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Author Topic: Job simulator - RTD  (Read 979 times)

Aigre Excalibur

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Job simulator - RTD
« on: February 11, 2020, 02:47:30 pm »

EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES.

Please submit your resume with the following details:

Quote from: resume
---

Name:

About Yourself:

Position Applied for:

Education:

Skills:

Relevant Experience:

Desired Salary:

---
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Never ever cease communication with your enemies, never ever cease interaction with them, never isolate yourself from them. Never ignore them, relish the time to deal with them, to exercise banter. The biggest mistake one can make is ignoring one's enemies. Go out of your way to pick a fight today.

0cra_tr0per

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Re: Job simulator - RTD
« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2020, 04:29:37 pm »

Name: Yes

About Yourself: Yes

Position Applied for: Yes

Education: Yes

Skills: Yes

Relevant Experience: Yes

Desired Salary: Yes
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Naturegirl1999

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Re: Job simulator - RTD
« Reply #2 on: February 11, 2020, 06:37:53 pm »

Quote from: resume
---

Name: Zorp-Zorp

About Yourself: I am a Lorba. I am different from humans in that I inhale methane and exhale dihydrogen molecules. I also have 4 limbs you would call arms. The arms resemble yours, but our arms have 3 fingers instead if 5. Our arms are analogous to the tentacles of your cephalapods. My skin would be what you might call orange scales. I am similar to humans in that I also have two legs, however my legs appear like the legs of your corvids. I am also similar in that I have 2 eyes. They are orange and they are positioned to the side of my mouth which is at the front of my head and is in the shape of a square when opened. I was able to learn the language you use the most with other groups because it seems to be the most used language across different sections of your planet. We come from Zorclon 5, which is 2 stars from your solar system. I was placed in a stasis pod and was sent here to figure out more about this planet because of the large amounts of methane here. They sent me since I was able to breed creatures that can tolerate nitrogen, since your atmosphere is full of it. Unfortunately, the creatures were too big to fit in the stasis pods, so they are still at Zorclon 5. Your planet has something called a currency, which seems to be a universal trade item. There are things called jobs that are working for currency to then buy things. I wonder if I could get a job working with your planet's creatures.

Position Applied for: Breeder

Education: 4 years of Life Studies

Skills: Can breed creatures, can recieve communication Zorclon 5, can translate from English to Zoran and Zaron and vica versa.
Relevant Experience: I have worked on adapting life forms to various conditions, I have adapted a group of my pets to survive your planet's high nitrogen content.

Desired Salary: Any, so long as it is something

---
(If this is too wordy I can deword it somewhat. (is deword a word? if not, I can make it one, as human languages have a habit of changing :D))
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Aigre Excalibur

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Re: Job simulator - RTD
« Reply #3 on: February 11, 2020, 10:47:03 pm »

Name: Yes

About Yourself: Yes

Position Applied for: Yes

Education: Yes

Skills: Yes

Relevant Experience: Yes

Desired Salary: Yes

(2) - No.

Quote from: resume
---

Name: Zorp-Zorp

About Yourself: I am a Lorba. I am different from humans in that I inhale methane and exhale dihydrogen molecules. I also have 4 limbs you would call arms. The arms resemble yours, but our arms have 3 fingers instead if 5. Our arms are analogous to the tentacles of your cephalapods. My skin would be what you might call orange scales. I am similar to humans in that I also have two legs, however my legs appear like the legs of your corvids. I am also similar in that I have 2 eyes. They are orange and they are positioned to the side of my mouth which is at the front of my head and is in the shape of a square when opened. I was able to learn the language you use the most with other groups because it seems to be the most used language across different sections of your planet. We come from Zorclon 5, which is 2 stars from your solar system. I was placed in a stasis pod and was sent here to figure out more about this planet because of the large amounts of methane here. They sent me since I was able to breed creatures that can tolerate nitrogen, since your atmosphere is full of it. Unfortunately, the creatures were too big to fit in the stasis pods, so they are still at Zorclon 5. Your planet has something called a currency, which seems to be a universal trade item. There are things called jobs that are working for currency to then buy things. I wonder if I could get a job working with your planet's creatures.

Position Applied for: Breeder

Education: 4 years of Life Studies

Skills: Can breed creatures, can recieve communication Zorclon 5, can translate from English to Zoran and Zaron and vica versa.
Relevant Experience: I have worked on adapting life forms to various conditions, I have adapted a group of my pets to survive your planet's high nitrogen content.

Desired Salary: Any, so long as it is something

---
(If this is too wordy I can deword it somewhat. (is deword a word? if not, I can make it one, as human languages have a habit of changing :D))

(4) Congratulations on your new job as test subject cum breeding stock. (6) You will be paid $10,000 Earth dollars a month! Your duties involve breathing air and being exposed to earth creatures until reproduction occurs.
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Never ever cease communication with your enemies, never ever cease interaction with them, never isolate yourself from them. Never ignore them, relish the time to deal with them, to exercise banter. The biggest mistake one can make is ignoring one's enemies. Go out of your way to pick a fight today.

Naturegirl1999

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Re: Job simulator - RTD
« Reply #4 on: February 11, 2020, 10:56:20 pm »

“not quite what I expected but ok” try to learn about the creatures from Earth
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King Zultan

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Re: Job simulator - RTD
« Reply #5 on: February 12, 2020, 10:28:30 am »

Name: Durg

About Yourself: He's a hyena man with a fancy hat and clothing, there isn't much else to say about him.

Position Applied for: Carpenter

Education: Learned how to work with wood and that's it.

Skills: Is good at all kinds of wood working.

Relevant Experience: Has made some furniture.

Desired Salary: All of the money.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

0cra_tr0per

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Re: Job simulator - RTD
« Reply #6 on: February 12, 2020, 11:56:47 am »

Name: No

About Yourself: No

Position Applied for: No

Education: No

Skills: No

Relevant Experience: No

Desired Salary: No

(4) Congratulations on your new job as test subject cum breeding stock. (6) You will be paid $10,000 Earth dollars a month! Your duties involve breathing air and being exposed to earth creatures until reproduction occurs.

Sigged, also UPDATE DAT FUKKIN HOUSE DEFENSE RTD
« Last Edit: February 12, 2020, 12:01:49 pm by 0cra_tr0per »
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coalboat

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Re: Job simulator - RTD
« Reply #7 on: February 12, 2020, 12:29:09 pm »

Name: Mike Pete Leland

About Yourself: I have a positive attitude, strong interest in research, and an eye for detail
Proactive and self-motivated
Ability to interact with many levels and deal with issues in a professional manner (excellent interpersonal skills to facilitate effective communication across teams)
Ability to work in a Team as well as independently
Ability to prioritize, multi-task, and deliver with regard to work deadlines, SLA’s, and targets

Position Applied for: Fish collector

Education: Pescator of Art ICTHU

Skills: fishing, fish cleaning, driving woscot, bubble-bubble

Relevant Experience: Three years tilapia herding in Pearl River Estuary

Desired Salary: 5k+
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syvarris

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Re: Job simulator - RTD
« Reply #8 on: February 14, 2020, 03:56:52 pm »

Name: Actual President, Donald J. Trump

About Yourself:  "I'm the best.  I'm smart, I'm tough, I'm a guy who's very strong, I've got everything.  Nobody has as much as me, nobody is as great as me, that's why I'm applying for this job, I'll do it tremendously well.  Nobody else can do it as well as I can, I'll make this job great."

Position Applied for: President, but this time forever.

Education: Tremendous.

Skills:
--Unparalleled businessing
--Incredible communication skills
--Twittering
--World-class golfer
--Immunity to whining losers and fake news
--The Classiest Personality
--The Best Hotels
--Winning


Relevant Experience:
--Already proven to be the best American president EVER

Desired Salary: Zero!

The Canadian kitten

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Re: Job simulator - RTD
« Reply #9 on: February 15, 2020, 02:26:41 am »

Name: Joe

About Yourself: A man who needs to pay his bills but, never ends up paying for it.

Position Applied for: Anything! As long it's not shovelling poop

Education: A random useless degree from a non-existant university

Skills: Taking up random jobs and ending up in weird situations

Relevant Experience: Somehow becoming a prophet, and Killing people

Desired Salary: 500
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"Communism is not the solution, Great Leader Joe!" People sing across the streets. Before Joe can realise what's going on Joeville becomes a generous and  sharing Nazi state, with all the non-believers of Joe shall be purged, since they are spiritually inferior.

Aigre Excalibur

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Re: Job simulator - RTD
« Reply #10 on: February 21, 2020, 03:25:31 am »

“not quite what I expected but ok” try to learn about the creatures from Earth

(4) You learn that most of the dominant species on earth are obsessed with reproduction. They mate or think about mating or watch actors mate even when not trying to produce offspring. It is a major preoccupation for them.

Name: Durg

About Yourself: He's a hyena man with a fancy hat and clothing, there isn't much else to say about him.

Position Applied for: Carpenter

Education: Learned how to work with wood and that's it.

Skills: Is good at all kinds of wood working.

Relevant Experience: Has made some furniture.

Desired Salary: All of the money.

(5) You start as a carpenter making ornate cruxifixes. You expect to earn $5000 this month.

Name: Mike Pete Leland

About Yourself: I have a positive attitude, strong interest in research, and an eye for detail
Proactive and self-motivated
Ability to interact with many levels and deal with issues in a professional manner (excellent interpersonal skills to facilitate effective communication across teams)
Ability to work in a Team as well as independently
Ability to prioritize, multi-task, and deliver with regard to work deadlines, SLA’s, and targets

Position Applied for: Fish collector

Education: Pescator of Art ICTHU

Skills: fishing, fish cleaning, driving woscot, bubble-bubble

Relevant Experience: Three years tilapia herding in Pearl River Estuary

Desired Salary: 5k+

(4) You get a job as an aquarium technician. It pays $2000 a month.

Name: Actual President, Donald J. Trump

About Yourself:  "I'm the best.  I'm smart, I'm tough, I'm a guy who's very strong, I've got everything.  Nobody has as much as me, nobody is as great as me, that's why I'm applying for this job, I'll do it tremendously well.  Nobody else can do it as well as I can, I'll make this job great."

Position Applied for: President, but this time forever.

Education: Tremendous.

Skills:
--Unparalleled businessing
--Incredible communication skills
--Twittering
--World-class golfer
--Immunity to whining losers and fake news
--The Classiest Personality
--The Best Hotels
--Winning


Relevant Experience:
--Already proven to be the best American president EVER

Desired Salary: Zero!

(3) You do nothing much for the first 4 years or so. The budget to build a wall keeps getting blocked. You alienate most of your trade partners as well as your traditional military allies. China runs all over you and expands its interests, through loans and political pressure while the free world is focused on your media antics. You do however, survive impeachment. That's a partial success right there.

Name: Joe

About Yourself: A man who needs to pay his bills but, never ends up paying for it.

Position Applied for: Anything! As long it's not shovelling poop

Education: A random useless degree from a non-existant university

Skills: Taking up random jobs and ending up in weird situations

Relevant Experience: Somehow becoming a prophet, and Killing people

Desired Salary: 500

(5) You gather a cult following of hobos. They donate heaps of thrash to your cause.

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Never ever cease communication with your enemies, never ever cease interaction with them, never isolate yourself from them. Never ignore them, relish the time to deal with them, to exercise banter. The biggest mistake one can make is ignoring one's enemies. Go out of your way to pick a fight today.

coalboat

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Re: Job simulator - RTD
« Reply #11 on: February 21, 2020, 03:51:29 am »

Code: [Select]
Get to work early and swim with beluga
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Aigre Excalibur

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Re: Job simulator - RTD
« Reply #12 on: February 21, 2020, 03:54:33 am »

Code: [Select]
Get to work early and swim with beluga

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Money: 0

(3) You arrive late for work on your first day and receive a scolding. Don't you know that your time belongs to someone else. They pay you and therefore they deserve to control you.
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Never ever cease communication with your enemies, never ever cease interaction with them, never isolate yourself from them. Never ignore them, relish the time to deal with them, to exercise banter. The biggest mistake one can make is ignoring one's enemies. Go out of your way to pick a fight today.

King Zultan

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Re: Job simulator - RTD
« Reply #13 on: February 21, 2020, 04:07:34 am »

Keep making those crucifixes to make that money.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

Naturegirl1999

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Re: Job simulator - RTD
« Reply #14 on: February 21, 2020, 06:25:39 am »

Attempt production of mating fluids
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