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[Scoops Novel]

You're the virus, you could at least infect intruders.

[King Zultan]

Why don't we have door mimic guard the door mimic?

[Scoops Novel]

We don't have enough condoms for that. In fact, we're probably encouraging them.

[King Zultan]

We must acquire additional condoms!


Also if we encourage the door mimics we can create an army of them.

[Starver]

Imagine the door on door action...

[Scoops Novel]

Sorry guys, the markets already been cornered.

[Loud Whispers]

I'd make a shitty corporate dungeon where the walls are endless thin dividers and the minions are terrified underpaid kobolds, depressed skeletons who keep going through the motions of work without accomplishing any work, and four devils in suits, skirts and ties who somehow devour 99% of minion salary. That way the low-budget would work in my favour and the overseers could find ways to generate revenue by forcing all the kobolds to grind for Gacha loot to be resold at reasonable prices. It would also give heroes motivation to raid the dungeon lair at a low low cost, as giving them actual treasure sounds expensive, so I can just give them virtual treasure instead

[Scoops Novel]

I demand better standards of villainy.

[King Zultan]

But better standards cost to much money, gotta keep expenses down and profits high!

[Scoops Novel]

I thought we were re-investing everything.

[TamerVirus]

I thought we were doing a stock buyback

[TD1]

We must acquire additional condoms!

Otherwise you'll get an STD?

(Sexually transmitted door)

[Loud Whispers]

I thought we were doing a stock buyback

Naturally that is a top priority for any Chief Evil Officer, lest your dungeon become vulnerable to corporate raids from adventurers

[Scoops Novel]

Chief Evil Officer

No no no. Your terminology's all wrong. We say "Warlord" here.

[EuchreJack]

Apparently, the "adventurers" actually work for OSHA...