Turn 18Shoryuken the minotaur
1You heroically rise from the ground as the minotaur stomps up behind you, and leap into a spinning
Shoryuken! Unfortunately, it seems like your previous injury (perhaps worsened by loudly calling out what you were going to do) slows your movements, and the minotaur simply grabs your arm, leaving you dangling in midair. The minotaur carries you off to a nearby dungeon and hurls you inside to await a time when the Dairy Queen can decide what to do with you.
Alright, retrieve my secret boomstick and prepare for the worst. Seems like monsters, ayylians beyond, or an even bigger bugout has occurred. Consult the CODEX FURTHER as well!
4You collect your shotgun and thoroughly explore the town. From your investigations and the information in the CODEX FURTHER, it looks like the entire town was overwhelmed, infected, and marched away by some sort of digital virus somehow capable of taking control of organic beings.
Start chasing the skelly centipede and preferably in with the music of the Yakety sax.
escape from the infected
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnHmskwqCCQ)
4 vs 5Water Tank is thrown into an uproar as Joey Bones is pursued around the town by the converted wastelanders. Benny Hill would be proud of of the display, but ultimately Joey manages to get away and loses the drones somewhere on the outskirts of Water Tank.
"ayayay, loos like we've done it compadres! But first we have to deal with lo monstro invisible, thanks to Adam, I'm starting to think you're not who you say you are you know? With that colorful reality-altering advice you resemble a mui macho Titan."[/b]
2+1 for Shaun's 5"Ah, Juanos, such a jokester." Adam laughed good-naturedly as he put an arm around Juanos's shoulder and pulled him in like a close friend. He then stealthily whispered in his ear "You really want to play this game? I'll rip that ugly, fake mustache off your face and choke you with it you omnicidal word censored for decency reasons." Moving back to standing normally he added, "But, you're right, I ought to fix my mistake."
He then snapped his fingers and summoned a localized blast of hell fire and heavenly fire on top of the monster to destroy it.
2+1 for Shaun's 5."You're right compadre, that was a broma! Hahahaha try me last time we did this I distinctly remember how I won and you got left in the dust, literally"
(Whispering)"Last time I was dealing with you with both arms tied behind my back. Now, looks like they're both free."
Ask the others where we’re headed, then grab a large blunt object and try to hunt the invisible monsters with the trustworthy as ever Juainos. Send the TARDIS wherever is needed.
5Dive into cover. Or just a corner. It doesn’t really matter much so long as it’s good for cowering in.
4Ssarscel darts into a side room to hide while Juainos invisibly congratulates his team, while expressing some concerns.
"ayayay, loos like we've done it compadres! But first we have to deal with lo monstro invisible, thanks to Adam, I'm starting to think you're not who you say you are you know? With that colorful reality-altering advice you resemble a mui macho Titan." "Ah, Juanos, such a jokester." Adam laughed good-naturedly as he put an arm around Juanos's shoulder and pulled him in like a close friend. He then stealthily whispered in his ear
"You really want to play this game? I'll rip that ugly, fake mustache off your face and choke you with it you omnicidal word censored for decency reasons." Moving back to standing normally he added,
"But, you're right, I ought to fix my mistake." "You're right compadre, that was a broma! Hahahaha try me last time we did this I distinctly remember how I won and you got left in the dust, literally" (Whispering)
"Last time I was dealing with you with both arms tied behind my back. Now, looks like they're both free."Adam and Juainos are so distracted by their loudly whispered conversation that they would both have failed to stop the monsters aboard the TARDIS if Juainos' good friend Shaun hadn't stepped up and caught the lead creature with a lucky wrench blow across the jaw. The shriek provides enough of a target for Juainos to splash a conveniently placed bottle of Guinness across the invisible monsters, allowing Adam to burn them all in a blast of flame.
Shaun is ready to launch the TARDIS on demand, if his guests have a destination in mind.
"I was hopping for a gun, but this big ass government whoop-ass stick will do."
Take my House of Representatives mace, and sneak up on the cyborg and beat his head it with it!
(Recommended listening.)You weigh your new mace in your hands, and then sneak back into the Senate chamber to deal with Cyborg Mitch McConnell.
You start out by creeping along the upper floors, before making the decision to simply leap down in front of him and greet him with a casual "Hello there." Mitch McConnell turns to you with an ironic air as a set of security robots are deployed from the floor.
"Mr. Burt..You are a bold one!" With a chuckle, McConnell orders his robots to kill you. They march toward you with electric staves, but you simply counter with a crossbow bolt aimed at the ceiling. A chunk of rubble thus dislodged crushes the machines. One lingers on for a few moments more before you finish him with a summary headshot from the Mace. Passing by the destruction, you approach Mitch McConnell. A small army of turrets appear from the walls and floors in an instant, but McConnell waves them off.
"Back away! I'll deal with this protestor slime myself!" You offer only a calm "Your move" in reply.
McConnell brushes away his cloak and collects several of the bills at his side.
"You fool! I've been trained in your "antigovernment arts" by Ron Paul!" With that, McConnell's arms split along the middles, revealing a full set of four arms, each holding a once-promising bill. The blue and green blades of concealed laser swords emerge from within as McConnell enters a fighting stance.
"Attack, Burt!" You raise the Mace, ready to take down this last representative of the Government.
McConnell laughs, and his hands rapidly spin. The billswords become spinning discs of light in his grip. Most would be overwhelmed, but you've trained for this moment. A jab from the Mace disrupts his pattern. A few more harrowing seconds dodging, parrying, and a leap over McConnell give you an opening, and you strike one of his mechanical hands from his wrist. Angered, McConnell presses the attack in a blind rage with his three remaining limbs. You keep your head, and McConnell loses another hand for his aggression.
However, even maimed, McConnell is inhabiting an untiring mechanical body, while you're only deerman. He knocks away your attempts at guards, while you struggle just to keep your grip on the Mace. McConnell senses your hesitation, and raises his two remaining billswords in a challenge. At that moment, you draw on the authority of the Mace. Behind you, the ghosts of Nancy Pelosi, John Boehner, Paul Ryan, Speakerbot Zorblax of the 212th Congress, and all the other Speakers of the House rise up behind you and channel their strength into you.
McConnell is unimpressed.
"Chosen of the House or not, you must realise:You. Are. Doomed."You inform McConnell you disagree, with a brutal antler and House of Representatives-backed headbutt that launches the cyborg Senator through the back wall and disarms him of his remaining two billswords. Before you can catch up and finish him off, McConnell skitters away and hops onto a circular motorcycle. Pressed for options, you leap onto the back of one of DC's Giant Featherlizard mutants. You're able to control the creature and pursue McConnell as he flees to Ronald Reagan Intergalactic Spaceport, but along the way the creature's violent movements dislodge the Mace from your hand. It flies away into the DC rubble, but you focus on the chase. When you catch up to him, McConnell pulls out another electric staff and tries to ward you off. Instead, you grab hold of the staff. A few more moments of struggling lead to you being pulled off your lizard and into McConnell's vehicle. McConnell uses his other arm to pull out an antique AR-15 from another hidden compartment, and manages to fire a shot off before the flailing staff causes the vehicle to crash just before reaching McConnell's personal space shuttle.
You are both sprawled out on the ground for an instant, before grabbing weapons and resuming the duel. You get the staff, while McConnell claims the rifle. McConnell fires off another shot, but you're able to knock the gun from his grip with the staff. You land a few solid jabs on McConnell with the staff and even knock him down, but a massive kick to your chest from a clawed metal foot sends you flying and disarms you in turn. You try attacking with antlers and hooves, but it quickly becomes clear that you are no match for McConnell's cyborg body in a fistfight. You take a serious beating, only managing to pry open McConnell's chestplate and expose his heart during the Majority Leader's assault. Furious, McConnell throws you toward one of Reagan Intergalactic's many giant pits. You're able to grab onto the edge, as McConnell picks up the staff to finish you off. However, perhaps the House of Representatives has one last gift for you. It just so happens that the AR-15 landed just within reach.
As McConnell stomps toward you with spear in hand, you fire a clean shot into his organ sack. McConnell snarls and looks at you in shock as his internal workings ignite. Four more semiautomatic shots to the exposed heart rapidly escalate the damage until Cyborg Senator Mitch McConnell finally explodes and collapses into a pile of burning metal.
(Major apologies to George Lucas.)You mentioned a vision, Joshua? I’ll follow you, maybe there’s milk somewhere in the mountain, maybe there’ll be caves
"Before we climb it, I should let you know, that the people who were trying to climb the mountain in my vision were doing it without any climbing gear, only with bare hands. So yeah, we gotta do it with our sheer willpower and perseverance."
Climb the mountain with my bare hands, up to the summit.
2I can float, will I need to find a new body to climb with? Or can I float with both of you?
For a brief, awestruck moment-- GUNTHAR is speechless.
The moment soon passes.
"You spoke of a prophesied mountain, FRIEND JOSHUA-- and behold, a mountain! Come: let us seek therein the PRIMORDIAL COW AUĐUMBLA, that we may partake of her SACRED GIFTS!"
And with that, GUNTHAR HORNHELM proceeds unto the mountains, with HONORED COMPATRIOTS beside!
"The voice in the vision didn't mention anything about flying and such, but I suggest to not risk it and find a new body, so you can climb the mountain."
(I'm going to start having groups that travel together share a single roll. That way, groups aren't involuntarily splitting up due to different results. As such,
5 to reach the Mountain.)
For a brief, awestruck moment-- GUNTHAR is speechless.
The moment soon passes.
"You spoke of a prophesied mountain, FRIEND JOSHUA-- and behold, a mountain! Come: let us seek therein the PRIMORDIAL COW AUĐUMBLA, that we may partake of her SACRED GIFTS!"You mentioned a vision, Joshua? I’ll follow you, maybe there’s milk somewhere in the mountain, maybe there’ll be caves"Before we climb it, I should let you know, that the people who were trying to climb the mountain in my vision were doing it without any climbing gear, only with bare hands. So yeah, we gotta do it with our sheer willpower and perseverance."I can float, will I need to find a new body to climb with? Or can I float with both of you?"The voice in the vision didn't mention anything about flying and such, but I suggest to not risk it and find a new body, so you can climb the mountain."The three companions set off for the Mountain. They reach it with surprising speed and ease. There are almost no signs of life here, in the creative void before all things. There is not nothing, though. A little, squealing crab-squid spawns from a pool. It looks at the party and speaks.
"Dette stemmer ikke. Du skulle ikke være her ennå. Dette er ikke akseptabelt.."Whatever it said, the creature's body quickly makes a decent host for Rana.
At the foot of the mountain, Joshua attempts to free climb. His first attempt ends in a fall, but he isn't really hurt.
FIRST, KICK OFF A NEW ROUND OF GESTATIONAL PERIODS TO EVENTUALLY SPAWN ANOTHER BUMPER CROP OF MY INCREASINGLY MALFORMED MAGNIFICENT OFFSPRING. ALSO SELECT ONE OF SMARTEST AND/OR WISEST OKAPI-HUMAN HYBRIDS TO ACT AS TEMPORARY LEADER 'TIL I GET BACK... OR INDEFINITELY IF SOMETHING GO WRONG
THEN TAKE CRACK TEAM OF MOST BATTLE-READY OKAPIS AND OKAPI-HUMAN HYBRIDS, RETIRE TO SUITABLE FIELD A DISCREET DISTANCE FROM VILLAGE, AND BEGIN TRAINING IN ARTS OF COMBAT AND TACTICS UNTIL WE A WELL-OILED MACHINE OF WILDLIFE WARFARE. MAKE SURE THEY USE HOOVES TO DEVASTATING EFFECT.
ALSO, ONCE EVERYONE BUSY DOING COMBAT DRILLS, SEE IF I CAN USE NATURAL RESOURCES TO WHIP UP SUITABLE WEAPONS FOR THOSE OF US WITH HANDS. HELL, MAYBE MAKE SPEARS OR LANCES FOR BIPEDS TO USE AS THEY RIDE THE QUADRUPEDS INTO BATTLE! HECK YEAH
(The sheer horror of your okapi hybrid society never ceases to unnerve/amuse me.)
5Everything you just said is successful. You have a new round of hybrid children on the way, appoint your smartest child, Daughter Leslie, to be chief in your absence, and train your soldiers in improved combat techniques, and the bipedal ones are taught to use their more quadrupedal siblings as cavalry for lance charges. (+1 on combat rolls for all your okapis.)
Author
Topic: Minimalism and Milk 4 (Read 80976 times)