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Author Topic: The ''Giving Advice for Magmacube's Mental Health'' Thread  (Read 3985 times)

Magmacube_tr

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Re: How is it like to be on antidepressants?
« Reply #15 on: September 16, 2024, 06:31:12 pm »

what about going to church?

*Looks around*

*Still in Türk-fucking-iye*


lmao no
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Re: How is it like to be on antidepressants?
« Reply #16 on: September 17, 2024, 08:01:17 am »

okay then, what about a mosque?
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Wilfred of Ivanhoe

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Re: How is it like to be on antidepressants?
« Reply #17 on: September 24, 2024, 10:38:24 am »

I haven't been on many for very long, but I've eaten quite few different happy pills in my day. Fortunately, I no longer need antidepressants. Whether they're an instant panacea or not depends on whether you have a chemical imbalance or, as you described, a type of soul cancer / circumstantial issue. Anyway, here's what I can tell you about the medicines I've taken that i'm most familiar with:

Buproprion (wellbutrin, NDRI) - This one I feel usually in days or hours. It generally felt to me like a gentle lifting of the "mood floor" compared to being off of it; I wouldn't dip quite so low on the mood scale. My brain adjusted to this one in a matter of months, though, and I was back to feeling pretty crappy due to certain life circumstances that didn't change while I was on it. This is probably the best one I've been on.

Venlafaxine (efexor, SNRI) - This one felt very unpleasant. Again, this one I felt in a matter of hours. I was very positive and high energy on this, but it felt like I had a rocket up my ass. I had *too much* focus, if that makes sense. This one also had an unfortunate sexual side effect for me. Depending on how bad your depression is, it may be worth trying out still.

Fluoxetine (prozac, SSRI) - I was on this one for years in high school. I don't recall necessarily feeling a change, but maybe because it was really long ago.

Again, I have no clue how any of these would play with your brain chemistry, but if you sought help and received any prescription medicines, my advice would be, if you find one that makes you feel more functional, to figure out what's causing the anguish and try to reorganize your life around what's important to you and remove those anguish-causing agents, to the best of your ability. Your brain and body will adjust to the chemicals, so, as Muz said, use them to get out of the pit before they wear off. Best of luck to ye, Magmacube_tr!
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Magmacube_tr

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Re: How is it like to be on antidepressants?
« Reply #18 on: September 25, 2024, 12:11:06 am »

okay then, what about a mosque?

Good idea.

One small problem.

Atheism.


Again, I have no clue how any of these would play with your brain chemistry, but if you sought help and received any prescription medicines, my advice would be, if you find one that makes you feel more functional, to figure out what's causing the anguish and try to reorganize your life around what's important to you and remove those anguish-causing agents, to the best of your ability. Your brain and body will adjust to the chemicals, so, as Muz said, use them to get out of the pit before they wear off. Best of luck to ye, Magmacube_tr!

Yea, I get your point. From what I've gathered from my own research, it seems that there is no way to just know the specific effects of any given anti-depressant beforehand. You might get vague outlines commonalities, but thats it. Thanks.

I was very positive and high energy on this, but it felt like I had a rocket up my ass.

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Magmacube_tr

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Re: How is it like to be on antidepressants?
« Reply #19 on: October 09, 2024, 06:49:06 am »

Okay, another question connected to the original one...

What is it like being in therapy? In the infinitessimal chance I ever step into a therapy session, and I dunno, look at the inkblots or whatever other esoteric shit they make you do there... Like, I imagine it is excruciating? Dentist appointment but for your soul and it hurts a trillion times more?
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Egan_BW

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Re: How is it like to be on antidepressants?
« Reply #20 on: October 10, 2024, 03:22:45 am »

Nah, it doesn't hurt, and as far as I know they don't really do anything esoteric. Ideally it's just having a conversation where the other person is good at getting you to talk to yourself about your feelings so that you can process them. In the worse case you just sit around for 20 minutes and don't get anything done.
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Magmacube_tr

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Re: How is it like to be on antidepressants?
« Reply #21 on: October 10, 2024, 03:48:36 am »

I didn't mean physical pain. I meant the mental pain.

It is painful to talk about stuff, you know? It is straining. It it horrifying because when you talk about it, especially to someone else, they stop being mere feelings. They become more real. More tangible. It is like being exposed.

What I meant by esoteric is it being closed off. In psychology work, analysis is more than what the patients say. For example, what a person draws in a drawing exercise is merely one facet of the total analysis. The attitude, the reaction to the proposition of drawing itself and such are also considered. Patient doesn't knows the exact criteria. And thats the point because otherwise they would be able to manipulate results.

In the worse case you just sit around for 20 minutes and don't get anything done.

Oh, that's actually my specialty...

Where do I sign up?
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delphonso

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Re: How is it like to be on antidepressants?
« Reply #22 on: October 10, 2024, 05:02:02 am »

Therapy is just talking to someone who is good at listening. Rarely do therapists push you to talk about anything at all, and if they do, bail. As you talk with this person more, or just talk more, you'll be more able to open up and discuss whatever is painful, and help alleviate that pain. You could try connecting to an online therapist or something if in-person isn't convenient. That also gives you another level of anonymity and safety, I would say. If a therapist /does/ anything it all, it would be teaching exercises to manage whatever is bothering you - stress, fear, anger, etc. Some may ask you to do a task, like spend some time analyzing yourself on a certain topic or behavior.

I would recommend a therapist who focuses in something with good evidence and science backing them up. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy stands out as being pretty good. Stuff like what you mentioned (analysis) is rife with pseudoscience, because at the end of the day, the criteria is "whatever the therapist thinks is happening" - and this can be miles off. Stuff like multiple personalities and repressed memories are all influential in pop-culture, but have no evidence backing them, and are largely just a therapist coming up with something that 'makes sense' at best, and 'is good for publishing' at worst.

Overall, the risk versus benefit for going to therapy is pretty clear - just go do it. If you're worried about the risks, read up on the risks so that you'll be able to identify them. I.e., if you therapist is trying to hypnotize you to talk with your past lives, you gotta call the certification board on their ass.

anewaname

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Re: How is it like to be on antidepressants?
« Reply #23 on: October 14, 2024, 09:23:20 pm »

Carefully review the "reasons" you are considering going to a therapist... Your "parent's reasons" or your "sibling's reasons" are horrible reasons for seeing a therapist and can put your freedom at great risk later on. The most common reason someone ends up in a "mental institution"/"psych ward" is because family/friends talk with "authorities" how "Magmacube_tr went to a therapist, and I think this about Magmacube_tr". At that point, those "authorities" may have legal rights to make decisions for you.

Having said that, if the reasons you go to a therapist are your own and none of the manipulative people in your life know about it, it is not a bad thing and can help.
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Magmacube_tr

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Re: How is it like to be on antidepressants?
« Reply #24 on: October 15, 2024, 03:29:57 am »

No one knows shit about me, don't worry. Besides, I am a legal adult. I'll just say no, and that would be it. Their wishes be damned. If I ever do this, it will be 100% on my own accord.

For reasons... I mean, I guess I just kinda feel sick? Okay, I am mentally ill and need professional help. It didn't go away in 9 whole years. So I am pretty sure it won't heal by itself.
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Leonardo8

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Re: How is it like to be on antidepressants?
« Reply #25 on: October 15, 2024, 12:02:09 pm »

Okay, another question connected to the original one...

What is it like being in therapy? In the infinitessimal chance I ever step into a therapy session, and I dunno, look at the inkblots or whatever other esoteric shit they make you do there... Like, I imagine it is excruciating? Dentist appointment but for your soul and it hurts a trillion times more?
I mean, therapy is mostly talking. Sometimes there are exercises to do, like writing things down for example or some particular forms of meditation, but talking is the important part. And you are right, it is very hard sometimes. After i go to my therapist there are times when i feel i just spent an hour on a threadmill going on "fast". A good therapist will cut through all the avoidance behaviour and self-lying and get to the core of the problem. But, and that is important, they will do that only when you are strong enough to face the answer. It's painful like building muscles is painful. A slow process that will leave you sore for days on end but will eventually allow you to do stuff you tought absolutely impossible before.
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JBramhall

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Re: How is it like to be on antidepressants?
« Reply #26 on: October 25, 2024, 08:10:01 pm »


...

It's not easy. None of it's easy. But that's why we're here, isn't it?

---

Sorry, I know it's a lot of text, and more than what you asked for with 'what it feels like.' It's a lot to commit to and it's a long process. You're not alone.

That was probably the best metaphor for Depression and Anxiety I can recall ever reading. I logged in for the first time in a while just to Thank You for sharing it and your experience. I needed that.

Okay, another question connected to the original one...

What is it like being in therapy? In the infinitessimal chance I ever step into a therapy session, and I dunno, look at the inkblots or whatever other esoteric shit they make you do there... Like, I imagine it is excruciating? Dentist appointment but for your soul and it hurts a trillion times more?

As someone who has spent ~10 years in my country's (New Zealand) Mental Health System, of which 5 were spent trying to escape it, and endured "Being Sectioned" as NZ calls being locked up in a Psych Ward without process, I will share my story with you.

Remember, Your Miles Will Vary as your Biochemistry is different. Even different brands with the same medication vary as I have experienced. My tale and experience is also fueled with childhood trauma and insecurities but this is a worst case experience.

Fluoxetine (aka Prozac): Been on it twice, once in High School, once at 21. At 21 it put me into a Psych Ward under Section. Zombied me out, eventually caused me to attempt suicide to try to feel something or other odd behaviors. Staring at walls for hours etc.

Here I started Counseling (through both the local Psych Services & Alcohol Addiction Services). If you imagine someone asking you "So what happened in your week? What did you do next? What did that make you feel? What are you planning for this week? Oh, the flowers in the shitty botanical garden measuring 1mx1m are blooming this week" well that was my experience throughout the range of counselors (6+)

Escetalopram/Lamotragine/Zopiclone: No remembered effects but it's been 8+ years

Cetalopram/Lamotragine/Zopiclone: No remembered effects but it's been 8+ years

Venlafaxine: I thought I was happy on it, only when I got off it did I realize how flat and joyless I was.

Risperidone: The feeling this med had 4 days after I started it was incredible. I still remember it and probably will till the day I die. At the time I was sectioned, I think it was due to planning my death to celebrate my birthday (but may have been another), so staring at a caged garden drinking endless decaf coffee without being let into the kitchen, or near a charger, or sharp object, and using polystyrene food trays the government spent $54 million dollars on. Well, sitting there I suddenly noticed the grass. Never before had I seen such green, it was like the transition from Greyscale to Colour. I couldn't believe the brightness, the life, the joy.

Well, due to my history of ditching meds and forgetting the dose occaasionally, the decision was made for Paliperidole (Risperidone but subdermal monthly injection in the ass) to be the go to after release. After spending most of 2019 in and out of psych wards, I was released. Eventually (4 months later) Paliperidole was not effective, and Risperidone was never effective (even at double the dose) as it was initially.

I eventually started seeing a Forensic Psychologist at outpatients not long before I started self medicating on large quantities MDMA. Due to Counselors telling people I knew about what I talked about, I never trusted her. I talked about her thesis paper, about things that didn't bother me, drug reform, psychology practices and theorems, new treatments, etc. But never my issues due to the system here recording everything and using it against you if you try to enter govt service. Eventually they learned of my self medicating & addiction and tried things like having our meetings at the community drug clinic, having a rehab advisor (coincidentally of course) sit next to me in the waiting room, guit trip me over being a funtional drug user, over showing up to my then job high, etc. When I kept choosing drugs over treatment, they discharged me without the diagnosis they had pinned to my back for 7 years and their oversight of my life (11+ years). No more sectioned, no more psych meds or compulsory reviews, no more cops being called when I miss their compulsory appointments.

Well fast forward to me getting clean, and I trusted a trainee counselor at the Hostel I was staying at. Well, she (I later found out) treated sessions like local gossip mills. I'd trust a Forensic Psychologist in the future, but will never trust a councilor. A GP has to earn my trust.

I've no doubt forgotten some meds I've been on, about 5 years ago I had an inch thick collection of different meds I've been on Psych wise.

Nowdays, mostly sober and trying meds again. Specifically Parnate. Been on it ~6 weeks. Instead of the waves of thoughts slamming against the breakwater of my mind, Parnate (even at 20mg) has made the thoughts become ripples instead. My depression still lingers severely. My anxiety still looks for a crack in my head. But joy is harder to find in small things. I could sit in a room while my boss was telling me I'm getting laid off with a smile on my dial still. All Meds have side effects, for me Parnate 3 times made me sleep in while ramping up (but hey, worth it not to bring my entire foundry down due to bad thoughts slamming me like a 20 ton casting).


I like to think of Psych Meds like a crutch, if we never try to better ourselves while recovering from a broken leg we will need a crutch for the rest of our lives. If, once the doctor says it's time to try without it, we try to walk again then we can recover. Figure out what you desire from meds before you go onto them.
If you trust your GP then write out a list beforehand. If not, find another GP or slowly start exposing pieces of yourself to your GP (Not literally, albeit your GP is probably the one person you can guarantee won't be offended by you flashing).
I.e. for me, I straight up told my GP a couple months ago about how an empty space inside me is growing weighing me down, how I've come to realize my anxiety is around people as I can stand half a meter away from molten metal, or slam my gloved hand on a stream of 1400c+ cast iron without fear, but the supermarket poses a challenge without significant cannabis & Nicotine consumption. That interacting with people makes me happy, that making them happy makes me happy, but that happiness feels like a social facade and that I'm still miserable inside. How "if I can see my Grandad without having to leave after being told I'm the most delusional person he's ever met, I'll consider this med successful"


Good Luck Magma, it's a lifelong journey which takes patience
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It's said that love is a battlefield. And knowing is half the battle. And forewarned is forearmed. And fourarmed is half an octopus. Therefore, knowing about future love is a skirmish between two half-octopus Battle Chimeras. And that's alright.

Magmacube_tr

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Re: How is it like to be on antidepressants?
« Reply #27 on: October 27, 2024, 08:04:22 am »

...

Good Luck Magma, it's a lifelong journey which takes patience

But I want my happenis naoooowwwww!!1!

I get it though... It it highly unlikely that I'll have the spoons for it. But if I can do it, I'll keep these in mind.

Also, new thread title.
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JBramhall

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Re: The ''Giving Advice for Magmacube's Mental Health'' Thread
« Reply #28 on: October 27, 2024, 03:43:21 pm »

...

Good Luck Magma, it's a lifelong journey which takes patience

But I want my happenis naoooowwwww!!1!

I get it though... It it highly unlikely that I'll have the spoons for it. But if I can do it, I'll keep these in mind.

I read that as Hap-Penis... Who'd dare steal your Hap-Penis? We'll rise an army that tears across the world (and the 7 seas) to return your Peni! Even if we have to search !!HFS!! we won't stop till your Peni is back in your hand Magma! Albeit the last attempt NZ had at finding something, we found by sinking a ship ontop of it.


On a serious note: Just by asking us, you've made the hardest part of the plunge in admitting you're at a sub-optimal place mentally. If you are struggling with life Magma, do consider meds as they can allow you to live your best life. Just remember, as we've all noted, that they are more a road patch and you still have to put the long yards in. Or you can find a friend (make sure you can trust 'em) and gently reveal your damage. Acceptance heals most scars.

Just whatever you do, believe that no matter how wrong a decision ends up being in hindsight you will make it right eventually. Just like driving down a road, if you make a left turn instead of a right you have to make two more left turns but then you're back on route, well life has the same policy.
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Magmacube_tr

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Re: The ''Giving Advice for Magmacube's Mental Health'' Thread
« Reply #29 on: October 31, 2024, 06:20:14 am »

I read that as Hap-Penis... Who'd dare steal your Hap-Penis? We'll rise an army that tears across the world (and the 7 seas) to return your Peni! Even if we have to search !!HFS!! we won't stop till your Peni is back in your hand Magma! Albeit the last attempt NZ had at finding something, we found by sinking a ship ontop of it.

Ohemgee, thx!


On a serious note: Just by asking us, you've made the hardest part of the plunge in admitting you're at a sub-optimal place mentally...

Not really. It is very complicated. I have never had difficulty in accepting reality and always sought what is real over what is correct. I have admitted to myself since... I guess 7 years now? It is one of the advantages of being neurodivergent. Everything is flat. Neat and square. Evenly cubed. Things, are. Sure, I am the quintessential cloudcuckoolander, but is the evenly shaped cubes in my head which are in chaos. Or are chaos elementals themselves. Not me. You get it.

It is kinda fucked up to be suicidal since 4th grade. But what can you do? It isn't an unique case. My particular neurotype is by and large suicidal.The higher suicide risk brought on by the social and emotional aspects of autism, and the peculiar way it compounds with possessing higher than average IQ makes me a rather high risk individual. It isn't exactly surprising, is what I am getting at. It can even be called mundane.

No, I am not bragging. I naturally excel at pattern seeking and reasoning tasks. Which is what IQ is a measure of. This is a widely shared sentiment on me. Besides, it is of little help here. I didn't reason myself into this spiritual tar pit. I can't pull myself out with it. Pretentiously running diagnostics on myself is not going to magically unfuck my mental health.

I am running on fumes, really. I can't even do anything. It is like being paralysed. Or learned helplessness? Maybe I am just a wimp who can't handle shit. Anyhow, this situation obviously requires at least two people to fix it. It isn't going to just go away. And I can't fix it on my own...
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