Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

Author Topic: Writing Stories v2.0  (Read 3651 times)

Lord Dullard

  • Bay Watcher
  • Indubitably.
    • View Profile
    • Cult: Awakening of the Old Ones
Writing Stories v2.0
« on: August 04, 2008, 01:51:20 am »

Sorry to repeat a topic, but the old thread really got me into a writing kick. I've started back on the book I was working on, and I've found that it's just been flowing out like crazy. For the first time I'm actually enjoying what I'm creating enough to want to keep going, and I have hopes of actually finishing this someday.

I'd really like some opinions. I know a few people who can help me out with grammatical/technical aspects (and I'm sure there are a few) - what I'd really like are just general reactions to the story. What parts of it are good, which parts aren't so good, which parts are interesting, et cetera.

Each chapter is roughly ten pages of single-spaced size 12 text, in .doc format.

Chapter 1 - http://www.mediafire.com/?hmwdqingbfk

Chapter 2 - http://www.mediafire.com/?0vhxlg2ghgo

Any input is very much appreciated.
Logged

Shikogan

  • Bay Watcher
  • Comically insane
    • View Profile
Re: Writing Stories v2.0
« Reply #1 on: August 04, 2008, 06:20:29 am »

Yeah from what i only glanced at the first line it looks pretty interesting ill give it glance over fully tonight and get back to you tomorrow maybe or the next day, always been a big fan of writing stories myself just never really finished one got to 44 pages though lol
Logged
Arguing on the internet is like running in the special Olympics; even if you win you're still retarded.

Shikogan

  • Bay Watcher
  • Comically insane
    • View Profile
Re: Writing Stories v2.0
« Reply #2 on: August 04, 2008, 04:36:10 pm »

Twas a nice story one of the better amateur ones I've read for a while but it needs more of a background into how that mirror did what it did pretty soon in the story and also as soon as i saw faeries i just went "....." just call them the fae and leave that bit out because she didn't know what he was and then suddenly she did but hey if you want to include it in your plot and development fair enough i say. and also you never mention that she's naked again and his uncomfortableness to it so just a few inconsistencies.

Anywho great read for the most part
Logged
Arguing on the internet is like running in the special Olympics; even if you win you're still retarded.

Xotes

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Writing Stories v2.0
« Reply #3 on: August 05, 2008, 09:41:50 pm »

I NEEDETH AN ACTUALLY WORKING LINK! ARGH!

But yeah, ya get an error when someone uses the linkages.
Logged
Quote from: Josephus
"Compatibility mode", dude. If he tries running it under "capatability mode" some terrible thing involving elder gods will probably happen.
Quote from: Aqizzar
You say that like it's not a good time to discuss weird people. It's always a good time to discuss weird people.
Quote from: freeformschooler
I was like, ha, this looks like a pretty dumb and boring game. I was so wrong. Gentlemen, I have discovered true fun.

Little

  • Bay Watcher
  • IN SOVIET RUSSIA, LITTLE IS YOU!
    • View Profile
Re: Writing Stories v2.0
« Reply #4 on: August 05, 2008, 10:09:19 pm »

Mind if I post a link to all my stuff?

It's hosted on DeviantArt

Or I could use spoiler tags, and those wanting to read them could do so without me increasing page size by default.
Logged
Blizzard is managed by dark sorcerers, and probably have enough money to bail-out the federal government.

Lord Dullard

  • Bay Watcher
  • Indubitably.
    • View Profile
    • Cult: Awakening of the Old Ones
Re: Writing Stories v2.0
« Reply #5 on: August 05, 2008, 11:38:50 pm »

Whoops, sorry! Working links:

Chapter 1
Chapter 2

Edit: I certainly don't mind if you post a link to your stuff here, Little.
« Last Edit: August 06, 2008, 12:25:06 am by Lord Dullard »
Logged

Little

  • Bay Watcher
  • IN SOVIET RUSSIA, LITTLE IS YOU!
    • View Profile
Re: Writing Stories v2.0
« Reply #6 on: August 06, 2008, 06:55:51 pm »

Logged
Blizzard is managed by dark sorcerers, and probably have enough money to bail-out the federal government.

Anfold

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Writing Stories v2.0
« Reply #7 on: August 07, 2008, 02:52:47 am »

Chapter 1

Fiction should flow like a river.  Yours has many rocks.  Transitional phrases are your friend.
Logged

Xotes

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Writing Stories v2.0
« Reply #8 on: August 08, 2008, 06:05:14 pm »

Also, if you have someone say something like 'It's the rothash! The enemy!', it's basically saying 'It's the enemy! The enemy!' Redundancy is not your friend when it comes to things like this.
Logged
Quote from: Josephus
"Compatibility mode", dude. If he tries running it under "capatability mode" some terrible thing involving elder gods will probably happen.
Quote from: Aqizzar
You say that like it's not a good time to discuss weird people. It's always a good time to discuss weird people.
Quote from: freeformschooler
I was like, ha, this looks like a pretty dumb and boring game. I was so wrong. Gentlemen, I have discovered true fun.

Squeegy

  • Bay Watcher
  • I don't really have any answers for you.
    • View Profile
Re: Writing Stories v2.0
« Reply #9 on: August 14, 2008, 05:54:30 pm »

You could also say "It's the rothash! The enemy is here!", I suppose.
Logged
I think I'm an alright guy. I just wanna live until I gotta die. I know I'm not perfect, but God knows I try.
Kobold Name Generator
⚔Dueling Blades⚔
Fertile Lands
The Emerald Isles