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Author Topic: {4/4} All Out of Bubblegum - Silent Christmas, Deadly Christmas  (Read 16244 times)

Cheesy Honkers

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Name: 0cra
Bubblegum Remaining: 6
Favourite Movie or Song: the crazybus title screen™️
>Try and find the stick of gum. Use magic to turn the corpses into a door and christmas tree. Prepare my tommy gun for if I get attacked.
Nuh uh, the gum is gone. ((You failed a mundane task. The penalty for that is loss of gum. Sadly, you cannot replenish gum. You have 5 left.))
[1] Tearing your mind away from the vile clutches of crazybus, you instead focus on what The Incident taught you. You huff, you puff, you damn nearly pop your eyes out of your sockets and shout out a horrendous, mind-blasting formula, shriek out the heinous words of prophets long forgotten and point your trembling, sparking hands to the corpses and finish the cruel incantion with an ungodly roar. Suddenly, the bits of the dead prostitute start slowly flowing towards one central spot in your apartment. You witness her remains first rot, then turn to dust and then into nothingness as time is twisted by your malevolent ritual. In the small pile of filth that are the only lasting remains of the woman you see first a tiny sapling emerge, growing immensely within seconds until it stands as tall as you, a christmas tree through and through.

Satisfied, you turn to the cultists. Their splattered visages displease you, and so you utter an incantation more horrendous than any other. The few sane vestiges of your mind dare question the morality of such a spell, but the overwhelming insanity fueling your unearhtly magic ignores the protest of such an isignificant chunk of your personality. You gesticulate wildly and soon the three dead men start assembling together into a monstrous, bloblike puddle in the corridor. The splinters of the destroyed door are slowly assimilated onto a form entirely new. You gaze as the flesh of fallen men warps into solid wood, slowly erecting door handles and even hinges. Contented, you lean over, grab the door and pop it into the doorframe.

From outside, you hear shouting, clanking of metal and some quiet, muted chanting. You prepare for the upcoming onslaught, grab your Tommygun and wait.

Name: John Jones
Bubblegum Remaining:7
Favourite Movie or Song: Don't Stop Me Now

Chew bubblegum fight my way through costumers to what probably is the last Red Ryder BB Gun©
With a knowing smile, you snort a second piece of gum. You feel a spark of fear in the air. As the queued people slowly turn to see the new meat, you hear a familiar tune start playing on the mall speakers. You set your sights on the store and see the very last Red Ryder BB Gun© be grabbed by the shop clerk. The attention of the crowd turns to the end wondrous miracle that they hoped to buy. Someone emits a roar of suffering only a mother of dead children or a man without a Red Ryder BB Gun© feels like. A salaryman, waiting with his entire family in the queue reaches his breaking point and with rage of a thousand suns he bites into the neck of the woman in front of him. With little interest you notice him shaping into a being more animal than man. The rest of the crowd at this point drops any pretense of civilisation and starts fighting amongst itself. One woman pulls out a machete from her comically undersized handbag and starts to hack her way through the men, women and children like they were lianas of Yucatan and she was a conquistador in search of the mythical city of Cibola.

You, however, do not fear, for you know that today Freddy sings only to you. You break into a sprint and leap over the werewolf man trying to claw at your throat. You use him as a springboard, jump some ten yards into the air only to elbow slam into a group of knife-fighting youths. Their shanking is stopped as when your elbow connects they are blown away with the energy, being flung into, respectively, a brick wall, a trash can, through a pane of glass carried by two men trying to avoid the whole commotion and directly into the ceiling, getting stuck. The glass pane shatters into a million tiny pieces as the two men sigh and go get another. You do not care for such distractions, however, and run for the store only to slide underneath a hulking, 7' tall man and sweep his legs. You are almost in arms reach of the prize when you see the machete lady put her mutinous mitts on your goal. Thinking quickly, you grab our towel with one hand, spin it into a rope and use it as a whip to snatch it straight out of her hands.  She turns to you, murder in her eyes, but you crack your towel whip threateningly and she dares not step closer. As you look around, you see only you, the machete lady and the werewolf man still standing. The wolfman snarls and roars "This isn't over, fool! You shall feel the fangs of the Heinous Hound soon enough!". He turns, breaks down on all fours and runs out the store. You turn over to the woman, only to see her gone, with a note left in her place saying "You have something that I, the Conquistadora, desire and I always get what I want." You turn to the clerk, pay for the Red Ryder BB Gun© and some packaging paper.

You revert your whip back into a towel, tie it around your waist and start jogging home. When you turn the corner you however see several police cars and unmarked black vans parked in front of your dorm. Around them are a several small town dirty cops speaking with their southern drawl as well as robed cultist preparing some kind of godless ritual. They haven't seen you yet.
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ziizo

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Name: John Jones
Bubblegum Remaining:6
Favourite Movie or Song: Don't Stop Me Now.

Is there is something life has taught me is that every  problem can be solved trough violence.

Steal a police car and use it to run over the cultist preparing the ritual.
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GG, Ziizo. May my spirit live on in your boobs.

Screech9791

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Name: 0cra
Bubblegum Remaining: 5
Favourite Movie or Song: the crazybus title screen™️

>Teleport inside the middle the cultist preparing the ritual, gibbing it from having some bay12 shitposter suddenly teleport inside the cultist's body, causing a man-sized cavity to have to be created in the cultist's body for me to fit, which will likely shove a lot of the body out of the way, ripping apart flesh, bones, and organs alike.
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Cheesy Honkers

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Name: John Jones
Bubblegum Remaining:6
Favourite Movie or Song: Don't Stop Me Now.

Is there is something life has taught me is that every  problem can be solved trough violence.

Steal a police car and use it to run over the cultist preparing the ritual.

[1] You swagger up to the assembled police cars, ignore the questioning, confused looks from the cops and grab at the driver door, only to realise that sitting there is another good ol' boy behind the wheel. The surprising revelation causes you to drop the towel. This, as it turns out, is similar to dropping the proverbial soap. An old lady looking on from a window faints and falls out, and the police are quick to react. Four sweaty southerners rush you, handcuff you and stomp you into the ground, all while shouting "THAT'S WHAT YOU GIT". Bruised and aching all over, you are thrown into the back of the car. From the outside you hear "The last time I saw such a fine willy bein' pulled like that was at my family reunion. Oh, Uncle Cletus, that ol' rascal, knows to how to have a good time!" Your Red Ryder BB Gun© is taken away from you and thrown recklessly into the boot of the car.

Name: 0cra
Bubblegum Remaining: 5
Favourite Movie or Song: the crazybus title screen™️

>Teleport inside the middle the cultist preparing the ritual, gibbing it from having some bay12 shitposter suddenly teleport inside the cultist's body, causing a man-sized cavity to have to be created in the cultist's body for me to fit, which will likely shove a lot of the body out of the way, ripping apart flesh, bones, and organs alike.
[10] You clench your teeth and focus all of your energy inwards. You feel reality itself being ripped to shreds around you (which, naturally, sounds like crazybus) and with a mighty force of will you wish yourself to be right where that chubby robed guy is reaching a chant crescendo. You feel a tugging as like being grabbed by a thousand hands and then you are no longer in your apartment. You briefly see flashes of humanity's history. For an unimaginably short moment you see a flash of the atomic bomb being detonated. You focus entirely on that energy, collect your entire willpower and will yourself to appear once more in the real world.

Suddenly, the in the cultist circle appears a strange light. The lead chanter at this point takes off his hood and bellows "WE ARE YOUR FAITHFUL, OH LORD OF DARKNESS, AND WE WORSHIP YOUR RULE. WE BEG YOU, TO OUR FOES BRING FORTH YOUR HATE AND MYSELF I SHALL EMASCULA-". His prayer is cut short when his body explodes in a shower bone and gore. The assembled cultists are ripped to shreds by the shards of bone and the policemen stand there, astonished and covered head to toe in blood. In the spot where the cultist stood now stands a familiar figure. 0cra cocks his Tommygun, smirks and says "You rang?"

There is roughly 30 minutes remaining until your guests arrive. Ignoring the commotion, a Doors R Us van pulls up to the side of the road. The driver then grabs a door and a crate of tommygun ammo and casually enters the dormitories. A minute later he goes back outside, gets some money from 0cra and politely drives away, not interrupting your confrontation.
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ziizo

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Bring a piece of bubblegum to my mouth.

Escape from the handcuffs and punch trough the window to grab one of my captors trough the neck and slam his body to the car door until it falls off.
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GG, Ziizo. May my spirit live on in your boobs.

Screech9791

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Name: 0cra
Bubblegum Remaining: 5
Favourite Movie or Song: the crazybus title screen™️

>Return to the apartment and wait. Prepare for guests. Hide any traces of the incident, the dead hooker, or the cultists.
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Cheesy Honkers

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Bring a piece of bubblegum to my mouth.

Escape from the handcuffs and punch trough the window to grab one of my captors trough the neck and slam his body to the car door until it falls off.

((5 pieces of gum left.))

With great difficulty, you twist and contort until you can reach your pockets with your teeth. With great oral dexterity, you suck out a single piece of gum. You feel strength come back to your body. You use a bare minimum of force and the handcuffs pop open. It's time to rock. You headbutt the car window, showering the shocked cops with a rain of glass. You wrap your powerful hands around the neck of your captor and pull his head inside. He struggles meekly against your might, but that doesn't help him as you slam the back of his head into the door. The cheap plastic breaks apart and reveals the frame of the car, which you slam the policeman into once more. With a mighty clang, the door is ripped of its hinges with a badly battered and unconscious policeman stuck in the middle. You step out of the car and gaze at the horrified policemen scrambling to pull their guns out. One of them shouts "Freeze! Get down on the ground!" and aims his revolver at your head.

Name: 0cra
Bubblegum Remaining: 5
Favourite Movie or Song: the crazybus title screen™️

>Return to the apartment and wait. Prepare for guests. Hide any traces of the incident, the dead hooker, or the cultists.
[5] You ignore the slackjawed policemen and stroll back to your apartment. In front of the apartment door lies another door and a crate of bullets. You grab both and place them in your room, away from prying eyes. Then, you grab a rag and wipe the fridge clean. It takes a while and it's rather unpleasant. You put a linen tablecloth on the table along with some plates and cutlery. It's almost perfect, you only need some food to serve and you're home free.
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Screech9791

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Name: 0cra
Bubblegum Remaining: 5
Favourite Movie or Song: the crazybus title screen™️

>Order a few pineapple pizzas to feed the guests.
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ziizo

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Name: John Jones
Bubblegum Remaining: 5
Favourite Movie or Song: Don't Stop Me Now.

steal gun from policeman and use it to steal his clothes
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GG, Ziizo. May my spirit live on in your boobs.

Cheesy Honkers

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Name: 0cra
Bubblegum Remaining: 5
Favourite Movie or Song: the crazybus title screen™️

>Order a few pineapple pizzas to feed the guests.
You grab the phone, punch in the number for your favourite pizzeria and wait. A familiar voice says "YOUR SOUL IS MINE" and you remember that the cultists have already either somehow intercepted your phone lines or have taken over the pizzeria. With a sad frown you ignore the death threats and gently put down the phone.

((You don't lose gum. This avenue of action is no longer available.))
Name: John Jones
Bubblegum Remaining: 5
Favourite Movie or Song: Don't Stop Me Now.

steal gun from policeman and use it to steal his clothes
[3] Like a hawk spying a defenseless rabbit below, you snatch the dropped revolver from the ground. With the speed of a proud falcon you raise it and aim at the face of the nearest policeman and shout "Back off!". A single sweat drop rolls down the forehead of the cop, his knees trembling with fear. There is a short standoff. He is the first to break, however, as he takes a step back.

You use this opportunity to turn your attention to the unconscious southerner stuck in the door. While aiming with one hand you take off his jacket with the other. A cop asks "What do you think you're doing!?". As an answer you pull down your victims pants. "Oh come on!" is the only reply your partner in conversation can muster up. Another cop whispers to his partner "Is it just me, or is Billy-Bob dummy thick?" "No, Derryl, Billy-Bob is definetely lookin' fine today."

As you strip the unconscious man to his underwear the assembled policemen are getting more and more bothered. You now have a policeman's uniform and his gun.
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ziizo

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Name: John Jones
Bubblegum Remaining: 5
Favourite Movie or Song: Don't Stop Me Now.

Kick open the car trunk and retrieve the Red Ryder BB Gun©
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GG, Ziizo. May my spirit live on in your boobs.

Screech9791

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Name: 0cra
Bubblegum Remaining: 5
Favourite Movie or Song: the crazybus title screen™️

>Kick open the skulls of the policemen trying to stop my roommate from retrieving the Red Ryder BB gun. Make the speakers inside wherever the players live play an extremely loud version of the Crazybus title screen music.
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Cheesy Honkers

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Name: John Jones
Bubblegum Remaining: 5
Favourite Movie or Song: Don't Stop Me Now.

Kick open the car trunk and retrieve the Red Ryder BB Gun©
[4] You stare the policemen down long enough to walk over to the trunk, kick it open and grab the one and only Red Ryder BB Gun©. You hear an angelic choir singing in the sky as you grasp the gilded form of the godly gift in your hands.

Name: 0cra
Bubblegum Remaining: 5
Favourite Movie or Song: the crazybus title screen™️

>Kick open the skulls of the policemen trying to stop my roommate from retrieving the Red Ryder BB gun. Make the speakers inside wherever the players live play an extremely loud version of the Crazybus title screen music.
[7] You dropkick your apartment window, forcing the window pane out of the frame and onto a policeman, who promptly explodes. Your multi-story dropkick slams into another cop, splattering him and stunning everyone else. The three remaining cops try and shoot you as you approach the third cop, but every shot they fire misses. As you get close you see him panic and try to shoot his empty gun. Pathetic. You do a dragon uppercut kick, ripping his head off and sending it flying sixty feet into the air. As the head comes down you kick it once more, sending it into your apartment and setting off your speaker collection. Suddenly, everyone is deafened by the godless shrieks of crazybus. The fourth policeman comes to terms with his life and death, gasps, grabs his chest and dies from a convenient heart attack. The fifth cop however decided to run for it as soon as the... music started playing.
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Screech9791

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Name: 0cra
Bubblegum Remaining: 5
Favourite Movie or Song: the crazybus title screen™️

>Wonder why I manage to pull off this brand of badassery without using bubblegum. Transform the corpses into a replacement apartment window, like I did with the cultists.
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ziizo

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Name: John Jones
Bubblegum Remaining: 5
Favourite Movie or Song: Don't Stop Me Now

eat bubblegum change into new clothes and go to nearby pizzeria I will search for food
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GG, Ziizo. May my spirit live on in your boobs.
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