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[femmelf]

Hi there.

I fortunately have a job, and support myself while being disabled without taking benefits from anyone and only the physical help I absolutely need. I mostly just tough through it. It's difficult and painful for me to walk but I do it with a walker or sometimes a cane when I'm feeling better. I can sit just fine mostly as long as I don't mess up the nerves involved. Permanent nerve damage from injuries is fun. Basically the doctors can't seem to do anything about it. I refuse to take opioids because those things are addictive and had bad side effects for me. I was offered a neurectomy but that would leave me without feeling in a good portion of my leg(s). So, I would not be able to feel it if I got hurt there..... This would be bad if I got a cut or infection I could not feel and shaving your legs is hard enough as it is without worrying if you cut yourself without feeling it. So, no thanks.

My work is letting people keep working from home if they are within 30 miles, but I am a little further out than that. Like 40 or so miles away. My immediate supervisor thinks this is BS but there's nothing they can do. It's a stupid rule and the managers are not budging. She says if I can get a doctor's note that might work though, because then it would justify why they would let me do it and not everyone else. That's kind of crummy of them, but ... Basically I am being told I need a doctor's note for a reasonable accommodation. Weird how before this I was always just being the good girl and not making a fuss for anything but now they do this so they can justify not letting everyone work from home too. I don't want to be disabled and I want to work (what else am I going to do with myself?) but it would be just a million times easier if I didn't have to walk around and could just sit in my chair at home and work instead of trekking in all the time. It's just so stupidly weird that literally half my office is working from home but the one girl who uses a walker can't because she lives 10 miles too far away. Honestly I think everyone is sort of looking at this and silently calling BS in their heads but they dare not say anything.

My issue is that my doctors just don't seem to want to do anything anymore from my perspective or declare me just disabled or whatever with a note so people will shut up and let me work. It's been 7 years going on 8 years and I have been good about all this. I've tried fixes and they just don't work. Physical therapy, injections (they won't tell me what kind but a "nerve block" under fluroscopy (like an X-ray movie) does not seem to help and that swelled up), and everything basically just does not help overall.

I do not know what to say to get a doctor to just give me a stupid doctor's note to let my boss let me work from home like I did during COVID. I don't want to get government benefits or anything. I just want to be able to do my job without a bunch of pain. I just feel like instead of helping me, I go to doctors and end up paying hundreds of dollars of copays to be told there is something wrong with me some type of (chronic neuropathy and nerve damage in a bunch of nerves they name off) but they do not suggest other treatments anymore. I wonder why I go. It's expensive and I can't afford it for what feels like no result.

TL:DR: If I lived 10 miles closer to work, I could work at home like everyone else. I don't live 10 miles closer to work so I need a doctor's note to work at home like everyone else, who isn't disabled. How do I get my doctor to write me a note so I can show it to my boss and the managers will let me keep working from home? Don't want opioids. Don't want handouts. Just want to keep working ... from home like half my office does already.

[eerr]

Find someone to forge it.

[femmelf]

Find someone to forge it.

Yeah... I'm gonna have to say no on that one for obvious reasons. They'd check on it too to make sure it came from the doctor's office. Morally objectionable too. Sounds too much like fraud or something. Just, no thank you.

[Maximum Spin]

Man, wow. I really respect that sense of pride.
Does the doctor's office or equivalent you use offer any kind of telehealth system? It sounds to me like a major problem you have is that, talking to doctors, they get distracted trying to push you into stuff you don't want because that's what they're used to people asking for. It might help to be able to describe exactly what you want in a message, in a really clear text format, so it's impossible to misunderstand.

[Quarque]

Sounds awefully frustrating. Could you describe in more detail what you asked from your doctors and how they responded?

It is possible that they're unwilling to declare you "disabled", but they found out you have chronic neuropathy and nerve damage. If a doctor is willing to write a declaration that just states exactly what they found, it may be enough for management to let you work from home.

How is the job market? Would it be worth looking for a better employer?

[femmelf]

I guess it's possible I could be miscommunicating with doctors. However, I just get the impression they are completely on a different planet.

What I would say: "Hi, I need a doctor's note about my nerve damage so I can work from home. It's painful. I use a walker/cane. Half my office works from home and there's a stupid rule saying I live 10 miles too far away. If I get a doctor's note, that will likely be ok and let me work from home. Can I please do that and I will do whatever to make that as easy as possible for you. Thank you."

What they seem to hear: "Hum, for some evil reason this person who PT, medications, nerve block injections and other things hasn't worked wants a doctor's note. Plus, she refused surgery (neurectomy)!? I must not give doctor note! it is a precious resource and must be guarded. I must force her to come in for at least 3 more in person examinations which will cost $300 a piece in copays so I can sit there, collect money, prescribe nothing but opioids she won't take and bill more!"

I do not get their reservation on this, at all. I see exactly 0 reason they can't write something like,

Dear Sir or Madam,

My name is [Doctor's name] and I have treated Ms. [My name] for 7 years. She has nerve pain in the following nerves [list of nerves]. This causes her symptoms such as pain when walking and to use a walker or cane when walking. She has tried physical therapy, and nerve block injections but no relief resulted. I understand your company employs her and requires a physician note to permit her to work from home. Allowing her to work from home would result in less pain and related symptoms. It would be a reasonable accommodation to permit her to continue doing her work from home. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact my office at [Doctor's office phone number] or [email]. 

Sincerely,
[Doctor's name]

Heck they could even put something like this and I'd be fine with it:
Limitation: This letter is for the purpose of allowing Ms. [My name] to work from home remotely only. This is not an endorsement of disability status for purposes of receiving disability benefits from the social security administration, veteran's administration or other agency.

But for some strange reason, I call up the scheduler who asks me what I would like an appointment for and then they treat me like I'm not making any sense at all. No clue what to do.


Also, thank you, Quarque it is frustrating. Half my coworkers work from home full time. The one girl who uses a walker/cane, can't because she's 10 miles too far... I couldn't make this crap up if I tried. I guess they don't want people moving too far away when they get full remote so they put a distance on it, but come on....

The job market is supposed to be better, but also when you're disabled it's different. I mean basically I'm not Einstein, but I'm not stupid. People still look at me like I'm dumb though. They see someone who has uses a walker or has more difficulty with a cane and then think there's something wrong with me mentally. Clearly, I can type on a keyboard..... I'm good at my job. I routinely get 4.6  out of 5.0 ratings (I've been told nobody gets a perfect 5.0). I don't cause issues and I'm good at my job. Leaving seems risky and it's really easy to end up unemployed when you're disabled. It would be hard to get disability benefits if that happened and I would rather not have to get those anyhow, because I'd rather work. [/list]

I think one of the issues may be that I just tough through it and don't go to the doctor a lot. This seems to baffle them. It's incredibly simple. I live in America, the land of Medical Debt and doctors are expensive. I have insurance, the copays are $300... a pop. Why O why have I not been going to the doctor every few weeks... Well, let's see if I went 12 times a year (once per month) that'd be $300 x 12 = $3,600 I don't have with the cost of living doubling recently with inflation.... The sarcasm ... it just kinda drips, I know and I'm sorry for that, but it's a coping mechanism. I just bugs me they can't comprehend that.

[EuchreJack]

Doctors suck, work sucks, systems suck, the whole world is a giant shitball hurtling through space. The only peace is in death. Fight or die.

...

Ok, now that we got the emotional stuff out of the way, let's talk about how to navigate this system.

Work: Once you provide them with a Doctor's Note, they actually can't fire you AND they are required to provide you the reasonable accommodation that you need. But because they have those shackles put upon them, they NEED that Doctor's note.
Objective: Obtain Doctor's Note.

DOCTOR (NOT Nurse Practitioner): First, Call the Office.  This will take 30 minutes.  You will be on hold. They will probably fuck it up the first time. Life sucks, because anyone that designs these systems wants you to fail. But fuck those guys, since the people who actually work in these systems want them to work.
Explain to them that you need a note for your employer. Mention your medical record. If your issues have been properly documented (again REFER TO YOUR MEDICAL RECORD), then maybe they can write a note based upon your record.
...
But, they probably "won't be sure".
They will absolutely try to schedule you for a follow up. See if they can write the note without the appointment. If they can't...then you'll have to bite the bullet and do the appointments. Absolutely try to see the same Doctor that you've seen before, otherwise you are starting from Square One/Zero.

If you're really luck, maybe they'll be willing to do the note and schedule the appointment. THIS IS GREAT because once you got the note, you can cancel the appointment. Fuck those guys!

Remember the slogan for the US SEALS: The Last Easy Day was Yesterday.

Good luck. Nobody's ever gonna know how brave you are.

[Maximum Spin]

(NOT Nurse Practitioner)

My experience is that NPs are much more willing to do something out of the Standard Practice like this when asked, and the note counts the same either way.

[EuchreJack]

(NOT Nurse Practitioner)

My experience is that NPs are much more willing to do something out of the Standard Practice like this when asked, and the note counts the same either way.

My experience is NPs usually say "nothing wrong with you, it's all in your head". But you can see them sooner, and some are alright.

...
I forgot to mention: In the likely event that the Doctor's office is unable to issue a Note without a visit, send your employer a written notice that you are scheduled for an appointment with your doctor to discuss the issuing of a formal notice of your disability.
Since your manager is not actively trying to screw you, you should be able to get a temporary accommodation pending favorable diagnosis from your doctor.

[sofanthiel]

Find someone to forge it.

How does one even go about doing something like that?

[anewaname]

When dealing with the doctors' scheduler's, avoid giving them info besides name, insurance info, and available times for an appointment. You do not want the scheduler to be involved in per-determining anything besides the appointment date/time. Tell them you would like to talk to the doctor for a bit about your condition and do not elaborate on your condition. If they press you on this, keep pleasantly dodging their questions until they either accept your unwillingness to talk with them about it, or they tell you what the actual legal need is for you to tell them this info (which there would be none). If the scheduler tries to get a bit coercive, then rebuff them with something like "do you have a medical degree?" in the same pleasant tone. Your ability to get the doctor to help you depends on that doctor not being prejudiced toward you before you walk in and start talking.

Once you meet doctor, do not express any excessive emotional output during the conversation with the doctor. There might be a political dilemma they are facing that you are unaware of, and they are more likely to help you if you are able to control your emotions throughout the conversation.

Attempt this with multiple doctors, because someone will help you out or at least explain why they are not able to, and if one explains why they cannot help with this, you might be able to change your story for the next attempt.

[ChairmanPoo]

I think that's not a good idea. I think it's quite reasonable to provide a stated reason for the visit beforehand.

[femmelf]

I think that's not a good idea. I think it's quite reasonable to provide a stated reason for the visit beforehand.

Yeah.... Part of me knows this is correct, but a part of me has been screwed over by the system so much that I just don't trust it. I believe in medical science, but the administration/insurance sucks.

So, update: Various scheduling problems, and perhaps even a solution or two....

I left a message with his secretary and explained it all to her. I just did the upfront thing and more or less begged for a note. She originally said I could not get in to see him until at least February..... That is basically 5 or 6 months away September, October, November, December, January February and ..... Really? I get it but come on. I called her back and begged her for anything sooner, a canceled appointment notification I might be able to fill if someone else did not show up. Anything.

Basically, I now have a tentative video remote appointment in either a week or two weeks. The primary date is if he can make it (no emergencies pop up) and the secondary is a fallback. I expressed my eternal gratitude, because I need this.

Also, she indicated in order to get medical records copies I would have to sign a release and put in a request with their medical records department. This would take a long amount of time and there is nothing she can do about it. Evidently, that is a whole big ordeal and will NOT happen fast no matter what. From what I gathered, the medical records department does not want to hear it from anyone. That just is what it is. Ok....

So, here's hoping. I have never had a video doctor's appointment before but .... better than waiting half a year or whatever. Plus if it is easier for him then I have no issues. I'm a little worried it might be recorded, but if that ever gets out, then I'm sure there's got to be a privacy violation issue or something judging from how tight their medical records department is.

[nenjin]

So, here's hoping. I have never had a video doctor's appointment before but .... better than waiting half a year or whatever. Plus if it is easier for him then I have no issues. I'm a little worried it might be recorded, but if that ever gets out, then I'm sure there's got to be a privacy violation issue or something judging from how tight their medical records department is.

Medical consults with your doctor are covered under HIPA. So you should be fine. And in the event it were to get out for some reason you can sue the ever loving shit out of someone.

[femmelf]

Thank you. I wasn't sure why he wanted to see me on video verses talk to me on the phone for this, given that it isn't like he's going to be able to see the nerves inside me on a regular camera. I also was not going to bring this up for fear he may decide I'm right and then insist I see him in person... 5 or 6 or however many months later. I appreciate it.

Hang on a second, you're a physician right? I imagine you have a million things to do and your time is very valuable.
I understand that the world simply does not have enough doctors. It's a hard job and I don't want to make it harder.

May I please ask for some tips to make things easier on my physician? or physicians in general? (Different in US, but...).
I may be very frustrated with the whole process, but I am just smart enough to know the doctor is not to blame. I also just work sort of adjacent to healthcare in offices and don't know medicine really.
I figured out doctors have a special way of looking at things and I don't want to be a pain for him, especially if he is being nice enough to work me into his (who are we kidding, probably overbooked) schedule.