Hey, me.
Last time you were staring down the end of the year, you were scared and angry. Scared you wouldn't amount to something, angry that you hadn't the gumption to amount to something. Scared about the plague and tumult out there. Angry about that, too. Scared because there was no vaccine available to you yet. Angry that you were getting no closer to leaving the country.
Alone, too, in a sense, but the aloneness felt farther away knowing the danger that togetherness posed. You knew enough to grit your teeth and shoulder on. You had friends in the area, friends who proved to be invaluable in keeping your head on straight, friends generous in their compassion and rapport, together when safe, away but near when not.
Now? Well, 2021 is drawing to a close. There's a sort of serenity I have at this point in the year, and as banal as it sounds, it mostly stems from having a comfortable job I'm good at, and an arm full of the best antibodies science could come up with. Friends are still close, family is still in good health, I have a course set and a routine to follow it on. Will it be enough experience to leave the country on? Well, that I don't know, but if my favorite place overseas opens up work visas again, the resume's gonna be a lot more compelling!
It'll be a task for the new year, then, to see if software testing/QA is something I can do professionally enough to leave.
I tacked on seven behemoths this year and mostly just dabbled at them, completing only one. Let's aim for sensible goals, not lofty ones. I still need to fight the malaise of indifference and apathy that I've buried my security career under- it'd be foolhardy for me to assume this year will be different, it never just *happens* differently when it comes to goals. But... For the love of life, get that security+ cert. You're 90% of the way there. You discovered you really like reading again this last month or two, maybe you can find it in you to build on that one from the cushy beanbag chair.
I'm... Proud of myself right now, I guess? There's a lot of ways this year could have gone wrong, and much of the reasons it hasn't has been serendipity, but still. Remember how grateful you've been about reaching this point in 2021, remember to continue to act positively for other people. Remember, possibly with a bleak chuckle, the embers of optimism cultivated here at the end of the year. Remember to do a little better, try a little harder, at goals you set to build yourself. Remember that consistency is key. Remember, 'cuz this could be a painful reminder of all the things you didn't do or feel right about at the end of 2022, ay? But also, remember to be kind to yourself. I recall some feelings of self-resentment for not doing more during the pandemic. You survived, and that's enough. With some neuroses, sure, but it's all the same. You can figure out how to meaningfully contribute to the greater world later.
Well, here's the barrage of things to reflect on at the far end of the next one.
- Didja get that cert? :U
- How bad did Omicron get?
- Did everyone make it to the end of the year? (yeesh)
- Did you vote in whatever elections were going on and stay cognizant of political malaise?
- As of this post, you have fifteen houseplants! How many d'you have now?
- Whatever happened to that squishy spot on the floor? Prolly not your problem if you moved, but still!
- Did you go through all of 2022 assuming you were 29 and not 28? Shit, you get that fleeting fear of mortality under wraps?
- Whatcha driving? I bet your brother's Malibu shit the bed by this point.
- You ever figure out Python?
- Sort out that feeling of needing to be responsible/in control yet?
I think that's all for now. Here's to good health, good plants, no fungus gnats, and a future we can believe in.
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Topic: Time Capsule 2022 (Read 1624 times)