1) Dig a hole in the dirt.
2) Make large bedrooms for every Dorf.
3) Get acres and acres of Farm land.
4) With tons and tons of animals turning it into a proper zoo after allocating zones.
5) With those zones, also get a whole bunch of plant gatherers.
6) Figure out you also need a bunch of ladders as well, so let's gogo.
7) Almost have everyone starve to death! :') With a stockpile of 100 tiles worth of food... Like... Really?! :')
Watch that cute Mayor going into bedrooms and kissing all the Dorfs good night.
9) Build one of every workshop that was still missing by now, because you need them, maybe, probably, heck I have no idea.
10) Figure out that some workshops are basically duplicates and you built them for nothing :')
11) Read up on the Wiki for advise, build a bridge, tear it down, build a bridge, tear it down, build a bridge, oh fudge this! Tear it down, build a >drawbridge< finally, thank you.
12) Test the drawbridge needlessly at least 10 times in a row.
13) Migrants arrive, make more beds! And Chests! And Cabinets! And dig moor bedrooms! And build more doors!
14) Ghost arrived, scaring people in the meeting room, how cute
*Boo* Weeeeeeeee all Dorfs scatter, haha!
15) How come there are like a dozen Dorfs missing?! Hmmmm, strange.
16) Dorf has been found dead, drained of blood.
17) Ehhhhhhh, what the fog..!? Looks like I have some giant leeches in my fortress :')
18) Ohoh!! Goblin invasion, run inside!
19) No really, >run< >inside<!
20) OMG, can you please, for the love of all the Dorfs and temple of goldz, get your lazy asses to >R.U.N. I.N.S.I.D.E.<
21) Ok, >finally< found the buttons how to get them inside. Not too bad, only 10 Dorfs died so far.
22) Raise the bridge!
*evil laughter* *small victory dance while singing Can't touch this*
23) Witness the green rain! :')
24) Have your friend come over to help you with this sh*t.
25) Have your friend dumbfounded on how goblins got into your base.
26) As at that very time, one falls through a gap in the ceiling, left by cutting away a tree! #GreenRain
27) Get rescued by your pet Ghost who scares a Goblin to death. JUSTICE! MUHAHA!
28) Friend goes bananas on the triple drawbridge and says you can use it to vaporize enemies and garbage.
29) To your horror; you see things being vaporized by the drawbridge and realize where the 10 missing Dorfs went :')
30) Plan for the Mayor to go on a holiday with use of the drawbridge.
31) Notice the Mayor going into the stockpile and eating and boozing like there is no tomorrow.
32) Rethink the execution, ehh holiday plans for the mayor, as she might not be the vampire after all.
33) Accidentally catch one of the miners going into other Dorf's bedrooms :O
34) Build a large comfy bedroom for the mayor, who turns out, wasn't the mayor, but a random miner of almost no skill whatsoever.
35) Promote the miner to manager, install all the best furniture you have, and make some extra layers for a Chappell and Library.
36) Seal the darn thing shut! Wave at your pet vampire
37) Be very proud!
38) Be even more proud seeing there is not a single unhappy Dorf in your fortress!
39) Laugh when seeing the happiest Dorf is the pet vampire locked in his tiny little tower :')
40) Try to make a magma forge.
41) Abandon Fortress as it's crumbling down.
42) Make 2nd embark :')
43) After playing the game for a while, load the first play and check out your fortress and CRINGE!
44) Realize that half the professions were running around without actually doing anything cuz; wrong settings :')
45) Get warm feeling for the happiest vampire in the world still there enjoying his unlife
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Topic: How a 1st time noob plays dwarf fortress (Read 1742 times)