Smallhands: Year 164Winter=Journal of Reg Pickcrab=(definitely not 12000 bees in a trench coat)
We learned a new word this week: delegate. It means someone else does your job for you but you still get the credit. Dwarven society never ceases to amaze.
Nogood came rushing out of the garbage disposal saying "Uh oh. Very bad! Very bad!" Then started pulling levers in a panic. I assumed this was normal, so I joined him. When we all calmed down, Nogood explained...
The experiment was a failure. Phonso was risen without a soul, and would mindlessly attack any members of the hive. Concerned by this, I ordered him to be caged and put in the zoo.
Nogood didn't seem to like that. I guess he was also upset that the experiment failed. Don't worry, Nogood - we'll try again. This time with...that one.
-=-=-=-
After-action report of Ast Gildduty, Captain of the Swamp Hunters
Delegated to me by Military Commander Nogood
Delegated to Nogood by Overseer Reg
The goblins arrived early this month. Overseer Reg turned into a cloud of bees the instant the siege warning went up, leaving behind his coat. We have placed it in his bedroom for when he returns.
Early reports of the siege were optimistic. A small contingent of mounted goblins approached from the Northwest.
However as more came over the hillside, we realized the peril we were in. More and more goblins on beakdogs arrived in waves, filling the Northwestern region of the map.
Swamp Hunter Tholtig was the first to notice the true threat: trolls.
And then they just kept coming.
The enormous goblin force stood for a moment near the mug, giving the dwarves time to seal off the fortress proper. Swamp Hunters made moves to the barricades to fire down on the goblins.
However, it wasn't long before the trolls ripped the doors and windows off of the Towering Tankard. The enemy forces rushed into the first level of the fort - Furniture Storage and Animal Pasture. We weren't fast enough to save the animals...
The goblin forces amassed near the stockpile and planned their next move. We, foolishly, relaxed.
It is not clear what drove them to do it, but Kib swears she saw the Human Guild Representative Gal run down the fortress and then up the pump-stack trying to escape during the siege. The goblins understood immediately that this meant there was a way into the fort there. The trolls dismantled the pump stack on the way down.
Kib attempted to keep the Guild Representative safe and distracted the goblin forces, pulling them all the way down the pump stack to the bottom. Although the pump stack was destroyed, this gave us time to build walls to prevent any point of entry we missed before.
The final wall would block off Kib and guarantee their death. Kib got the message and moved out well before the wall was started. Gal, on the other hand, kept going back and forth between the fortress and the goblins - even encouraging them to follow him toward the fort proper.
The tactical decision to wall him and his maceman outside the fortress to be killed by the goblins fell to Nogood. No objections were made. With the wall made, a majority of the goblin force left. Their trolls stayed behind to continue destruction. Some had approached the fortress from the North in the hallway of cage traps. The Gravewardens rushed out to meet them.
Special commendations go to Ducim the Gravewarden who was unstoppable on the battlefield.
The siege was lifted. The end results were 2 known deaths and the loss of an alpaca. Two cats were punched to death by goblins and a blackbear was ripped apart by beakdogs. The aftermath of clean up is underway currently. Thus ends my report.
-=-=-=-
It feels great to be out of that coat, just letting it all hang out, as they say. Out here in the open air - on the surface after so long. Why are all the dwarves vomiting? They must be very excited.
Very excited indeed! Recon ran off to a clothier's shop while the other dwarves ran around picking up dead goblins and trolls. Several cages need reloading as well. I let Logum out of the trash compactor and instead offered the fallen from the battle as experiments. Lo and behold!
It's basically like I didn't get anyone killed.
Recon made a nice glove. Unfortunately, I don't have hands, otherwise I would try it on. The second dead body was placed in front of the necromancer and nothing is happening. I believe the only thing to do is to wait. More importantly, it is almost the end of winter, meaning a new overseer will be in charge.
Vabok very quickly wanted to get back into the citizen lifestyle, so I allowed him to.
Things are looking great here! I did a great job.
-=-=-=-
OOC:
Things are terrible. I did a bad job.
King Zultan is very very upset. She got pulled out into the sun during the conflict, watched someone die, then got attacked by a honey badger a few times. She could use some rest and relaxation.
There is a dead body next to the Necromancer-Cyclops combo. The shutters are currently open (you'll see whenever the miasma puffs out.) That body was taken to the corpse stockpile before being dumped in front of the necromancer. If they are never rezzed - this might give us more information about how this whole mechanic works. The door near the cage-trap is locked, if it comes back as a corpse, just unlock that door and it'll path into the cage and be a new addition to the zoo.
There are a lot of dead things around, everyone has been exposed to the sun again. Also a quarter of our military was captured in the necromancer's tower. The pumpstack was ruined, the Towering Tankard is wide open, and the fort is filled with walls from my panicking. I am truly and genuinely sorry for dumping this on you, but the siege started a month into winter.
Good luck, StrikaAmaru, and sorry applet for your loss.
The save is here! Little does Strika know that this is my 4D chess strategy to slow him down for the Numbercurse competition.
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Topic: Smallhands - nearly 40 years and still tiny! (Read 408223 times)