Everyone entering RED!---Dirt Track: When Driving Aggressively, a roll of 2 results in the loss of ONE Momentum. On a failure to pass with a ram or draft, lose ONE momentum. If your momentum is 3 or less after this, you suffer an off course hazard! On a successful ram, knock your opponent off course-but if you fail to avoid spinning out, you go off course!
---Sugar Rush: When recovering after falling back, gain +1 Momentum! Gain +1 Momentum on all rocket starts!
---Twisty Curve: -1 to Power Slides
---Chocoramps: Gain 1 momentum in the lightning phase! Successful check (no mods) to Stunt during your turn to gain an additional two points of momentum-or lose it all on a fail! Stunt check is a free action that can be attempted during your turn.
!!Hazard!!
Off Course!
Nippers: Make a hazard check or get flipped and lose 2 momentum!!
<--Track Mood Music
Player Actions
Amazed at his lead, Dampe decides to take the safest option and Drive Defensively
Dampe knows its very important to maintain speed on this track, so he seeks to defend his lead-he steers to the center of the track, preparing to hold off any challengers, and aiming for the item boxes!
Defensive Driving: +1 to attacks, passes, and hazards!...
Crank glanced down at the console of the rig the research team had provided. It was adjustable, and Boomer had worked overtime to explain how to adjust mid race, and this maneuver in particular they had practiced several times. Cold Start only needed to be suppressed in special cases, and now he hit the switch to change it over. However, something was clearly off in another Kart...
Aggressive driving! Switch Compensation to suppress Low Loot!
Crank however, know he's got to build up some speed-get out of the pack, which suffice to say, is going to be extremely 'rammy' today. He's not unused to rules changes in MKL, and this latest one (increasing the usual 'forward crunch capability' for karts) is going to greatly increase the amount of aggression on the track...
Swapping his compensator over to account for low loot, he sees (and feels) the lucksparks floating out of his kart in more comfortable amounts.
He wastes no time in gunning through the track
[1] and immediately finds out why Chocoland is so treacherous a raceway! His team spent so much time on the shiny compensator they forgot to account for the track surface...Crank finds his wheels unexpectedly slip sliding! He perhaps, curses his luck-they had just tested these track conditions not an hour ago. But the track itself changes wildly, far more than his team guessed-a few temperature degrees difference, and previously solid chocolate paving becomes a deceptive pudding surface.
[-1 momentum!] (Now 2!)
His kart into a wicked greasy slide that ends up with him rumbling on the broken cookie chunks that line the raceways edge!
[-1 momentum!] (Now 1!)
Crank rumbles back onto track with a grimace. Boomers voice booms from the radio.
"Hey Boomer, what's the deal with Waluigi's Kart? Did you see how it handled off the line?""...Careful, Crank! It'll only get worse as the race goes on! Also, we saw Waluigis Kart, everybody saw it-that weird color and that evil music...his pit crew is claiming it was the Localized Aurora Borealis, and that the music must have been coming from Dick Dastardlys kart.
But we think he's using some sort of illegal speed booster. No idea on the details yet, but if its what we think it is, it's going to have a limited amount of fuel and it'll have some serious side effects. Just power through and you'll keep up. Maybe try and nail him with something to slow him down..."...
AGGRESSIVE DRIVE! USE TOXIC STAR™! GRAB A ITEM BOX! WAAAAAAAA!
"WALUIGI IS FEELING CONFIDENT OF WALUIGI'S GURANTEED VICTORY SO WALUIGI SHALL GRAB A ITEM BOX THIS TIME WAAAAAAAAA!"Waluigi uses another DARK STAR ENERGY BOOST!
(1/3 uses left) Waluigi gains
2 momentum (Now 5!)
He uses his increased momentum to charge ahead confidently!
[3] (+0 momentum!) Unfortunately, he runs into the same problems as Crank-his sheer energy allow him to stay on the track, however! MORE SPEED! WAAAAA!
He sees the Blue Mushroom puttering ahead of him, his puny driving skills failing. He should be easy to pass, heheheh!
...
Drive aggressively spitting a non lethal amount of flames in Waluigi’s direction to offset the awful smell
sniffsniff ”Is that a Dark Star in Purple Stache’s kart?! I thought that was destroyed! Where the heck did he get that from?!”Bowsers breaths a fair amount of entirely lethal flames to get rid of the terrible Dark Star smell! He still gets stomachaches even thinking about it...the Dark Star wasn't any sort of power one could share, no matter what that weirdo Fawful thought. An ordinary star could at least recognize a King (like Him) and he could use that. Dark Stars only served themselves.
[4] His pondering is interrupted as he remembers he's in a race. He notes with his usual cunning that the mud-chocolate track is already being dug into grooves, like a paintbrush sliding over an easel. The Bluemooba (whatever) Crank left a huge crescent skid, and the cheating plumber made a snake, but the stranger in front with the bucktooth left a straight and easy to follow path. Bowser turns his wheels into line with this groove, and avoids the problems of the other two racers!
+1 Momentum (Now 4!)
Hah! How's that for clever?
...
Ram Jack into what nature intended, as a delicious chocolate icecream treat.
The Dastard performs a short spin with his wheels to reach the perfect position to ram Jack off course and continue on.
"We've got the cone and ice cream. Now for the chocolate." Dick Dastardly spins his wheels again, and prepares to meet Jack Frost head to head! His fingers tap above his mysterious controls, waiting to employ any one of his dozens of cheating devices.
Bring it on, stay puft!
Jack attempts to RAM you![4+2=6] vs [3+2+2-1=6]
Successful defense!
You attempt to RAM Jack![6+2=8] vs [5+2+2-1=8]
Failed attack!
Avoid spinning out!
[3]Fail!
-1 momentum (Now 1!)
Off track!
-1 momentum (Now 0!)
((Ties are always in the defenders favor
))
Dick and Jack end up going at it one of those huge cartoon dust clouds, with fists, coconuts, stars and comets flying all over as the action is cleverly hidden behind the low animation budget!
Dastardly manages to nail Jack with an extended boxing glove on a spring from a compartment in the side of his kart, right as Jack manages to nail him over the head with a coconut painted in the shape of his beady little head. Muttley releases a bunch of balloons onto the track that explode into a bed of tire-nails, but in the path of both racers. Dick snaps a giant rubber band and catapults a jar of pepper power, which Jack deflects with something that can't be seen easily. As they approach for another pass, Dastardly waves a white flag that turns out to be a giant pillow, which explodes into Jacks face in a cloud of feathers. In response, Jack again draws that certain something which can only be described as really sharp air-Dick Dastardly ducks as this unseen threat whiskers over his head!
As they draw away, both of them having taken and given equal amounts of pain, Dastardly realizes he's fared slightly worse-his kart is careening off the track, heading towards a huge mud pit! He can even make out the words written on a nearby sign...
THIS MUD PIT RESERVED FOR CRASHING VILLAINS!
~Please have quips prepared before entering~
They have these everywhere! Dastardly tries desperately to get back on track...
...
Well, on the bright side, he left a little something in Jacks Kart during that last trick.
In Jacks kart, a bundle of dynamite hisses away in his front hood!In fact, it's a very similar hissing sound to what he can hear coming from HIS kart! What a random coincidence.
Dick Dastardly Black Marks Jack FrostJack Frost Black Marks Dick Dastardly...
 | Whollop the crap outta whoever comes close! |
Jack Frost feels his Kart has better forward momentum than it did before. Huh, did they change the rules or something? Hee hee, doesn't matter!
His morningstar coconuts jingle merrily as he attempts to clobber fake Waluigi! Unfortunately, the fiend is also charging toward him! Really, two back to back melee combat turns? This is how he ENDED the last race!
Oh well! Hee-ave at-ho, purple man!
You attempt to RAM Dick![4+2=6] vs [3+2+2-1=6]
Failed attack!
Avoid spinning out!
[5] Success!
Off track! COUNTERED by Chocotires!
Dick attempts to RAM you![6+2=8] vs
[5+2+2-1=8]Successful defense!
((Ties are always in the defenders favor
))
Jacks never fought a human who had all these goofy cartoon tricks-it's more like fighting a shadow than a man. Boxing gloves, firecrackers, nails in the road, giant rubber bands? This is ridiculous! While he manages to clobber the hoodlum a few good times, he gets clobbered in turn! This time, he realizes a bit quicker when he's being outmatched. There's no shame in a little retreat...and a little parting gift...while both he and his opponent end up rolling off track, Jack manages to avoid a spinout, and his chocotires work exactly as advertised-keeping him from losing speed, while his opponent flounders!
Jack ends up pretty much where he started, only now he and Dick are rolling toward a huge (and suspiciously placed) mud pit, presumably reserved as karma for villains.
Jack is no villain! But if he was, he wouldn't care! Hee ho!
...
Well, on the bright side, he left a little something in Dicks Kart during that last cut of his sword.
In Dicks kart, a round bomb that looks like Jacks face hisses away in his front hood!In fact, it's a very similar hissing sound to what he can hear coming from HIS kart! What a random coincidence.
Dick Dastardly Black Marks Jack FrostJack Frost Black Marks Dick DastardlyNot noticing an ominous flutter from the Spooky Shawl behind him, Cranky Kong Drives Defensively to set himself up for an Item Box! He gets the heck out of the way of Tricky, allowing the dinosaur to pass!
 | Don't worry, Pop Pop! This is exactly how last race started, and that turned out alright! Just remember, if you lose, we're broke, and we could really use the Coin. |
 | Don't distract me, Diddy, I'm caught between a trike and an angry snowcone! It's a good thing there's some early items here to bail me out! |
Cranky, noticing the carnage ahead of him, politely makes way for Tricky-he turns on his blinker-concentrating on collecting an item box and improving his chances.
The Spooky Shawl flutters, for a moment looking like a familiar wagging finger.
Position Lost...
Tricky charges past Cranky without stopping, and now he shows he's obviously somewhat civilized.
"Thank you very much, sir!"It seems Dinosaurs have very binary thought processes, and he's now swapped from insane rage to polite enthusiasm.
Reptilian Thinking: Tricky cannot RAM next turn!Movement PhaseCranky is idling in the old folks lane! He can't pass anybody!
Tricky too slow!
Jack takes his shot at passing Dick Dastardly!
[4] vs
[4+2=6]Later loser! Hee ho! Jack peels out, using his new choco-tires to claw his way past Dick Dastardly and taking the lead!
Jack takes 5th place!-1 momentum (Now 1)
Dick Dastardly manages to right his kart before falling into the pit, mostly due to his high acceleration system, but he's in no position to catch up to that dratted ice cream cone!
Bowser gets another whiff of dark star smell as Waluigi jets away! Ugh! Evil! He can't catch up!
Waluigi is INVINCIBLE! SURELY HE WILL PASS BLUE MUSHROOM CHEATER!
[2+5=7] vs
[6+1=7]WHAT!?
All Waluigi knows is that one moment he passed Crank, then he got cold for some reason, then hot, then cold again and his lousy engine lost power and the mushroom blew right by him!
CHEATING HAS CONTINUED APACE! WALUIGI NEEDS TO FIX AIR CONDITIONING SYSTEM!
Crank hears the roar of purple flames behind him...he foresees another tumble down the ranks...at least til Boomers voice echoes on the radio.
"Crank! We figured it out! Bowsers Pit Crew and us had a powwow-he's using a Dark Star! I'm sending you the full schematics! But for right now...Let him pass, get in his draft, and swap your compensator to hot! And when you see him speed up, swap it back to the previous setting and punch it!"There's few drivers who could pull it off. But Crank was always part of the few who could.
He's little choice but to let Waluigi pass him, but he falls into the purple plumbers draft just as instructed-he can feel both karts chilling up, just like in practice, even while Waluigi rides off...he figures out the plan a few seconds after he's already done it. He swaps his compensator to hot, which naturally gives both of them a minor speed boost. He watches as Waluigis kart incrementally increases speed...and without being told, knows just the right time to swap his compensator back to counter his low loot hiccup.
The 1st switch peppered Waluigis kart with frozen chunks of luckspark. The 2nd melted them into liquid luck. The 3rd one froze them again. And as it turns out, Lucksparks have a really odd relationship with Dark Stars...Crank will learn later that one of the worse drawbacks to Dark Star Juice is it literally causes Luck Sparks to flee your kart, as they're related to stars and the interaction between the latter is pretty explosive. So Waluigis kart suffers a sudden and unfortunate drop in engine power.
Which allows Crank to hold onto his position just a little longer.
Dampe is racing defensively and cannot pull ahead! Well, that was a lot less exciting.
Cleanup PhaseThe racers approach the gleaming item boxes! First come first serve!
[2+1+1=4] Dampe has the most boring lap ever, but he manages a casual power swerve and grabs an item box due to his careful defensive driving!
[7] Red Shell
Hmm, this looks useful if anyone gets ahead of him...it'll dissuade anyone from passing as well.
[1+1-1=1] Crank misses own item box, as he slides in anticipation of Dampe-but Dampes swerve causes him to miss as well as he loses the draft speed he needed to achieve the turn! Fear the untrained novice...
He feels something dark and heavy flipped in his kart. Oh no.
Crank gained a Dark Coin! On his next item box roll, reduce it by 1! ((RM: Nat 1's on item boxes now give you a -1 penalty on your item box roll. If you miss the box, you just get a dark coin that applies to your next roll))
[3+1-1=3][5 boxes remain]
Waluigi meanwhile, wasn't aiming for anything really, but how can you miss all 6 item boxes? You could say he deserves whatever he is about to get! He feels his kart rumble unsteadily, producing a bunch of golden sparks...
Oh well, it was nothing. Waluigi frowns...the smell of poison shroom is now extremely sharp, and he's pretty sure those skull shaped purple heads growing in his backseat are not good.
He hears mouser voices squeaking from inside his corrupted kart.
"Fetch the flamethrowers! They've broken the containment zone!"[6-1+1=6][4 boxes remain]
Bowser has followed this mess from a bit further back, but he can clearly see you should go to the other side to get the item boxes. As it turns out, they're much more lucky!
[10+1+1=12] ((RM: ...Likewise, Nat 6's on item boxes now give you a +1 on your item box roll. If you miss the box, you also get a coin that applies to your next roll. If you ever have both of these coins, they consume each other and give you a free item.))
Bowser watches as his luck circuits overload his star-puter random number generator, so instead of showing him what item he's about to get, simply gives up and allows him to select anything he wants! Now this is how they should treat a king.
Bowser can pick any item from this list!0- Poison Shroom
1- Phanto Puzzlebox *New!* OR Mini-Mushroom (One phanto!)
2- Triple Banana
3- Red Mushroom
4- Blue Mushroom *New!*
5- Mettool *New!*
6- Red Shell
7- Triple Green Shell
8- Fire Flower
9- Red Mushroom
10 Ultra Shroom
He briefly wonders if he'll be allowed to add another key to his collection...
Dick Dastardly needs to replenish his bag of tricks! Activate sucking device!
[Auto-success][3 boxes remain] A box that Jack would have surely picked up, instead flies over to his kart!
[10-1=9] Dick smiles as his cheating program (Muttley programmed it) cleverly cancels out his ultra mushroom and gives him a speed enhancing
red mushroom instead! What diabolical coding!
Jack needs an item too! Surely he can get as luck as some huge lizard or some guy in a purple pantsuit.
[5+1=6][2 boxes remain]
[3-1=2] After this comical turn, Jack isn't surprised to see a
triple banana peels pop up behind his kart.
Tricky can actually pick up and use items due to hidden cybernetic enchantments.
[1+1=2]But the racing master has to shelve his longwinded lore explanation, since all Tricky gets is a dark coin for his trouble.
Cranky[2+1+1=4] is lucky Diddy ran into the Racing Masters office and reminded him that defensive driving actually
increases the chance of getting an item box. He's retroactively rewarded with...
[10] The Golden Shroom!...
Cranks reliable High Acceleration kicks in, keeping him at 2 momentum!
Dick dastardlys High Acceleration kicks in, getting him back in the race at 2 momentum! Maximum value if you race bad!
Racing Order!
1st Place!!!
Momentum- 4
Items-
[Dragged][Red Shell] 2nd!!
Momentum- 2
Items-None
3rd!
Momentum- 5
Items-
[Dragged][Fake Item Box] (1 turns to Poison Shroom!) 4th.!
Momentum- 4
Items-ALL
5th...!
Momentum- 1
Items-
[Dragged][Triple Bananas]
6th..!
Momentum- 2
Items-
[Reserve][Red Mushroom] 7th...?
Momentum- 1
Items-None
8th...
Momentum- 1
Items-
[Reserve][Golden Mushroom]
Waluigi (Fluffe9911)
Place: 3rd
Status- Antimatter Instability (+2 to loot rolls, gain star on 10+. Star makes your kart explode.)
Segment- RED
Module Perks: Waffle Drill, Removed Crank-Strictor Plate, Fake Starheat Vents, Dark Star Fuel (1/3 charges left)
Mid-Race Hiccups: None!
Module Hiccups: Mold Growth, Cold Start, Ghost Kart, Engine Cough
Permanent Hiccups: Mold Growth
Dick Dastardly
Place: 6th
Status- Black Marked by Jack Frost (1 turn)
Segment- RED
Module Perks: High Accel, Dirty Weapons, Loot Vacuum, Choco-Fludd (1/1 charge left)
Mid-Race Hiccups: None!
Module Hiccups: Signal Interference, Greased up, Low Loot, Cold Start
Tricky the Triceratops (Track Boss)
Place: 7th
Status- Normal
Segment- RED
Crank (Toaster)
Place: 2nd
Status-Dark Coin (-1 to next loot roll)
Segment- RED
Module Perks: High Accel, Compensator
Ultra Boost: Streamlined
Mid-Race Hiccups: None!
Module Hiccups: Low Loot, Ice Sparks
Compensated: Low Loot
Bowser (SuperDino85)
Place: 4th
Status- Normal
Segment- RED
Module Perks: Choco-Fludd, Choco-Tires, High Acceleration
Ultra Boost: Item Boost
Module Hiccups: Sticky Wheel, Ghost Kart
Dampe (chaotick21)
Place: 1st
Status- Normal
Segment- RED
Module Perks: Ramming Speed
Ultra Boost: Compensator
Mid-Race Hiccups: None!
Module Hiccups: None!
Compensated: Cold Start
Cranky Kong (monk12)
Place: 8th
Status- Normal
Segment- RED
Module Perks: Streamlined, Aerodynamic, Choco-Fludd, Choco-Tires
Mid-Race Hiccups: None!
Module Hiccups: Poor Handlingx2, Ghost Kart, Faulty Weapons
Jack Frost (Egan_BW)
Place: 6th
Status- Black Marked by Dick Dastardly (1 turn)
Segment- RED
Module Perks: Chocoties, Dirty Weapons, Ramming Speed, Removed Crank-Strictor Plate
Mid-Race Hiccups: None!
Module Hiccups: Featherweight, Faulty Weapons, Low Loot, Signal Interference
...
"Crank with his usual amazing defensive racing!"
"That's a sight to see, but can he hold off Waluigi forever?""And that battle in the first turn between Jack and Dick, that's going in the record books! They sure didn't waste time trying out the new ramming rules!""Next up is the red segment of the track-everyone's going to gain a burst of speed right at the start-if they wanna take a gamble and do an amazing stunt, they'll fly a lot further!""But as any pro skater would tell you, doing a 350 nosebone into shattering your pelvis doesn't you get any rewards!""And be careful racers-the track to either side is filled with patches of Nippers!"Nippers look like a bunch of angry garlic plants whose only motivation is be more interesting than spikes as a hazard.
Author
Topic: MKL21 Grand Prix-S1, R2: Choco Raceway (Turn 5-Mudslide!) (Read 18844 times)