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[Splint]

Honestly I'm pleasantly surprised. Could definitely get far, far worse as far as stats go, and with some training, he'll actually be pretty decent in a fight (the training would be more to make up for that spatial sense than anything, oof...)

[NRDL]

It's refreshing seeing a bit of mania in the writing and development of a community fort. Takes me back.

[NordicNooob]

Hold up. Are there two different gods named Avuz Goldenmountains, or is Splint somehow the worshipper of the same god... twice?

[Superdorf]

It's refreshing seeing a bit of mania in the writing and development of a community fort. Takes me back.

Thankeesir! I am a bit of a maniac.

Hold up. Are there two different gods named Avuz Goldenmountains, or is Splint somehow the worshipper of the same god... twice?

Oh. Huh. I'd not noticed.
That's... that's really weird that is. I checked, and I can confirm there is only one "Avuz Goldenmountains". Splint somehow got a duplicate.

Come to that, there's only one "Avuz Goldenmountains" listed in his relations screen!

Spoiler: Something ver-r-r-y strange is going on here... (click to show/hide)

I just hope this doesn't mess up his prayertime.

[Splint]

"I WANNA PRAY TO AVUZ GOLDENMOUNTAINS!"

[Dude, you were just at the temple.]

"NOT THAT ONE. THE OTHER ONE."

[There isn't another one.]

"BUILD A SECOND TEMPLE REEEEE"

[Superdorf]

A week into winter, I am met with a surprising proposition.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A kangaroo person? Delighted by the sheer novelty of the thing, I accept without thinking.



Unfortunately, he's a pretty old little guy



so he's probably gonna up and die on me before long... but hey, it'll be fun to have him around for the time being! I'll try to give a decent retirement or a nice coffin or something. The place is called "Earthentomb", after al-- oh.

Oh.
Rolo came here to die.



I'm sad now.



In less depressing news... we have a wall!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

It's not all that impressive a wall. It's kinda puny, really. But it's a start, and I can use it as a base for all my above-ground quarters and magmaworks! That's gotta count for something, right?

...Right?
Perhaps heartened by Rolo's easy entry, a dwarfish poet attempts a petition of his own.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I'm sorry Erith, but you are not fuzzy or adorable and you do not sing. Go away.



Oh now he's crying.
Now I'm sad again.
Wot, another one?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Well, it's no kangaroo but... well, humans are pretty useful to have around a fort. I can always use more meatshields for the militia, especially non-cave-adaptable ones... fine, you stay.



Enjoy your two years of fleeting peace.
Seriously, how many of you are gonna do this?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Yes, fine, alright, you can go sing in the dining hole or whatever, just let me be. I'm trying to raise an empire here!



Another one!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Another one!

Well, I let him in.

Spoiler: He turns out to be pretty impressive. (click to show/hide)

Basic weapon competency, stats for days, missing toe... missing toe? Huh. Anyway. I'm thinking I've found a militia captain for one of my future squads. He shall lead his poetic brethren to glory and death!
Well, we've been able to get some work done in the meantime. Our smelters are online!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I bought lots-'n-lots of tetrahedrite at embark, so we're just gonna cook that for awhile. Trashy copper equipment for everyone!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: As the keep rises, the leaves turn green... (click to show/hide)

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[Splint]

Your copper offends me, but the swiftness of your magma work construction does not.

[Superdorf]

With spring comes elves.



Ayup, here they come now, with their pack animals and their wood-crafts and-- woah!



What kind of highfalutin caravan is this?!
Are the elves in this world so pathetic that they're having to give high-rankers the lowly work? Does the queen just really like merchanting?

Well, whatever the reason. Her Majesty here is just carting along the usual fruit-n'-nuts-n'-woodcraft-- nothing I actually particularly want-- so I'm just gonna let these two hang around on our nice fresh wooden trade depot until they get bored and leave. Maybe next time they'll think to bring something useful.



I doubt it.
There's a bear lurking around. Nix decides to go kill it.

Spoiler: It's not much of a fight. (click to show/hide)

Yeesh, tho... I have got to do something about that copper axe. That's just not gonna cut it when the gobboes show up!

"Cut it"?

'Cos it's an axe?

Geddit?

...

*sigh*

Spoiler: Some dwarf turns up begging to go kill things in the caverns. (click to show/hide)

I tell him we walled off the caverns, go away.

Spoiler: So another one comes. (click to show/hide)

I tell her to go away too.

Spoiler: Then a *bard* shows up. (click to show/hide)

I tell him to scram, and get on with my life.
Why does such a young fort get so many visitors? It's not like our tavern actually serves anything.
The tetrahedrite-cooking operation is yielding a lot of silver as byproduct. Ordinarily I'd make hammers with it, but I'm trying not to abuse weird quirks of DF physics this fort 'round, and silver is a trashy soft metal that doesn't belong in any self-respecting hammer shaft, so... let's make some trade goods!



I mean. Come to think of it. It's not like copper is really much better. Still.



Sooo y'know how I said I hate migrants?
Yeah we actually need these migrants. The backlog of stuff I want my dwarves to do is huge; we need all the hands we can get. This is a good thing.

Spoiler: We've got a *lot* of migrants, too. (click to show/hide)

Craftsdwarves! Warriors! Useless-peons-that-I've-arbitrarily-forced-to-be-warriors! Wonderful, wonderful minions!

Spoiler: Gleefully I dance about the military screen, filling squad after squad with hapless draftees... (click to show/hide)

By the time I'm done, Splint's got some underlings to school in the finer points of macework, and the rest of the militia's over tripled in size!

I just hope I can equip them all...




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[Splint]

Dear Overseer,

Your item puns cause me physical pain.

Captain Splint

[Superdorf]

My miners are idle.
It's time to give 'em something to do.

Spoiler: BEHOLD... MY MASTER PLAN (click to show/hide)

BEHOLD... THE VESSELS THROUGH WHICH LIVING FIRE SHALL FLOW
BEHOLD... THE VESSELS THAT SHALL DRINK DEEP FROM THE BEATING HEART OF THE EARTH
BEHOLD... THE VESSELS THAT SHALL CLEANSE THE LAND WITH THE BURNING OF MY FURY

AH
HAHA
AHHHAHAHAHA

...

*Ahem*

So. Here we have the preliminary layout for my magma-stacks! I'll be setting up the southeast one first, 'cos it bypasses the first cavern through a rock pillar so it'll be way quicker to do. Once that's online, I'll rig up a system to direct its output whereever's needed, then start on the others.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

This is gonna be fun.



Ooh! Ooh ooh! Time to start hauling goblets!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

And more goblets

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

And morrre goblets

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

We end up hauling over 25,000 dorfbucks' worth of goblets. With a bit of haggling, I manage to buy up nearly every scrap of weapon-grade metal the caravan has to offer.

Spoiler: Fodder for the meltworks! (click to show/hide)

Uh oh. Bear!

Spoiler: BEAR! (click to show/hide)

BEARRRRR


The bear gets kind of a nasty bite in on our good hammercaptain

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

so I send in Nix and her fellow fish-cleaners-with-axes to resolve the situation.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

They do so with aplomb.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Migrant day!



There's a couple with shoddy personality traits or nice skills or whatever I keep, but mostly I just draft everybody.

Spoiler: Our militia grows ever larger! (click to show/hide)

Heh
Heh-ha
Heh-hahaha
AHHAHAHA



YES
SHUT ALL METALWORK DOWN

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

ONLY THE STEEL SHALL BE TOUCHED

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

No
Wait

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Not the steel

Gold

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Solid gold

Yes

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Solid gold, with which to crush our enemies

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Yes

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

YES

Spoiler: AHAHAHAHAHA (click to show/hide)

HAha

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

ha

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Okay wait who is this "Cog Arrowbears" guy? Because that's a beautiful name. When I'm done with this fort, I'm gonna go make an adventurer, and I'm gonna ask everyone who "Cog Arrowbears" is, and I'm gonna find him, and I'm gonna throw arrows at him. And bears.

Mostly bears.

Because... because that's a beautiful name.
It really is.

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[Splint]

Oi, quit stealing Spearbreakers' bit ya mug peddler. 

[Superdorf]

Spoiler: Well this just takes the cake. (click to show/hide)

An entire troupe. They brought... an entire troupe.

Spoiler: And it's ALL POETS. (click to show/hide)

Seriously, why is our unfinished dining room suddenly the mediocre-poetry capital of the world?
But I let 'em in. It's an awful lot of mouths to feed, and we're moving dangerously quickly towards siege-threshold, but... they have a little kitty person!

Spoiler: A LITTLE KITTY PERSON! (click to show/hide)

How could I refuse something so absurdly adorable?


Welp, our friendly neighborhood spear-liaison is back.

Spoiler: Let the Grand Goblet Hauling commence! (click to show/hide)

Usual fortress life grinds to a halt as every free-handed dwarf rushes to haul the export...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

...which amounts to only around 19,000 dorfbucks. Not so much as last time, but enough to buy up the metal-n'-ore I ordered last year, and a bit of extra stuff to boot.



It'll do.
I'm disturbed from my thoughts of economy by an announcement of attack!



I dispatch Nix's axe squad to confront the beast.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Nix reaches the scene first...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

...and last. As it turns out, Nix alone is quite capable of putting any mere demibeast through a world of hurt!

After suffering punishment no mundane biped could survive...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

...the ettin exsanguinates under a relentless flurry of axe-strikes.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Nix leaves her enemy dead in a pool of its own blood. Her weapon and her training have served her well.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Migrant day!



I run personality checks, draft everybody and get on with things.



Sooner or later, the goblins are gonna realize I'm smuggling an entire village right past their trenches... for now tho, we're in the clear.
The pumpstack operation has hit... complications.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Which wouldn't really be such a big deal, if not for this guy.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I had to pop over to Wikipedia just to figure out what a nematode even is. As it turns out, "nematode" is the nice frilly scientific term for... a roundworm.

Ewwwwwwwwwww

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I elect to halt the diggings until our military's toughened up a bit. I'd rather not see anyone on the wrong end of that horrible, horrible stinger 'til I know for sure we can handle it.

I'll have to settle for lesser magma-projects in the meantime.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I badly need to start moving the magmaworks up topside. These minecarts will help me greatly with that.
Ahhh I forgot about cavern climbers

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

How did I forget about cavern climbers

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Troglodyte in the magma-stack

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Splint
Go kill it



...

Splint
I just wanted it dead
You didn't have to

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

paint the walls with it

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

...



Some weeks after Splint's little slaughterfest, I'm greeted by a most welcome message.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

We have land-holdings!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

It'll be nice to have a place to expel workers to, and to draw emergency labor from should we find ourselves in a really sticky situation! I just hope I can prepare rooms sufficient for a baron in time...
As the autumn draws to a close, I prepare plans for cart-hauling magma to a more convenient location

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

and consider an assault on Zanor the roundworm.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Somehow, Zaneg must be slain before we can continue our magma operations. Nix, Nord, and Besmar their underling are the only dwarves I deem sufficiently trained to safely contest the beast, but their bronze axes will make it difficult for them to hack through Zaneg's thick hide, and their copper armor is easily penetrated-- and for all I know, even a single good strike from that ungodly stinger could prove fatal!. I am thus reluctant to attempt an attack without... confirmation.

NRDL, NordicNooob: Will your dwarves take up arms against Zaneg the roundworm at this time?




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[NordicNooob]

I probably wouldn't, not yet. It's very likely an easy victory, but no point in taking unneeded risks. Perhaps you could trap it instead?

[Splint]

If my training is up to snuff, lemme smash. It's a nematode with a sting. Lemme smash it. I wanna squish it. Squish it dead.

EDIT: To clarify, if my training will permit smashing.

[Superdorf]

If my training is up to snuff, lemme smash. It's a nematode with a sting. Lemme smash it. I wanna squish it. Squish it dead.

EDIT: To clarify, if my training will permit smashing.

Spoiler: I'll let you be the judge of your own training. (click to show/hide)

You're no mace-lord, but you can hold your own in a fight. Mostly. Your macebuddies are only Proficient and Skilled in their weapons of choice, but they don't have to be the ones to come with you-- you could bring Besmar the Axe Lord instead, or even a couple of the many, many draftees... of course, most of the draftees are worse fighters than your macebuddies anyway.