[ ] You are not just a man of business. You are a man of the community. Hire other unemployed bottom feeders like you. Pay them generously, 10 dollars and hour! Invest in desks and chairs and computers and phones for them. Teach them the art of spam and tell them that on your ship you are steering them all towards richess and social-economic stability.
[ ] Maintain the IRS scam
[ ] Bake some cookies. The kind that keep practically forever. They will collect user information, people's browsing and ad clicking habits, social media connections.
+1
+1. Also, we should have a money tracker that tells us how much money we have in any specific currency. for convenience.
+1
Starting money: 20,000
You reckon you can squeeze in another 2 people in mum's basement: You get desks and chairs and telephones for them, spending 500 dollars each. You gain 2 workstations.
Then you spend 50 dollars on a newspaper ad looking for telemarkters. Within the first few hours you are swamped with calls from the desperate jobless. But you keep a cool head and pick out two who sound like they have the sweetest voices.
When they arrive at your doorstep, they look as sweet as they sound on the phone. Their names are Alicia and Amalie. They look at you like you have what they want: socio-economic stability. They make it clear that they would do anything to keep their jobs....
*cough*
You explain how they will be calling "potential clients" for their financial information. And how they are required to convey the company's demands for payment. You will bear all the risk, and they will make a wage, doing their jobs under your supervision.
You haven't fully automated your spam yet, and there are still plenty of unsolicited people left in the phone book. They get to work, making their calls, delivering friendly IRS reminders for payment.
Their sweet siren voices delivers results, and in the first day you make another 5000 dollars. You generously give your new associates 500 dollars each. The look in their eyes are priceless. The bills they could pay, the families they could feed, the things they could buy. They tiptoe and kiss you on each cheek, and you start dreaming about moving to a bigger office, surrounded by grateful telephone girls.
At night you make preparations to move into the digital age. You build your own tracking cookies, but you will need a delivery system. It could be through spam email, advertisements, or anything that would cause a user to clickthrough on a link.
How will you send cookies to potential customers?
[ ] Get the spam going, crank up your computer, maybe buy a few more, and send thousands of harmless cookie loaded links per hour. People still have to click those links though.
[ ] Let google do it for you. Everyone does it this way these days, from big companies to actual criminals. Buy some ads. Keep some geeks in silicon valley happy and complacent.
[ ] Write in.
You are thinking about finding a bigger workspace, maybe something that will impress the girls. While you have more money than you could have ever imagined as a wage worker, it still isn't enough for prime leases, but you could look at studios or small offices.
Location:
[ ] Suburbs, near mom's basement
[ ] Inner city, lower land values, nearer the desperate, you could even start soup kitchens under your office.
[ ] Central, prime land, high visibility.
[ ] Industrial estates, low land values, lots of space, but poor frontage.
[ ] Write in
Size:
[ ] Open Studio: Enough space for up to 10 people, this is the only option you can afford on prime land.
[ ] Small office for about 20 people.
[ ] Write in
---
Remaining Money: 23,450
Workstations 2:
Employees:
Telemarketers: 2 - Alicia and Amalie
Morale - High, received generous first day bonus.
Contact lists - yellow pages: 200,000 entries. Depletion: ~250
---
Cashflows:
Starting cash:
20,000
Revenue:
5000
Outflows:
1000 - workstations for 2 employees
50 - job ads
500 bonus wages
Ending Cash: 23,450
Author
Topic: SPAMCORPORATION: Literally spam inc. (Read 1265 times)