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[Enemy post]

What kind of pets do we have? Since you breached the caverns, I was hoping the lasersaurs would show up.

[NordicNooob]

Thanks for playing Nord, I greatly enjoyed your turn!

Aww shucks. Frankly, you should be thanking Jasro, not me. 

Wow, someone actually set up magma movers in a succession fort. Thank you! I'll start playing, and hopefully I won't run out of time before the end of my turn.

That was my logic. I figured that if I didn't get around to it, nobody would, and I'd have to watch a fortress stumble around without magma forges. Plus, our wood is rather limited, seeing as the dead trees won't grow back and because our cavern layers aren't particularly open. There's plenty enough for our needs now that we've got the forges, though, so.

What kind of pets do we have? Since you breached the caverns, I was hoping the lasersaurs would show up.

I recall us not having much worthwhile stuff, barring a few robots. I didn't really do anything with them, other than pasture the ones that need to eat up where our old hilariously giant farm plot was.

Tamed:


Captured, currently caged:


Oh, right! That reminds me, I forgot to mention it, but the crusher forumech is our necromancer's, which I thought was quite ironic.

[Enemy post]

I didn't realize our local wildlife included giant dobermans. That'll be fun to deal with.

[TheFlame52]

I am going to have to skip my turn entirely for personal reasons I would rather not go in to

[NAV]

I guess that makes it my turn next 

[Lord_lemonpie]

Hope you're doing okay, Flame.

Good luck with the fortress NAV!

[voliol]

A double-barreled shotgun woman you say? Killing robotic lazorsharks you say?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

For some reason she ended up with very forumite proportions. Fitting perhaps, for a hero to the forumites. I... doubt this is how shotgun people look according to the raws, I think I remember their body definitions describing them as just giant guns. This is easier to draw, and looks rad either way. I also forgot about her armor.

[Enemy post]

I like your interpretation of my gunfolk.

[Lord_lemonpie]

A double-barreled shotgun woman you say? Killing robotic lazorsharks you say?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

For some reason she ended up with very forumite proportions. Fitting perhaps, for a hero to the forumites. I... doubt this is how shotgun people look according to the raws, I think I remember their body definitions describing them as just giant guns. This is easier to draw, and looks rad either way. I also forgot about her armor.

Ooh nice!

[NAV]

So I'm the new overseer. funny how that happens.

First order of business: Messing up Nord's very fine and functional labour system. I'm sure it works great and keeps the fortress working like a well oiled machine. But I can't make heads or tails of it and I am far too set in my ways to learn now. Better to have an okay system that I understand perfectly than a perfect system that I don't. Sorry Nord.

Okay, well it turned out to be more of a small modification than a true overhaul. I do really like the "smith" and "Hand" system. Though I take huge offense that brewing doesn't even register as a "Hand" profession. That has been amended. Unfortunately, under this system I find myself as a mere peasant, destined to do nothing but menial hauling labour for the rest of my life.

Now to finish the minecart magma transporter. That should be simple enough, right? Not like it can flood the fort with magma or anything. Just gotta carve some tracks so we don't have to manually carry  minecarts full of magma up hundreds of flights of stairs.

I assigned a Beasthand, to tame and train our beasts. Train our Forumech, giant doberman, trabant, motorcycle, and our dogs for war. Built a kennel and designated a small training area outside.

The hippies threatened us. Ha!


5th Granite, 5 days into my Overlordship, and we get ambushed by Haxxors! 8 of them. Jasro, save us! No sooner can I get the orders out when a second haxxor ambush shows up. 23 of them total. Our two squads stand ready at the gate, joined by a sharpshot forumech. I hope they're enough.

They're more than enough. They fight beautifully. Lead by Apiks, the squads hack and saw through the haxxors like especially soft butter and don't suffer a single injury. Soon the only Haxxor left is an especially cowardly recruit who was the first one to flee. I send a couple members of the chainsaw squad after her. She is faster and leads them on a wild goose chase, nearly circling the fortress before running away. It's good exercise at least.


Suddenly our friendly fortress necromancer peasant Erush arrives and decides to reanimate all the haxxors. Oh Erush! The haxxor zombies get cleaned up almost as easily except one of the chainsaw forumites gets a badly twisted ankle. Nothing that won't heal. I personally brought him to the hospital when the battle was over.

The sharpshot forumech did not live up to its name, bashing heads with it's laser cannon and never firing a single shot. It got it's upper body plating fractured. Maybe the AI needs some work.


A Hipster caravan arrives. I always get confused between hipsters and hippies. they are both equally insufferable.

(I'll edit in some images and maybe proofreading later. NAV is very busy but here's something at least.)

(NAV is busy because he just got a new job fixing the machines that make Covid test kits.)

[NordicNooob]

First order of business: Messing up Nord's very fine and functional labour system. I'm sure it works great and keeps the fortress working like a well oiled machine. But I can't make heads or tails of it and I am far too set in my ways to learn now. Better to have an okay system that I understand perfectly than a perfect system that I don't. Sorry Nord.

Haha, I totally expected that to happen. I can't say it's an entirely perfect system, though. It's calibrated a bit better for my forts, which tend to be smaller and less heavy on menial labor like say, megaprojects. I did amend the organization of it bit for specifically this fort, making it less boring sounding than my usual Artisan x, Noble y, Peasant z system and also changing my military system from Weapon x'x to Weapon xx. I heard that most players don't like boring, rigid systems that maintain a draconian level of order. Weird. 

They're more than enough. They fight beautifully. Lead by Apiks, the squads hack and saw through the haxxors like especially soft butter and don't suffer a single injury. Soon the only Haxxor left is an especially cowardly recruit who was the first one to flee. I send a couple members of the chainsaw squad after her. She is faster and leads them on a wild goose chase, nearly circling the fortress before running away. It's good exercise at least.

Suddenly our friendly fortress necromancer peasant Erush arrives and decides to reanimate all the haxxors. Oh Erush! The haxxor zombies get cleaned up almost as easily except one of the chainsaw forumites gets a badly twisted ankle. Nothing that won't heal. I personally brought him to the hospital when the battle was over.

Yeah, sorry about indirectly letting that haxxor get away: our soldiers only got their armor a few days before my turn ended, so they're all quite slow. Hopefully it saved a few lives, since our sawmites are almost green enough for me to be uncomfortable sending them into battle.

And blast it! Knew I shoulda locked the Erush up when I had the chance. Nothing but trouble, those necromancers.

Best of luck with your turn, though.

[Lord_lemonpie]

And so the ambushes begin!

If I'm not mistaken, hipster caravans are just the name given to the caravans the hippies send. Not sure if that's a bug or intentional.

[Enemy post]

And so the ambushes begin!

If I'm not mistaken, hipster caravans are just the name given to the caravans the hippies send. Not sure if that's a bug or intentional.

You're right, hipster is the adjective form of hippie, according to the raws.

I'm a bit surprised the sharpshot forumech didn't use its lasers, but I guess it probably didn't regard its opponents as military targets.

[Lord_lemonpie]

Yeah I've seen some odd stuff concerning haxxors, maybe that's the reason why. I think the game counts them as animals, as I remember them being butcherable and their skillsets not showing up in sieges/zombified corpses.

[Enemy post]

I increased the melting and boiling point of Legos to match iron. That should solve the anvil issue in the future.