Turn 3: Kill Fix it with Fire
The first course of action was, of course, to fix Rosebush's missing core. It was a group effort, but in reality, it probably only should have been done by a single god...
As the core begins to fill with delcious hot pocket goodness, chains of fire (with the assistance of fireproof plants), keep the planet from imploding on itself. While much dumber plans have worked before, this is not one of those cases. The fire, while it doesn't burn anything, still projects heat, and the pizza filling is more than happy to absorb 90% of it. Chungus had created the perfect amount to handle the normal pressures of the planet, but did not anticipate this oven created by AŚ13. Petra's attempts to reduce the fire's intensity managed to save the surface of the planet, but soon the pressure within was too much...
Meanwhile, Delicio, assisted by Moonflower, tries to perform way too many actions at once and spreads themselves thin. Their attempt at creating slimemoss sputters, so they move on to the next action, creating Magic Slime. Those who are familiar with catastrophic failures when magic is involved won't be shocked to know that it usually ends up being very bad, but at least it isn't terrible for the gods that aren't involved, as Moonflower ends up taking the brunt of it. Delicio and Moonflower are at a disadvantage next turn. Delicio gains the aspect Magic. The final attempt at creating a slime moon over Terra is met with success, but the effort was too exausting to continue, so all Delicio could do was dub the satellite, "Mekelleke."
Assuming the other gods weren't going to fuck up fixing Rosebush, ykuvr attempts to erase the undead lands, again, but not before fate intervenes:
Petra quickly makes an ice sphere, far enough from the sun to remain frozen, where Thanos sends his undead lands. They both manage to stop ykuvr from delivering what would be another brutal blow to Rosebush.
Petra, exhausting themself from running this way and that, returns to the surface of Terra to fill the gaps in their hive mind plants, securing a near global network. The hivemind plants know to stay away from the ruby fortress of slimitude for their own safety. They are done for this turn.
Eronstile and Asrieth keep to themselves, choosing to perform improvements on their own pet projects. Fish and frogs come to life on Terra and on the small underground lakes of Failoon, while Autochtan finally gains Sapience, and is now the wisest....thing? in the galaxy.
Burt tries to teach the dear fascism, and Petra is only able to verbally complain about it at this point. Eronstile hears their plea, and goes through with the communist plan. Everyone wins, but Burt wins more, resulting in 80/20 split. In a normal society, there would be a vote or something, but the hateful deerfolk decide to settle this in violence!
Meanwhile, AŚ13 teaches them fire hurts, which fits, as they decide to set their pickle home on fire! 33% of the pickle is currently burning.
Acter puts the pickle in its place: a sealed pickle jar. Nothing can leave until the jar is destroyed by divine means.
Back to Rosebush: the pressure continues growing until the pizza filling breaks through the crust. Hot cheese and processed meat begins to spill onto the surface, burning everything (other than the hive mind flowers) and cooling as it hits the ocean. While a lot of shit dies, pizza continents and islands begin forming on the surface, turning into floating pizza pies.
Chungus, satisfied with their work, munches on the tasteless crab.
A ripple moves over reality, showing how much damage was already done to this universe. Something weird is going to happen on the next turn.
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Topic: Lousy Gods (Read 27196 times)