: IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK IN THE DUMPSTER... WITH ALL MY COLLECTED LOOT.
: WAIT A MINUTE, THIS DUMPSTER IS MOVING! THIS IS NOT MY BEAUTIFUL DUMPSTER! YOU'RE NOT MY BEAUTIFUL LOOT!
: THAT EXPLAINS THE VIBRATING AND THE FACT THAT I KEEP COUGHING OUT MISCELLANEOUS STUFF. BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, WHERE THE HELL AM I?
: NOT AGAIN! I HAVE BEEN RELOCATED AGAINST MY WILL!
: I DO NOT ENJOY AN EASY LIFE, I ENJOY AN INTERESTING ONE!
: WELL THAT CHANGES THINGS.
: AMERICA WAS ALSO BUILT ON THE BACK OF UNPAID LABOR. BUT I DO NOT SEE ANY GUNS!
: I HAVE A DAD?
: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SURVIVE NUCLEAR WINTER IN THIS UNSECURED SHACK?
: THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO CHECK I'M NOT HAVING A BAD SOUP INDUCED DREAM...
: WINDEX COMING OUT OF THE TV! THIS IS DEFINITELY A NIGHTMARE.
: UNFORTUNATELY IT'S ONE I CAN'T WAKE UP FROM!
: JUST LIKE MY REAL DAD!
: ...SOUNDS HIPPIE. I'LL NEED TO ASCERTAIN WHETHER AN ASSKICKING IS NECESSARY.
: I AM SOLDIER, SCOURGE OF MAGGOTS!
: YOUR DAUGHTER BETTER BE A GRIZZLED WAR VETERAN OLDER THAN YOU THEN!
: WHAT'S THIS? UNCHECKED LOOT? DON'T MIND IF I YOINK.
: I AM SOLDIER, RETRIEVER OF GARBAGE!
: I HEARD YOUR FATHER WAS A HIPPIE. WANNA WATCH SANTA CLAUS GIVE YOUR FATHER A BEATING? I STILL HAVE THE BEARD FROM LAST SMISSMAS!
: I SHOULD BE DAMN FAMOUS BY NOW CONSIDERING HOW MUCH ASSKICKING I HAVE PERFORMED OVER THE YEARS... THIS IS STILL THAT SAME PLACE, RIGHT?
: THAT'S RIGHT! YOU NEED TO GIVE ME AT LEAST 3 HATS AND 10 CONFIRMED KILLS BEFORE I AM WILLING TO CALL YOU ACQUAINTANCE OF WAR.
: WASTE OF TIME AS I THOUGHT. I'LL HAVE TO INTERROGATE SOMEONE ELSE.
: WHOA THERE EINSTEIN. USE REGULAR ENGLISH HERE, I'M ALREADY BARELY LITERATE.
: THAT ONLY KEEPS SOUNDING MORE AND MORE LIKE-
: I KNEW IT, HE'S A HIPPIE! WHERE IS HE? OUTDOORS IS BIG!
: SEEMS SOMEONE IS IN TROUBLE WITH NATURE.
: I DIDN'T KNOW THEY HAD RODEOS HERE.
: WHAT FOR? IT'S A RACCOON! JUST GIVE IT A GOOD PUNT OR BRIBE IT WITH GARBAGE. DAMN HIPPIES.
: THESE ARE FULL! OUTSOURCING YOUR ASSKICKING SO YOU CAN SAY YOU'RE A PACIFIST? STUPID, BUT CLEVER. NOW LET'S SEE HERE...
: I DID NOT ORDER KFC.
: AN AMAZONIAN TREE FROG! THE MEDIC MADE FROG LEGS FOR THE SPY AND WE HAD A CRAB FOR A WEEK.
: I'M NOT SURE WHAT THIS IS BUT I DO NOT LIKE IT.
: ONE OF YOU WILL BE CHOSEN TO BECOME MY BOOT IN THIS GOD FORSAKEN LAND! BUT I HAVE NO IDEA WHICH ONE.
As always, what starter/nickname do I get?