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Author Topic: Port Fantastic - X-Piratez  (Read 12687 times)


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Re: Port Fantastic - X-Piratez
« Reply #30 on: August 31, 2019, 12:47:00 pm »

Does the X-Piratez mod really require actually training hands? That would explain a lot, especially why I suck this much in the later parts of the game.


Drones don't really scare me that much. They often go down after a single revolver shot, and their laser just tickles. The problem is that they fly so cover is worthless.

I know about shooting in CQC mechanics and I've used it to my advantage.

Dossier 4: Enemies at the Gate

Let's start with actually informing you guys about our research:

-Car thieves will sell us a cheap 2585 Volkswagen Golf that's missing only gravity stabilizers;
-Primitive weapons will diversify our arsenal with weapons that were outdated three millenia ago;
-Castaway gal may want to join our jolly crew after we feed her meat and moonshine;
-Craft weapons will allow us to arm our new cheap 2585 Volkswagen Golf with no gravity stabilizers;
-Apples are important for filling our coffers;
-Vodka is essential for learning the secrets of distilling apples into money.

The first mission for today is an academy outpost in Iron Tribe. They set it up on someone's farm, probably without asking for permission first. Seems like something they would do.

Oh yeah, I finally remembered to toss the old trash revolvers and replace them with brand new ones. This nurse helped us to test our fine gear and my shooting skills. While the revolvers are great, my skills leave a lot to be desired.

Happy and Jen got some of the academicians. Then I got scorched by a drone a bit, then got healed up by Rina who then shot the drone dead with her revolver.

The rest are moving forward, burninating the countryside in their wake. The poor Osirion pyjama boy got set on fire, then got a rubber slug from Chariot's shotgun which knocked him down.

Jen and Experience took down the medic, but at a price of Jen getting seriously wounded...

Scratch that, she's dead. That leaves Candice Nuts as the only human crewgirl in our hideout. Gotta get some more once we're able to train them properly.

Holy crap, that's a lot of points! Almost worth losing Jen, almost. Potatoes are completely useless so we've sold them all; leeks and wheat are very situationally useful, so we've sold most of them. We've also recovered a UAC carbine.

Oh, we've discovered this some time ago. Spiked knuckles are slightly slower than fistycuffs, but this is where the disadvantages end. The base damage is higher by one point, which doesn't make a big difference by itself. The spiked knuckles also have higher HP damage bonus, pierce armor better (but still not well), and cause heavy morale damage. I like those more than fistycuffs, but they still won't become the staple of our armory.

There were originally more gals like us, but they kinda missed the bus. They are still capable ubers, and they may join if they had hit their heads hard enough to forget that we had left them behind.

So we can finally get a 2585 Volkswagen Golf, but if we want to drift a real 2598 Toyota Sprinter we'll have to get in touch with Eurasian mafia rather than common thieves from eastern Blackmarch. Things be like that sometimes.

Spoiler: New crafts! (click to show/hide)

The gal we've saved from cockroaches a while ago is back on her feet and ready to rumble. Willful Kaos is brave and shooty, a really admirable gal. We'll get her a rifle once we find something better than the ramshackle one.

Got some human hands too. They are all horrible, but they don't want a lot of money.

Always good to have more options! Not that this research unlocks anything fantastic. Here we go, I'm not even gonna spoiler it:

A really scary dagger. On the first glance it looks like a regular dagger that has a bigger bonus from strength, but there are two differences under the hood: a slightly better armor penetration, and massive morale damage.

An upgraded bow; slower and less accurate, but with much better damage. Still not likely to kill anything in one shot.

And we're in Cali Republic, the land of great movie directors, unwashed hippies, and this single academy outpost. It's time to remove the last part of the title.
It appears that there's some kind of ruins in here. Maybe it's the ruins of Silicon Valley, named after all the sand lying around. If only there was someone willing to build an outpost around hear and do research...

I really thought Red Magician had rubber slugs, not buckshot. Well, we don't have much use of Osirion pyjama boys anyway.

Rose Quartz got shot and passed out. Before that happened, however, she managed to toss a grenade that did absolutely nothing. The gals killed a pyjama boy, a researcher and a medic, then Magician and dog ran in and murderized the remaining scientists.

Not much reward, Rose is badly injured, but at least rich degenerates from California remembered we exist.

Anyone up for killing ninjas? I'm not, but Lokk'narrs of Technocracy would be disappointed if we ignored their call for help. By disappointed I mean dead.

Gold Experience starting it strong. Actually it was Purple Hermit who first unloaded with her Tommy gun, but Experience finished off the ninja with her wakizashi. Ninja weapons work great against ninjas as it turns out. Then she tossed a grenade over the shed to at least weaken that other ninja.

The 'nade was enough. Then another ninja showed up and got hit with Star's sawed-off reaction fire. Then a lokk'narr farmer killed the ninja with a sickle.

I can't believe experience is dead! This is how dangerous sawed-off can be! She was rightly Tommy gunned to death.

Star just barely managed to subdue a ninja with a boarding gun. Serious danger dealt with, but apparently it's not the end.

The last ninja was standing behind the building Star was in, so Star dropped a Molotov on her. I still can't believe Experience is fucking dead from extreme lead poisoning.

We should be able to find some ammo stashes now that we've interrogated a highwayman and a ratman, and we also know about society we live in.

Good old Kosmoportovaya, an expensive brand of high-quality vodka, better for disinfecting wounds than drinking. The thing I like the most about it is the self-healing that bandages and medikits lack. No HP restoration is not ideal, although it does come in handy when patching up downed enemies. Again, we can't use it as a blunt weapon.

New swabbies! Ocra is good at shooting and throwing, has great stamina and reactions. Strength trains almost automatically, so that won't be a problem for long.

A million dollaro gal! All stats are from good to fantastic. She deserves the title of a bos'n.

Still waiting for Euchre Jill to arrive.

Tough girls are not very dangerous to our gals. They mostly appear as civilians in various missions, not even allying themselves with bandits unlike their male counterparts. They prefer small arms because, well, they are basically unruly civilians.

She told us about our home, Romanica. It's one of nicer places in the world, at least in between semi-annual civil wars. At least it's good to know Romans are always ready to forget their feuds and plot against Europeans, Blackmarchians and Thebans together.

Apples is forbidden in Academic establishment because it's a well-known weakness of doctors. Unfortunately it's not possible to obtain an apple concentrated enough to kill a doctor, but we can use them to make cider that's a major weakness of townsfolk who are willing to pay good money for it.

This is our first precision rifle. With no maximum range it can hit accurately as long as the sniper can see the target. Unfortunately this gun had been designed for shooting rats, not even mutated ones. Though it probably could reliably kill a giant rat.

Sloooooow end of the month. UAC carbine is half-way between a rifle and an SMG, though not really, because its auto-fire leaves a lot to be desired. It does have 30 tile aimed shot accuracy. It's also really fast in snap and auto. The downfall of the UAC carbine is its ammo - the spraygun ammo is on par with niners and weaker than revolvers.

Yarr harr! We be loved by friends, feared by foes on all seven seas!

Back to research. The medics are an unpleasant bunch, actually trained in manhandling mutants and well equipped for this. It's better to have a strong gal whack one with a ball bat than try shooting her with early game guns.

The good stuff, invented by an entity known as CIA in the olden times. It's a good way to get morale up, but the gal will spend some time in the hospital after that.

Well, that would explain why the stun batons weren't very effective - it gets bonus damage only from reactions, and not much of it to boot. I simply don't like this weapon, no offense to its fans.

Oh, we've interrupted a genocide. In Ghostgates again. Fantasticular. It's a bandit pogrom, so there are armored cars that we literally can't destroy right now. What do we do when we get sent on a mission we can't win?

We kill a boodhound and take its corpse home so we can have a decent meal for once.

Yeah, yeah. At least Kaos got a whopping 15 stamina increase.

This research has opened up a few missions that will not only get us infamy, but also a chance to get new equipment from our new partners:

Spoiler: Our new partners (click to show/hide)

I've never used plantations, probably because I never managed to keep more than one base. I see how they can be useful, especially boomfruit plantations, but 2x2 facilities? Bad vibes.

Don't wanna sound racist or anything, but the agrbage heaps those disgusting filthy ratmen call villages are bad vibes too. This one ratman brigand's got a set of Fuso knives, or ninja stingers; absolutely deadly, just not from this distance. Ocra actually managed to snipe him with her revolver, but that didn't hill nor caused any fatal wounds.

I love when a potential danger in a bastard spot goes down easily instead of hiding for the entire mission.

Got another one! Ratmen would be much more effective if they remembered to close the door. Better not give them any ideas, because finding them would be much harder.

Ocra is already becoming an invaluable member of our crew! She's not strong enough to carry real weapons, though she's doing great with a six-shooter and a dagger.

Rina and Happy are setting up an ambush. The ratman's got an ol' carbine and no melee weapon.

Turns out there were two ratmen in there.The one from before met his end by the blade of Rina's cutlass. The new one, a real rat pirate, got his skull cracked by Happy's ball bat. Good thing we don't use the bats for their intended purpose.

Candice has found a ton of apples! There was a ratman brigand in there too, but nothing a javelin can't fix.

I've caught the Giant Rat who makes all of the rules! I wonder what kind of trouble he was going to get himself into. Well, now he's got himself into involuntary CBT session.

This was a bad situation if I ever saw one. Rina got badly wounded and she had no chance to hit with her gun and I had no intention of taking risk with melee. She unpinned the 'nade and dropped it under her feet, then skedaddled away.

Rina is gonna spend months in the infirmary, that's for sure.
We've recovered 66 apples, an SMG, a guard dog and a ratman boss. Plenty of research to be done.

Hoes think they're all that but they ain't. We've already established that they CAN be dangerous if they overwhelm us with their numbers. Otherwise they are easily dealt with, preferably by strangling. Strangling hookers is a neat life hack, almost an infinite money hack, but let's not get into that just now.

That's nice. Atom beer is weaker and has less uses than moonshine, but it deals less stun damage and is lighter and faster to chug.

What chief brainer means is that we need to keep doing stuff - researching, producing and raiding. It's not like we're standing still, though I understand that the progress isn't very fast.

THE sword for hands with completely atrophied muscles. Lightweight, moderately strong and pretty accurate, it's a solid weapon for every gal with at least decent melee. The additional bonuses from reactions and voodoo power are a neat bonus. The drawback? No additional effects like stun or morale damage. That and the fact that we need special contact to buy them.

Hi-Res radar is our standard looking device. It allows us to keep an eye on the neighborhood without leaving home. How convenient!

Dogs are completely obsolete in the age of bloodhounds and reapers, but I guess some people, us included, still use them for nefarious purposes. We've captured a dog live in the last ratman rodeo, which granted us some notoriety. People like pirates who treat animals right, even if it means beating them with sticks to forcibly bring them to their base.

Short-range, weak, sorta fast, drains morale, requires proverbial balls to operate well, penetrates armor. I see no reason to actually use this because other weapons fulfill its role of a close-range peashooter better.

Shamblers in the Himalayas, which is hardly surprising all things considered. At this point in the game we need a good strategy for such fearsome prey.

Overwhelming strength, fire, explosives; this is how pirates hunt wild beasts.

There are always two shamblers on these mission. The first one is standing on Happy's grenade right now, the other one is far away, but we've got contact.

One down. As some of the most savage beasts shamblers don't panic when set on fire; instead they take huge amounts of damage because they happen to be flammable.

The other shambler fell to our Skorpions as well, but it didn't have time to burn before we brought it back alive. We'll never get to use war shamblers, however skinning live animals somehow yields more resources. Maybe that has something to do with dead animals usually being more heavily damaged, but it's not always the case here, is it?

Another try at raiding a brothel. This time we won't be swarmed by hookers, I promise.

A good start as far as they go. Ocra took down the tough guy with her Tommy gun.

Storming in, we were stopped by the hoe squad. One of them got whacked on the head with a ball bat by Scurvy Sin, then strangled into submission by happy.

Platinum Star is going through the back door as god intended instead of running through the front door like a madwoman. She got a weird mumbling crackhead to take a break with a ball bat.

Shit, an ambush! What shall Star do?

She's blasted a kid with her shotgun and tried to do the same with a hooker. Now she's not only badly wounded but also surrounded by a hoe and a tough guy, with the dog hopefuly acting as a distraction.

Scurvy was too late to save Star, but not too late to avenge her.

Happy is infiltrating the brothel while Scurvy is standing over the still warm body of a tough guy. She got shot and healed herself with vodka.

The gals have been killing kids that have been hiding around outside somehow. Hoes mad all around the house. Dog found the head honcho. We may be nearing the end here.

I was right. Dog straight up mauled the highwayman causing the remaining hooker to come out with her hands in the air. People usually don't agree with my stance on strangling hookers, so no wonder the score was bad. Losing Star was also a factor, and I sure hope the castaway gal is gonna be a good one.

Osirion pyjama boys are the lowest ranking members of Osirion - the organization closely allied with the Academy, mostly providing protection and sometimes offensive support during operations. Yeomen (yeomans?) are melee fighters, even though I've never ever seen them engage in melee combat. Apparently once a yeoman gets promoted to security member, he stops training and gets out of practice fast, losing his melee combat abilities.

Furries have been around since ancient times. Egyptians worshipped them, Greeks feared them, Americans made them jump around spastically while buff dudes tackled each other over an egg-shaped object. The point is, after Star Gods took over, the furries started multiplying like crazy since monthly cullings stopped. Some, like wolfmen, pigmen and apemen attracted the attention of aliens, while some went feral and once again became a real danger to civilization.

Some people consider catgirls to be an offshoot of furries, but those people are wrong. Catgirls were created in the 2020s, shortly after the conquest, by a mad billionaire (the founder of the X-Com project) to be perfect housepets. These days most are feral, staying away from human and mutant communities.

We've already established that ubers are superior to purebloods in every way except that pesky hellerium dependence. Night vision is not much help, although experienced players may disagree. I like seeing my enemies, and it seems like they know our location regardless of vision  range.

A laborer has told us about the green stuff. No, the other green stuff. Sectoweed can't be used directly, but it can be used for manufacturing a few funky items, including a neat slave armor.

This was the gal we've rescued from the brothel in Thebes. I know Euchre Jill was supposed to have high reactions, but I'd forget. She's an amazing stabba with great melee and TUs. Stamina could be higher, but you can't have everything.

Ah crap... This is an almost scripted raid; almost because it could have been avoided by capturing a landed ambulance and researching a hideout search order. Welp, it's just a bunch of nurses, no problem.

I say that, but the only people in the hideout are untraind peasants: Jenny Talia, Rose Quartz and Barb Aryan, and a whole bunch of dogs. The rest are either wounded or out following the very same ambulance that brought the academists here.

Human gals with pointy sticks are still nothing to sneeze at, even if uber gals with big guns would be even less to sneeze at.

Don't underestimate a pack of dogs, even if you're packing heat. Their bite is extremely accurate and powerful enough to kill a nurse, and what's more, I don't care bout their well-being.

The drone hovering through the ducts was a pain in the ass. I mostly used doggos as a distraction while I tried to get the girls into the place. Rose got reaction-fired or rather reaction-fried, then finally barb destroyed the damn thing with a sawed-off shotgun.

Port Fantastic was saved.

Cheeky little gun overview before we finish. The Blackmarch pistol's main gimmick is its speed. Snap and auto are very accurate, but aimed not so much. It seems like a gun you want to use to put a lot of bullets in someone from a short range. Of course it would be foolish to try that on someone with any kind of body armor, because the damage is poor to say the least. It's nice, but not really what I'm looking for.

We've finally managed to save a gal from a brothel at the cost of losing Platinum Star; we've made contact with Jack, Zaxx and Saya; we've defended our base using only three peasants and a pack of dogs. I'd say it was an eventful update.

Rince Wind

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Re: Port Fantastic - X-Piratez
« Reply #31 on: August 31, 2019, 03:39:42 pm »

I kinda like the blackmarch pistol for its low weight and large magazine.
Good for lokks, weak hands and reaction training. I don't like them enough that I'd buy ammo for them normally, but usually you find enough.

Of course, they are not Kustom Handcannons or Smartpistols ...


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Re: Port Fantastic - X-Piratez
« Reply #32 on: August 31, 2019, 07:03:24 pm »

I love my Gal.  I would consider her reactions decent (anything over 50 would be considered good, and she's at 50).  I hope she does a lot of damage!
I think the word you were looking for is "monster".

Darkening Kaos

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Re: Port Fantastic - X-Piratez
« Reply #33 on: August 31, 2019, 07:32:40 pm »

     Awesome Let's get the ‼piratin‼ underway‼
So! Failed to make peace, war looms, kill the infidels... what are our plans for the weekend?
The Giant Moles in the caverns of my current fort breed like crazy, even while regularly being decimated by other beasts entering them...


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Re: Port Fantastic - X-Piratez
« Reply #34 on: September 03, 2019, 11:05:41 am »

I kinda like the blackmarch pistol for its low weight and large magazine.
Good for lokks, weak hands and reaction training. I don't like them enough that I'd buy ammo for them normally, but usually you find enough.

Of course, they are not Kustom Handcannons or Smartpistols ...

I like guns that you don't have to buy ammo for even if you're using them excessively. Niners are another exmple. Though I generally prefer weapons that are actually worth their value in money or materials.

Dossier 5: X-Mega! Serect your Cawdex!

Let's start this update with some new gals. The base raid has taught me a lesson - always have spares.

Not very fast but decently accurate and very powerful, the Manstopper looks like a next-tier weapon compared to most things we have now. There is something to it, because to buy them we'd have to establish contact with the Gun Emporium, and for that we need to research a lot of early-game guns. Because of that I rarely got to use the Manstopper.

Due to the world having turned upside-down a few centuries ago, it's often the gubment that finds itself threaded on these days. We're intervening in another one of such events. We're down to the slums of Fuso to "rescue" agents who got themselves got by quarterback gorillas. Or dogs.

It's not that peasants are naturally good at throwing, it's just the hunter outfit that forces me to give them javelins. Annie May and Candice Nuts spill the first blood in this "rescue" mission by throwing their pointy sticks at the baller.

Best. Weapon.

Decent. Weapon. Also first kill for Hierophant. She'll go far, I'll make sure of that. Inb4 jokered with a crowbar.

Probably the most interesting screen right now. The final baller was sliced into pieces by Jill's sudoku blade. She hasn't got any reactions or melee out of that, but 10 stamina is also nice for the start.

We piratez be like them hydras - we reproduce by budding. Three new peasants to replace poor Rose Quartz. I hope Dee dies a horrible death.

I've never encountered any trouble with camouflaged ninja gals, so the problem exists on paper rather than in reality.
Ninjas fortunately don't employ the dreaded ninja stinger that took many lives in the distant past. Acyually their arsenal is quite piratey if you think about it. Could this be that they used to be piratez and converted to ninjaism after they learned we're stealing their gimmick? Seems likely to me.

[Everything that matters is covered, but I'm not taking any risks]

Ninjas also hold Weirdness as one of their core values, it seems. V. power, heh heh. By the way, sudoku blade damage bonus relies a bit on voodoo power, meaning that scantly-clad gals will have a better time cutting off limbs than those wearing respectable clothes.

Ratmen lieutenants have fancier guns than the rest, and know how to use them. That doesn't mean they are a high threat, of course, as they lack armor just as much as regular ratmen. If they were ubers or even purebloods they might have been dangerous, but unfortunately for them, they got the shorter end of the mutation stick.

They do know a lot about treasure though. Sapphires are a type of corundum with impurities that give it a blue coloration. They are worth a ton, which is probably more important.

Fire. As we've already established, fire is mainly for directly damaging enemy morale and easily killing flammable monsters such as shamblers and reapers. It's best delivered in the form of an incendiary grenade, but also comes as arrows, cannonballs and convenient bottles.

This little thing is the first sniping weapon that deals actual damage while being reliably accurate, unlike the varmint rifle and ramshackle rifle. It's not much damage still.

Data discs are fun and contain everything from vital data to useless tips. Most of what's on the discs can be gained from alternative sources such as interrogations.

The research project also tells us to seek knowledge in all places. My favorite weapons to this point were paleolithic-level technologically, so I don't think knowing a lot is really all that necessary. We'll follow the instructions though, even if begrudgingly.

Well, that should prevent any further scripted base raids. Dr. X is not happy with her underlings, but she should seriously blame her higher-ups for not allocating any funds for arming the search crews.

D-b shotgun is the big brother of the sawed-off shotgun. The same devastating power combined with greater range and medium-range aimed shot function make it extremely dangerous in hands of pretty much everyone. The main drawbacks are its weight and capacity of two shells.

Action! Pesky ninjas are attacking a peaceful Lokk'narr village near Jerusalem. Dog killed one immediately, but the gals will stay in the Airbus for the rest of the turn.

Our new toy, the pyro cannonball, fired by Kaos from the assault cannon destroyed half of the farm, but somehow didn't even touch a single goblin. The ninja gal got knocked out cold, or rather pretty toasty.

The enemy is in a bastard spot? Make your own way to the enemy. Candice's grenade made an opening so the dog could run in and maul the ninja.

I'm rediscovering explosion magic once again; it feels great! We might have hit a gobbo after all, but this was Green Hierophant's grenade rather than Kaos's cannonball.

Yarr harr, we be dealin' with real piratey stuff here! I don't really really like regular cannonballs though, as they lack the explosive factor I'm so much into. The research unlocked two other weapons that aren't cannons though:

The X-bow is pretty much a light heavy weapon in that it requires some setting up before shooting. That's the price you pay to shoot a weapon that's strong, accurate and pierces armor. It works well underwater, at least against deep ones and smaller enemies.

The X-bow's big cousin is simillar to the cannon in many ways, though it's a proper heavy weapon that you need to kneel to use effectively. It's deadly even underwater and shoots arcing shots very much like a bow. Accuracy depending on bravery is not cool though.

A temple in Canadian slums. Killer Queen was hit three times with the savvy girl's Manstopper, but suffered only minor damage. In return she hit the woman with a stun dart.

Euchre Jill went down the hill to fetch a pail of gas.
There was a kid in front of her; she shot him in the ass.

Okay, she was out ther to scout for danger, not for gas, but she did get the kid.

Meanwhile Kaos and Hierophant are chasing an armed sharp guy who's hiding behind the building here. He was the one who vandalised the house which most likely isn't his. Time to teach him a lesson in violence, stun darts and rubber slugs.

Jill is on fire this mission, hitting bastards left, right, center. The neophyte is carrying a heavy shotty, a weapon that's perfect for defending temples against uber raiders such as us.

Also, I should mention I feel betrayed by the game. The area was supposed to be freezing cold, thus the fur coats, but it's actually quite pleasant. Not that it makes much difference on such an easy mission.

You go, dog!

Oh, a kid with a shotgun killed the dog. Welp, at least the boy tasted Killer Queen's Sheer Heart Attack stun darts soon after that.

The kid with a babby pistol is very troublesome right now. He took two rubber slugs like a champ and doesn't look like he's gonna go to sleep anytime soon. Meanwhile Crazy Diamond has been covering the temple-side, killing a neophyte with her blackmarch pistol. Gotta say, I can see the appeal of this gun, even if it took four shots to kill an unarmored enemy.

We've got the priest cornered. It's just the matter of a few well-placed shots.

It wasn't as simple as it seemed. I forgot about a single church maiden whom I ended up chasing for god knows how long. At least the gals got some of that valuable bravery and stamina.

Blackops corporation sounds oddly familliar... Either way, these mags are a good way to learn about cool toys we will or won't get to use.

This issue is about the elusive Blackmarch SMG, rarely sold outside of Blackmarch. Its accuracy, speed and range make it stand out from the rest of SMG we know about, but it's not very shooty. Only three shots in autofire and one shot in snap.

Speaking of Blackmarch, we're in one of the famous Blackmarchian swamps, bringing down a watchtower. What a relief that we've landed so close to the tower. It would suck walking through a maze of water across the entire map.

First kill for Dee Spacito. She used her spear as a makeshift CBT device, severing tendons and whatnot. Wait, are we even fighting men this time? Would be awkward to use those methods on a woman.

Which joker said that reactions were hard to train? Some baton swinging and the gals' hands are getting used to the good work. By good work I mean stabbing and shooting fast.

No time to fool around; we're immediately heading off to the North to shut down an Academy outpost. Free healthcare comes with a cost in the Kingdom of Canada, and I believe no Canadian should be forced to pay it. No, I'm not talking about taxes, though everything I've said also applies to that.

I know exactly what this means, and THAT means we need to get out of here quick! I've even caught a glimpse of the chryssalid.

We've got home to hear that the brainers have finished designing gym suits for our gals. The gym suit really is a direct improvement over the sailor suit. In addition to stamina and TUs it also grants the wearer a nice bonus to throwing. There doesn't seem to be any combat stress reduction though.

A gal got stranded somewhere in the wilderness between Romanica and Blackmarch. The highwaymen seem to be behind that, and they definitely are behind Green Hierophant getting shot with a flintlock pistol as soon as she peeked out from behind the bus.

Kaos did a great job sniping both of them with her trash gun. That's the bulk of the enemy force taken down.

The last highwayman got hit with an incendiary round from a Skorpion, then he dropped his revolver and started crying for his mommy.

Ah, a fine dining establishment where the gals can talk about their day while shoveling soylent and bloodhound meat down their throat. This is a lab-type building that unlocks research topics of social kind. We need this.

Fuck you, Ghostgates. You made a laughing stock of yourself when you failed to become a superpower by 2020, now you're risking that again. Can't you be grateful for what I do for you instead of complaining that bandits and nazis keep genociding your mutants?

To become a priest you have to be loyal, unwavering in your faith, and able to read with some proficiency. Helps to be buff in case altar boys and shrine maidens get rebellious. Oh, they also protect their temples, so strength may come in handy for that.

Priests handle donations and "donations", so it helps to know a bit about treasures. Topaz is usually depicted as bright yellow, a depiction probably popularized by Diablo series. In reality it can be pretty much any color.

Academy outpost take 2, this time with no chryssalids. Kaos easily knocked down the drone with her carbine.

Due to liberal use of the Cross Fire Hurricane Skorpion by Red Magician, the lab's tower is on fire. There's a researcher with a UAC carbine inside, and she's causing grief for Kaos who can't land a shot good enough to kill her.

We can finally get in. Dee skewered a researcher not once but twice, then Crazy Diamond has brutalized the nurse with her Manstopper.

We're inside thanks to Magician's strong arm and ball bat. Both the medic and the reseacher were armed with lethal weapons.

I haven't made a screenshot, but we've finished in style, stabbing a pyjama boy with a spear. Kaos got 3 shooting from this mission.

I knew a dude who was in the second year of middle school at the age of 18 because he had hard time grasping concepts that even some animals can understand. He would hoot and holler at kids to assert his dominance like an ape, and draw on the walls with a sharpie to mark his territory. Why am I telling this story? B-boys are just like that guy, but instead of going to jail for selling drugs, they get their skulls fractured by giant women in skimpy costumes.

These kids are at the bottom of the bandit food chain, meaning that they don't get good weapons and don't participate in fun missions. While highwaymen get to act as bodyguards in the meetings between local bandit bosses and the ratman mafia, a b-boy is lucky to get sent selling crack instead of jerking off drifters who got bored of hookers.

This b-boy was either really into aircars or even got to fly one of these, as a passenger of course. Wasps aren't high-end vehicles in any way, being good enough to take down civilian transports at best. I guess they can also serve as light transporters for highwaymen.

We seem to have accumulated a lot of ninja badges. These can be exchanged for Jack's bounty tokens, 300 of them in this case. We need 500 for Confederate gear, as I'm not really interested in the Silver Snake.

I know I'm not supposed to fill the barracks like this, but High Priestess needed a home. How could I leave her on her own after rescuing her from highwaymen?

The only good animal is a useful animal, and most of them are useful only when butchered. While meat isn't really the most valuable resource, fur and other parts may sell for a lot, or even serve as rare crafting components.

Factions are sneaky ones, often striking from behind. If we've got our backs against a wall, they will do anything to move the wall just to strike us in the tush. It's not as fun as it sounds, because it's our money that's at the stake. That's what the gubment agent told us, at least.

Huh, I thought the hellerium charm restored morale/reduced combat stress, but apparently I was wrong and it's not that good. Still, it's the first protection equipment type item. It works passively while hidden in the inventory. No idea why the charm works on humans, but okay.

Incendiary grenades are like molotovs but better - they have potentially infinite range and the cost of throwing them is standard 30 TUs. Also, even when a gal accidentally drops it under her feet, she can either run away or pick it up instead of getting toasty.

Savvy gals are civilians, sometimes armed, sometimes not. While they aren't a part of high society, they sometimes work for the factions, protecting churches or working in Guild warehouses.

This one knows about smugglers and their operations. Pretty much everyone has a reason to dislike smugglers - Star Gods don't want people getting around their regulations; the Guild isn't fond of losing money; Megapol is against breaking the imperial law; the gov'ts don't like when bandits run around the countryside with advanced weaponry. I don't like the fact that they are richer than us.

Hmm... I wonder who got scammed so bad that Jack had to get involved... I wish Jack could give us just a bit more info... big hmm...

We're in some city in west Asian No Man's Land. This is apparently where sharp guys like to hide with their bitchboys. Speaking of bitchboys, our dog has already ripped one of them to shreds.

There goes the sharp guy, beaten into submission by Magician.

High Priestess is not messing around. Instead of taking a chance of shooting the b-boy out there, she aimed at an explosive barrel that caused the kid to turn into grilled mincemeat.

Time to round up the mooks. The tough guy made a mistake of showing himself through the window, so naturally Magician ran up there and whacked him hard. The kid downstairs got some lead in him from a long distance - Kaos is overlooking the whole place from the bus, and her range is infinite.

I hate the fact that Dee Spacito isn't dead yet and, what's more, she's killed quite a few people with her spear. Another victim disposed of.

A good 225 points, plus great stat gains. Kaos, Priestess and Dee got yooge boosts to their stamina. Strength all over the board is great too.

This was a huge research topic, and I don't mean it was intellectually demanding. It opened loads of research topics and unlocked tons of weapons. Without further ado:

Spoiler: No ado whatsoever (click to show/hide)

Recon expeditions are garbage. They take a lot of space, cost a lot of money, and only give fluff about countries - comething that we can get by capturing low-level enemies such as tough guys.

Hunts are a fun way to train shooting AND get some money while at that. They can also put as in danger of meeting other hunters, which depending on circumstances may or may not turn out to be a good thing.

The good thing right now is that we've managed to sneak up to a landed ship. I believe it's the first time we're dealing with the Trader's Guild too, so that's also exciting.

Great start once again. First, dog ran up to the guy that was peeping through the windshield. The guy could have got a sneaky shot in; ship windows are not opaque anymore. Red magician stabbed a security dude with her cutlass, and the burning fellow down there is High Priestess's victim.

Now that's a sneaky bastitch. He hit dog with his stun dart, putting it to sleep. Magician will not stand for this.

The door was guarded by a G.O. who was swiftly skewered with Dee's spear. And we're in! Now to deal with those two.

Hopefuly this will be enough. The G.O. fell to Priestess's sudoku sword, and the security guy got his morale attacked directly with Kaos's Molotov. Just to be sure I put Priestess by the burning guy so she blocks any potential shots. He's packing a Blackmarch SMG, so it would be a shame if he got to hit someone.

There was another security dude on fire, but I felt he wasn't worth mentioning. Does someone have any doubt that Skorpion is a real game changer? Anyway, we've recovered some valuable stuff - ship engine and slave AI, and some new weapons - assault pistol, assault rifle, and craft cannons.

Sharp guys; they mostly appear as civilians in various missions, unless it's a crackhouse. They really are worth quite a lot, so they are good for capturing.

Death Realms is Australia, not even affected by the nuclear wars or alien aggression. At some point Australians realized the apocalypse had already happened around the world, so they went all Mad Max. Then gas ran out, so they had to settle down again. You know what happens when you force millions of post-apocalyptic raiders in gimp suits into four overcrowded cities? Death Realms is what happens. Our sharp guy must have been a fan of Death Games.

The menacing hull does nothing but attracts scrappers right now. Instead of letting it rust away, we could technically patch all the holes, fiddle with the engine, wipe off ratman blood, and it should fly again.

It doesn't look like a cockroach at all, but sure. These buggers are decently armored from the sides, and have a lot of resistances including ones to common damage types like piercing or cutting. They are easy to kill with fire.

The assault pistol is a respectable weapon, though it's nothing very special. It's accuracy is surpassed by stronger guns such as the six-shooter and the Manstopper. It's really fast in snap shot, which is why it's an assault pistol. I don't know, I prefer shotguns and SMGs as close-range weapons, and pistols as mid-range guns or even sidearms for melee gals; six-shooter is better for those functions still.

Poor assault pistol just can't get a break. A polished ol' niner is both faster and more accurate, with range greater by one tile. It's not the strongest around, but very reliable.

We've landed next to a bandit ship of some kind. It's not regular bandits, though, but Spartans, a paramillitary group of purebloods with nothing better to do than harrassing innocent people. Barb Aryan threw a javelin at one of those chumps, elliminating him for good.

Nah, the Spartans are just too good for a team that is two third spear chuckers, and one fifth dog. Red Magician is gonna spend a long time in the infirmary.

Shall we? It may be too early for this, mostly because we can't build a lot yet, but once enemies start building secret bases we'll have hard time keeping our extra bases up.

Southeast Asian jungle, a temple of Sirius. It's really just about money, no hard feelings.
The menacing savvy girl with a pistol immediately fell to Killer Queen's stun dart. For a runna she's doing a lot of gunnin'. She's a run'n'gunna.

Dee Spacito is feeling daring today. She ran into the temple and stabbed a neophyte through the heart and she's to blame while three men, actually two men and a kid, were pointing their guns at her.

I don't use harpoon guns nearly enough. Both Kaos and Queen are taking down man after man with their darts.

The altar boy shot Hierophant so bad that she fell unconscious and it took a whole bottle of vodka to patch her up. As revenge Killer Queen unleashed Sheer Heart Attack a Molotov's cocktail.

This is kinda infuriating, it's gotta be said. The drifter punched Dee into unconsciousness, then a neophyte showed up trying to sneak up on us. Fortuantely Killer Queen had a Skorpion in her gym suit. Then she roundhouse-kicked the drifter in the head, but the bastard took it like it's crack.

Uh-oh! Dixie Normous is in big danger! She snuck in through the back entrance and threw a javelin at the shotgun-wielding priest. He can easily blast her now, and there's nothing I can do about it.

The priest actually walked up to Dixie to slam her on the temple, which was better than packing her full of lead. He did, however, kill the dog that ran into the temple to maul an altar boy.

Ugh, humanists... At least they're not sacking Ghostgates again. Who's up to kill some klansmen in Astral Bridge, Central Province?

Ey, where da pureblood men at? There are apartment buildings here, which doesn't exactly fill me with joy.

Saya said something about not leaving anyone alive, but she doesn't need to know how many people were here at the first place. We could use some of this guy's knowledge, which I don't expect to be deep.

Good thing Hermit turned around, or else the klansman would do some choking on Scurvy. Now the guy's lost a few teeth due to improper use of the ball bat.

The search for the last humanist has been concluded. Ocra, frustrated that she couldn't get a good shot with her Tommy, dropped the gun and kicked the guy in the face.

Ultimately we haven't killed a single humanist. How will I explain it to Saya?

Maybe we'll make it up for her by saving a mutant district of Wraithbane, a city in the No-Man's-Land?

It's a zombieman! I haven't had a demon pogrom yet, so I have no idea what to expect. It's way too early to be fighting cacodemons and barons of hell, but we might expect imps and pinkies.
You know what? I think we could do quite well if not for the goddamn jungle village map. Let's bail.

Good. Next time think twice before tapping into that sweet, sweet argent energy. Hellerium is healthier for you anyway.

This is one of those guys who gets out of his car when you honk at him after he cuts you off on the intersection, effectively stopping the traffic to threaten you with a baseball bat for something that was his fault. He wears baggy pants because he skips leg days and is ashamed of looking like a stick-legged abomination.
These dudes are either civies or hang out with bandits.

The tough guy knows that the gubments are capricious entities that will thread on you as soon as you lower your yellow-and-black flag. Remember, a fed cries out in pain as he threads on you.

Like those Guild chumps thread on somebody's farm. It's another landed runabout that we can easily grab.

I'm not saying that the sudoku sword is the best sword, but it's the best sword. That or Hermit is just that good. Either way we can get in the ship and discover...

Nothing. Aww man, I was hoping that Meg would finally get her first kill.

Believe it or not, but I completely messed up the last screenshots. Hermit killed a problematic guy with an assault machine gun, then we took the runabout apart.

We've researched a tiny little crosshair we took from a shrp guy. Apparently this is something people use to signify they are Jack's enemies. Weird flex, but okay. We'll show it to Jack and ask him if he could get us some confederate gear.

A covert mission from Zaxx! Elfman Bro$ sound like scumbags indeed; they probably have pointy ears and all those disgusting features. If we don't hurry the elves will also have the coins that Zaxx needs for his collection.

Hey guys, look at my latest impulse purchase! We can only use stolen guns and ammo, but I wouldn't put anything expensive on this pile of junk. Sure, it's not hard to find a Volkswagen Golf gravity stabilizer on the net, but the seller could have done that instead of making us haul ass.

We're raiding the temple allied with elve$. It's in some disgusting slums, and its defenders have a fondness for double-barreled shotguns. I know we shouldn't be killing misguided civilians, but when they hide from us in bastard spots, we make bastard moves.

See? This tough guy was not in a bastard spot, so he suffered a major concussion instead of fiery death.

Shit, Candice Nuts is dead! Our best peasant gal! Revenge time!

Two shots, two jokers deaded. Ocra doesn't fool around.

I haven't mentioned that, but we haven't seen the temple. Probably because there's no temple and the priest is hanging out on some building's roof. Zaxx must have damn good informants to find a guy in a place like this. The problem is that it's a bastard spot where the priest can shoot us and we can't shoot him.

It was a bit fiddly, but we've set him on fire and can take him down.

What-fucking-ever. What counts is that we've collected the kerns Zaxx requested, and Killer Queen got 11 stamina.

How about we genoside some men of rat variety? This one was doing the guard duty which was cut short when Scurvy Sin hit him with a Skorpion round. Good for him that he died immediately from a single shot.

Double-window trickshot straight into the ratman's heart, my speciality. Chariot's speciality rather. Weird how she's holding her spear out like this while shooting. Maybe she's worried cavalry's gonna arrive? God, I hope not; we don't even have frag grenades yet!

It was a ratman mission, what else can I say? Maybe that Killer Queen got severely wounded by a brigand with an X-bow?

Yea boi, that's what I was waiting for the entire time! Peasants don't have to run around lost like something that runs around lost. If only Candice could see this. Militia training improves certain stats, but more about it when we actually get to it.

New kind of missions just got unlocked. Warehouse raids are not very lucrative, but they're not too difficult either. With some fast gals you can do nice combos in those missions.

The drill goes into the port, and that's how babby is formed. Is it the case with all mutant strains? Bugeyes are infertile, and lamias may or may not lay eggs, so probably not. I don't know where doing way instain mother fits into this though. And the destruction of energies? And codices? I've had sex ed in middle school, but I don't believe that was covered. Maybe it's college level stuff? I'm a pirate queen, you can't expect me to have higher education!

This is a point where we should make a decision, though I'd like to do that at the end, and we still have some loose ends to tie up in this update.

+10 stat increase is always good, especially for human hands who start very low and improve very slowly. For a low price and two weeks of recuperation, we can train up peasants to be somewhat more useful in battle. Right now only Meg Atron and Jenny Talia qualify for this, because the rest is still resting.

The quarterstaff is a spear-type weapon for stunning. It comes with peasant militia research, so it's probably meant to be a weapon for peasants. A multitude of skills come into play with this glorified stick, which is not as bad as it seems, because...

...the new form of armor grants bonuses to everything. It also provides some armor, although not as tough as uber skin. Finally, the peasants no longer have to walk around with their taddies out, so we don't have to worry about that pesky extra combat stress from hunter clothes; even better, it grants bonus XP like sailor and gym clothes.

Now let's talk about the decision we're about to make. There are four insert ports that create four codices, but we can choose only one. Each codex grants different boons, some of which are insignificant, some game-changing. Some are immediate, some show their power much later into the game.

The gray codex is for those who seek the power of the mind; domination through mystical forces, not steel and fire. Not saying that explosion's aren't magical, it's just some things are more magical than others. What we get for free from this is knowledge.
I gotta say, I'm not a big fan of this codex's special weapon. It uses commercially available missiles and converts them into unavoidable balls of destruction that hit from extreme range. Sounds good? Maybe, but we're talking about the extremely expensive Seagull Missiles.

The gold codex is... special? It grants riches right out the bat, and grants an outfit that is a detriment to gals who don't have incredibly high bravery.
This codex's gun is a huge cannon that burns hellerium fast. Of course shooting hellerium into the air for a chance of hitting something is not ideal.

The red codex is for those who believe in peace through superior firepower - if you kill your enemies they won't be able to do the same to you. I don't really like the freebies though - a few guns and sets of armors that aren't far away on the tech tree.
The unique weapon here is a rocket launcher that shoots cheap spike rockets better than the regular spike launcher, which I'm really into.

The green codex keeps gals alive in those dangerous times. And if not alive, at least with much more Monster-flavored Jell-O all over them. It gives us heals and extra hands, plus a handy nurse outfit.
Its weapon is a short-range laser that can shoot infinitely, which is a sure way to take down unarmed crafts without fail.

Only one of those can be chosen, so let's choose wisely.


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Re: Port Fantastic - X-Piratez
« Reply #35 on: September 03, 2019, 12:54:18 pm »

Hoes think they're all that but they ain't. We've already established that they CAN be dangerous if they overwhelm us with their numbers.

And you can start your own perfectly moral brothel by stealing them from the immoral brothels you're raiding. I think it's $20k/month each, at the cost of one prison cell? It takes some research, but that's gonna pay for itself pretty quick.

...or not.
No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality

Rince Wind

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Re: Port Fantastic - X-Piratez
« Reply #36 on: September 03, 2019, 01:36:07 pm »

Red or Grey


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Re: Port Fantastic - X-Piratez
« Reply #37 on: September 03, 2019, 02:04:49 pm »

Saya said something about not leaving anyone alive, but she doesn't need to know how many people were here at the first place. We could use some of this guy's knowledge, which I don't expect to be deep.

You didn't leave them alive, you brought them back to base alive. It counts. Especially when you're supposed to get rid of some traitors. They know good information.

As for the codex, the ships are the thing you're stuck with longest. The charger laser doesn't require ammo, but needs to be recharged after 50 (?) shots. The choice of VooDoo doesn't affect much now that Bugeyes are a thing that exists.

Grey is nice for research and having the Shadowbat as a ship. Green has free gals which is good if you thought slaves were better than gals for some reason. But I have yet to see Red in action, so I'll vote for that.
No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality


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Re: Port Fantastic - X-Piratez
« Reply #38 on: September 04, 2019, 06:52:58 pm »

Red or Green seem fine to me, I haven't done either of those yet.
Forenia Forever!
GENERATION 11: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.


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Re: Port Fantastic - X-Piratez
« Reply #39 on: September 05, 2019, 11:53:15 am »

I'm for Red.  I'd like to see if getting chainmail a couple months early helps.
I think the word you were looking for is "monster".


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Re: Port Fantastic - X-Piratez
« Reply #40 on: September 07, 2019, 06:30:02 pm »

Sign me up for a martial arts/melee gal, yeah? Kicking ass and getting killed taking names!
Grenade chucker works too. Maybe both?


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Re: Port Fantastic - X-Piratez
« Reply #41 on: September 29, 2019, 03:25:12 pm »

It was a while, huh? Got addicted to Rimworld again, that's mostly why it took so long. I also had Monster for the first time of my life; it was good, though not as good as Rockstar. I'll have to try Monster Zero Ultra next.

Red codex it is! I like it more than grey or gold, but not quite as much as green. Good choice anyway.

Dossier 6: Guild Trips

We start this update with some more research:

An Academy medic revealed the secret of oranges. While those strange fruit won't be enough to overthrow the Star Gods, they will help us fight scurvy and restore 10 stamina, morale and stun. Nifty.

Little more than wild animals, shamblers are very easy to hunt if you know their weaknesses which are fire and explosions. It's also fun to smash them with hammers and rip them open with chainsaw, although the latter probably ruins the hide. Shamblers, or rather Diablo abominables they share the sprite with, were designed by someone with a hand fetish.

We had interrogated a medic, and now it's time for her victim. The experiment subject knew that people pay good money for monster teeth and pretend they're good hunters. Maybe the victim was a huntress herself?

Another day, another Guild runabout. We'll steal it! No one will ever know!

We've got a G.O. who's burning on the ground from Scurvy's gun, another one about to be incinerated by Annie May's incendiary. The security guy also got an incendiary, but managed to hit Ocra with a reaction shot.

This was supposed to be easy sweeping! Rina and Ocra are in a very bad way; hopefuly they will be able to stay safely in the bus. It would be nice to capture the hostess, and especially the engineer, but we probably won't get the chance.

I'm just hoping Silver Chariot will be okay here. First she stabbed the security dude to death with a spear, and now she's facing another one armed with a light cannon. The bastard killed the dog, we have a reason to hate him.

Fuck that guy, he only deserves explosions and nothing more.

There were two G.Os left. One of them was unceremoniously sniped with a Skorpion; the other was hiding in the ship's engine room, and got whacked on the back of the head with a bare fist. We've got good money out of this raid, though a couple of gals will be out of the picture for a long time. Next time we will prepare better for attacking landed ships.

We need some time to lick our wounds, quite literally. Fortunately there are some simple, relatively risk-free missions we can attempt while the gals rest.

Ballers again. Kaos sniped this guy and his buddy with the ol' carbine. I'd love to replace this gun with something cooler, but for now it's doing fine job.

This guy was a pain to kill. Both Scurvy and Chariot kept missing their shots, then Happy showed up and riddled the baller with holes mafia style.

Too easy. A couple of quarterback gorillas aren't gonna capture the agents, we have a monopoly on that.

Monies. Ghostgates are still mad at us for those two unstopped genocides, though this time they haven't lowered them payments.

Emotional attachment ho! Dogs rarely live long enough to increase their stats a lot, and I'd rather take an extra gal than more dogs. Welp, at least it will free up some space in the burrows for when we want to dismantle them to build a beast den.

I personally manned the Volkswagen Golf and flew to attack a civilian transport. It's a small one, but money is money.

Here it is, the crashed car. It's gonna be fast and sweet.

Tough guy got tranquilized, drifter got beaten with a stick. The only really interesting thing besides the car's engine was the drifter's gun - snubby.

Meet I. Duno, one of our new recruits. She's a great thrower and runner. Her strength is low, but not the worst for a rookie. She can't really shoot though.

Two gals that joined alongside her are gunna Gray Tower (pretty good) and lubba Ebony Devil (absolutely horrendous).

Humanist activists are thick-skulled people who consider themselves to be of pure human bloodline. Those from Europe often call those from America "56% pure", then get the response of "purer than you, Pratal". This is usually accompanied with caricatural pictures from both sides. Humanists from Death Realms are known as "shitposters", though our brainers weren't able to find the reason for that.

While activists are not official members of humanist paramilitary organizations, they do like their guns, and are willing to follow orders from humanist instructors during mutant pogroms.

Of course he would tell us about the Confederation. Out of all places to live it's not the worst one unless you're a slave without any real value. Cowyotes sound pretty rad; shame we won't get to use them in battle or any way, really.
The most important players in Confederate politics are Godgle and NeoKentucky Fried Reaper megacorporations, while the media are controlled by the recently defrosted and cybernetically enhanced Cyber Walt Disney and his superconglomerate that is still fighting Sony for the full rights to a character named Strange Rope Hero.

It's a bit unsettling that we've learned this from a gubment agent, but that confirms everything people have been whispering about for years - factions hire raiders to do more unsavory missions. That's not very surprising, considering that megacorps in real life do that all the time, though they don't serve alien gods as far as we know - it's actually a secret cabal in contact with demon lords.

I already explained why I don't like camo and stealth - we just don't get enough feedback from the game to really use it effectively, and counting tiles with every move is the opposite of fun.

A better grenade, just a bit harder to throw because of its weight. There's nothing special about it except the base damage being 69. Nice.

Even the most feeble peasant can kill someone at point-blank with a shotgun, which is nice for training shooting without having to worry about missing.

We've just heard plenty of wonderful stories about the Confederation, but we haven't heard anything about those beauties. I'm sure we'll find a lot of use for them. Shall we take a closer look?

The fabled lasso of truth used by the ancient hero Wonderbread Woman, and also by slavers and cowyoteboys all around the Confederation. It's sorta hard to use, two handed and slow, a bit more inconvenient than it used to be. It is, however, a strong electric stun weapon that works from a short distance, even on roberts.

The Eagle is the king of all pistols, massively powerful and with good to great accuracy. There are two slight drawbacks - the speed is not the best, and unlike some other pistols it doesn't use any special ammo, just regular old bullets. It's a pistol that can punch holes in brick walls, does firing speed matter that much?

Monstermano is not related to the Confederation at all, but rather to the monster tooth. It's a pretty standard light stabby tool with underwhelming power bonuses, except it straight up eats morale with its many many teeth.

Remember Spartans? They've appeared again, looking for trouble like Spartans do. Think we can take them on?

Nah, we can't do that. There was like ten spartans looking straight into our bus's window, all of them armed better than I'd like them to be. Scurvy got badly wounded when one of them reaction fired at her with his assault machine gun. The dog got shotgunned pretty bad, but doggos don't need to rest.

That's more my speed. Some assholes like money more than they like other mutants being alive. That's the case with me too, but since Saya is the one giving us money for this...

Time to round up some traitorous mutants like this one.

Such a tiny pistol, yet she managed to kill the dog. Happy has punished her with some buckshot.

Although she's a Happy, she's not really happy. After getting brain-tickled by a bugeye she started firing her shotgun all around, nearly blasting Meg Atron's head off.

Never again. Euchre Jill did some sudoku on the hybrid after sprinting all the way to the top of this building. Meg should help her search the warehouse.

Another warehouse, another victim. Jenny was searching the place, when she suddenly noticed a highwayman investigating gunshot he's heard. Our gal jumped down and impaled the highwayman with her spear. Twice. Whe he woke up in the morning he probably did't expect he would be impaled by Jenny Talia today.

The grey guy out there was a goddamn bastard. He continued his brother's work molesting Happy's mind. Tower stepped up with her carbine to be the adult Happy needed.

Despite all this panicking and freaking out Happy has proven useful in this mission by healing up Meg who got shot by an unknown assailant.

Here she is, the one who hurt Meg! Tower, Happy and Jenny are gonna gang up on her and murder her brutally. Or take her home alive, that works too.

Jenny Talia ended up impaling another person, but from a longer range. I love javelins.

We've poured a whole bottle of vodka into the bugeye's bulet wound, hence the hostage. Gray Tower grew ten inches from this mission, unlike her accuracy that has increased just a bit. Jenny Talia also got bigger and harder; I'm so proud of her, I hope she lives long.

Medical supplies are essential to the next phase of our operation - learning about medicine. Most people spend years studying so they don't kill someone while operating on them, but we don't have this kind of time.

A ratman revealed what pogroms actually are - pogroms. Like it or not, mutants are fun to kill, and if Saya wasn't staring at us from the shadows right now, we would be doing just that instead of running after traitors and bandits.

We're in Madagascar, some kinda sinister mutant forest, searching for a shipwrecked gal. Not that we need one, or have space in the barracks for that matter, but that's a thing we do.
Dog mauled one immediately in the first turn. He died the next turn.

Oh, stun smoke mines.

Environmental hazards or not, we're done. Happy has blasted the other highwayman and dragged him to the bus.

Something tells me there might be some kind of rivalry between brainers and runts, but I can't quite tell why I got this thought. Anyway, the major dangers of minings are:
-filling your entire inventory with diorite, andesite and granite;
-unleashing crundles and elk birds upon the world;
-bringing ruin to your family;

Now we know how to prevent those unfortunate accidents, and all it takes is a single handy tool:

The pickaxe! It's a tool that a strong gal can use to bring down walls. As a weapon it's not very good due to its horrible accuracy, however if it does hit, it has a tendency to not only bypass armor, but also damage it.

Early morning, Canadian taiga, our Airbus has arrived in the place from which a distress signal was being sent. The guild has a bad streak of crashing their ships, it's gotta be said.

The hostess made a powerful enemy as soon as she hit Dee Spacito with her tiny pistol. Tower wouldn't let that offense pass and sniped the woman from inside the bus.

I know we have to capture a pilot sooner or later, and it's frustrating that I was forced to maul him with a dog. I didn't want him to hurt Jill with that revolver of his.

Fire is a pirate's best friend, even in thick forests where there are bears that apparently get pissy if you use fire carelessly. Jill has been walking around shooting people with Skorpion, while Happy took out the old cannon and hit the Guild team leader with an incendiary cannonball square in the head.

That was fun and quite lucrative. We've found a lot of credit chips and a bejeweled cup. Maybe the Guild was doing money transport for a bank of some kind? Indirect bank robbery ho!

A car was shot down not so far from our port by our 2595 Volkswagen Golf.

Before we capture the downed vessel, let's take a look at what the brainers have come up with. We can apparently use flour as a substitute for gunpowder, or maybe we use gunpowder instead of flour to make bread? The more I learn about farming in this day and age, the more I regret not becoming X-Farmerz.

With the knowledge of gunpowder we can finally make a sword that shoots, a gunsword. It's not that farfetched because with its low accuracy and slow speed, the harquebus's shooting capabilities are outmatched by melee - great accuracy, high power, substantial power bonuses. One of the strangest guns yet.

What an unfortunate turn of events - we've just landed in some swamp in the middle of No Man's Land, and there's already a sharp guy aiming his Blackmarch pistol at us. We should teach him a little lesson on welcoming his guest.

Happy isn't the best teacher - the student has fallen asleep. Maybe it's because Happy used sleep darts instead of a handbook?

One of the sharp guy's guards was a drifter with an iGun, a dangerous fellow. Like in the previous mission I chose to use fire to burn down the crackhead's morale, this time in the form of Jenny's Molotovs. It's never a good thing when 'Jenny Talia' and 'burn' are used in the same sentence, especially for bad guys.

Zap! A kid got caught in Euchre Jill's electric lasso of truth. He told us that he's not happy about being electrocuted, which is enough of a proof that the lassos work as intended.
Another kid got a stun dart in his neck and went to sleep.

No idea where the high stamina gains are coming from, but I'm glad they are. I.Duno trained throwing by zapping the drifter after he stopped burning. He was panicking, but I didn't want him to cause any trouble even by getting in the way.

All the info about fatal wounds makes sense, and even though I haven't read up on the actual effects, I always assumed exactly what's written here.
Sometimes death is better than ending a mission with 10 fatal wounds - wounded gals don't fight but still take their pay. We can, of course fire them if we deem the wait not worth it, although I'm pretty sure it's illegal in some way.

We can shorten the waiting with a sickbay that is soon going to be unlocked. Would have been great a month ago, but I forgot to research medical supplies. Oh well.

First one of many Guild warehouses we'll raid in our piratin' career. Those scurvy dogs are using some poor schmuck's farm as a hideout without considering that we may bust in and destroy even more crops. Those monsters!

We're going in hot! Dog has mauled a security guard who was about to come out and ask for our IDs. Good, because we don't have IDs.

This was kind of brutal, in the sense that it was violent, not that it was hard. Happy burst into the barracks and threw a Molotov at a G.O., then Jenny opened the door to the kitchen and threw an axe at another one, and finally the dog has bit another G.O. to death. Oh, and Crazy Diamond has punched a hostess into coma.

Meanwhile, Gray Tower is searching for people outside of the compound, those busy ramsacking the farm or just hiding cowardly.

Oh, a team leader! Tower is ill-equipped for close-quarter combat, so she's unpinned an incendiary grenade, dropped it under her feet, then ran like there was no tomorrow.

The shed has turned into a blazing bonfire, but the bastard kept it together and ran out still holding his revolver. Tower kicked him in the melting face.

The warehouse held a single tacticool vest and a spacesuit fitted for humans. I'm more excited about gals becoming better and better, although Happy will spend a lot of time in the hospital now because a savvy girl kept stabbing her with a shiv, causing 5 fatal wounds.

The Guild G.Os clad in stylish jumpsuits and equipped with a knockoff version of the classic Guile Hairstyle are the cannon fodder used by the Guild so that more valuable employees have more time taking aim at attackers. I assume they are well-paid compared to non-affiliated manual laborers considering all the things they do, but then again, they might actually be mind-controlled or something like that.

That G.O. must have had experience in fixing ships, because that's exactly what he told us about. We gotta treat our crafts right or else they won't serve us as they shoud, or rather not at all.

Crackheads, hobos, lone cowyoteboys who had lost their way. Drifters have various reasons to drift, but in the end they are just dudes with fast hands and half-decent guns. Bandits hire drifters for some jobs, though there is no reason to actively seek them out or keep them from wandering away. In their travels drifters probably see many strange sights, and speaking of sights:

The monster eye is a result of butchering a monster, what a surprise. People more superstitious than us will pay good money if we can source some.

Shrine maidens are the exact opposite of drifters - they are actually skilled in many areas (except those useful in combat), and they seem to be respected (at least in a way). They also wear outfits that would look good on our gals.

Those outfits actually do fit the hands! The maid clothes are needed for certain missions, but other than that there's very little reason to use them. Their voodoo power bonus is nice, though with the combat stress the gals might as well fight butt-naked.

The sickbay shortens recovery time by a third, which is significant enough to spend 725k right off the bat, and 30k every month. Unfortunately we don't have enough medical supplies yet.

Crackhouse, the house of crack. The sharp guy did done it now, scamming Jack some people on the black market. Man, Jack those people are garbage at this kind of business.

It was a tricky shot, but nothing is too tricky for Gray Tower. The sharp guy has paid for his misdeeds, but we can't leave now, there's kids and thugs to kill!

They are swarming in there! How nice it would be to set the place on fire.

This was an absolutely horibble decision. Jenny Talia got burned, Gray Tower and Crazy Diamond got badly wounded to the point where Diamond passed out. And there I was thinking diamond is unbreakable.

We fortunately managed to patch up all the wounds, then Hermit ran into the place and started shooting kids with her Eagle. The remaining tough guy was so terrified that he cried, pissed his pants maybe, maybe shat and came. So did Jenny and Tower, but that's for the best, since it granted them bonus bravery.
Conveniently, the sharp guy was hoarding medical supplies, so maybe now we'll be able to build this sickbay.

A successful pirate brings home a lot of loot, and a lot of loot requires a lot of storage space. This is where large vaults come in handy.

Damn Spartans prancing around the place like they're welcome here.

Chariot has shot their boss; how is that for a punishment? Ha! We might win this one!

Nevermind. Annie May is dead, Hierophant got knocked unconscious by concentrated assault machine gun fire, but didn't bleed.

Go figure that we'd learn something like that from a sharp guy. It's water full of TV commercial buzzwords. Hydration is key, but the gals are not used to drinking clean water, only booze, Pepsi and Rockstar Energy Drink.

We're assaulting a downed aircar. The sharp guy and his teenage guard were quickly incapacitated by Kaos and Chariot with their harpoon guns. There should be two more people to take down.

I.Duno's ambush has been successful! She zapped the tough guy leaving the car. Now to take care of the savvy girl...

Ebony Devil tossed her incendiary grenade, and the woman was begging us for mercy. I wish I.Duno would have got some throwing, but it's okay.

An upgrade to the domestic shotgun, faster in snap, more accurate overall, with greater range, and capable of shooting AP slugs. It can't shoot rubber bullets, but that's not the point of this gun.

A ratman has told us that we should be selling our loot immediately, and that there's an auto-sell function. Accidentally, we can now put ratmen on auto-sell since we can't learn anything more from them.

Believe it or not, Betty White is still alive and kicking in 2601. She was sent to militia training at once, because holy crap, those centuries weren't easy on her.

The standard SMG, ironically counting as a pistol. It's more accurate, faster and more shooty than the spraygun, but unfortunately even weaker. Nothing in this gun speaks to me more than the Skorpion's incendiary ammo.

Those ancient coins were once a form of currency, and they can still be used as such when dealing with collectors. One of those collectors is none other than our good friend, Goblin Zaxx. He'll give us not only credit chips, but also his favor.

We had a lotta bad luck this month, haven't we? Our gals got to spend many many days in the barracks resting, and the brigands and outlaws of all kinds were running loose. The gubments are still satisfied with us, especially those that didn't require our help.

Protective gear, that amazing mechanics where putting a scarf in your backpack somehow makes you warm. It is, however, useful for situations such as surprise mutant forests with choking fog or sleep-mines.

This is the scarf I've mentioned. Cold damage is most often encountered as a map hazard in cold regions of the world, damaging stamina instead of HP. Using the shawl as a weapon is advised only if you feel like doing something cool and not particularly safe. At least high accuracy means that you won't have to repeat the attack many times, which is convenient since 60% TU cost is a bit prohibitive in those matters.

A bugeyed traitor has told us about this little toy. It is accurate whether you see the target or not, and can lob different kinds of 'nades. It's best used as a heavy weapon, though at short distances kneeling and aiming isn't really needed.
The 'nades aren't as strong as frag grenades, but even a weak-ass gal can shoot across the map.

Wrenches are not the most reliable weapons, and to be completely honest their only interesting feature is breaking armor, not even bypassing it. The power bonus from rank seems neat until you realize it's only 1-5.

A tech-savvy b-boy has told us all he knew about personal computers that people carry around. We can now take them apart including the hentai collections saved on the memory card.
The phone can be used as a melee weapon, hitting for half of the gal's strength and with 70% of her melee skill. If we wanted to seriously flex on someone, we could go for it and take the computer to a mission. A gal could technically get "master of the personal computer" condemnation, which is mildly humorous.

Time to enjoy some ratman pogrom. The whole crew had to gang up on a single brigand because Kaos and Dixie Normous couldn't hit for shit in melee, and I.Duno had a live grenade in her hand and couldn't whip the despicable mutant. Finally the dog showed up and killed the brigand and his friend.

What a beautiful little garden, shame ratmen got in. No worries, Ebony Devil is here, and she's ready to get rid of the vermin with a military shotgun. She's holding it one-handed, which is probably not good for her wrists.

I.Duno and Dixie are making up for their mistakes. Duno zapped a ratman with her lasso of truth, learning that ratmen don't even like trash and eat it only to live up to other people's expectations; Dixie has busted a wall with her sawed-off, then blasted a ratman brigand.

Dog has perished so Dixie could live, such is the circle of life. It was a pro gamer move on my side and I'm really proud of myself. The enemy dog still bit Dixie pretty badly, but Duno showered her in vodka so it's okay.

DEVIL! Okay, I never actually liked her, but she got attacked from all sides at the same time. That just won't fly.

There's someone in the orchard, someone with a gun. Now that the dog is medium rare, Kaos can set up an ambush for its master.

Hooray for team Dixie-Duno! The peasant spotted a dangerous ratman, then Duno, despite her lack of shooting skills, hit the vermin with a manstopper. Yes, we still carry some of those.

Kaos whacked the ratman boss who had killed Devil, and now we can go home.

This is the replacement for Ebony Devil. Yellow Temperance is actually a good gal, skilled in running and stabbing. We've found her stranded somewhere in the wild. It may sound inconsiderate, but I'm glad we got rid of Devil to get her.

And now for something completely different - an aircar that we've shot down over Blackmarch.

Those people managed to sneak past Silver Chariot without noticing her or being noticed by her. It was a tactical mistake on their side.

Chariot and Duno have pacified this crowd, while Barb Aryan knocked out the guy in the barn with her quarterstaff. It really is a good weapon for peasants.

Another crashed car, this time in some god-forsaken swamp.

A savvy girl with a shotgun made the day worse for us, but we managed to get to all the passengers without getting anyone killed.

Boomsticks are fun, but boom without the stick part is even better. The problem with this kind of weapons is their low fire rate, with those that can be fired rapidly counting as cannon munition.

Bikes, 13 of them to be exact, can transport this many gals all over the world. Unfortunately bikes are much slower than any flying car or ship, and while we're at it, they can't have as many hands and detect as far as on-foot expeditions. Faster scouting seems useful maybe?

An experiment victim has shared her wisdom with us - there's nothing bad in backing off from time to time. If we had more crafts and gals, we would even be able to lose battles and still win the war. There is technically no war, but you know what I mean.

Not exactly what I was hoping to learn from a ninja gal. Narlocks believe there's eight celestial spirits looking over them, and constantly frowning on everything they do. Can't say I like narlock religion very much - not nearly enough cowboys and wizards.

Those are always fun. Everything there can be said has already been said. Time to open up some lootboxes.

O-oh! Omega rifle sounds like something late game! I want to research it for now instead of making use of it; we may get one later, and it may be more needed than it is now.

Gobbos are sneaky folks, and I won't repeat why I don't like stealth. They can enter ratman caches and people can fire from behind them even when the lokk'naar isn't crouching. They are usually good at shooting too, although this might be just my luck.

Finally an opportunity to show off the protective gear. Jenny and Meg don't have warm clothes, so they'll carry scarves tied to their belts in hopes that magical energies will protect them.

Another great landing, a perfect spot to begin the assault on the guild warehouse.

Temperance has scored her first kill ever by roasting a G.O., while Jill chose more ambitious target - a security guard who was slashed with her cutlass. The other guard survived two shells from Scurvy's sawed-off, even with those shells being packed with .6g buckshot.

Maybe we'll finally get that Guild team leader. Temperance has shot him with a surprisingly accurate Skorpion round. He didn't go bonkers after that and I can't say I was looking all the time, so he might have died.

Hey now! No riding off on a bus! Meg stabbed him with a spear, but he's still standing.

Scurvy armed with a shotgun and a wakizashi and Jill armed with an Eagle and a cutlass have entered the warehouse proper. The guard was chopped up into small pieces, and the hostess is awaiting her fate.

Her fate was getting beaten up by two mutant amazons with swords. God, I wish that was me. The stabbed bus enthusiast panicked when he realized he was outgunned despite his enemy only having a spear. There was also an unarmed savvy gal who was savvy enough not to resist.
The warehouse was storing metal ore and durathread, unusual combination but okay.
Meg desperately needed that strength, and I'm impressed that Jill got that much reactions just by waving her sword.

How about we raid a brothel? We're not in a good position, pretty much forced to attack from the front. At least we can safely retreat to the bus at the end of the turn.

That's some threats neutralized. The hoe was pacified by Scurvy and her shotgun, four rubber bullets to be exact; the b-boy fell to a single Eagle bullet, courtesy of Euchre Jill; the tough guy thought he found a bastard spot to snipe from, but Meg Atron managed to get a javelin in there, killing the guy swiftly and elegantly.

More hoes down! Scurvy is still at it with the shotgun, but Jill prefers traditional strangling.

Jenny Talia, however, lacks all forms of subtlety. She just tossed an axe at the hooker who was creeping up from behind, mostly because this hooker was actually armed unlike the previous two.

How about we infiltrate the building from all three points? There was actually just a highwayman in there, so this was useless effort.

Easy mission for once. We've captured 5 hoes, but we can't keep them all; had to release some to the wild where their place is.

Human gals are notorious for not expecting to fight for their life, and that's why they don't undergo any prior training. If they survive long enough they can become killing machines as good as our uber gals, just without heavy weaponry and without strong voodoo.

Hey look, it's a cluttered town, one of my least favorite maps. We're here to hunt down some humanists, the usual job for Saya. I promise this time there will be fewer survivors.

First, Betty white was hit in the back by two SMG rounds, and after getting healed by Jill, she scorched the entire alley with her Skorpion. Then Jill sniped the other humanist with her Eagle from across the map. Meanwhile Jenny skewered yet another one.

God, that was just grueling. I hate those maps so much, with all this multi-level buildings with so many tiny rooms it's not funny.

I personally prefer one-handed SMGs to use their full potential while also carrying a sword or a mace. Regardless, the two-handed ones are generally more accurate but less shooty. Gotta blance accuracy and shootiness somehow.

The demon skull used to be just a skull until the author of the mod was asked why not just take skulls from corpses. These are mostly used in various manufacturing processes, though they can be used to trade some morale for stamina. The exchange rate isn't good enough for me.

An aircar race! Those are short-lived signals that, when reached by a fast vehicle, grant free points, money and favor. Jack probably won't be too upset if we lose though.

Our Volkswagen Golf couldn't even get halfway through the race. This is where airspeeders come in handy.

The govt agent has told us a little bit about those Spartan forces that were busting my balls. They were conducting raids against defenseless towns and villages on the fringes of civilization. The main benefit of stopping these for us right now would be their guns, including the homefront rifle.

Two aircars and a tower, all of these right next to our base. The choice is hard, but it must be made.

It's a bigger car than we've raided before, but that doesn't mean it's any more dangerous. Or actually it is, since its crew consists of a kid with two blackmarch pistols, a tough guy with an Eagle, and some more people we haven't seen yet.

Okay, I couldn't document that because it was just too intense a battle. Purple Hermit got 44 days of rest, and that's with the sickbay built. It would be 66 days otherwise.

I'll compare the assault rifle to the ol' carbine, our rifle of choice. It's certainly stronger, a bit more accurate in aimed, and much faster in snap. It also boasts a fast auto-fire faster than that of a Tommy. As a proper rifle, the AR has unlimited range in aimed, but unlike the ol' carbine it can't be fired that way twice in a turn.

At that point I attempted to update the mod and... I beaned it up. I tried my best to make everything work, but the closest I got was fixing the game itself but being unable to load the save. The canon explaination: The Guild ran crying to the Star Gods because we were bullying them too hard, so Killer Queen (was she even alive? It was too long) used her secret ability to get us out of trouble. She rewinded time to the point where the gals were escaping The Academy's secret lab.
That's right, I'm not giving up because of such a minor setback. The short hiatus was not entirely because of this.


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Re: Port Fantastic - X-Piratez
« Reply #42 on: September 30, 2019, 12:26:10 pm »

Well, at least I don't have to spend all that time healing from stab wounds now. Just remember to let me rejoin the gang, even if I suspect Happy Happens will be very confused by this time travel stuff.
Forenia Forever!
GENERATION 11: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.


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Re: Port Fantastic - X-Piratez
« Reply #43 on: October 01, 2019, 08:20:54 am »

No idea where the high stamina gains are coming from, but I'm glad they are. I.Duno trained throwing by zapping the drifter after he stopped burning. He was panicking, but I didn't want him to cause any trouble even by getting in the way.

No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality

Rince Wind

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Re: Port Fantastic - X-Piratez
« Reply #44 on: October 01, 2019, 09:29:47 am »

Protip: Always install a new version in a different folder, then copy the save (and the needed files from oldcom).
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