They might just hit it off and take turns slapping eachothers cheek in a respectful
manner, goku is strong but I don't quite see him picking a fight with jesus unless they happen to draw eachother in the first round of a tournament
The scene is: Jesus just multiplied the bread, and at first folks were ecstatic, but soon grumbling is heard among the crowd. Jesus pushes his way through the crowd - since nobody is looking at him anymore - towards the center of attention. He sees Goku who just finished 70 loafs of bread, and a hundred fish, he looks slightly self-aware but smiles confidently. "That guy just ate all the food in like 30 seconds", yells one angry bystander. Jesus mildly befuddled but unphased, smiles back at Goku and walks towards him.
Jesus: "Hello my brother I am Jesus, I hope we could satiate you."
Goku: "Oh hi there, hehe, I'm Goku" he scratches his head "you don't have any desert have you?"
A woman in the crowd gasps and faints.
Jesus, looking down the baskets, thinks: "Did he not leave a single crumb? Father how can I summon more food if I do not have a single crumb to begin with? Oh great father how did you achieve it? Are you trying to show me? Are you trying to teach me a lesson about gluttony, or maybe humility? Is Goku the lesson?"
Jesus, fumbling: "Sorry my brother we do not have anymore food, and all these people around us are still hungry too. Tell me Goku, are you still hungry too? Because the lord does not take too kindly on gluttony, but I am more than willing to forgive you.
Jesus notices the woman that fainted in the crowd, half doubting his own abilities (did he actually multiply the bread? How could one man eat so much? Were the breads hollow? He intended to appear magnanimous, but now he felt stupid for not trying the bread first before giving it out), he rushes over to the woman to see if he is still able to get her back on her feet and as soon as he touches her shoulder she regains consciousness. Meanwhile Goku notices a non-negligeable amount of Chi flowing, his curiousity is spiking.
Goku: "Why are these people hungry does this lord you mentioned keep all the food to himself?"
Jesus: "My fath- the lord watches over his herd like a shepard"
Goku: "The lord is your father and has many sheep?" jesus cringes "...why does he not share them with the hungry?"
God speaks telepathically to Jesus: "Son, BE COOL, this guy is not only buddy buddy with my big boss son, I swear by my name, he duplicated my boss, zen'o'sama the omniking, supreme ruler of all the multiverses. You hear that son? This goku actually duplicated zen'o'sama, and now there is two of them breathing down my neck. You leave me the fuck out of this!"
Jesus: "He's my- the lord is not of this world, it's complicated, ehr, there are no sheep, that is just a parable -ugh- I just... I just feed the hungry"
Goku looks saddened: "You mean all these people will not eat because of me?"
Jesus: "It is okay brother I feed all the hun -gry"
Goku just flew of to the sea, leaving the horizon within the duration of a syllable.
Jesus scratches his head steering into the distance as he mumbles: "father what didn't you tell me?"
God: "Sshhhhht!"
Mere seconds later, something grotesquely large appears on the horizon, approaching.
"flying whale!" Yells somebody in the crowd, as the very next moment, the whale slams into the soil at a safe'ish distance, shaking the very ground everybody looking stands upon.
Goku: "I brought this as a thank you hehe" smirking "I am not a great cook but it should make up for my uhm, gluttony" he dismisses the last word with a careless wave.
Jesus is just staring, mouth open.
Goku: "I think you are stronger than you look, do you want to fight me after we all filled up?"
Jesus looking quite shocked: "My brother I do not fight anybody, if somebody causes me injury" pointing at his face "I turn the other cheek" pointing he cheek towards Goku.
Goku, computing: "are you sure?"
Jesus: "Yes"
Goku: "Really?"
Jesus: "Of course"
Goku: "Now?"
Jesus: "What do you mean now? Allways, and everytime!"
Goku: "Uhhm... ok"
Goku slaps jesus on the cheek, sending him 20 yards down the field. "Oops"
Goku running over to Jesus: "Are you ok?"
Somehow Jesus is able to get up by himself, mumbling: "father give me strength" as he turns the other other cheek to Goku.
Jesus: "Do what you must Goku I accept my faith"
Goku: "Just show me your power allready, I don't want to harm you man, I just want to have a good fight"
Jesus, computing: "What?"
Goku: "Hit me as hard as you can"
Jesus: "I would never-"
Goku: "HIT ME"
Jesus: "you turn the other cheek when-"
Goku: "COME OOOON"
God: "Son..!"
Wet fart of a sissy slap, awkward silence. Jesus sends a few more sorry slaps at Goku, and suddenly he starts laughing hysterically. The crowd is contaminated with laughter too, and at one point even Goku joins into the laughing, even if he doesn't fully understand why. They lit many fires and roasted a truckload of whalemeat. Nobody went home hungry and everybody had a good time and for fucks sake I wrote enough.
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Topic: Which historical figure punched the highest above his weight class? (Read 1345 times)