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Author Topic: A quote is a quote is a quote  (Read 4582 times)

Asheron

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A quote is a quote is a quote
« on: July 11, 2008, 05:59:38 pm »

I have always loved witty quotes for some reason. I tend to pick up a few, but the selection of good ones is very limited.
On the other hand, the most part seem to be quotes just because. On the other hand, there are those who are just brilliant.
I know there are dictionary-thing likes on the internetz, but I would like to have select... selection? of good quotes, just to be witty on the right moment.
Post them all! The person that said the quote ( the quoter? ) doesn't need to be added, but please do if you know him/her/it.
Here's some I think are witty:

The purpose of war is not to die for your country; it's to make the other bastard die for his. - General Patton.

Wars begin when you will, but they do not end when you please. - Niccolò Machiavelli ( I love this guy )

Better to reign in hell than serve in heav'n. - John Milton ( But I love this one more )

Luck is the residue of design. - John Milton ( quoted for truth )

Here I and sorrows sit; Here is my throne, bid kings come bow to it. - William Shakespeare ( not really a good quote, but I like how it rimes )

The souls of emperors and cobblers are cast in the same mould. . . . The same reason that makes us wrangle with a neighbour causes a war betwixt princes. - Michel de Montaigne ( once again, QFT )

No one conquers who doesn't fight. - Gabriel Biel

He who defends everything defends nothing. - Fredrick II, Holy Roman Emperor  ( another QFT )


Also, proverbs. I know some especially funny ones, thanks to Medieval 2: Kingdoms

If you're lucky enough to be Irish, you're lucky enough - Irish proverb

Drink is the curse of the land. It makes you fight with your neighbour. It makes you shoot at your landlord and it makes you miss him. - Irish proverb

Walk lightly in the spring; Mother Earth is pregnant. - Kiowa proverb

Force, no matter how concealed, begets resistance. - Lakota proverb ( QFT )

You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep. - Navajo proverb ( another QFT. )




« Last Edit: July 11, 2008, 06:05:46 pm by Asheron »
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Aqizzar

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Re: A quote is a quote is a quote
« Reply #1 on: July 11, 2008, 06:23:26 pm »

Oh boy, quotes.  Let's start where a discussion of quotes always should.

The most original authors are not so because they advance what is new, but because they put what they have to say as if it had never been said before.
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


Since so many quotes seem to revolve around conflict and strife...

I've got better things to do with my time than to kill someone I don't know over things I don't care about.
-Steven Wright

People who have shit to lose shouldn't hang out with people who don't have shit to lose, 'cause people who don't have shit to lose will lose your shit for you.
-D.L. Hughley

The only difference between depression and disapointment is your level of commitment.
-Marc Maron

Any commander who fails to exceed his authority is not of much use to his subordinates.
-Arleigh Burke

Hope has two beautiful daughters. Their names are anger and courage; anger at the way things are, and courage to see that they do not remain the way they are.
-St. Augustine of Hippo

An authoritarian leader is perched upon a painstakingly constructed authoritarian structure and only because we have an exaggerated sense of personal power in our personality-obsessed culture do we imagine that tyranny resides within the tyrant.
-Tony Karon

Of course, this conjures up Winston Churchill's famous phrase when he said -- don't quote me on this, okay? I don't want to be quoted on this, so don't quote me.  He said, "sometimes the truth is so precious it must be accompanied by a bodyguard of lies."
- Donald Rumsfeld (Not to be political; I just think it's funny.)


And one that should be present in every discussion of important issues-

People seem to think that by posting in threads and agreeing with other people they are changing the world. They are not. They are posting in threads online. The universe will not be altered by forum threads, even those which are very wry. Being outraged online is a form of entertainment, and refreshing a thread to receive a hit of consensus packs the thrill of genuine activism without requiring any sweat.  I'm afraid this test may require more from the community than a sardonic jpeg.
-Jerry Holkins

I've got a freaking 105Kb txt file of these things.
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Asheron

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Re: A quote is a quote is a quote
« Reply #2 on: July 11, 2008, 06:27:40 pm »

105 kb?
Woah. That's like,... 1075 quotes?
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Yes, random is funny, isn't it? Sometimes I set up a random number generator when I need a good laugh.

Aqizzar

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Re: A quote is a quote is a quote
« Reply #3 on: July 11, 2008, 06:46:21 pm »

51061 characters, 8867 words, at six inches wide it's 1386 lines.  No idea what the total number of quotes is.  I've been collecting them for the better part of ten years, accross three computers and multiple reformats, since the first time I played Scorched Earth and started typing down the little war-related quotes it ended with.  Specifically these-

Not with dreams but with blood and iron, shall a nation be molded at last.
-Swinburne

The grim fact is that we prepare for war like precocious giants and for peace like retarded pygmies.
-Lester Pearson

The essence of war is violence. Moderation in war is imbecility.
-Fisher

Providence is always on the side of the big battalions.
-Sevigne

Give me the money that has been spent in war, and ... I will clothe every man, woman and child in attire of which kings and queens would be proud.   
-Henry Richard

War is a matter of vital importance to the State; the province of life or death; the road to survival or ruin. It is mandatory that it be throughly studied.
-Sun Tzu
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Torak

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Re: A quote is a quote is a quote
« Reply #4 on: July 11, 2008, 07:05:57 pm »

"An open mind is like a fortress with it's gates un-barred and it's walls unguarded" - Quote from and OLD, OLD edition of WH40k. No idea who said it.
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Kagus

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Re: A quote is a quote is a quote
« Reply #5 on: July 11, 2008, 07:21:55 pm »

They had that put into the Dawn of War PC game.  It was one of the many inspiring things a Space Commander librarian would say.

Warhammer 40,000...   Just about the only mythos where librarians were badass.

Awayfarer

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Re: A quote is a quote is a quote
« Reply #6 on: July 11, 2008, 10:23:43 pm »

"Always do whatever's next." -George Carlin
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--There: Indicates location or state of being.
"The ale barrel is over there. There is a dwarf in it."
--Their: Indicates possession.
"Their beer has a dwarf in it. It must taste terrible.
--They're: A contraction of the words "they are".
"They're going to pull the dwarf out of the barrel."

PTTG??

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Re: A quote is a quote is a quote
« Reply #7 on: July 11, 2008, 10:26:42 pm »

I have some great ones by Benjamin "It's all about 'em" Franklin:

"Preparation is the burden of fools."

"Save a penny every year and you shall die a millionaire."
(Here he assumes that you will live for 100 million years)

"It is always better to be diligent, for he who toils with honor dies content, while he who is lazy sleeps with the diligent man's wife."

"He who dines on human meat, shall never want for things to eat."

And one of my favorite quotes ever:

"Shrewdness can turn one penny into two, but wisdom can turn a horse into a boy."
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Cthulhu

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Re: A quote is a quote is a quote
« Reply #8 on: July 11, 2008, 10:29:56 pm »

Quote from: Cthulhu
Quote from: Cthulhu
Quote from: Cthulhu
Quote from: Cthulhu
Only idiots quote themselves
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Helmaroc

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Re: A quote is a quote is a quote
« Reply #9 on: July 11, 2008, 10:32:01 pm »

Quote from: Cthulhu
Quote from: Cthulhu
Quote from: Cthulhu
Quote from: Cthulhu
Only idiots quote themselves

On the Cantr forum, they have this weird quoting mechanism that makes this type of 'top down pyramid' of quotes. They continued quoting one by one until the page lagged from the huge 'pyramid' of text.
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Jualin

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Re: A quote is a quote is a quote
« Reply #10 on: July 12, 2008, 02:51:21 am »

My favorite, by Oliver Goldsmith:

"Logicians have but ill defined,
as rational, the human mind.
Logic, they say, belongs to man,
But let them prove it if they can."

And now for a string of quotes that I found were interesting, but will forget shortly:

Spoiler: To keep it short (click to show/hide)
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Zonk

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Re: A quote is a quote is a quote
« Reply #11 on: July 12, 2008, 05:30:34 am »

I love good quotes too...


"I resigned. I will not be pushed, stamped, filed, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered. My life is my own."
-Number Six, The Prisoner.

"Wise men profit more from fools than fools from wise men; for the wise men shun the mistakes of the fools, but the fools do not imitate the successes of the wise."  Marcus Porcius Cato, ca 160 BC

"The earth is degenerating these days. Bribery and corruption abound. Children no longer mind parents. Every man wants to write a book, and it is evident that the end of the world is approaching fast." Assyrian tablet, 2800 BC(not sure if it's really a quote, but I found it...funny and ironic)

"Men willingly believe what they wish." (Julius Caesar)

"Hope is generally a wrong guide, though it is very good company by the way." (Halifax)

"One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and, if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words." Goethe

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man".(George Bernard Shaw)

"Crom, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we fought, and why we died. All that matters is that today, two stood against many. Valor pleases you, so grant me this one request. Grant me revenge!
And if you do not listen, the HELL with you!" (Conan in the "Conan the Barbarian"movie, obviously)

(long one)
"They are irreverent to the gods and disobedient to our edicts, lenient as they are. For we allow none of them to be dragged to the altars unwillingly... It is therefore my pleasure to announce and publish to all the people by this edict, that they must not abet the seditions of the clergy ... They may hold their meetings, if they wish, and offer prayers according to their established use ... and for the future, let all people live in harmony ... Men should be taught and won over by reason, not by blows, insults, and corporal punishments. I therefore most earnestly admonish the adherents of the true religion not to injure or insult the Galilaeans in any way ... Those who are in the wrong in matters of supreme importance are objects of pity rather than" of hate ..." (Julian the Apostate, regarding the Christians of his time)
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Asheron

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Re: A quote is a quote is a quote
« Reply #12 on: July 12, 2008, 07:42:58 am »

"An open mind is like a fortress with it's gates un-barred and it's walls unguarded"
The most epic quote a unit has ever said in a game, ever.
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Did you just post a bunch of vegi-dicks on my board?  I've been trying to combat forum devolution a bit, and that involves fewer vegi-dicks!
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Yes, random is funny, isn't it? Sometimes I set up a random number generator when I need a good laugh.

Aqizzar

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Re: A quote is a quote is a quote
« Reply #13 on: July 12, 2008, 08:43:26 am »

"An open mind is like a fortress with it's gates un-barred and it's walls unguarded"
The most epic quote a unit has ever said in a game, ever.

I don't know, some of the GLA units could pull some hardcore lines.  Sure, a bit of zealotry from a hero unit is great, but it was really inspiring to order around the crappiest unit in the game and hear things like, "No cause is too great!"

And in any game ever?  Please.  Let me go fire up that part in Planescape where you argue a guy out of existance.
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Please amplify your relaxed states.
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The ancients built these quote pyramids to forever store vast quantities of rage.

Jreengus

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Re: A quote is a quote is a quote
« Reply #14 on: July 12, 2008, 09:14:09 am »

"Why are you dodging? They couldn't hit an elephant at this dis-" - Forgotten who said it.

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