Curse you I say!
As usual, I was dicking around in adventure mode with my super awesome axeman, slaughtering the only human town's priests and merchants (and whatever else I saw), when a macelord approached me on the capital building roof.
No problem, I said as I threw children heads at him, only bruising his left hand after 3 flying skulls.
So, I give him a slash, and his first move is to pound my arm into a shattered powder of bone, then smash me off of the roof.
As I lay bleeding and dead in the grass below, I vowed revenge.
So I came back as Ritar Flamepaddled, master of the pike! I quickly dash into the capital building, stab the closest peasant (the only living being in the building besides the macelord and I) and then run straight for the roof. I spot the macelord on the stairs, and throw the corpse of the slain peasant at him, which was blocked. I stab him in the foot, then as I try again my spear glances off of his helmet and he smashes me against a wall, then pummels me into a cream as I desperately throw my pike at him, which only cut his finger.
And so I send in Ungrid Diamondhelm, champion wrestler to destroy this insipid macelord!
I go straight for his weapon arm, ignoring everything else. I grab his hand and manage to sprain it just before my leg is broken, then my arm, and then my brain. Darnit.
So I employ the hammer of Kirkud Amplemines! Covered in iron plating, I march across the floor of the large building, stepping over bloody clothes, corpses, and limbs that cover the floor. I find the macelord happily chilling on the roof amid previous victims, and charge him after hearing his monologue on the people he has ruthlessly beaten to a pulp. After bruising his ribs, I get my head horribly mashed into my chest cavity.
By now, my nemesis aquires a super long and fierce name (something like Ignu Fortifified-barricades the Skull-smasher, or a just as demoralizing name).
I'll cut this quick, since I am getting tired of writing each play out all detailed like.
Another pikeman got blown apart on a wall after impaling Ignud's arm.
Another axeman had his heart and organs smashed open, then was pummeled into oblivion.
A third pikeman (I was hoping for a lucky critical headshot) was catapulted off of the capital roof.
A crossbowman was mobbed by 5 peasants, a guard and 2 kids before he could get to the 2nd floor of the capital.
A lasher had his lower body mauled and all his organs pierced, and was then smashed into a wall.
A thrower, who threw two axes and two spears at the macelord with no more result than a gashed hand and a severed finger, had his arms and chest broken, then his head smashed into pieces.
At this point, there is no area in the building from where you cannot see at the very least 6 bodies. There are piles of corpses wherever a battle took place, with trails of blood leading to those to limped away or to severed heads and limbs. Keep in mind that this damn macelord has killed 10 people, with no more than a broken bone or a gashed limb at the worst.
At this point I am desperate, so I start sending in spearmen and bowmen, hoping for a lucky shot that may pierce his brain or heart or something. No luck with that, after the worst damage being cutting up his organs with an iron bolt.
Kill count: 14.
So, the fifteenth soldier. My lucky number. I decide to play dirty and cheap. I get a very skilled crossbowman. After shooting a child that spotted me, I made my way into the center of the 2nd floor, I wait, carefully dodging any patrolling gaurds and children.
The macelord comes into view! I fire a bolt, which impales itself into his left leg. Good, he can't move as fast. The second, he blocks with his shield (and cat-like reflexes, which he apparently traded in for the astute wits that enable him to be oblivious to the shadowy figure standing in the middle of the room firing bolts a him) and the next two he simply dodges.
He runs out of the room, and I wait. A minute or two later, he reenters to a hail of bolts. The first gashes his arm, causing him to drop his mace (thank god, if I'm spotted I'll have a chance).
The next bolt misses and so does the one after that, but the third bolt strikes home, and pierces his lungs and heart. In a burst of ego, I stand up and run at him, then start beating him with my crossbow as he quickly bleeds to death in the middle of many of the previous attackers.
Just before he dies, he grabs me by the arm and breaks my legs with his bare hands, leaving me near immobile as the nearby peasants and guards rush towards me.
Worth it.
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Topic: Curse you, mace lord! (Read 7110 times)