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Author Topic: Necrothreat - Teh LOLmod succession fort - PG2 FOR DETAILS  (Read 225605 times)

misko27

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Re: Necrothreat - A Zombie Succession Fort - PG2 FOR DETAILS
« Reply #300 on: September 15, 2012, 11:48:54 pm »

I've decided to update this installments, rather then my usual huge massiveness in a post. Sum up: Lots of random people outside. Also, we have a moatman.

27th of Sandstone: So, I started of my career as leader of this e**ing hole in the ground, after a quick nap.

When I went out to go check how the cleaning was going, I was alerted that there was an axeforumite trapped outside, and a human merchant
trapped inside. It was the random guy from before. Why was that guy still here you ask? He said he can't jump 6 tiles. I told him to ride the mule over it. He told me that wouldn't work. Ass, hasn't he seen it before while shooting falming deer with a axe crossbow? Oh wait, I was dreaming that. Well,  I hope that having one survivor of a caravan is better then no survivers, We really don't need any more sieges at this place. Although, When the human tells them what transpired here, I dount anyone will want to siege.

When I open the bridge, more forumites then I expected come rushing in, especially given I expected only one. Why hadn't anyone told me about the others? I sent people to go rescue the injured, which is exactly when the bridge is retracted. What idiot did that? I don't know; I don't think any dwarf in the mountain knows. Well, fortunately no one got hurt, but one of the human's two remaining guards (who were standing outside, waiting dutifully) fell down. I hope that was't a rental guard.



Seems like he can swim. Well, since I don't have anyone who particularly cares to help him out, I guess he'll be guarding our moat now. He doesn't seem to mind. Probably more interesting then that merchant anyway.

I set up a corpse disposal area, deep in the ground so no one will smell them. Anyway, a planter was beating on some bastard we pulled out of the dirt who also called himself Sprin (who woulda guessed?) When I get a message from da scouts:

That the so oft-mentioned caverns, I wondered? I think I heard about those: See, I was sleeping in a bar once, and these guys came in at some point, and when I woke up, they were talking to this other guy about these deep dark caverns and all the stuff that goes on in there. Something about giant skinless cat shooting webs and hissing at pond-grabbers. No clue what those are either. Anyway, I thought they were myths. There's a deep dark downward passage just beyond where our scouts ventured, but I'd rather leave that alone.

Anyway, while I was looking around, I realized I have no clue where the hell anything is. Worst part is: I've been here the entire time, and yet all I know is that first I was sleeping on sand for a while, then I wasn't, then it smelled like something died, and then someone decided to punish me by making me Overseer. I bet I'm not even on fortress records.

Hey guess what? There are fools who think this is great fort to live. Yeah, I know. You want proof?



Fecking. Migrants. HOW THE [area smudged] DID THEY GET PAST THE [area blacked out] DEMONIC SPAWN OF HELL? THEY HAVE PASSPORTS OR SOMETHING? DID THEY KINDLY ASK: "Dear sir, can we please pass by your passing siege?".

Well, I suppose it's something to help increase the workers numbers. The approaching migrants were confused to see anyone living here at all, let alone supposedly civilized people. They were even more confused when we claimed we controlled this land. I am meself, but if I were ever honest to the people here about what I think they'd be very upset. As in even more upset. And they might overturn our plump helmet stockpiles, and that's bad for misko.

We appeared to have attracted a large ranger population. They made up more then 50% of the new wave. I don't understand what the Home page is trying to say. I think they expected there not to be anything left here, and are trying to start a new settlement. Considering there is a farmer, a miner, and a single fisherman, this theory may hold water. This does not bode well, given news of our troubles (yeah, let's use nice words like that} hasn't spread yet.

Looking through records, I figure there might have been some Giant Langur troubles before I took over. The last four deaths on record are those. And there's langur blood everywhere (you can tell because it smells a lot like cat blood). I wonder why I never noticed. Must've been how they look a awful lot like everything else here: Death. While looking at that, I wondered why there is a male skin listed as deceased. That's literally all there is on report. "Male skin". I decide I don't really want to know; about either the skin or our record-keeper.

A few days later, our remaining professional mason goes mad as I discovered we have no metal works (turns out we do, hard to find shit here) . Good thing someone else did. I also start getting reports that people are missing. I don't really what to do about that, but I assume they're already dead. We find them soon after though, so all good. Not for them, since they're dead, but still. Good to have corpses in coffins instead of piles for once.

Arising as if to illustrate why it's good, The Ghost of the Toady one rises from his corpse a day later. I tell the Archiver, Esther1 to write down that "Life sucks, and Unlife doesn't look too much better, so go to Armok as you should already", and to put this message in his corpse's body, and then go tell a priest to exorcise him. She tells me we have no priests, or paper, or coffins, and his body is in water; moreover she is a dwarf and incapable of such flowery writing. I tell her this does not concern me, and that I have full confidence in her abilities to do so, including putting the message on the floating body. Sure as hell not ME going down there.

To tired to continue for now, napping. Did you know I've been awake for 11 hours now? I'm such a brave person. I can really understand now why these people are so upset: No sleep.
« Last Edit: February 06, 2014, 11:25:38 pm by misko27 »
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mastahcheese

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Re: Necrothreat - A Zombie Succession Fort - PG2 FOR DETAILS
« Reply #301 on: September 16, 2012, 12:01:47 am »

Toady One's Ghost?

Dang, this just got real, folks.
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The Derail Thread

apiks

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Re: Necrothreat - A Zombie Succession Fort - PG2 FOR DETAILS
« Reply #302 on: September 16, 2012, 04:31:30 am »

Good timing for the migrants. I don't want to to think what would've happened if they didn't come. Toady One has come back to haunt us for my mistake in the aquifer. Looking forward to more!
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highmax28

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Re: Necrothreat - A Zombie Succession Fort - PG2 FOR DETAILS
« Reply #303 on: September 16, 2012, 08:27:02 am »

I'm surprised at the swimming human in the moat :o he should be nicknamed McBadass
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just shot him with a balistic arrow, i think he will get stuned from that >.>

"Guardian" and Sigfriend Of Necrothreat
Jee wilikers, I think Highmax is near invulnerable, must have been dunked in the river styx like achilles was.
Just make sure he wears a boot.

Sprin

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Re: Necrothreat - A Zombie Succession Fort - PG2 FOR DETAILS
« Reply #304 on: September 16, 2012, 08:39:42 am »

Um... I think the skin was reanimated by a threadromancer...
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misko27

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Re: Necrothreat - A Zombie Succession Fort - PG2 FOR DETAILS
« Reply #305 on: September 16, 2012, 02:44:14 pm »

Um... I think the skin was reanimated by a threadromancer...
I know that, I finnd it odd its listed as just "male skin". Think about it.

Toady One's Ghost?

Dang, this just got real, folks.
Same thought. I wil exorcise him at soonest possiblity, but I'm more concerned about getting berzerkers into coffins first, don't want murderous ghosts showing up.

Starting on next update now, will try to get through winter within 3 hours.
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BFEL

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Re: Necrothreat - A Zombie Succession Fort - PG2 FOR DETAILS
« Reply #306 on: September 16, 2012, 06:54:01 pm »

I know that, I finnd it odd its listed as just "male skin". Think about it.
[/quote]

I GET IT!

Toady One's Ghost?

Dang, this just got real, folks.
Same thought. I wil exorcise him at soonest possiblity

NIEN! NO EXORCISING TOADY ONE! HIS GHOST MUST BE THE MASCOT OF NECROTHREAT FOREVER!
Also find some way to weaponize him. Its what he would want.
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misko27

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Re: Necrothreat - A Zombie Succession Fort - PG2 FOR DETAILS
« Reply #307 on: September 16, 2012, 06:58:01 pm »

God, I'm still so sick. Anyway, heres the hectic last of Autumn ( I promise I will get all of winter up today)
28th of Timber: Dodok above, more tantums? Why won't you guys just do your damn work? I swear I get no rest anymore. Anyway, when I was looking over some records, a medical forumite I questioned readily admitted to murder during the riots. So brazen, but I can't imprison him; we need those doctors. Still, we need a justice system, lest more murderers go free. Dungeon time!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
In order to make things make more sense, I've assigned Esther1 to both Moderation and Banning duty. She expresseed displeasure at this, in the form of shouting things along the lines of  "Do I not look busy enough sifting through these corpses?" but she eventually agreed. I've also transferred her to better accommodations, by which I mean accommodations. I hadn't noticed we had those actually. Need to get myself one of those soft beds.

A "better rest" program was instituted to increase morale, rooms have incresed in general furnishment.

The moderation team has been created. It is composed of nobles. They have weapons. (what have I done?)

Hmm, oh yeah! Progress on both the cage traps on the entrance and on more coffins is slow, due to people being injured and such. Hell, I imagine that if this fort wasn't compsosed almost entirely of migrants and the mad, we'd all be dead. As of right now, ther are too few forumites for a proper riot. BTW, the manager is tantrumming. Why can't it be the less useful forumites?

I decided to organize a thrips hunt, to bring levity to our problematic situation. We had an awfully large population o' thrips people near out entrance, and they're scaring the bejezzus out of anyone near by.

The manager was accused of murder by the admin. The manager is a member of the Moderation Team, so the manager decided to undo my order for execution. I send a select order out to loyalists to have him hunted down. The admin of all people follows my order and beats him to death in the dining room. Just another day in Hell I guess. I'm not even fazed.

While nobles fought, the thrips flew over the walls and entered the fort. The military hunted them down though; they are good, strong, inspiring exemplars: proudly exterminating semi-sentients for our protection.

And then, Merchants! We had no depot, so a temporary one was built inside the walls. They have lolcats and courage wolfs, so I hope to have to breed some guards.

With the death of the manager, I realize we have 3 nobles in total. Esther1 is assigned various position, including CMD, and Banhammerer. She is not happy. However, after having fulfilled her new room requrements, she begrudingly accepted. Oh, by the by, did you know she has two daughters? I did (now). Only one is still alive though.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

More ghosts, and the Trade depot is still not finished. On the other hand...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Appearantly a haxxor spawned near the heavily guarded forum caravan. LOLOLOL l33t haxx0r n00b. Troll snatchers appear in less foolish places (though not all of them, one is on the other side of the river; presumably she did not get the memo.) and attempt to take the fort entrance. A Haxxor then shows up beyond the entrance. dafuq. Creating a backup militia, I realize over half the fort has mad-leet Fighting skillz. WHY U NO TELL ME?

The trolls are killed, but the Haxxor disappears from view. I'm completely serious, thats actaully what what they told me :
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Unsure what or how to react, I stationed a squad near the entrance to ward off further attacks. The haxxor reappears slightly deeper into the fort, disappearing soon after. A troll thief is then seen approaching from the north, and a badger attacks our hammerforumite in the field. I don't even know. Tired of this, I order everyone into a single station near the entrance. The troll is taken down, and the hammerforumite bravely strikes down the badger.

The theif is still somewhere...
« Last Edit: February 06, 2014, 11:38:49 pm by misko27 »
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BFEL

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Re: Necrothreat - A Zombie Succession Fort - PG2 FOR DETAILS
« Reply #308 on: September 16, 2012, 07:22:50 pm »

Ah we finally see the dreaded haxxors ;)
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Sprin

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Re: Necrothreat - A Zombie Succession Fort - PG2 FOR DETAILS
« Reply #309 on: September 16, 2012, 07:22:59 pm »

sweet!
Ester1 is probably on the verg of being dead inside...
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misko27

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Re: Necrothreat - A Zombie Succession Fort - PG2 FOR DETAILS
« Reply #310 on: September 16, 2012, 07:41:42 pm »

Ah we finally see the dreaded haxxors ;)
I swear, I don't know what to do with these bastards.
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BFEL

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Re: Necrothreat - A Zombie Succession Fort - PG2 FOR DETAILS
« Reply #311 on: September 16, 2012, 07:42:25 pm »

On the verge? ON THE VERGE? WE MUST PUSH HER OVER THE EDGE! DROP REINDEER 10 LEVELS ONTO HER HEAD. THAT'LL DO IT :P
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BFEL

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Re: Necrothreat - A Zombie Succession Fort - PG2 FOR DETAILS
« Reply #312 on: September 16, 2012, 07:43:08 pm »

Ah we finally see the dreaded haxxors ;)
I swear, I don't know what to do with these bastards.

LOL just be glad my idea to give them teleportation didnt work out ;)
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misko27

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Re: Necrothreat - A Zombie Succession Fort - PG2 FOR DETAILS
« Reply #313 on: September 16, 2012, 08:09:45 pm »

Ah we finally see the dreaded haxxors ;)
I swear, I don't know what to do with these bastards.

LOL just be glad my idea to give them teleportation didnt work out ;)
God I hope so. I dont even know if its still here.

BTW, Keep in mind, the more pictures I have, the longer it takes.
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highmax28

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Re: Necrothreat - A Zombie Succession Fort - PG2 FOR DETAILS
« Reply #314 on: September 16, 2012, 08:34:01 pm »

MORE! MORE! GIVE ME MOAR UPDATES! :D
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just shot him with a balistic arrow, i think he will get stuned from that >.>

"Guardian" and Sigfriend Of Necrothreat
Jee wilikers, I think Highmax is near invulnerable, must have been dunked in the river styx like achilles was.
Just make sure he wears a boot.
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