RecapThis should cover the basics of what's happened so far. Sorry if your events got left out, I tried to keep it down to only the minimum.
In 2017, a house in the city of Genericville ran out of milk. As a result, the world rapidly began to die. The resulting chaos quickly spread. Ukulele metal filled the air as the house was destroyed, the city fell, governments were overthrown, Doom Mugs loomed above, Heaven and Hell and ultimately the world itself was reduced to a chupacabra-infested wasteland before the Imperium of Man finally put it out of its misery.
However, the world was spared this fate at the last minute by the actions of one Shaun O'Brian. As the world passed the point of no return, Shaun used his cow-powered time machine to travel back to shortly before the house ran out of milk and deliver some bottles. This prevented the crisis, but left Shaun a timeline-orphan. Shaun abandoned the modern world and chose to go find some other time to live in. He eventually settled on a small English village called Moorsburg in the late 12th century. Everything would be peaceful.
That is, if he hadn't stolen all the town's milk. The chaos began again, aided along or battled by both new characters and refugees who had somehow escaped the deletion of their timeline. Dozens of stories unfolded, from the war against the Sun, the rivalry between Goatsby and Harold Johnson, a new wave of Doom Mugs, and many others. One of particular importance was that of the living Holy Grail and the quest of it and its allies to find the Grail's Holy Milk. After a long journey, the Holy Milk was discovered at the remains of Castle Adjila. An epic battle ensued as dozens of groups converged on the castle to try and claim the nearly unlimited power of the Holy Milk. The Grail and its allies won this battle and swiftly used their power to put an end to the chaos.
Centuries passed as the Grail empire took control of the Earth and rapidly advanced its technological and cultural development. By the year 2219, although the Holy Grail and its allies had long since left the material plane for parts unknown, Earth was a shining and highly advanced society. The first starships were being sent forth to explore new worlds and seek out new civilizations.
One of these was the ill-fated starship called the Moloko. At the height of Humanity's ascent, it too ran out of milk. This lead to the greatest disaster so far. Apocalypse after apocalypse tore through the universe. There was the war against the Seven goat deities, a Doom Mug attack on Earth, the defeat of Jeff Goldblum, the dead rising from their graves, and a mime was actually found to be funny.
However, even these events were overshadowed by the crusade of the Mad Titan, Thainos. Thainos believed that the balance of the universe could only be restored by assembling the Unlimited Glove and using it to destroy all milk forever. Despite the actions of the many who tried to stop him, Thainos won. With a snap of his fingers, Thainos destroyed all milk, and half of all mammalian life. Even worse, at the moment he did so, all liquid water had also been transformed into milk. Thainos himself and the Infinity Milks were not spared by his culling.
Across the entire universe, the survivors found themselves without milk. Events comparable to those previously described erupted everywhere at once. The worlds died, and all that was left of civilization was whatever survivors had managed to cling to life in the ruins of their fallen empires.
All was not completely lost, however. In the final moments of the Moloko's last flight, the ship's AI had managed to make a molecular-level scan of the Infinity Milks. With the help of the veteran heroes Angelo and Diablo, the scans were brought to Shaun O'Brian in his TARDIS.
It's unclear what happened next. Among the survivors of Earth's wasteland, it is rumored that Angelo and Diablo occasionally appear to worthy heroes, seeking their aid in remaking the Infinity Milks in order to heal the shattered cosmos.
Perhaps you have more immediate concerns, however. After all...
You are apocalypse survivors who live in a settlement.
The world ran out of milk.
You must acquire more.
The game starts. You're all in a postapocalyptic town, after Thainos devastated the universe at the end of the previous game.
Turn 2Everyone is making characters and starting out on various plans. Adam Young goes to the bar, looking for adventurers to join him. Burt the deer man generally focuses on a long, conspiracy-fueled quest to exterminate any remnants of the Government.
Turn 3Several other players join Adam Young, including the mysterious Juainos. Cistern the AI starts making a hive-mind network.
Turn 4GUNTHAR HORNHELM attempts to open a portal for Joshua with the Axe of the Ginnungagap that Adam Young made for him and accidentally summons a monster into the bar. A fight breaks out. Adam Smith the T'zzz cultist has entered the Dreamlands on a quest to find milk to empower T'zzz. John is attacked by sewer clowns, which Cistern witnesses.
Turn 5Fight in the bar continues. Cistern attacks John, attempting to add him to her network. Luis Douglas works on occult rituals to find milk. Shaun leaves the bar.
Turn 6A monster portal reverses and begins pulling things into the Eldritch Plane. Shaun saves John from the sewer clowns, and Cistern forces him into a digital form while failing to erase his free will. Yoink has gone into the woods to look for giraffe milk, but finds himself increasingly surrounded by okapis.
Turn 7Joshua, GUNTHAR, and Rana all decide to jump into the portal and see where it takes them. Juainos, Ssarscel, and Adam Young all stay in the bar and successfully close the portal. Shaun then accidentally destroys the bar with his now-oversized TARDIS.
Turn 8John takes over Cipher's network, though she survives as a separate entity. Shaun decides to go to the forest to look for the remnants of a downed Doom Mug and get the milk from its remains. Adam Smith finds out about the Dairy Queen and her milk treasure. Joshua, GUNTHAR, and Rana have arrived at an Eldritch Plane tower and begin to explore it while defending themselves from Eldritch creatures attacking them.
Turn 9Juainos and Shaun fix the TARDIS, (accidentally on Juainos' part) while Ssarscel and Adam Young head out into the wasteland to visit Florence Memorial library in the ruins of Genericville and learn about the molecular structure of milk so Ssarscel can synthesize it. They get lost for a while. Luis Dougris resurrects a milk jug, becoming the first to get milk. Yoink seduces the okapis.
Turn 10Shaun leaves Juainos behind and teleports to the Doom Mug. The sewer clowns assimilated into John's version of the Network begin attacking the town. Yoink spawns a race of hybrid offspring with the okapis.
Turn 11Adam Smith goes to the forest. Things start to go wrong as Shaun explores the Doom Mug alone. The clowns are spreading the virus through bites.
Turn 12Continuation of previous events, Joey Bones is attacked by the virus-infected clowns and townsfolk.
Turn 13John's Network conquers the starting village. Adam Young and Ssarscel reach Genericville, which is overrun by Florence Memorial's Frankenstein-esque monsters. Juainos flies his hat to the Doom Mug. Joshua, GUNTHAR, and Rana invade the tower and begin to battle the Scholars of the Symbol. Yoink and his okapis decide to attack the Dairy Queen and free the other okapis from their servitude.
Turn 14John starts spreading to other towns. Juainos accidentally attacks the okapi hybrid town on his way to "rescue" Shaun. Adam and Ssarcel are attacked by the hybrid creatures and gradually begin to be overwhelmed.
Turn 15Joshua steals and drinks the cultists' milk. As a result, he gets a vision of what to do next that says he needs to scale a certain mountain. Juainos accidentally saves Shaun.
Turn 16Shaun and Juainos travel together for a time. Joey Bones, now a skeletal centipede monster, begins a second conflict with John's Network when he stumbles across their attack on a neighboring town.
Turn 17Joshua, GUNTHAR, and Rana go to the Ginnungagap. GUNTHAR wanted to go there in search of the mythical cow Auðumbla. It turns out that Joshua's mountain is here. Shaun gets milk from the Doom Mug and then rescues Adam and Ssarscel with the TARDIS.
Turn 18Adam Smith is finally captured by the Dairy Queen. Burt destroys Cyborg Senator Mitch McConnell. Joshua, GUNTHAR, and Rana begin to climb the mountain. Rana possesses a proto-Eldritch creature to replace her old Byakhee body. Yoink appoints Daughter Leslie to lead his hybrid village.
Turn 19Yoink attacks the Dairy Queen. The Dairy Queen persuades/forces Adam Smith to fight for her. An attempt by John's Network to attack Genericville goes disastrously. Joshua, GUNTHAR, and Rana explore a cave in the Ginnungagap, while Rana begins an ongoing conversation with her new host body. Ssarscel studies the Doom Mug milk and invents a theoretically possible means of mass producing milk, while Shaun and Adam Young work out a plan for rebuilding society. Juainos secretly steals the remaining Doom Mug milk from Shaun.
Turn 20Joshua, GUNTHAR, and Rana discover a mysterious pool. John's Network restocks itself using the surrounding villages. Shaun, Adam Young, Ssarscel, and Juainos go to the crash site of the Moloko in search of Delta's old Infinity Milk scans.
Turn 21GUNTHAR interacts with the pool, seeing visions of possible futures, while Rana starts to connect more with her host. Shaun, Adam Young, Ssarscel, and Juainos begin exploring the Moloko. The ongoing battle between Yoink and Adam Smith shifts when a carnivorous unicorn is unleashed against the okapis.
Turn 22John's Network conquers Genericville, with the exception of Florence Memorial library. Eldritch creatures attack Joshua, GUNTHAR, and Rana.
Turn 23Joshua, GUNTHAR, and Rana defeat the Eldritch creatures, but the walls of the cave they are in shake as something else approaches. John attempts to build a society in Genericville, but the library proves to be too much of an issue and the city is abandoned. Shaun goes back in time, resaving Abraham Lincoln and visiting the Holy Grail's ultimately doomed utopia. Burt discovers that defeating Mitch McConnell automatically made him president. He uses the authority to destroy Vienna, Moscow, and the Vatican with an orbital ion cannon. Ssarscel recovers the Infinity Milk scans.
Turn 24Joshua and Rana are forced to leave GUNTHAR behind when he is apparently killed by a cave in while fighting a massive worm. In fact, GUNTHAR fell into the pool and ended up in a flashback to before Thainos destroyed everything. Joey Bones kills several members of the network as he grows his skeletal amalgamation of a body. In retaliation, John attacks and ultimately kills him.
Turn 25Rana and her host strike a deal, allying her (and by extension, Joshua) with the Eldritch creatures to find Auðumbla in return for being shown how to "create new things, new life and worlds". Joshua and Rana reach the summit of the mountain, finding a young Yggdrasil. Shaun returns to the present and ferries his group back to Ssarcel's lab.
Turn 26Shaun, Adam Young, Juainos, and Ssarcel return to the initial town and see the depopulation inflicted by John's Network. Burt finds out about the President's mobile headquarters,
Sacred Cow. Joshua discovers his destiny is to challenge Thainos and Avenge all those he killed. Adam Smith and the Dairy Queen's army defeats Yoink and his okapis.
I tried to get all the most important events, feel free to point out anything I missed.
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Topic: Minimalism and Milk 4 (Read 81025 times)