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Author Topic: ROLL TO ANCHORITE  (Read 7136 times)

NJW2000

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ROLL TO ANCHORITE
« on: March 16, 2020, 06:28:38 pm »

IN THE TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY, THE VATICAN HAS EMBARKED ON A NEW SPIRITUAL CRUSADE.

YOU HAVE BEEN SELECTED FOR THE CATHOLIC CHURCH'S NEW ANCHORITE PROGRAM AFTER YEARS OF STUDY, PRAYER AND GOOD WORKS. OR MAYBE YOU WON A TICKET IN A CEREAL BOX.

YOU ARE IN THE VATICAN. YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENTER YOUR ANCHORITE CELL.

WHO WILL BE THE BEST ANCHORITE? WHO WILL DIE ALONE AND FORGOTTEN, COVERED IN THEIR OWN FILTH? WHO WILL FAIL AS AN ANCHORITE BY NOT DOING THAT? POST ACTIONS TO FIND OUT NOW!
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Egan_BW

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Re: ROLL TO ANCHORITE
« Reply #1 on: March 16, 2020, 06:30:30 pm »

what acrint? uh, i get club
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Devastator

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Re: ROLL TO ANCHORITE
« Reply #2 on: March 16, 2020, 06:41:18 pm »

Develop awesome singing voice.
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Avetruetotheimperator

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Re: ROLL TO ANCHORITE
« Reply #3 on: March 16, 2020, 08:37:49 pm »

Be a secret dark master of scientific aethiest communist statanism! Corrupt the minds of the holy in order to force them to realize god (aka THE DEMIURGE TYRANT) is badddd, and join in further shadowy schemes.
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Yoink

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Re: ROLL TO ANCHORITE
« Reply #4 on: March 17, 2020, 12:15:25 am »

WHIP OUT SMARTPHONE, GOOGLE WTF IS ANCHORITE   
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Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES

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Re: ROLL TO ANCHORITE
« Reply #5 on: March 17, 2020, 12:22:23 am »

START WRITTING 9500 THESES. IT'S TIME FOR THEM TO LEARN WHY CRUSADES ARE NOTHING BUT PAPAL BULL.
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King Zultan

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Re: ROLL TO ANCHORITE
« Reply #6 on: March 17, 2020, 02:02:46 am »

BUILD A CHEMISTRY LAB IN MY CELL SO I CAN MAKE METH SOMETHING HELPFUL.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

CABL

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Re: ROLL TO ANCHORITE
« Reply #7 on: March 17, 2020, 05:00:33 am »

I'M THE GOOSE FROM THAT GAME EVERYONE MEMES!
HONK AT THE POPE!
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NJW2000

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Re: ROLL TO ANCHORITE
« Reply #8 on: March 17, 2020, 05:38:53 am »

what acrint? uh, i get club
1

You grab the nearest club-like object, which happens to be a heavily decorated gold staff held by an octogenarian bishop. The venerable old man falls over and moans feebly.

Four members of the Swiss guard surround you, pikes levelled. They seem rather upset.


Develop awesome singing voice.
2

You enter your cell and start practising scales. By the end of the day, your voice is completely hoarse.

Be a secret dark master of scientific aethiest communist statanism! Corrupt the minds of the holy in order to force them to realize god (aka THE DEMIURGE TYRANT) is badddd, and join in further shadowy schemes.
5

You're a secret master of that thing you just said. You lurk in your anchorite's cell, twisting the minds of the priests that come to you for advice, eventually turning several against the Lord. You now have a handful of agents scattered through the vatican, ready to do your nefarious bidding.


WHIP OUT SMARTPHONE, GOOGLE WTF IS ANCHORITE   
4

You learn that an anchorite is someone who withdraws from the world to live an intensely religious life, often locking themselves into a tiny cell in a holy place and never leaving for the rest of their life.

Ok then.

Your cell door slams shut behind you as some monks finish locking you in.


START WRITTING 9500 THESES. IT'S TIME FOR THEM TO LEARN WHY CRUSADES ARE NOTHING BUT PAPAL BULL.
2

There's no paper in your cell! Damn! You start writing in mud on the wall.


BUILD A CHEMISTRY LAB IN MY CELL SO I CAN MAKE METH SOMETHING HELPFUL.
1

You're locked in a tiny, lightless cell with only a bed, a loaf of bread and a jug of water. It's pretty hard to build a chemistry lab, but you give it a shot.

After an hour's work, you somehow set fire to the bed.


I'M THE GOOSE FROM THAT GAME EVERYONE MEMES!
HONK AT THE POPE!

4

You are an annoying goose.

You honk at the pope! He almost falls off his balcony from shock, and has to spend the rest of the day in bed.



Devestator, Yoink, Angry Demon Noises and King Zultan have found Solitude.
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CABL

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Re: ROLL TO ANCHORITE
« Reply #9 on: March 17, 2020, 05:49:52 am »

Honk at the Swiss guards and steal the pikes from them.
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Pounded in the Butt by my own Government... oh wait, that's real life.

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Enemy post

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Re: ROLL TO ANCHORITE
« Reply #10 on: March 17, 2020, 06:10:20 am »

Honk at the Swiss guards and steal the pikes from them.

Be a Swiss Guard bothered by goose. Realize that

IN THE HEART OF THE HOLY SEE

IN THE HOME OF CHRISTIANITY

THE SEAT OF POWER IS IN DANGER
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King Zultan

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Re: ROLL TO ANCHORITE
« Reply #11 on: March 17, 2020, 06:12:11 am »

OH GOD ITS BURNING, BEAT ON THE DOOR AND YELL FOR SOMEONE TO LET ME OUT AS MY BED IS BURNING AND I MIGHT DIE!
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

Naturegirl1999

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Re: ROLL TO ANCHORITE
« Reply #12 on: March 17, 2020, 10:29:39 am »

Be a creature formed from memory, take some memories from the guard to give myself form
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Egan_BW

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Re: ROLL TO ANCHORITE
« Reply #13 on: March 17, 2020, 10:40:58 am »

bop dem
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Devastator

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Re: ROLL TO ANCHORITE
« Reply #14 on: March 17, 2020, 03:12:37 pm »

DOUBLE DOWN ON IT
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