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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM N-th: King Velarien of Bailemarr!  (Read 27291 times)

Haspen

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SPAMKINGDOM N-th: King Velarien of Bailemarr!
« on: March 25, 2022, 01:25:04 pm »

(Again).

You know the drill.

And if you don't: pick the choices below and we shall start a fast-paced dynastic game!

Name: Of the future King of Bailemarr
Name's Trait: Martial, Charismatic, Wise, Healthy, Lucky
Kingdom's Bonus: Happiness, Population, Economy, Army



« Last Edit: September 25, 2022, 04:11:16 am by Haspen »
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Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Glass

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM N-th
« Reply #1 on: March 25, 2022, 01:28:46 pm »

Velarien the Charismatic, ruler of the Economically-prosperous kingdom of Bailemarr!
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Quote from: FallacyOfUrist (on Discord, 11/15/21)
Glass is, as usual, correct.
Yep, as ever, I bestow upon Glass the expected +1
I'm gonna say we go with whatever Glass's idea is.

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM N-th
« Reply #2 on: March 25, 2022, 01:38:58 pm »

You are Velarien, King of Bailemarr!

You long talked about the injustices of the tyrant Dumborr, who mistreated the people and scorned the gods. Using your wits and charm, you managed to rally a bunch of either well-meaning or opportunistic nobles, and the joint army of rebels marched against the capital. The loyalists were defeated, the tyrant drowned in the moat, and then the people, charmed by your charismatic demeanor, declared you the King!

The Kingdom of Bailemarr, whilst not especially large or powerful, has long enjoyed the presence of large deposits of gold ore, making it a wealthy and economically strong monarchy. These deposits once filled the pockets of Dumbarr's mercenaries; now, hopefully, they will be better spent.

800 AD*

The Advisor, elderly and well-educated man, has arrived in your new study to present you the fabled documents - the Scrolls of Kingdom Status - that describe everything about the Kingdom itself.

Happiness: 3
Population: 3
Economy: 5
Army: 3

He is talking in purple prose about the meanings of these arcane numbers and words, whilst you wonder how exactly such artifacts of hundreds of years of administration could contain so little. Never mind, you will understand later.

All hail King Velarien!

800 AD, Spring

A delegation of mayor and village elders has arrived for an audience, the guards announce.

"Good King Bailemarr, the times of Dumbarr are gone but his rule has choked the people's spirits. As it is, the Year 800 is the Year of Spirits, and according to orthodox ways of Pantheonism, we ought to celebrate the occurence with festivals. Ours a rich kingdom, surely there must be some money to make the people happy and elated?"

A) "Nay! I'm running a business here!"
B) "Bring forth the finest wine! We shall celebrate till morning star!"
« Last Edit: March 25, 2022, 01:44:14 pm by Haspen »
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Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Glass

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM N-th
« Reply #3 on: March 25, 2022, 01:42:54 pm »

B! Dumborr scorned the gods, we shan't step the same path as that failure of a ruler!
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Quote from: FallacyOfUrist (on Discord, 11/15/21)
Glass is, as usual, correct.
Yep, as ever, I bestow upon Glass the expected +1
I'm gonna say we go with whatever Glass's idea is.

Solymr

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM N-th
« Reply #4 on: March 25, 2022, 01:46:43 pm »

B! Dumborr scorned the gods, we shan't step the same path as that failure of a ruler!

Plus add a kingly speech, can't let that charisma go to waste ;v
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM N-th: King Velarien of Bailemarr!
« Reply #5 on: March 25, 2022, 01:50:58 pm »

You sponsor the festivals to celebrate both the spiritual occurence and fall of Dumborr.

Quote
5

And everyone rejoiced!

800 AD, Summer

You look at the painting of a young woman, with a sly smile and sparkling green eyes, a flowing waterfall of bright yellow hair, and a black pin of a birthmark under her left eye. Her green dress accents well her torso and shapes hidden under the folds of cloth.

You briefly wonder whether the painter was adding a bit too much detail or not, but you have to agree - the lady is beautiful.

"And what is the name of this goddess of beauty?" The Advisor smiles.

"She is princess Talia of Forc, my liege. One of her father's courtiers just arrived at the palace, seeking whether the new king - whom they heard is still a bachelor - would be willing to marry the princess. Although she is fourth in the line to throne of Forc, well behind her three elder brothers, this union could secure both your family line and gain us a potential ally."

A) "Nay!"
B) "Splendid! Prepare a proper response and send the courtier back with gifts!"
C) "Splendid! I shall compose a suitable letter of response myself!"
« Last Edit: March 25, 2022, 01:53:06 pm by Haspen »
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Glass

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM N-th: King Velarien of Bailemarr!
« Reply #6 on: March 25, 2022, 01:54:19 pm »

Why the hell not?
C!
Logged
Quote from: FallacyOfUrist (on Discord, 11/15/21)
Glass is, as usual, correct.
Yep, as ever, I bestow upon Glass the expected +1
I'm gonna say we go with whatever Glass's idea is.

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM N-th: King Velarien of Bailemarr!
« Reply #7 on: March 25, 2022, 01:59:54 pm »

You agree to the proposal, and compose a letter filled with promises of love, well-being and faithfulness.

Quote
3*

You hum, your eyebrows furrowing.

Is it the lack of poetic muse? Or perhaps you're a bit too obsessed?

You re-read the letter, and while it seems all proper to you, you wonder if Princess Talia would be receptive to such a... honest prose.

A) This won't do! I ought to re-write the letter.
B) If I send some gifts of gold and jewelry alongside the letter, it should temper any miscommunication my prose might contain!
Logged
SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Glass

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM N-th: King Velarien of Bailemarr!
« Reply #8 on: March 25, 2022, 02:02:43 pm »

A
Logged
Quote from: FallacyOfUrist (on Discord, 11/15/21)
Glass is, as usual, correct.
Yep, as ever, I bestow upon Glass the expected +1
I'm gonna say we go with whatever Glass's idea is.

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM N-th: King Velarien of Bailemarr!
« Reply #9 on: March 25, 2022, 02:06:23 pm »

You decide to re-write the letter using a few different words in a few different verses...

Quote
4*

Hmmmmmmmm.

You grit your teeth a little. You wish it wasn't suddenly so hard to convey your feelings on paper.

A) Let's include some gifts of goldcrafts and gilded ware just to be sure.
B) It's good as it is!
Logged
SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Glass

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM N-th: King Velarien of Bailemarr!
« Reply #10 on: March 25, 2022, 02:09:50 pm »

B! If she doesn't respond well to our words from the heart, then what would golden gifts gain us but feigned infatuation?
Logged
Quote from: FallacyOfUrist (on Discord, 11/15/21)
Glass is, as usual, correct.
Yep, as ever, I bestow upon Glass the expected +1
I'm gonna say we go with whatever Glass's idea is.

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM N-th: King Velarien of Bailemarr!
« Reply #11 on: March 25, 2022, 02:27:30 pm »

You seal the letter and present it to the courtier. He bows his head and promises to deliver it to his liege with greatest haste.

800 AD, Autumn

"A what?!"

"A flowering pestilence, m'liege!" The distressed peasant from the northlands intones. "Red flowers, blooming all over our crops and withering them! Livestock munches down the flowers and dies in spams and foam of mouth! It all started in the last days of midsummer, and then spread rapidly, and I dread to think what will happen to our food supplies if the bloom consumes both this year's harvest and our livestock!"

"There is nothing in my books about a flower as such, my King." Advisor leans towards you. "This flower might be, of course, a natural item coming from some unexplored wilds, but I fear something wrong is with the world right now. Perhaps some extraordinary means are required to deal with this pestilent bloom?"

A) "My army will stomp and burn all those flowers!"
B) "A wizard! Get me a wizard!"
C) "It's just a flower, it will wither and die when the time is right."
D) "We ought to hire adventurers to determine the root cause of this blooming death!"
Logged
SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Glass

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM N-th: King Velarien of Bailemarr!
« Reply #12 on: March 25, 2022, 02:33:22 pm »

D B!
Unfortunately, adventurers are notorious for making things worse and being difficult to dispose of.
Logged
Quote from: FallacyOfUrist (on Discord, 11/15/21)
Glass is, as usual, correct.
Yep, as ever, I bestow upon Glass the expected +1
I'm gonna say we go with whatever Glass's idea is.

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM N-th: King Velarien of Bailemarr!
« Reply #13 on: March 25, 2022, 04:08:01 pm »

You send messengers across the Kingdom, announcing that you seek the services of elusive and mystical Wizards.

800 AD, Mid-Autumn

Quote
3*, 4

Courtier from the Kingdom of Forc arrives, bearing bad news. Your letter was ill-received by Princess Talia, who seemingly saw through your prose and decreed you an obsessed lunatic. How rude!

It goes without mention that she won't become your wife in any near future.

As for Wizard-hunting, your messengers heard tales that one might be roaming through a neighbouring kingdom. They've sent someone to find him and hopefully convince him to come help destroy the pestilent bloom.

800 AD, Late Autumn

Quote
6

Courtiers murmur and exchange glances of terror when the robed, bearded Wizard enters the audience room. Despite him wearing wooden clogs, his footsteps are eerily silent.

He is truly a Wizard; a man of no mortal possessions, a spirit of no mortal anchor, dressed like a human yet in the same time, he is not one. They say Wizards were before humans, before dragons, before the gods awoke from their first sleep.

He approaches your throne, and you shift uncomfortably on your seat as the Wizard's deep eyes stare as if looking directly into your soul.

"I have heard of the pestilent bloom that grows within your Kingdom's boundaries." The Wizard speaks in a deep, soft voice. "When the blossom of death thrives, the blossom of life shrivels. For the former to die and wither, the latter must be reborn." There's a silence before you furrow your brow.

"What is the meaning of this?"

"I will explain shortly, young monarch." He replies, his body unmoving. "But for my services, the price is steep. What can you offer me?"

A) "All the noble titles and wealth that you desire!"
B) "I shall make you a co-ruler of my Kingdom!"
C) "I do not know what I can offer a being of such power as yours."
D) "Riddles are not of any help to me! If you wish to speak in riddles, then you might as well just leave!"
Logged
SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Glass

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM N-th: King Velarien of Bailemarr!
« Reply #14 on: March 25, 2022, 04:10:07 pm »

C
Seriously what would the dude even want
Logged
Quote from: FallacyOfUrist (on Discord, 11/15/21)
Glass is, as usual, correct.
Yep, as ever, I bestow upon Glass the expected +1
I'm gonna say we go with whatever Glass's idea is.
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