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Author Topic: SPAMCORPORATION: Literally spam inc.  (Read 155 times)

Aigre Excalibur

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SPAMCORPORATION: Literally spam inc.
« on: September 10, 2019, 08:03:12 am »

Your name is ____. Your job at microsoft service support was replaced by a smart AI. Now you are alone in your mother's basement in a brave new post-employment world. Yet you do have a computer and cellphone, you reach for these brave new tools of communication and get to making money.

1. Pick a name.

[ ] Hombre mac Gringo

[ ] Ivan von Adolf

[ ] Mohamamad Bar Abraham

[ ] George Hussein

[ ] Write in

2. Assign your first skillpoint

[ ] Computer Programming - Assists in writing scripts and automating spam, pretending to be microsoft service support.
[ ] Finance - Used for writing tax scams and investment scams
[ ] Legal Knowledge - General skill used for looking for bureaucratic loopholes, creating legal documents and contracts, and getting out of trouble.
[ ] Medicine - Used for writing pharmaceutical scams, cheap viagra sales, miracle anti-oxidents, etc...

[ ] Networking - Helps with creating multi-level-marketing chains, finding the right people for the right jobs.
[ ] Empathy - Helps in identifying and appealling to to people's needs. Makes you a good listener in phone conversations.
[ ] Persuasion - Skill at Generic manipulative techniques - "there's no obligation whatsoever...", emotional appeals, appeals to urgency, etc...
[ ] Charisma - Your likeability and personal magnetism. Helps with seduction and building your own personality cult.

3. Based on your skills, think of your first scam, here are some common ones:

[ ] This is microsoft Service support, we have detected a virus in your computer and we need your help to resolve the problem. Main Skill: Computers.
[ ] We need your help transferring money out of our country... if you help us we will give you a portion... Main skill: Finance
[ ] This is the Tax Authority, and you owe us $125,238 in unpaid taxes. The police will be notified to repossess your stuff unless you cooperate Main Skill Legal/Persuasion
[ ] Set up a social media profile pretending to be a beautiful man/woman. You are looking for love, but you need financial assistance.
[ ] You have won the Kiribati lottery, however there is an administrative fee before we can credit your account.
[ ] Write in
Logged
Never ever cease communication with your enemies, never ever cease interaction with them, never isolate yourself from them. Never ignore them, relish the time to deal with them, to exercise banter. The biggest mistake one can make is ignoring one's enemies. Go out of your way to pick a fight today.

Aigre Excalibur

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Re: SPAMCORPORATION: Literally spam inc.
« Reply #1 on: September 10, 2019, 08:03:56 am »

Reserved for something
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Never ever cease communication with your enemies, never ever cease interaction with them, never isolate yourself from them. Never ignore them, relish the time to deal with them, to exercise banter. The biggest mistake one can make is ignoring one's enemies. Go out of your way to pick a fight today.

King Zultan

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Re: SPAMCORPORATION: Literally spam inc.
« Reply #2 on: September 10, 2019, 10:11:33 am »

Lets be the most annoying call to get in the morning, because this is the one we always get at my house.

1. Pick a name.
[X] George Hussein

2. Assign your first skillpoint
[X] Computer Programming - Assists in writing scripts and automating spam, pretending to be microsoft service support.

3. Based on your skills, think of your first scam, here are some common ones:
[X] This is microsoft Service support, we have detected a virus in your computer and we need your help to resolve the problem. Main Skill: Computers.
Logged
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

Naturegirl1999

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Re: SPAMCORPORATION: Literally spam inc.
« Reply #3 on: September 11, 2019, 01:41:53 pm »

1. Ivan von Adolf
2. Legal Knowledge
3. This is the Tax Authority, and you owe us $125,238 in unpaid taxes. The police will be notified to repossess your stuff unless you cooperate Main Skill Legal/Persuasion
Logged
GENERATION 28: The first time you see this, copy it into your signature on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment
Quote from: Naturegirl1999 IRL
*picks up pepper* “Look, a pickle” *puts down pepper* “wait, pickles and peppers are completely different instruments”
Moral of the story: Everyone has dumb moments, laugh at them

Rockeater

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Re: SPAMCORPORATION: Literally spam inc.
« Reply #4 on: September 11, 2019, 02:22:40 pm »

1. Ivan von Adolf
2. Legal Knowledge
3. This is the Tax Authority, and you owe us $125,238 in unpaid taxes. The police will be notified to repossess your stuff unless you cooperate Main Skill Legal/Persuasion
+1
Logged
Damnit people, this is why I said to keep the truce. Because now everyone's ganging up on the cats.
Also, don't forget to contact your local Eldritch Being(s), so that they can help with our mission to destroy the universe.

Aigre Excalibur

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Re: SPAMCORPORATION: Literally spam inc.
« Reply #5 on: September 12, 2019, 01:12:39 am »

This game is inspired by scam baiting community reports and also testimonies on quora from people stuck propagating spam as literal wage work because it's all they good find.

---

You are Ivan von Adolf, most shunned Ivan in Russia, most hated Adolf in Germany, a bastard child with no place to belong, until employment in a hungarian call centre fed you, gave you purpose, community and a reason to get up in the morning.

Then it was all taken away. The call centres shut down, you, the cheap labour that customer support was outsourced to, was replaced by AI, that worked with maximum efficiency, minimal needs and zero complaints.

You did a law course in the community college however, it would never be enough to become a lawyer, but you were hoping to at least be a clerk. But even most clerical jobs were replaced by better and better software. But there is one thing you know that lawyers do well, and that is causing fear to the unitiated. The threat of legal action and the hassle of courts and police are more than what most people can bear, regardless of what they think they know about their rights.

You pick up a phone and a phone book and start dialling numbers in first world countries. The phonebook itself is an antiquated artifact, yet the contacts stored within belong to the old, the vulnerable and those mal-equipped to survive in this brave new world.

It took you about 20 tries before someone even talked to you, but you waited patiently for the fish to bite. Then you sink your teeth in. "Maam i'm calling from the IRS and our records show that you have unpaid taxes. We will be notifying the police unless you comply promptly." You feel the fear emanating from your quarry, the stress.

"Please tell me what to do, I don't want any trouble"

You give her account numbers, harsh threats lacing your words.

"But i don't have that much money!"

"You better come up with the money or it's your house, your things and your family we'll come after!"

After the first day you find some 20,000 american dollars in your account. That was easy for the amount of work you had to do. Perhaps you could make more! Perhaps you could even get computers to send spam for you.

---

[ ] Get state of the art I7 processor PCs for 2000 dollars, Each one of these babies could send thousands of spam each. All you need is non-zero conversion rates and you would more than break even. Automate everything.

[ ] You are not just a man of business. You are a man of the community. Hire other unemployed bottom feeders like you. Pay them generously, 10 dollars and hour! Invest in desks and chairs and computers and phones for them. Teach them the art of spam and tell them that on your ship you are steering them all towards richess and social-economic stability.

---

Do you want to alter the scam tactics?

[ ] Maintain the IRS scam

[ ] Switch to something else, write in


---

You need more exposure, phone books are not going to cut it in this day and age. And a computer can finish going through that within hours. You gotta do what modern people do: (you can checkbox more than one and we'll split our attention between the options)

[ ] Buy google ads. Why would you not have an adblock? Because you're gullible and trusting towards institutions. Exactly the kind of customers we want.

[ ] Bake some cookies. The kind that keep practically forever. They will collect user information, people's browsing and ad clicking habits, social media connections.

[ ] Build your own contact lists, advertise surveys, lucky draws, free Iphones, the kind of thing that gets stupid people to click links and hand over personal information. You can send them free cookies while they click those links too!

---

Name: Ivan von Adolf

Skills:

Computer Programming
Finance
Legal Knowledge: 1
Medicine

Networking
Empathy
Persuasion
Charisma
« Last Edit: September 12, 2019, 05:03:03 am by Aigre Excalibur »
Logged
Never ever cease communication with your enemies, never ever cease interaction with them, never isolate yourself from them. Never ignore them, relish the time to deal with them, to exercise banter. The biggest mistake one can make is ignoring one's enemies. Go out of your way to pick a fight today.

Naturegirl1999

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Re: SPAMCORPORATION: Literally spam inc.
« Reply #6 on: September 12, 2019, 09:30:44 am »

[ ] You are not just a man of business. You are a man of the community. Hire other unemployed bottom feeders like you. Pay them generously, 10 dollars and hour! Invest in desks and chairs and computers and phones for them. Teach them the art of spam and tell them that on your ship you are steering them all towards richess and social-economic stability.

[ ] Maintain the IRS scam

[ ] Bake some cookies. The kind that keep practically forever. They will collect user information, people's browsing and ad clicking habits, social media connections.
Logged
GENERATION 28: The first time you see this, copy it into your signature on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment
Quote from: Naturegirl1999 IRL
*picks up pepper* “Look, a pickle” *puts down pepper* “wait, pickles and peppers are completely different instruments”
Moral of the story: Everyone has dumb moments, laugh at them

Rockeater

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Re: SPAMCORPORATION: Literally spam inc.
« Reply #7 on: September 12, 2019, 09:38:07 am »

[ ] You are not just a man of business. You are a man of the community. Hire other unemployed bottom feeders like you. Pay them generously, 10 dollars and hour! Invest in desks and chairs and computers and phones for them. Teach them the art of spam and tell them that on your ship you are steering them all towards richess and social-economic stability.

[ ] Maintain the IRS scam

[ ] Bake some cookies. The kind that keep practically forever. They will collect user information, people's browsing and ad clicking habits, social media connections.
+1
Logged
Damnit people, this is why I said to keep the truce. Because now everyone's ganging up on the cats.
Also, don't forget to contact your local Eldritch Being(s), so that they can help with our mission to destroy the universe.

0cra_tr0per

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Re: SPAMCORPORATION: Literally spam inc.
« Reply #8 on: September 12, 2019, 10:16:36 am »

[ ] You are not just a man of business. You are a man of the community. Hire other unemployed bottom feeders like you. Pay them generously, 10 dollars and hour! Invest in desks and chairs and computers and phones for them. Teach them the art of spam and tell them that on your ship you are steering them all towards richess and social-economic stability.

[ ] Maintain the IRS scam

[ ] Bake some cookies. The kind that keep practically forever. They will collect user information, people's browsing and ad clicking habits, social media connections.
+1
+1. Also, we should have a money tracker that tells us how much money we have in any specific currency. for convenience.
Logged
Sigtext
Latest quote:
Little Billy: Daddy's here and he's cooking? And he let's me drink beer!? OH BOY! Ecstatic
Overlength quote count: 2

King Zultan

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Re: SPAMCORPORATION: Literally spam inc.
« Reply #9 on: September 12, 2019, 09:34:20 pm »

[ ] You are not just a man of business. You are a man of the community. Hire other unemployed bottom feeders like you. Pay them generously, 10 dollars and hour! Invest in desks and chairs and computers and phones for them. Teach them the art of spam and tell them that on your ship you are steering them all towards richess and social-economic stability.

[ ] Maintain the IRS scam

[ ] Bake some cookies. The kind that keep practically forever. They will collect user information, people's browsing and ad clicking habits, social media connections.
+1
+1. Also, we should have a money tracker that tells us how much money we have in any specific currency. for convenience.
+1
Logged
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

Aigre Excalibur

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Re: SPAMCORPORATION: Literally spam inc.
« Reply #10 on: September 13, 2019, 08:11:44 am »

[ ] You are not just a man of business. You are a man of the community. Hire other unemployed bottom feeders like you. Pay them generously, 10 dollars and hour! Invest in desks and chairs and computers and phones for them. Teach them the art of spam and tell them that on your ship you are steering them all towards richess and social-economic stability.

[ ] Maintain the IRS scam

[ ] Bake some cookies. The kind that keep practically forever. They will collect user information, people's browsing and ad clicking habits, social media connections.
+1
+1. Also, we should have a money tracker that tells us how much money we have in any specific currency. for convenience.
+1

Starting money: 20,000

You reckon you can squeeze in another 2 people in mum's basement: You get desks and chairs and telephones for them, spending 500 dollars each. You gain 2 workstations.

Then you spend 50 dollars on a newspaper ad looking for telemarkters. Within the first few hours you are swamped with calls from the desperate jobless. But you keep a cool head and pick out two who sound like they have the sweetest voices.

When they arrive at your doorstep, they look as sweet as they sound on the phone. Their names are Alicia and Amalie. They look at you like you have what they want: socio-economic stability. They make it clear that they would do anything to keep their jobs....

*cough*

You explain how they will be calling "potential clients" for their financial information. And how they are required to convey the company's demands for payment. You will bear all the risk, and they will make a wage, doing their jobs under your supervision.

You haven't fully automated your spam yet, and there are still plenty of unsolicited people left in the phone book. They get to work, making their calls, delivering friendly IRS reminders for payment.

Their sweet siren voices delivers results, and in the first day you make another 5000 dollars. You generously give your new associates 500 dollars each. The look in their eyes are priceless. The bills they could pay, the families they could feed, the things they could buy. They tiptoe and kiss you on each cheek, and you start dreaming about moving to a bigger office, surrounded by grateful telephone girls.

At night you make preparations to move into the digital age. You build your own tracking cookies, but you will need a delivery system. It could be through spam email, advertisements, or anything that would cause a user to clickthrough on a link.

How will you send cookies to potential customers?

[ ] Get the spam going, crank up your computer, maybe buy a few more, and send thousands of harmless cookie loaded links per hour. People still have to click those links though.
[ ] Let google do it for you. Everyone does it this way these days, from big companies to actual criminals. Buy some ads. Keep some geeks in silicon valley happy and complacent.
[ ] Write in.

You are thinking about finding a bigger workspace, maybe something that will  impress the girls. While you have more money than you could have ever imagined as a wage worker, it still isn't enough for prime leases, but you could look at studios or small offices.

Location:
[ ] Suburbs, near mom's basement
[ ] Inner city, lower land values, nearer the desperate, you could even start soup kitchens under your office.
[ ] Central, prime land, high visibility.
[ ] Industrial estates, low land values, lots of space, but poor frontage.
[ ] Write in

Size:
[ ] Open Studio: Enough space for up to 10 people, this is the only option you can afford on prime land.
[ ] Small office for about 20 people.
[ ] Write in

---

Remaining Money: 23,450

Workstations 2:

Employees:

Telemarketers: 2 - Alicia and Amalie
Morale - High, received generous first day bonus.

Contact lists - yellow pages: 200,000 entries. Depletion: ~250

---

Cashflows:

Starting cash:
20,000

Revenue:
5000

Outflows:
1000 - workstations for 2 employees
50 - job ads
500 bonus wages

Ending Cash: 23,450
Logged
Never ever cease communication with your enemies, never ever cease interaction with them, never isolate yourself from them. Never ignore them, relish the time to deal with them, to exercise banter. The biggest mistake one can make is ignoring one's enemies. Go out of your way to pick a fight today.

Naturegirl1999

  • Bay Watcher
  • Thank you 0cra_tr0per for the link
    • View Profile
Re: SPAMCORPORATION: Literally spam inc.
« Reply #11 on: September 13, 2019, 08:43:37 am »

[ ] Let google do it for you. Everyone does it this way these days, from big companies to actual criminals. Buy some ads. Keep some geeks in silicon valley happy and complacent.

[ ] Inner city, lower land values, nearer the desperate, you could even start soup kitchens under your office.

[ ] Open Studio: Enough space for up to 10 people, this is the only option you can afford on prime land.
Logged
GENERATION 28: The first time you see this, copy it into your signature on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment
Quote from: Naturegirl1999 IRL
*picks up pepper* “Look, a pickle” *puts down pepper* “wait, pickles and peppers are completely different instruments”
Moral of the story: Everyone has dumb moments, laugh at them

Rockeater

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Re: SPAMCORPORATION: Literally spam inc.
« Reply #12 on: September 13, 2019, 10:11:17 am »

[ ] Let google do it for you. Everyone does it this way these days, from big companies to actual criminals. Buy some ads. Keep some geeks in silicon valley happy and complacent.

[ ] Inner city, lower land values, nearer the desperate, you could even start soup kitchens under your office.

[ ] Open Studio: Enough space for up to 10 people, this is the only option you can afford on prime land.
+1
Logged
Damnit people, this is why I said to keep the truce. Because now everyone's ganging up on the cats.
Also, don't forget to contact your local Eldritch Being(s), so that they can help with our mission to destroy the universe.

King Zultan

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    • View Profile
Re: SPAMCORPORATION: Literally spam inc.
« Reply #13 on: September 13, 2019, 10:00:52 pm »

[ ] Let google do it for you. Everyone does it this way these days, from big companies to actual criminals. Buy some ads. Keep some geeks in silicon valley happy and complacent.

[ ] Inner city, lower land values, nearer the desperate, you could even start soup kitchens under your office.

[ ] Small office for about 20 people.


I don't see why we don't rent a whole building, sense we're going for the low value land.
Logged
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Can I have the sword when you’re done?