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Author Topic: Smallhands - nearly 40 years and still tiny!  (Read 402560 times)

Spriggans

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Re: Smallhands - a small fort for small computers (small overseers welcome)
« Reply #405 on: June 24, 2020, 03:07:34 am »

Yes. The Tower has some windows.
Myself had these commisionned. The Tower needed to be classy. And classy buildings have windows.

Moreover, I thought it could be... interresting... to let the Necromancer see outside.

For the concern of the overabundance of chickens, I recall we have more food than we can eat right now.
So maybe it is possible to crush-bridge the birds. For time-saving that is. 50ish dwarves won't probably eat that much anayways.


EDIT : And yesss !! The epic drawings are back !! :D
« Last Edit: June 24, 2020, 03:14:23 am by Spriggans »
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[ETHIC:MURDERING_DWARVES:UNTHINKABLE]
[ETHIC:CUTTING_TREES:REQUIRED]
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King Zultan

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Re: Smallhands - a small fort for small computers (small overseers welcome)
« Reply #406 on: June 24, 2020, 06:27:14 am »

But what about the chicken nuggets?


We should turn the fortress into a McDonald and sell the nuggets of chicken to everyone ever!
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

auzewasright

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Re: Smallhands - a small fort for small computers (small overseers welcome)
« Reply #407 on: June 24, 2020, 06:54:12 am »

But what about the chicken nuggets?


We should turn the fortress into a McDonald and sell the nuggets of chicken to everyone ever!
Yes.
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On a fun note, all of the beds just starting disintegrating
By the way, it (my name) is pronounced "ah-zee".

applet

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Re: Smallhands - a small fort for small computers (small overseers welcome)
« Reply #408 on: June 24, 2020, 03:40:24 pm »

But what about the chicken nuggets?


We should turn the fortress into a McDonald and sell the nuggets of chicken to everyone ever!
So long as they are small nuggets..
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Ledpaddled
Meanwhile in the background, some migrant brought a cat! The first cat in Whisperwhip for a few years now, actually. The local population accidentally died of exploding over the years.

After 3 days, the new cat explodes.

delphonso

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Re: Smallhands - a small fort for small computers (small overseers welcome)
« Reply #409 on: June 24, 2020, 08:42:39 pm »

Welcome to Smallhands, home of the Smallhands Slider, may I take your order?

Two kids meals coming up.

(Sorry everyone, I've been super busy lately. Updating the main page now...)
Just want to say - if nogood can't turn things around - I'm really happy with how long Smallhands has lasted and the crazy stories that have come from it. This was wildly successful beyond my loftiest ambitions and I just want to thank all of you for making this possible. You guys are great. Long live Smallhands!
« Last Edit: June 24, 2020, 09:04:39 pm by delphonso »
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Laterigrade

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Re: Smallhands - a small fort for small computers (small overseers welcome)
« Reply #410 on: June 25, 2020, 01:16:48 am »

It’s not over yet, delphonso; hold out hope.

Awesome drawing, Nogood!
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and the quadriplegic toothless vampire killed me effortlessly after that
bool IsARealBoy = false
dropping clothes to pick up armor and then dropping armor to pick up clothes like some sort of cyclical forever-striptease
if a year passes, add one to age; social experiment

auzewasright

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Re: Smallhands - a small fort for small computers (small overseers welcome)
« Reply #411 on: June 29, 2020, 08:39:57 pm »

Bump.
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On a fun note, all of the beds just starting disintegrating
By the way, it (my name) is pronounced "ah-zee".

nogoodnames

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Re: Smallhands - a small fort for small computers (small overseers welcome)
« Reply #412 on: June 29, 2020, 10:20:41 pm »

===+ Journal of the Undying Overseer – Summer 161 +===


9th Galena

With most of my time spent training, I haven’t needed to pay too much attention to the fort’s unending renovations. But now it’s clear that things have gotten quite a bit more complicated. Everything is more spread out and specialized. I’ve had to spend some time taking notes and mapping out where things are. So many random garbage piles… At least the ridiculously long labyrinth has been cleared out and turned into something useful.

I’ve consulted with Salmeuk, our acting chief medical dwarf, on our health crisis. He has counted at least eight dwarves with potentially deadly infections. I’ve made it a top priority to get some soap made and hopefully avert this crisis, though I fear it may be too late for some of them. Lo and behold, we actually have a high master soap maker amongst us, so at least we’ll have quality soap going forward. Of the other ailments, there is little hope for treatment. The fever is supernatural, unleashed upon this land by the Plagues of Flanking and their demon master. There are old tales of those favoured by the gods being miraculously cured, but nothing concrete enough to help us.

In more optimistic news, it seems that the general mood of the fortress is less despondent than I was initially led to believe. There are only five dwarves who look to be dangerously on-edge right now: Rakust, KingZultan, Sigun, Rovod and Auze. Rakust and Rovod are the worst, both having multiple records of disorderly conduct. Rakust is a GraveWarden recruit and has never been good at dealing with stress. I blame myself for not noticing how bad she’d gotten. She apparently killed three dwarves between late winter and early summer, including Lokum, the poor bastard. The records of that time are sketchy, falling in the transitionary period between being ruled by an alpaca and an evil necromancer, so I can’t be sure it wasn’t justified. However, she has expressed no remorse over the deaths and her general attitude clearly makes her a liability. I’m removing her from the squad and confiscating her equipment, with exile being a possibility pending further investigation. Some dwarves just aren’t fit for frontier living.



The others are more deeply integrated into the fort and can’t be simply banished. Fortunately, none of them seem to be beyond help. Most are (rightly!) concerned for their safety given recent events. As long as they get time to relax and stay away from any corpses, they should recover.


The diplomat from the human lands is touring the Silent Hall with her guards, despite it being closed to non-citizens. She has some… interesting adornments.



Something about her puts me on edge. Who knows what dealings she had with Spriggans? And just what kind of seal does she keep? I’ve ordered the crypt to be locked, just in case. The elven diplomat is also still wandering around, but he at least has the courtesy to stick to the public areas.


13th Galena

KingZultan conducted an interrogation of Rakust today. She confessed, but only to a minor fist fight.



Not the admission of dwarfslaughter I was looking for… Still, maybe I can leverage her punishment to keep her away from the fort without resorting to explicit exile. We could use someone to act as our agent in the outside world. Very well, she’ll be the first scout of Smallhands. Maybe some time away will help tame her rage.


14th Galena

Damn, never mind! Apparently, she was closer to the edge than I thought, and our little interview pushed her over. She’s gone completely berserk! To arms dwarves, defend yourselves!



The deed is done. Without her axe, Rakust was only able to inflict a few bruises and broken teeth. Thank the gods for foresight. Two of our legendary warriors arrived on the scene and from there the fight was one-sided and brutal.



Hopefully the others aren’t too affected by seeing her hacked to pieces like that.


Now then, the emergency is over, what else was I going to do? Ah yes, just a little housekeeping.



That never gets old.


24th Galena

Rakust’s body still sits, untouched, near the dog kennel. She’s been assigned a coffin within the main crypt, but it sits empty aside from a few of her teeth. I’ve heard murmurs of “traitors don’t deserve an honorable burial” but the corpse can’t just be left to rot and traumatize everyone passing by. Her dismembered head and limbs have been shoved in the corpse stockpile but apparently putting the torso with them would be too much for some of the hard-liners.

Finally, they agreed to dump the body into a crusher. But perhaps… perhaps she can serve the fort yet. I was going to use her to gather knowledge, I should not overlook such a perfect opportunity for her to fulfil that purpose. Preparations for the experiment chamber were already underway, it won’t be long now.


24th Galena

The military has been sitting stagnant for too long. We’ve been leaderless since Moldath’s death, and many recruits are getting rusty from lack of training. I can’t allow that state to continue. I’ve officially claimed the responsibility of Militia Commander. There will need to be some reorganization of the squads before we can resume full training regimens, but I’ve gone ahead and established a new training area under the main gatehouse skylight for informal drills. If we’re ever going to fight on the surface again, we can’t have the entire militia puking their guts out from the sun. Initial results are… mixed. They’ll acclimate soon enough. May need to remove the cage traps for dueling, though.



Hopefully no one’s allergic to bee stings.


28th Galena

Dumed Laudedfloor, a previously unremarkable and unskilled recruit in the Gravewardens, has created a marvelous glass ring. He seems happier working down in the furnaces than he ever did in training.




13th Limestone

The dwarven caravan has arrived.



Things have been going slowly recently, but I hope to undertake some major restructuring soon. There are just so many things to take care of. In a way, I miss how simple things were when it was just Salmeuk and I.

« Last Edit: June 29, 2020, 10:49:01 pm by nogoodnames »
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Life is, in a word, volcanoes.
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applet

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Re: Smallhands - a small fort for small computers (small overseers welcome)
« Reply #413 on: June 30, 2020, 06:14:44 am »

She apparently killed three dwarves between late winter and early summer, including Lokum, the poor bastard. The records of that time are sketchy, falling in the transitionary period between being ruled by an alpaca and an evil necromancer, so I can’t be sure it wasn’t justified.
I believe at least 1 was killed during my turn.

Also I guess some of the dwarves(?) figured out that an alpaca self assumed overseership - instead of there being one year with no overseer..

Hmm.. might be time for some alpaca "diaries", if still alive?
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Ledpaddled
Meanwhile in the background, some migrant brought a cat! The first cat in Whisperwhip for a few years now, actually. The local population accidentally died of exploding over the years.

After 3 days, the new cat explodes.

King Zultan

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Re: Smallhands - a small fort for small computers (small overseers welcome)
« Reply #414 on: June 30, 2020, 07:43:31 am »

Oh man I've become a sad dwarf, hopefully I don't go insane.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

auzewasright

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Re: Smallhands - a small fort for small computers (small overseers welcome)
« Reply #415 on: June 30, 2020, 10:16:26 am »


The diplomat from the human lands is touring the Silent Hall with her guards, despite it being closed to non-citizens. She has some… interesting adornments.



Something about her puts me on edge. Who knows what dealings she had with Spriggans? And just what kind of seal does she keep? I’ve ordered the crypt to be locked, just in case. The elven diplomat is also still wandering around, but he at least has the courtesy to stick to the public areas.
Spoiler: might be related (click to show/hide)

On another note, the hillocks "Wheelspages" has fallen to the goblins.
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On a fun note, all of the beds just starting disintegrating
By the way, it (my name) is pronounced "ah-zee".

Salmeuk

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Re: Smallhands - a small fort for small computers (small overseers welcome)
« Reply #416 on: June 30, 2020, 09:02:22 pm »

StrikaAmaru- very nice detail on your journal entries. And good work improving fortress odds and ends, like the crafting floor (I don't think it had changed since year 1) and finding a use for that labyrinth.

applet - I read The inner thoughts of an Alpaca and thought, "Yeah this is gonna be good." It was.

Spriggans - cool idea to form comic-strip style journals from screenshots! My only issue was I sometimes had trouble understanding which panel to read next. Your story was more drama than I could ever ask for

It’s probably worth noting that this fortress and its population is essentially irreplaceable. No pressure.

hahaha

Quote
On the item is an image of 'Salmeuk' Paintedchewed the dwarf and tables in green glass. 'Salmeuk' Paintedchewed is surrounded by the tables.

oh god not the TABLES!


I'm liking the drawings Nogood. Sorry for my absence for a while, but I just caught myself up to the action.

..

Applet, it's too bad that wasn't a REAL dragon. I got excited not gonna lie
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nogoodnames

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Re: Smallhands - a small fort for small computers (small overseers welcome)
« Reply #417 on: June 30, 2020, 10:01:40 pm »

===+ Journal of the Undying Overseer – Autumn 161 +===


19th Sandstone

Everything is in place for the experiment, but… do I really want to do this? My unlife was an accident, a twist of fate that turned out to be a blessing. Do I have the right to impose that kind of existence on another dwarf? If I do this, am I any better than the foul necromancers in their tower? Things were so much easier back when I lacked emotion.

No, we dwarves have always done what we must to survive in a hostile world. If we can learn to turn this abominable power back on its wielders, we owe it to everyone lost during the bad years to do so.







Nothing.

Maybe the body is too damaged or too rotten. The lack of a head may be a problem. Or maybe the necromancer has guessed our ploy and refuses to go along with it. Or perhaps the puppy we tied up in the adjacent cell just isn’t enough motivation to draw out his magic…



This is a disappointment. Although in some ways, I am relieved.

Now that I take a better look at the necromancer, I recognize him! Yes, there’s no mistaking it, despite his disgracefully shaven face. We have captured Kol Namedpillars, former king of the dwarves! I remember him visiting our hillocks when I was just a boy! Oh, how far you’ve fallen…

Well, if he won’t cooperate there’s not much we can do. Perhaps a few months locked in a cell with a yapping pup will make him reconsider. On to other matters.

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Life is, in a word, volcanoes.
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Laterigrade

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Re: Smallhands - a small fort for small computers (small overseers welcome)
« Reply #418 on: July 01, 2020, 05:08:01 am »

This is like the systematic mermaid slaughter all over again. Thank Armok it didn’t work, or to curse dwarves to twisted unlife so that they can serve us beyond death will be the practice of the Dwarf Fortress community forevermore! Or until Toady patches it out.
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and the quadriplegic toothless vampire killed me effortlessly after that
bool IsARealBoy = false
dropping clothes to pick up armor and then dropping armor to pick up clothes like some sort of cyclical forever-striptease
if a year passes, add one to age; social experiment

King Zultan

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Re: Smallhands - a small fort for small computers (small overseers welcome)
« Reply #419 on: July 01, 2020, 07:06:30 am »

The art really adds to the updates, especially that last picture.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?
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