of Greed A: 18/18 (Sharp Fang) (Race: Werewolf)
Minor Brute of Greed A: 22/22 (Iron Axe) (Race: Demon)
Minor Scion of Envy A: 18/18 (Photon) (Race: Demon)
Undead Archer C: 20/20 (Iron Bow) (Race: Zombie (Skeleton))
Werewolf of Greed B: 18/18 (Sharp Fang) (Race: Werewolf)
Minor Brute of Greed B: 22/22 (Iron Axe) (Race: Demon)
Minor Scion of Envy B: 18/18 (Photon) (Race: Demon)
Undead Archer D: 20/20 (Iron Bow) (Race: Zombie (Skeleton))

Werewolf of Greed C: 18/18 (Sharp Fang) (Race: Werewolf)
Undead Swordsman C: 21/21 (Iron Blade) (Race: Zombie (Skeleton))
Werewolf of Greed D: 18/18 (Sharp Fang) (Race: Werewolf)
Orobas Centimani Mammonia (Minor Brute of Greed C)*: 22/22 (Iron Axe) (Race: Demon)
Undead Swordsman D: 21/21 (Iron Blade) (Race: Zombie (Skeleton))

Werewolf of Greed E: 18/18 (Sharp Fang) (Race: Werewolf)
Gargoyle of Wrath C: 18/18 (Iron Lance) (Race: Gargoyle)
Minor Magus of Envy A: 18/18 (Ice Shard) (Race: Demon)
Werewolf of Greed F: 18/18 (Sharp Fang) (Race: Werewolf)
Gargoyle of Wrath D: 18/18 (Iron Lance) (Race: Gargoyle)
Minor Magus of Envy B: 18/18 (Ice Shard) (Race: Demon)

Minor Brute of Greed D: 22/22 (Iron Axe) (Race: Demon)
Gargoyle of Wrath E: 18/18 (Iron Lance) (Race: Gargoyle)
Undead Swordsman E: 21/21 (Iron Blade) (Race: Zombie (Skeleton))
Minor Brute of Greed E: 22/22 (Iron Axe) (Race: Demon)
Gargoyle of Wrath F: 18/18 (Iron Lance) (Race: Gargoyle)
Undead Swordsman F: 21/21 (Iron Blade) (Race: Zombie (Skeleton))
Ardenta Umbra Leviathia: 25/25 (Worm)
Lautia Cinisia Mammonia: 25/25 (Carrion)

Spoiler: Map Info (click to show/hide)

Objective: Rout the enemy.
Other Info:
-Rosencrantz will not receive level ups until the party receives First Tier Level 1.
-Lautia starts at N5, Ardenta at O5.

XP: 12/100

[SirAston]

"Ah, yes, shouldn't forget you're a wrester at heart, not a wrestler for the camera."
"Don't get distracted by selling yourself, though, or you get an enemy blade in your face."
"... But maybe you can convince me to be the Raven to your Hulk Hogan when we're done with this shit. Occasional gloating could be fun."

And then Yliss got hit. Badly.

"Nnnngh... Ah, damn, that stings!"