Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[IonMatrix]

Keep cutting the tape

[chaotick21]

Summon a demon

[Screech9791]

update tomorrow

[Yoink]

COLLECT BROKEN GLASS FROM FLOOR OF BUS   

USE TO CARVE TAG INTO ANY AVAILABLE SURFACE(S)       

[Screech9791]

Steal the tablet from coalboat

3: You attempt to steal coalboat's tablet; and he attempts to hit you with it; forcing you to roll to dodge.
2: It turns out that he secretly wrote "Head on: Apply directly to the forehead!" on the back, in comic sans. Your head hurts badly.

Do nothing.

Auto4: Sample Text

Order some pizza

Auto2: You don't have anything to contact the nearest pizza place with.

Check the blueprints for any unusual bus components.

5: You check the blueprints, and find the following unusual components for a bus:
-Brick
-Storage Closet
-Small fuel tank
-An odd looking crate welded to the closet floor

Pray - again, loudly - to the dragons, to restore all of my severed pieces in their proper locations.

3: You pray loudly to the dragons to restore your health. You're now back to normal health, but you've annoyed at least one bird. Time to roll to dodge.
1: O-02-56 pecks you, and you decide to punch it with your newly restored hand in retaliation. However, you appeared to have made the same mistake that King Zultan did.

Someone needs to hire a janitor.

Convert exhaust pipe to rocket thruster for extra speed!

5: In direct violation of rocket science, you void the warranty by taking the exhaust pipe and turning it into a rocket thruster. It doubled the fuel use of the bus, while also doubling the speed.

Rip out seat-threading to make a little harness and leash. Put this on the bird, attach end of leash to bus.

Auto2: You don't have anything to remove the seat threading with.

Reform myself from my gibs and reclaim my gun.

3: You become a vaguely humanoid shaped pile of gibs that can move, but you're not as strong or capable as an actual normal body; changing your die to a D4 instead of the standard D6. You pick up your gun.

Keep cutting the tape

4: You finish cutting the tape.

Summon a demon

1: You summon a Diemon of 1 Rolls. It promptly throws some dice at you at mach 3. Whoops.

COLLECT BROKEN GLASS FROM FLOOR OF BUS   

USE TO CARVE TAG INTO ANY AVAILABLE SURFACE(S)       

Auto2: There is no broken glass anywhere.

Bus Status:
194 miles to go
Speed: 2
Fuel Consumption/Update: 2

Roof: Has a window-sized hole in it. Has a chair attached to it. A ladder can be used to access the roof. Has a roof tablet on top of it, with the following written on it:

Front: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
Back: Head on: Apply directly to the forehead!

Floor: Has a dent where a roof chunk used to be.
Door: Damaged.
Interior Chairs: 1 chair is missing.
Storage Closet: Has 1 spare wheel inside. Has an odd looking crate inside; with O-05-47 written on it.
Gas Pedal: Has a brick, as well as some crudely cut duct tape nearby.
Brake lines: Cut
Exhaust Pipe: Converted into a rocket thruster that doubles the bus's speed and fuel consumption.
Warranty: Voided.

Fuel Tank: 20/25

Player Statuses & Inventories:
Glass: GIBBED
King Zultan: Currently a gibman. Rolls a D4 for any action/dodge rolls instead of a D6.
ZBridges: Tired (-1 to all rolls for actions involving strength; can stack). Has a short ranged laser cutter. Has bus blueprints.
IonMatrix: Has a nail clipper.
coalboat: Owns a roof tablet.
Rockeater: Currently has a roof tablet-sized dent in his head.
Chaotick21: Dead due to hypersonic dice

NPCS:
Jack
O-02-56 (Kill Count: 2)
Diemon of 1 Rolls (Kill Count: 1)

Other:
The navy seal copypasta is currently written on the sky.

UPDATES SINCE LAST BIRD-RELATED INCIDENT: 0

[coalboat]

use the roof chunk to build a support between the sky block and the bus

[Glass]

Rise from the pile of gibs as a young dragon!

[Egan_BW]

Do nothing.

[ziizo]

use a pencil and paper that I conveniently have to Write a message ordering pizza then politely ask the bird to deliver it

[Rockeater]

Attach wheel to the chair I picked up.

[ZBridges]

Open up the odd crate, using the laser cutter if necessary.

[IonMatrix]

Summon a boomalope for fuel

[King Zultan]

Steal a roll of tape from someone and use it to make my self into a more human like thing.

[Screech9791]

use the roof chunk to build a support between the sky block and the bus

Auto2: You realize that the sky block would be too long to bridge to with all non-critical components of the bus. You need more building materials.

Rise from the pile of gibs as a young dragon!

1: You literally rise as a young dragon, and you can't revert yourself back to normal gravity.

Do nothing.

5: You do nothing despite the urges to stop some people are doing things they shouldn't.

use a pencil and paper that I conveniently have to Write a message ordering pizza then politely ask the bird to deliver it

5: You write down a pizza order, then tell the little bird to bring the pizza order paper to the nearest pizza place. It accepts, and will be back in 2 updates.

Attach wheel to the chair I picked up.

1: You attempt to attach the wheel, but somehow screw it up and the wheel rolls off the bus. Nice going, skid.

Open up the odd crate, using the laser cutter if necessary.

Auto4: You open up the crate. You find a yellow and black pedestal inside, with a red button on top.

Summon a boomalope for fuel

3: You summon a boomalope, but it seems to produce arsenic instead of usable fuel. Have fun poisoning your friends and enemies, I guess.

Steal a roll of tape from someone and use it to make my self into a more human like thing.

1: You attempt to steal a roll of duct tape before promptly getting attacked by the resident Diemon! You must roll to dodge!
4: You manage to dodge the dice thrown at you.

Bus Status:
192 miles to go
Speed: 2
Fuel Consumption/Update: 2

Roof: Has a window-sized hole in it. Has a chair attached to it. A ladder can be used to access the roof. Has a roof tablet on top of it, with the following written on it:

Front: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
Back: Head on: Apply directly to the forehead!

Floor: Has a dent where a roof chunk used to be.
Door: Damaged.
Interior Chairs: 1 chair is missing.
Storage Closet: Contains O-05-47.
Gas Pedal: Has a brick, as well as some crudely cut duct tape nearby.
Brake lines: Cut
Exhaust Pipe: Converted into a rocket thruster that doubles the bus's speed and fuel consumption.
Warranty: Voided.

Fuel Tank: 18/25

Player Statuses & Inventories:
Glass: Is a young dragon. Currently falling upwards.
King Zultan: Currently a gibman. Rolls a D4 for any action/dodge rolls instead of a D6.
ZBridges: Tired (-1 to all rolls for actions involving strength; can stack). Has a short ranged laser cutter. Has bus blueprints.
IonMatrix: Has a nail clipper.
coalboat: Owns a roof tablet.
Rockeater: Currently has a roof tablet-sized dent in his head.
Chaotick21: Dead due to hypersonic dice

NPCS:
Jack
O-02-56 (Kill Count: 2): Busy delivering an order message to the nearest pizza place. Will return in 2 updates.
Diemon of 1 Rolls (Kill Count: 1)
Poisonlope

Other:
The navy seal copypasta is currently written on the sky.

UPDATES SINCE LAST BIRD-RELATED INCIDENT: 1

[Egan_BW]

Do nothing.
Prevent the button from being pressed.