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[BFEL]

Guys, I just checked the legends screen, and apparently theres SEVERAL lord high threadnecromancers, and the problem: they all died

So impending doom is probably from a normal threadnecromancer... And btw, all of them are considered gods... literally, theyre associated with stuff!

Well shit.......

Oh and they are all gods because they have the POWER tag, which lets them claim to be gods and gain worshippers. They probably all died after taking over cities and stuff and fighting in wars so yeah. Badass.

[misko27]

Okay guys, Since it was MY idea to make them, and since it was the me who encountered our sentient Spambot friend, I've decided to make bith th wild and the Civilized Spambots.

Hey guys, what kind of meat do you get from a spam bot? SPAM.

[BFEL]

Lol you know what?
Even if Talvi manages to kill the entire fort during this turn, this could still end up in the Hall of Legends, because you know what?
SENTIENT....FUCKING....SPAMBOT

I now have a signature

[mastahcheese]

NecroThreat

This is a gold succession game. All Craftforumship is of the highest quality. It is menacing with spikes of grey languar bone and gold. It is encircled with bands of trollolol fur and haxxor bone. On the object is a picture in gold of Toady One the Great and a spam-bot. The artwork relates to the death of the spam-bot by Toady One the Great in the year 2012.

[highmax28]

NecroThreat

This is a gold succession game. All Craftforumship is of the highest quality. It is menacing with spikes of grey languar bone and gold. It is encircled with bands of trollolol fur and haxxor bone. On the object is a picture in gold of Toady One the Great and a spam-bot. The artwork relates to the death of the spam-bot by Toady One the Great in the year 2012.

Well said my friend!

[misko27]

So guys, should the spam bits shoot bile, or hot air? Wait no, I have a BETTER IDEA.

Woo, this is my first work with interactions, messy stuff.

[apiks]

Spam bots should shoot nonsense.


Edit: I just thought I'd put it in there that you can vote for Necrothreat in the Hall of Fame starting November (next month).

[misko27]

Spam bots should shoot nonsense.


Edit: I just thought I'd put it in there that you can vote for Necrothreat in the Hall of Fame starting November (next month).

Yss. Yessssssssssssssss......

They won't just Shoot you with nonsense, That'd be to easy. they'll spam you.

[apiks]

They'll spam me with nonsense? This is getting scarier by the moment.

Edit: Main post (Page 2) has been updated to accomodate a number of new things such as the history of Glidesnarls, Toady One's descent as our savior and acknowledgment of when we will be eligble for voting in The Hall of Fame.

Also don't forget that it would be of great service to me if somebody wrote what great lines have come out of this fort so that I can add it to the main post.

[highmax28]

They'll spam me with nonsense? This is getting scarier by the moment.

Edit: Main post (Page 2) has been updated to accomodate a number of new things such as the history of Glidesnarls, Toady One's descent as our savior and acknowledgment of when we will be eligble for voting in The Hall of Fame.

Also don't forget that it would be of great service to me if somebody wrote what great lines have come out of this fort so that I can add it to the main post.

I'm actually thinking of going to Glidesnarls for my first adventure log (which seems I might need it soon)

[Talvieno]

I'm finally free of stuffs happening in RL, so it's time to get to teh fort!

And while I'm thinking about it...


edit: Mastahcheese made a kickass race for teh Lolmod II, btw. *is impressed*

[Talvieno]

_{[[It's a lot shorter than I'd wanted it to be, but it's an update. ]]}
FROM THE JOURNALLOGTHINGYWHATEVER OF SARGE
2nd Granite, Early Spring 254
WELL, it appears MS FATH (who the freak gave her such a STUPID NAME) is throwing a tantrum.

Hilariously, she's strapped to a traction bench. AND ASLEEP. How the freak she's managing to do it, I don't know. She just lays there, screaming wildly in between snores. Frankly, it's the funniest thing in the world. I tried to sell tickets, but it seems nobody wanted to take a seat next to the corpses in the hospital. Why, I don't know.

Nah, you know what? I'm renaming her. Fath is a stupid name. I'll give her something more feminine-sounding. Something pretty.


...Much improved.

Somebody decided to put all the coffins aboveground. How they expect us to keep them from rising from the coffins, I have no idea, but hey - coffins are heavy, right? What if someone was to say... "drop"... by which I mean "launch"... said coffins at Haxxors? Do you think they'd dodge? ...Do you?


4th Granite, Early Spring 254
OMG...

These people are idiots.

WHO THE FREAK BUILT NINE STILLS?!? WHY on EARTH would we need NINE STILLS?!? WTF COULD WE DO WITH THEM?

"O hai, can I haz beerz?!"
"Yes you can, here's a tsunami of the stuff!"
"OMG NOOOOOOO glub glub glub glub!" *is washed away in a tsunami of the stuff*
"LOLOLOLOLOLOL N00B" *is also washed away*

Hilariously, despite our NINE FREAKING STILLS... We have 36 drink. One drink for each person... and that's it. By the holy power of hell... this isn't going to last long.

Oh, and, uh... GoombaGeek made an artifact toy hammer. Almost forgot. Nice little thing, encircled with gold cabochons. Makes me feel warm inside.


5th Granite, Early Spring 254
Okay, so that warm feeling was a stomach bug. NO HARM DONE! Except to that dude I threw up on. Apiks, or something. Ah well, he didn't need to be clean anyway. And besides, who WOULDN'T like to be vomited on by a GOD? I mean, REALLY! I'd BEG to have a god vomit all over me. I probably healed his wounds or something. But he went to change clothes. ...ingrate. I sent him to the mines.

People keep coming to me for all sorts of weird, useless junk. You know what, Ustuth? Shove it. Keep your horribly boring reports to your ever-loving, happy-go-lucky self.

I really don't think anyone cares. Besides, I'm much, MUCH too busy doing OFFICIAL stuff. I'm the GOD-OVERSEER OF NECROTHREAT! I defend us ALL from teh EVILS of this world, and my job is never done. I shall NEVER REST, not until NECROTHREAT is SAFE, from all who would DARE attack, and they shall fall to their knees before it's MIGHT_{Y TOWER}.


10th Granite, Early Spring 254

I wonder when supper is.

13th Granite, Early Spring 254
"WELL, boozebrains!" I cried, raising my voice across a room of my fidgeting worshipers. They don't worship me in my presence, likely because they fear embarrassing me. Such thoughtful peasants. "WE HAVE BREACHED..."
"The next dimension?" one guessed, beside himself.
"The fourth wall?" another asked, looking at you.
"NO, FOOLS!" I roared. "THE CAVERNS, YOU NINNY-HAMMERED, METAL-PLATED... THINGS! - People, or whatever. WE'VE BREACHED THE CAVERNS, and discovered a magma pool. AND a deep pit. ALL WHO FAIL TO WORSHIP ME SHALL BE THROWN INSIDE!" They stared at me as if I'd said something laughable. And of course I had - after all, why would they not worship me? I continued in a majestic, musical roar befitting a lion on a mighty tower. "Apiks, our miner, tells me that there's an incredible drop in the lower caverns - over 50 z-levels deep!"
Mastahcheese raised his hand.
"MASTAHCHEESE!" I shouted ominously. "HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT -"
"What's a z-level?"
I paused, lost for words. "Oh, well... I guess it's something like ten feet or so? Just a few meters... but, um..."
"So, a drop that's a tenth of a mile?"
"Yes, that's right. THAT'S RIGHT," I roared, recovering my senses. "THAT'S DAMN FREAKING RIGHT! A TENTH OF A MILE. And if ANY of you want to SURVIVE my ULTIMATE WRATH -"
I was interrupted again, this time by the dinner bell. I leapt from the stage, knocking over tables and chairs on my way to the door, shouting, "- YOU'LL EAT LAST! HAHA, N00BS!" And I was gone. Unfortunately, supper was giant hedgehog sweetbread... It could've been better.


25th Granite, Early Spring 254

OHHHHH, and while I'm thinking about it, I'm imposing a ban on exporting flasks. ALL FLASKS SHALL BE MADE IN A LIKENESS OF ME, for I AM SARGE, THE ALMIGHTY GOD OF... stuff.

[misko27]

Yay Updates!

Bacon?

[BFEL]

BACON GREASE!!!!
ALSO COFFIN CANNON
ALSO BOOZENAMI

Oh and our Were transformed.
GO DRINK ITS FRAKKING BLOOD ALREADY DAMN IT!!!!
I WANT MONTHLY REGENS BY THE TIME MY TURN COMES

[highmax28]

_{[[It's a lot shorter than I'd wanted it to be, but it's an update. ]]}
FROM THE JOURNALLOGTHINGYWHATEVER OF SARGE
2nd Granite, Early Spring 254
WELL, it appears MS FATH (who the freak gave her such a STUPID NAME) is throwing a tantrum.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Hilariously, she's strapped to a traction bench. AND ASLEEP. How the freak she's managing to do it, I don't know. She just lays there, screaming wildly in between snores. Frankly, it's the funniest thing in the world. I tried to sell tickets, but it seems nobody wanted to take a seat next to the corpses in the hospital. Why, I don't know.

Nah, you know what? I'm renaming her. Fath is a stupid name. I'll give her something more feminine-sounding. Something pretty.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

...Much improved.

Somebody decided to put all the coffins aboveground. How they expect us to keep them from rising from the coffins, I have no idea, but hey - coffins are heavy, right? What if someone was to say... "drop"... by which I mean "launch"... said coffins at Haxxors? Do you think they'd dodge? ...Do you?


4th Granite, Early Spring 254
OMG...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

These people are idiots.

WHO THE FREAK BUILT NINE STILLS?!? WHY on EARTH would we need NINE STILLS?!? WTF COULD WE DO WITH THEM?

"O hai, can I haz beerz?!"
"Yes you can, here's a tsunami of the stuff!"
"OMG NOOOOOOO glub glub glub glub!" *is washed away in a tsunami of the stuff*
"LOLOLOLOLOLOL N00B" *is also washed away*

Hilariously, despite our NINE FREAKING STILLS... We have 36 drink. One drink for each person... and that's it. By the holy power of hell... this isn't going to last long.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Oh, and, uh... GoombaGeek made an artifact toy hammer. Almost forgot. Nice little thing, encircled with gold cabochons. Makes me feel warm inside.


5th Granite, Early Spring 254
Okay, so that warm feeling was a stomach bug. NO HARM DONE! Except to that dude I threw up on. Apiks, or something. Ah well, he didn't need to be clean anyway. And besides, who WOULDN'T like to be vomited on by a GOD? I mean, REALLY! I'd BEG to have a god vomit all over me. I probably healed his wounds or something. But he went to change clothes. ...ingrate. I sent him to the mines.

People keep coming to me for all sorts of weird, useless junk. You know what, Ustuth? Shove it. Keep your horribly boring reports to your ever-loving, happy-go-lucky self.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I really don't think anyone cares. Besides, I'm much, MUCH too busy doing OFFICIAL stuff. I'm the GOD-OVERSEER OF NECROTHREAT! I defend us ALL from teh EVILS of this world, and my job is never done. I shall NEVER REST, not until NECROTHREAT is SAFE, from all who would DARE attack, and they shall fall to their knees before it's MIGHT_{Y TOWER}.


10th Granite, Early Spring 254

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I wonder when supper is.

13th Granite, Early Spring 254
"WELL, boozebrains!" I cried, raising my voice across a room of my fidgeting worshipers. They don't worship me in my presence, likely because they fear embarrassing me. Such thoughtful peasants. "WE HAVE BREACHED..."
"The next dimension?" one guessed, beside himself.
"The fourth wall?" another asked, looking at you.
"NO, FOOLS!" I roared. "THE CAVERNS, YOU NINNY-HAMMERED, METAL-PLATED... THINGS! - People, or whatever. WE'VE BREACHED THE CAVERNS, and discovered a magma pool. AND a deep pit. ALL WHO FAIL TO WORSHIP ME SHALL BE THROWN INSIDE!" They stared at me as if I'd said something laughable. And of course I had - after all, why would they not worship me? I continued in a majestic, musical roar befitting a lion on a mighty tower. "Apiks, our miner, tells me that there's an incredible drop in the lower caverns - over 50 z-levels deep!"
Mastahcheese raised his hand.
"MASTAHCHEESE!" I shouted ominously. "HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT -"
"What's a z-level?"
I paused, lost for words. "Oh, well... I guess it's something like ten feet or so? Just a few meters... but, um..."
"So, a drop that's a tenth of a mile?"
"Yes, that's right. THAT'S RIGHT," I roared, recovering my senses. "THAT'S DAMN FREAKING RIGHT! A TENTH OF A MILE. And if ANY of you want to SURVIVE my ULTIMATE WRATH -"
I was interrupted again, this time by the dinner bell. I leapt from the stage, knocking over tables and chairs on my way to the door, shouting, "- YOU'LL EAT LAST! HAHA, N00BS!" And I was gone. Unfortunately, supper was giant hedgehog sweetbread... It could've been better.


25th Granite, Early Spring 254

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

OHHHHH, and while I'm thinking about it, I'm imposing a ban on exporting flasks. ALL FLASKS SHALL BE MADE IN A LIKENESS OF ME, for I AM SARGE, THE ALMIGHTY GOD OF... stuff.

Anyone there working in hospital or am I going to die next to that tantruming lady in the bed across from me? And also great update! I'm releived we hit magma, now we can kill that vampire and were capybara!