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A fresh start in the ages past... good or bad?

Yeah! Loving all the aspects of it, and the original series got a bit boring, to be honest.
It's quite good, and has everything a SPAMKINGDOM should have.
It's okay, wouldn't mind seeing the original series updated again though.
I WANT MY FIREBLOOD EMPIRE BACK RIGHT NOW!!!1eleven

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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM 3! King Matin of Kastoria!  (Read 103174 times)

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM 3! King Lycwl of Kastoria!
« Reply #15 on: May 24, 2019, 03:22:04 pm »

400 AEC*

Glory to you, Lycwl of Kastoria!

The vile Arrat, tyrant ruling the Kingdom for the last twenty years, have been slain by you and your companions, who rebelled against his oppression. You're a charismatic man, and your co-conspirators have chosen you to lead the Kingdom into new era!

Kastoria is the land of rolling hills, fertile fields, gentle bays and prosperous peoples. One good thing that can be said about Arrat's taxes is that the Treasury is quite filled at the moment.

But the populace, the noblemen and the clergy of Ane and Eder, The Mother and the Father, are all content with removal of Arrat. They hope you will turn out to be different after all.

The Advisor, one of the few honorable and trusted men previously in Arrat's employ, brings you the Scrolls of Kingdom Status.

Happiness: 4
Population: 4
Economy: 6
Army: 4
*Navy: 1

The Scrolls are dotted with some strange numbers and the Advisor speaks about them in some poetic nonsense. Oh well, time to start working!

400 AEC, Spring

The Orcs have arrived!!

A delegation of High Orcish diplomats has entered the capital city, and made their way to your stony keep. The bald, scaled, rough&tough envoys are clad in the usual attire of High Orc nobility - black fabrics adorned with bone, horn and pearl. High Orcs, compared to the Low Orks, are noble and civilized disciples of Dogu, but at the core they're still fearsome warriors who do not shy away from fighting.

"Greetings, new hooman King of Kastoria. I am Zork. We here on behalf of Great Lord Żrt, who wishes to make a trade." The Advisor leans to you and reminds you what the High Orcs deal in: foot soldiers, and bodyguards.

Foot soldiers are often poorer High Orcs, or those of Low Orks that were civilized enough to reason and seek mercenary work rather than simple rape, pillage and destruction. These footsoldiers were oft employed by human nobility, although the recent trend sees Humans use human armies instead.

Bodyguards are sons and grandsons of important High Orcish nobility and government officials. These young, but strong and fierce warriors require yearly compensation, but many a King have been saved from assassination or won against the enemy with just handful of High Orcs at his side. And for these High Orcish sons and youths, there's no better return to the homeland than with reputation as an acknowledged and successful warrior.

"Great Lord Żrt knows that you are of the new blood, and that you might make a good partner of business. So what it will be, hooman King. Do you wish for soldiers or guards?"

A) "I will gladly strengthen my army with orcish blood!"
B) "How about we trade some money for resources and goods instead?"
C) "I need no services of no Orc, so please leave."
D) "I will gladly employ some fierce orcish warriors for protection!"
E) "Why not both? I have plenty of money to spend!"
« Last Edit: May 24, 2019, 03:26:33 pm by Haspen »
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Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
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Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM 3!
« Reply #16 on: May 24, 2019, 03:24:54 pm »

A no racism in our army for us no sir, we'll have the biggest and most diverse army of all!
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helmacon

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM 3! King Lycwl of Kastoria!
« Reply #17 on: May 24, 2019, 03:42:07 pm »

A
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Science is Meta gaming IRL. Humans are cheating fucks.

Wolfhunter107

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM 3! King Lycwl of Kastoria!
« Reply #18 on: May 24, 2019, 03:53:03 pm »

A
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Just ask yourself: What would a mobster do?
So we butcher them and build a 4chan tallow soap tower as a monument to our greatness?

auzewasright

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM 3! King Lycwl of Kastoria!
« Reply #19 on: May 24, 2019, 04:21:25 pm »

A, better the orc's manpower gets depleted than ours.
« Last Edit: May 24, 2019, 07:30:32 pm by auzewasright »
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On a fun note, all of the beds just starting disintegrating
By the way, it (my name) is pronounced "ah-zee".

SirAston

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM 3! King Lycwl of Kastoria!
« Reply #20 on: May 24, 2019, 04:34:29 pm »

D, we should keep the current trend of Humans in human armies going for now to ensure the happiness of the people while enjoying the service of bodyguards of such high renown.
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Baffler

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM 3! King Lycwl of Kastoria!
« Reply #21 on: May 24, 2019, 04:46:51 pm »

D.
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ZBridges

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM 3! King Lycwl of Kastoria!
« Reply #22 on: May 24, 2019, 04:47:55 pm »

D
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Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM 3! King Lycwl of Kastoria!
« Reply #23 on: May 24, 2019, 04:55:16 pm »

D

We might get more dependable allies as a CHA leader rubbing elbows with Orcish nobility. Also, elite bodyguard Orcs might also double as Martial Leaders.
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auzewasright

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM 3! King Lycwl of Kastoria!
« Reply #24 on: May 24, 2019, 07:30:44 pm »

changing to D
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On a fun note, all of the beds just starting disintegrating
By the way, it (my name) is pronounced "ah-zee".

Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM 3! King Lycwl of Kastoria!
« Reply #25 on: May 24, 2019, 11:09:30 pm »

D

[A new SPAMGAME. Huzzah! I'm always excited for these. Especially when they're games of the SPAMLORD himself.]
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM 3! King Lycwl of Kastoria!
« Reply #26 on: May 25, 2019, 03:55:17 am »

You agree to buy services of High Orcish sons and youths as personal bodyguard detail.

"As you wish, hooman king. We now depart, and next year in this time, we will return with your guards. Be ready to give us the gold we want." The delegates salute you with open palms, and then leave.

400 AEC, Summer

You simply cannot pry your eyes from her. She is beautiful; that waterfall of curly black hair, those sparkly blue eyes, the marble skin marred only with that rebellious black spot in the very centre of her left cheek. Her image is that in which you sink your eyes very often since you've assumed the throne of Kastoria.

And you can't help but notice that she turns her eyes - and her smile - toward you more often than any other maid at the castle.

Now for the bad news: she is only a servant at the castle, having been employed by the old tyrant after he confiscated her father's family property. Once a noblewoman, she is now considered a commoner, having no land, wealth, or connections to speak of.

Not a good marriage prospect, but then again - you're the King here, and you have succession to consider!

A) How about we start slow and see where it takes me? I don't need to marry right away!
B) The King marries whomever he pleases! She shall be my wife.
C) The King should not mingle with disgraced nobles-turned-commoners. It's bad for publicity.
« Last Edit: May 25, 2019, 04:00:17 am by Haspen »
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM 3! King Lycwl of Kastoria!
« Reply #27 on: May 25, 2019, 04:06:08 am »

A

Might as well take a mistress while we wait for a proper wife. Hell, if she gives us a bastard or two soon, we can legitimize it before we have a wife to anger by doing so. Need to start the bloodline strong and have many children.
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Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM 3! King Lycwl of Kastoria!
« Reply #28 on: May 25, 2019, 05:06:16 am »

A - I wonder if we'll have the opportunity to restore he family's land and property. And anyone else who the last king did this too.
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Imic

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM 3! King Lycwl of Kastoria!
« Reply #29 on: May 25, 2019, 05:14:22 am »

A.
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