Even before you enter the museum you see a masterfully decorated monument in the central courtyard of the castle:
Monument to NoGoodNames The monuments inscription reads: "All hail NoGoodNames. Using divine intervention, Nogoodnames single handedly defeated over 2.5 billion undead in the year 749, thereby saving our world from certain destruction"
The museum has been open for four centuries. The amount of treasures it has hoarded have to be seen to be believed. There is hardly a free space in the central building of the keep. Only a small part of the submissions have been officially catalogued.
Maybe just as interesting as the items in the museum are the visitors and curators. Recently the museum's curator, a goblin bandit leader that was pretending to be a slave, has run off. If you are lucky however you may see one of the adventurers that submitted items to the museum. Many are still around.
The following items have been submitted to the museum:
1:
A pig tail cap. This cap, the commoner’s crown, was worn by Etur Equallashed, king of the dwarven empire of the Walled Dye, before he came out of hiding to reclaim his empire. (submitted by Bralbaard)
2:
The skull of Oddom Girdergrove This is the skull of the master necromancer that raised an undead army that completely razed the elven and dwarven lands and most of the civilized world several centuries ago. The world has still not recovered from this tragedy, but now that Oddom is gone, there is hope (Submitted by Emilovich)
3:
A pile of skulls These are the trophies of the black mamba man hunter, Kom ‘QD’ Uzinithbi.(Submitted by Quantum Drop)
4:
A bag of loot from Diptrampled The bag contains a large harlequin cut opal, a large rose cut resin opal and some weapons. Submitted by Dwarvenlord
5:
"Heavenheathers the Fair Peace", a perfect wood opal A wood opal: The remains of a fossilized tree, turned into gemstone by the earth itself. An unknown artist changed this gem into a priceless artifact. It was brought here from the human town of Strifefularmor by the adventurer Abpa Glitterirons (TheFlame52)
6:
A steel anvil Submitted by Bralbaard, this is a steel anvil from Healerlashes. Before Bralbaard visited Healerlashes and brought back this anvil, it was thought that the civilisation of the Staff of Kissing had gone extinct. This anvil is proof that this dwarven tribe is still alive.
7:
Stargaze the Knowledge of Worlds Submitted by Tonnot98. This is a collection of star charts and astronomy books. Could it really be true that there are infinite numbers of randomly generated worlds out there?
8:
The skull throne submitted by Quantum drop who collected the skulls of the mightiest creatures in the world and piled them up into this mighty throne. You could theoretically sit on it, but what curse would you call upon yourself by doing so? The following skulls are included:
Ten Night Troll skulls, of various species.
Two Roc skulls.
One Titan skull (and one corpse).
Twenty-One Demon skulls (Nine Gila Monster Brute, nine Kinglet Monster, three One-Eyed Brute. The others didn't leave skulls, as they were either steam or ash-based.)
Sixteen Chaotic Messenger Skulls (Angel, Warrior caste).
One Doom of Midor Head Ash (Archangel head, counting it as a skull).
9:
The Necromancer's Library This book collection was donated by the Necromancer Glloyd AncientBorn the Round. Despite it's origins, the museum can assure visitors that the books are safe to read. The best works in this collection were written by Glloyd himself.
10:
A chalk rock from the peak of the Intricate Horns of Vanishment Galka Fancyrocks (TheFlame52) brought back several priceless artifacts from The Iron Deep, but decided to make this rock from the mysterious island peak "The Intricate Horns of Vanishment" her official submission.
11:
The Throne of Knowledge This throne, constructed from ancient tomes and books, with a fitting crone and spear, is known as the throne of knowledge. It draws an entirely different audience than the skull throne. Submitted by Erush Mörulvel (Tasoth)
12:
A set of forty diviniation dice Roll these dice, if you dare, but remember what the stakes are. Collected by Onol Sashasistam (Imic)
13:
A barrel with feathers from the elven mother tree The lion tamarin man Raki Umberclan (Bralbaard) sumbitted this just before he snapped and went stark raving mad.
14:
Poisons might help Pik and Desli (Eric Blank) submitted a number of trophies from their adventures: a number of skulls and a book named "poisons might help".
15:
The last vampires blood Quantum Drop slew the last vampire that inhabited this world, the museum now has this foul beasts blood on display: The proof that these hideous creatures are now finally gone, forever. Recently it was noted that the containers were not as full as before. The museum staff mantains that it must have evaporated.
16:
A facak It's a violin like string instrument from Omon Obin(Realm of Silver), not much is known about who submitted this instrument and why. (submitted by LuckyOwl)
17:
Four of the seven parts of the soul of Dreamypuzzled the Eternal It is said that Dreamypuzzled donatated these blood-soaked parts of his soul to the museum, and that he still has the other three. Each part of his soul is stored in an artefact weapon, each responsible for at least a 100 murders. Rumours say that Dreamypuzzled is still out there, and that he will return if he has killed enough people with the remaining parts of his soul, and that he will then finish his dark ritual to unite his soul.
18:
The hands of the Necromancer Hob Tileddoctrines It is said that the necromancer is still "alive" and that Yarlig left him crippled and defenseless in his tower
19:
A dragon bone bracelet Doñas Silenttowers defeated the mighty dragon Faci Glowgilds the Bejeweled, and carved this bracelet from it's bones. Bralbaard Hammerfishes found the bracelet decades later and submitted it to the museum. (Submitted by Eric Blank/Bralbaard)
20:
Better nature, a cat parchment scroll Fidale Umberrazors left this scroll in the museum to lecture visitors about the value of nature. Though Fidale was clearly elf-raised, he was also unmistakingly a goblin, which is clear from the fact that this scroll was written on the skin of a dead cat.
21:
Heart of Egu Craftlenses the Key of Trading Some say that the heart still beats if you listen closely. It is stored within the masterwork adamantine sarcophagus ‘Heartstolen the Furious Doomed Demon’. Submitted by Quantum Drop
22:
The ash and shell of Nithari Clashedseduce the Hideous. This forgotten beast that nearly wiped out the Staff of Kissing when it destroyed their original mountainhome, submitted by Nogoodnames.
23:
The Sun Sets on Hug Pik and Desli (Eric Blank) submitted a number of stories from their latest adventure, this quaint story was apparently raided from a necromancer tower.
24:
Ligircaspa Osmahegesh / Clearingheaven the Quiescent Heather a legendary anhydrite amulet, an Omon Obin relic dating from 458. It was rescued from the heart of Omon Obin by Lurker "Lockkingdom" Onecbehal in fear it would be tainted by its fell rulers. As of 879 the artifact appears to be missing from the museum collection, and travellers have reported it has been returned to Entrancegrape.
25:
A bar of steel Steel; the mytical dwarven metal. It was long thought amongst alchemist that the secret to production of this metal had been lost, but now the dwarven foundries are once again producing this elusive metal. (submitted by Imic)
26:
The Horns of Ngaxa Slaughterssucked the Assaulted torn from the head of the last minotaur of Orid Xem by Nethrez Rampartspiral the Quick Tunnel of Mining with his bare hands. The minotaur himself is still alive, albeit missing his horns, his pride, and (possibly) his eyes.(submitted by Quantum Drop)
27:
The carcass of Amazetones the Sunken Ways the undead sea serpent The museum has the remains of many land creatures among it's submissions, but little is known about what lives in the sea. This monstrosity was submitted by Yarlig, it shows that the world below the waves is as dangerous as the continent itself.
28:
660 Bone figurines of Bekdil Wavetwist There is a tale of deep sorrow and remorse behind this submission. Submitted by Galka Kinddrummed (Unraveller).
29:
The one-tonne steel helmet (and steel breastplate) of Handbane the Legendary Slayer of Bugs If you are large enough to wear this armor, anything looks like a bug. Submitted by Quantum Drop.
30:
A set of gold armor This set of gold armor once belonged to a decadent crime lord from Rackripe.(submitted by Erik Blank)
31:
a pile of 78 demon corpses stacked on a birchen pedestal on the top floor of the museum; some dark magic must prevent the birchen pedestal from collapsing under the weight. (submitted by Quantum Drop)
32:
The trophies of the ancient Calovi Morningwhisker the Windy Beans Rocs are considered an endangered species these days, it is only in the museum were you can come close to these mighty beasts. The mighty rock Calovi was slain by Moldath Mournsaints, he submitted Calovi's skull, blood and heart to the museum, as well as an unhatched egg. (submitted by Kesperan)
33:
"The eyes of the white dragon" Nirmek was a strange cave dragon that came to the surface and joined civilisation. He ruled from a bandit camp in the south, and met several of the museum's adventurers. In the end he was slain by the kobold Avo Abonea (Submitted by Avolitionbrit)
34:
A figurine of A WORM Ezif Aroirum submitted this figurine of
*redacted* after investigating the temporal anomaly that destroyed Gor and Duskhome. (submitted by Chaospotato)
35:
In pursuit of goverment This manual concerns goverment, its forms and recommendations and was submitted by the King of the Walled Dye, Bralbaard Hammerfishes. For unclear reasons he was deposed several days later.
36:
"Putting Goblin Knowledge to good use - Ongoing Submission". As you look to see this submission, all you see is a very bloody copy of the book Common Sense Goblins.
37:
"A book named Mastering the Elf and the skull of the dark one elven queen Vafice Lutecover". submitted by Moldath Mournsaints the Ardent, blind sadist swordsmaster (Kesperan)
38:
"A book named The Dwarves for Everyone (copy)". submitted by Urdim Tatloshathel, 500th named Soldier of Night, prophetess of Dalzatèzum reborn.
39:
Tineequal the gold of balance, wrapped in eventeal These two artifacts were submitted by Tosace Skunkbegun(Avolitionbrit) to honor the two plump helmet men Vutok and Oddom.
40:
A masterfull alligator snapping turtle bone crown This crown was found near the site of Bralbaard's first death, together with his ear (Submitted by Maloy)
41:
The Skull of the Giantess This enormous skull belonged to the Giantess Âtest Ustzatthud Akest, her head alone weighed 1640 urists. Submitted by Kesperan.
42:
A bogeyman leather pouch Few, if any reliable sightings of bogeymen exist, and they and their corpses are said to dissapear in daylight. Somehow Yawo Rainstir managed to obtain this pouch made of bogeyman leather that is stable in the light. Submitted by Tonnot 98
43:
Six gremlins Midas Squarewheel (Bralbaard) left behind six of his 381 gremlin followers at the museum, five of them remain.
44:
Five trunks of weremammoths fell ones The Band of Wax, possibly the most famous adventure group in the history of Orid Xem, deposited these five weremammoth trunks in the museum after cleansing large parts of the world from ghouls and other foul creatures. (sumbitted by unraveller)
45:
An artifact grate Submitted by Pik and Desli, the famous werejackal adventurers. (Eric Blank)
46:
A Mörul Kan 769 blistered metal coin An impossible coin made of mythical metal. It is currency of the long-dead dwarven civilization, The Page of Tiredness, yet is dated centuries after their fall. Several years after the coin was submitted Mörul Kan dwarves resurrected their civilisation. What role did this coin play? An enduring historical enigma to ponder. (Submitted by Nogoodnames)
47:
A stack of thirteen human leather-bound books penned by Aril Vesseleyes twelve detailing the necromantic rituals and practices of The Abyssal Cult, and one self-justifying his actions in service to The Abyssal Cult. (submitted by Quantum Drop)
48:
Ruination Within Reason: This dark codex is crafted from blistered metal, the same unholy substance as the lost slab The Certain Urns. It contains a quire of flayed elf-leather detailing the secrets of life and death, passed to Genam Riddleddressed by Sut the Tomb of Quests. Submitted by the witch-hunter Kothvir Shadowstar the Black Raven (Kesperan).
49:
Emal Mostod (Sense of Shame) A perfect lapis lazuli gem - "Said to be one of the seven treasures this appears to be an acknowledgement of the donors shame and the first step towards enlightenment as the world sinks into twilight" (Submitted by AvolitionBrit)
49:
A mangled murder monster feather The feather more or less submitted itself when it was raised from death in Bor Mazeconstruct (Bralbaard)'s backpack by Avolitionbrit, only to die on the museum floor and be left behind. The murder monster was once an Archangel, guarding one of the worlds vaults, and stolen by Bor from Moldath's hoard.
50:
*green glass sas* A musical instrument which is a hand-held hourglass drum, its form symbolic of the world's recent age changes end the ever-shifting nature of Orid Xem; submitted by Yarlig.
51.
The twin heads of the ettin Zoku Knightedsheen the Sensual Silk-Call: the last of the ettins, slain in 712 by Thon Scarone and raised as a putrid ghoul in 797, terror of many dwarven forts. Fell for the final time to the mighty Godenrigoth, by the hand of Moldath Mournsaints.
The Hateful Two-head of Menace, an iron breastplate: It is dented and caked in filth, but the blueberry bush symbol of the Walled Dye is still visible. This iron breastplate was torn from a valiant defender of the deepfolk, and used by the ettin Zoku Knightedsheen to slay five dwarves in his rampage on Falsetower.
52:
Octagon cut black diamonds Submitted by avolitionbrit
53:
Okirramtak, The Elder Execution This iron morningstar was wielded by at least three different adventurers. Submitted by Yarlig
54:
5 Rough moonstones from the fortress of Ironwards For some reason they are covered in demon parts. Submitted by Lurker Z
55:
The Black Library - the collected ramblings of the Blind Sadist, in a casket of his favoured metal. Submitted by Kesperan.
56:
The left hand of Bralbaards right hand How this is physically possible is a complicated story. Submitted by Maloy.
57:
The destruction of rebirth exposed After discovering the secrets of life, and growing back any missing hands, Bralbaard submitted this figurine to the museum. It suggests that the secret of life was known in the past, only to be lost early in the age of adventurers:
58:
The brass slab "The Equal Lord Of Riddling" A slab with the power to bind demons, and carrying the true name of Dreamypuzzled the Eternal Soul (submitted by TheFlame52)
59:
Tundraamazes the horse bone scepter This artifact commemorates the original building of Razorbridge and was gifted to the museum by Arthur Mossdiamonds the Light eagle (Maloy)
60:
Anilvir Adilatir, Glorystar the Walled Dye. The artifact nickel silver crown encrusted with fire opals used by Moldath Mournsaints for his coronation as King of the Walled Dye, salvaged from Balancehammer. Submitted by the elf Tirin Nightwhisper (Kesperan).
61:
Ustosagêk, the angry bees One of the more disturbing submissions of the museum, by Weenié Le Puu (Dikbutdagrate), this is a beehive filled with millions of bees, which through some dark magic has been sewn into the gut of the museum curator, Lady Glubbo Olngöurut.
62:
A set of Blighted Thrall organs in preservative jars Do not eat. Submitted by Quantum Drop.
63:
A cinnabar coffer with many goblin ☼items☼ Lurker Z collected these goblin-crafted by looting several goblin pits.
64:
Silenttower the Shattered eviscerator of Dragons This sword was used by Donas Silenttowers to bring down the Dragon Fací Glowgilds the Bejeweled. submitted by Eric Blank.
65:
Guki Pusap A macabre instrument made from the bones of a mythical dark gnome, its believed the ability to play this instrument is lost to time. submitted by AvolitionBrit.
66.
Mournsaints the Fire-Ruler of Rewards: a masterwork dragon bone figurine depicting the victory of Mournsaints over the Fire-Ruler of Rewards, a relic from another reality.
67
The Library of Parts.: A collection of medical manuals detailing the anatomy, physiology, and pathology of Blighted Thralls. They have been extensively annotated with handwritten notes on the subjects, ranging from their biology to methods of killing them more effectively. The identity of the authors are still a mystery to scholars. Overall, the prose is
passable masterfull. (submitted by Quantum Drop) For a more detailed description, see the spoiler in
this post. 68:
Steve, the male dark gnome In the early 11th century dark gnomes were all the hype. Maloy was the first to find a live specimen for the museum. (Submitted by Maloy)
69:
The corpse of Onul 'Duskboats' Tathkogan When you first spot the rabit corpse it's dead eyes are staring right at you. For some reason, despite being hundreds of years old, it looks remarkably fresh. (submitted by Yarlig)
70:
A fluffy wambler leather pouch An adorable looking pouch, only one fluffy wambler was hurt to make this. (Submitted by Bralbaard)
71:
The Corpse of Nguslu Thiefwarned The cowardly leader of The Most Sin was found hiding in the woods. His extremely mangled corpse now stands before you(Submitted by AvolitionBrit)
72:
The skull of Mab Sensedsteed the Howling Freak Prophet Mab, and her nest of howling freaks brought the attempt of the dwarves to reclaim Swordgleamed to a bloody end. (submitted by Kesperan)
73:
The Ilness-Jackal of Deciding, legendary fire snake earring Believe it or not, this artifact actually has magical abilities! Feel free to try at your own risk.
74:
Rhythmshowers the Pure Crosses, Artifact adamantine longsword This sword was once wielded by Tirin Nightwhisper in defence of the Eternal Citadel. It was gifted to merchants of Dalzatèzum, allowing them to return from the mists of time and reclaim Kosothducim, Palacework. Submitted by Ineth Relicheart, King of The Matched Hame (Kesperan) - Turn 139.
75.
Ransackcontrols, Artifact copper earring depicting adventurer of the Museum Stukos Mournsaints defeating a hollow hunter in the Tundra of Heroes with The Eagle-Crab of Contests. Submitted by Thikut Dyeblade, Queen Consort of The Matched Hame (Kesperan) - Turn 142.
Art and other works The museum has recently opened a new wing where people can view and experience works of art from the world of Orid Xem; the following works can be admired:
Musical forms from Orid Xem by luckyowl:
1, 2