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[delphonso]

Well well well, I leave for a couple days and then this is what I find - some of the best damn posts in Smallhands history. Bravo both of you!

Strika, I'll update the roster and main post after the weekend when I have my computer again, glad to have you back.

[Radiofort]

I'll update the roster and main post after the weekend when I have my computer again

Then sign me in too, please. I'm eager to find out what we'll be able to do when/if Ikud will be banished into Underworld.

[BluarianKnight]

Gimme a turn too!

[recon1o6]

Musings of the tavern keeper: its certainly a challenge trying to throw an artifact into magma when you can't dump or forbid the damn thing and dont want to sacrifice a dwarf, plus if I construct it somewhere then it will wont melt.

the only way I can really think how to do it is making a stockpile connected to a support beam and triggering it remotely. I've never used supports before so this will be a new one for me.

To the wiki!


also bluarian you have been dorfed

[recon1o6]

Journal of the Tavern Keeper Overseer 7th of Slate 175

When I got back to Smallhands a month ago, I found that about 70% of the fort was drinking or eating. It appears they threw a party ahead of schedule. While I don't dispute we deserved one I did find it surprising how many partook in the celebrations. Unfortunately, this also made it very frustrating to get any actual work done. I spent hours just trying to get anybody with a pickaxe to go down and dig out the Tall Bar's magma tunnel only for all of them to complain about "Not accessible"

What a load of elf crap. There's a ramp and most importantly, the water was pumped out!

Still, bottoms up, tonight we destroy this slab! Stint as the one who grabbed it you do the honours!
------------

A strawberry wine stain covers the parchment

Begrudgingly...after Salmeuk politely informed me that artifacts are not eligible for dumping I have elected not to toss the slab into the magma. While I am frustrated by this turn of events, I am not ready to quit just yet. If we can't dump it officially then I will arrange another method...Salmeuk! Grab your pickaxe, I got a new place for you to dig while stairs are built in the magma tunnel!

At least we had some good news. Baby bunnies!


Journal of the Tavern Keeper Overseer 23rd of Felsite 175

Its a rare dwarf that knows the functions of a support pillar. We dwarves build our tunnels and structures so well that a mere bar of soap can lift a mountain unlike those human mines that have so many structural weaknesses its a wonder they even make it 5 foot into the rock.

I had a pint of Overseer's Motivator while looking over various legal documents and dwarven engineering papers when suddenly the idea hit me- I could kill two elves with one bolt by dropping a room containing the slab into the magma sea. It would bury the slab far down in the depths where its hottest and it technically does not count as dumping!

This required a support pillar to hold up the floor containing a slab and a lever to collapse it into the abyss.



After a month of toil and well deserved booze, salmeuk dug out this 3x3 room while Avuz actually proved his worth as a mayor for once and set an example by channeling beneath Salmeuk except for the southern most tile.

I had a lever installed and a clear glass window manufactured in the room west of this one. Why overseer Radiofort thought that we needed fuel fired kilns up there when we had perfectly good magma glass kilns and sand supplies down here is beyond me. Granted the stairs down to the lower levels of the fort are a maze so its not out of the question he never found them or got bored and went for a drink.


Finally, I had a 1x1 stockpile designated in Salmeuk's half and after it was placed, had Avuz channel away the access. Then came the annoying part.

3 weeks
3 WEEKS it took to install the pillar! I had a celebratory drink but it was too soon as it took another week for Quarque to install the mechanisms

I then had one final drink and marched down to the lever room head held high.


When I arrived I sipped from my platinum flask and enjoyed the view of the magma sea through the window. Golden and red, flowing through the land, providing it with life and heat. The perfect weapon to dispose of cold deathly magic. I didn't need to turn around to know that the rattling waiting behind me was Quasar, no doubt insane and more than likely being possessed. I predicted her disappearance was to the corner of this room.

She was babbling. A demonic tongue of the horrors beyond. Funny how this is a reverse of a situation we had just last year. I had learnt from her mistakes and waited for her to make the first move, looking at her reflection in my flask. It showed she had a purple glow in her eyes.

Quasar slowly and shakily raised a dagger in her less stiched hand and struck. The wall that is. I twisted round grabbing the wrist and used her ghoulish strength against her and caused the blade to get stuck. A swift kick to the leg and she stumbled down. She pulled the dagger from the wall and turned to face me.

Right as I pulled the lever



A resounding crash echoed through the fortress. The dust coalescing against the window. Quasar's head snapped to the window and an ethereal shriek emanated from her as I stood next to the lever grinning in triumph.

"Its over."

Quasar kneeled there motionless after she stopped shrieking. I went over to the window to watch the magma plumes raise in the air amidst the dust. Still I didn't expect a response, and with her own voice too. Raspy and fearful...yet hopeful.

"Its quieter?"

She stared at me then departed, the glow vanisged. I gazed back at the magma then followed suit.

[Radiofort]

So? Did it work? Or, if more correctly, did it work properly?

Btw, as far as I recall correctly, Avuz is actually a girl (though I called her guy in my first post due to distraction).

[recon1o6]

yes, the slab has fallen into the magma, as has the rest of the room

[delphonso]

Btw, as far as I recall correctly, Avuz is actually a girl (though I called her guy in my first post due to distraction).

It seems most of the named dwarves are ladies - either a coincidence or Smallhands has a far higher number of women than men.

A momentous occasion - Smallhands destroyed a slab. Surely this means drinks for everyone!

[QuQuasar]

Its a rare dwarf that knows the functions of a support pillar. We dwarves build our tunnels and structures so well that a mere bar of soap can lift a mountain unlike those human mines that have so many structural weaknesses its a wonder they even make it 5 foot into the rock.

I like the idea that single-support fortresses are not some ridiculous physics-defying blasphemy against structural integrity, but they just seem that way to us humans because we are so fucking bad at basic construction that we get astounded by utterly mundane things.

And considering that some people think the pyramids must have been built by aliens, perhaps that's not too far off...

Finally, I had a 1x1 stockpile designated in Salmeuk's half and after it was placed, had Avuz channel away the access. Then came the annoying part.

3 weeks
3 WEEKS it took to install the pillar! I had a celebratory drink but it was too soon as it took another week for Quarque to install the mechanisms

The only way I ever got anything specific dumped or hauled was to turn off all hauling that wasn't refuse/furniture hauling. Unfortunately, that just meant that while everyone was dumping shoes all the other types of hauling in this accursed place were multiplying exponentially.
 
Basically what I'm saying is, good luck with that. :thumbsup:

Quasar slowly and shakily raised a dagger in her less stiched hand and struck. The wall that is. I twisted round grabbing the wrist and used her ghoulish strength against her and caused the blade to get stuck. A swift kick to the leg and she stumbled down. She pulled the dagger from the wall and turned to face me.

Quasar is proper harmless at this point, so I'm going to put that one down to Ikud getting desperate. Bloody iguana. Need to give it a proper seeing to now that we've broken it's link to the underworld.

Was she actually down there in-game? Because that would be the first time I've seen her babbling anywhere except the crafting floor.

[Spriggans]

The slab has been detroyed !
The ennemy feels it.
It knows. In their minds, the goblins have been weakened.
It's time to attack...

... Or just celebrate and join Recon to the tavern !!! The first round's on him !

[recon1o6]

The only way I ever got anything specific dumped or hauled was to turn off all hauling that wasn't refuse/furniture hauling. Unfortunately, that just meant that while everyone was dumping shoes all the other types of hauling in this accursed place were multiplying exponentially.

I got this item and ONLY this item stored by making a custom stockpile with conditions earthernware>minimum level artifact>slabs only. Stin actually used it as a misc object weapon in training before the stockpile was ready.

Quasar is proper harmless at this point, so I'm going to put that one down to Ikud getting desperate. Bloody iguana. Need to give it a proper seeing to now that we've broken it's link to the underworld.

Was she actually down there in-game? Because that would be the first time I've seen her babbling anywhere except the crafting floor.

That was the intention, hence the strange glow around her. She wasn't down there, but she I found her in the cavern access at one point so she has moved.

It seems most of the named dwarves are ladies - either a coincidence or Smallhands has a far higher number of women than men.

A momentous occasion - Smallhands destroyed a slab. Surely this means drinks for everyone!

You are correct, a lot of smallhands' currently alive overseers are female. Note how I said currently alive given this fort's track record. Though on this occasion the last mayor Avuz that I looked at was male, so its not out of the question that he died and then got replaced by Avuz the lady

and yes, copiuous amounts of drinking will happen

[Radiofort]

If slab is actually melted and if it's destruction banished Ikud back to Underworld, then we have a reason to drink like crazy (maybe even IRL too, hah). On the other hand, a negative result still would be a result, though much less appreciated.

Heck, I think Smallhands already provided more !!SCIENCE!! for all community than any other succession fortress, yet it still provides more and more. And that's awesome.

You are correct, a lot of smallhands' currently alive overseers are female. Note how I said currently alive given this fort's track record. Though on this occasion the last mayor Avuz that I looked at was male, so its not out of the question that he died and then got replaced by Avuz the lady

So, as far as we know, swamp illness' symptomes may include slight fever, brain melting and occasional gender swap. That... explains a lot.

[King Zultan]

Huzza the slab is gone!

[recon1o6]

I swear sometimes that writing these posts is harder than playing the game.

[Radiofort]

I swear sometimes that writing these posts is harder than playing the game.

Brofist. Especially in foreign language.