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Author Topic: You're not as badass as a dwarf  (Read 1958 times)

cibbuano

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You're not as badass as a dwarf
« on: June 10, 2008, 08:54:00 pm »

Did anyone else see this forum thread on Facepunch Studios?

You're not as badass as a dwarf

A little bit of Chuck Norris-style legendry going on... a sample:

quote:
Dwarfs are fucking awesome.
Want some proof?
Go jump off a cliff.
Did you die?
Then you're not as fucking badass as a dwarf.
Go fight a dragon with your bare hands.
Did it's limbs go flying in all directions the moment you fucking touched it?
Then you're not as fucking badass as a dwarf.  

Or


quote:
Go try this you mother fucker.
Go kill a spider the size of a FUCKING car.
Now SKIN its FUCKING corpse.
Now process that FUCKING skin and make leather of it.
Now make yourself some FUCKING BADASS armor.
Now go kill the FUCKING wife and family of that FUCKER of a spider.

Can't do it?
Then you're not as fucking badass as a dwarf.  


Sure, it's a little juvenile. And vulgar. But it'd make a good T-shirt.

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Deon

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Re: You're not as badass as a dwarf
« Reply #1 on: June 10, 2008, 09:04:00 pm »

Too much unneeded word repetition for me.
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Skullivan

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Re: You're not as badass as a dwarf
« Reply #2 on: June 10, 2008, 09:06:00 pm »

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Helmaroc

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Re: You're not as badass as a dwarf
« Reply #3 on: June 10, 2008, 09:07:00 pm »

Yeah. True, but the use of FUCK doesn't make it any more awesome, it just gets annoying.
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Torak

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Re: You're not as badass as a dwarf
« Reply #4 on: June 10, 2008, 09:44:00 pm »

quote:
<STRONG>Dwarfs are fucking awesome.
Want some proof?
Go jump off a cliff.
Did you die?
Then you're not as badass as a dwarf.
Go fight a dragon with your bare hands.
Did it's limbs go flying in all directions the moment you touched it?
Then you're not as badass as a dwarf.
</STRONG>

quote:

<STRONG>Go try this you little girl.
Go kill a spider the size of a fucking CAR.
Now SKIN its corpse.
Now process that skin and make leather of it.
Now make yourself some FUCKING BADASS armor.
Now go kill the wife and family of that FUCKER of a spider.

Can't do it?
Then you're not as badass as a dwarf. </STRONG>


Made it look a bit less like a twelve year old who thinks fuck is an awesome word wrote it.

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Rictus

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Re: You're not as badass as a dwarf
« Reply #5 on: June 11, 2008, 12:00:00 pm »

quote:
Originally posted by cibbuano:
   Dwarfs are awesome.
   Want some proof?
   Go jump off a cliff.
   Did you die?
   Then you're not as badass as a dwarf.
   Go fight a dragon with your bare hands.
   Did it's limbs go flying in all directions the moment you touched it?
   Then you're not as badass as a dwarf.

Or


   Go try this.
   Go kill a spider the size of a car.
   Now SKIN its corpse.
   Now process that skin and make leather of it.
   Now make yourself some BADASS armor.
   Now go kill the wife and family of that spider.

   Can't do it?
   Then you're not as badass as a dwarf.


Good start Torak, but just remove that word altogether (it's unnecessary) and it's already much better.

[ June 11, 2008: Message edited by: Rictus ]

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Akroma

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Re: You're not as badass as a dwarf
« Reply #6 on: June 11, 2008, 12:06:00 pm »

Well, I might not be as badass as a dwarf, but at least I don't commit suicde when my room arrangements are not satisfying.  Also, who is the badass ?
The one who kills the GCS or the one who can doom a fortress simply by telling the dwarves to dig into a wet wall ?
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Bullion

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Re: You're not as badass as a dwarf
« Reply #7 on: June 11, 2008, 12:16:00 pm »

Can you build a door that makes a dwarf forget his family dying and rotting in the dining room? No?

Then you're not as badass as a dwarf.

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Jreengus

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Re: You're not as badass as a dwarf
« Reply #8 on: June 11, 2008, 12:55:00 pm »

Can you survive an arrow in the head?

Then your not as badass as a dwarf.

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Kagus

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Re: You're not as badass as a dwarf
« Reply #9 on: June 11, 2008, 01:20:00 pm »

There was a guy who survived a knife in the head.  Right between the eyes, even.

Cthulhu

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Re: You're not as badass as a dwarf
« Reply #10 on: June 11, 2008, 01:54:00 pm »

Phineas Gage had a tamping rod fired through his head and survived, although it messed up his personality.
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LeoLeonardoIII

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Re: You're not as badass as a dwarf
« Reply #11 on: June 11, 2008, 04:30:00 pm »

Can you live on mushroom wine and roasts made entirely from four bottles of mushroom wine, every day for one thousand and fifty years, underground with no artificial light, and suffer no vitamin deficiency?!

Then you're not as badass as a dwarf!


Can you just walk away when someone steals everything you own, even pulling the clothes off your body even though they are too big for the thieves to wear? Can you stand around and just ignore it when all your friends get dropped 70 feet into a bloodstained pit while thieves rifle through their bones?

Then you're not as pansy-assed as an elf!

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Gorjo MacGrymm

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Re: You're not as badass as a dwarf
« Reply #12 on: June 11, 2008, 07:15:00 pm »

remove the word "Fuck?"  obviously not Dennis Leary fans.......
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Re: You're not as badass as a dwarf
« Reply #13 on: June 11, 2008, 09:48:00 pm »

Too bad we eventually won't be able to blow up enemies by throwing sand...

Bloat162, POWDER THROWS, (Future): Throwing powdery object should make short-lived cloud flows (like dust from cave-ins but slower).

(Will still be cool though)

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Helmaroc

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Re: You're not as badass as a dwarf
« Reply #14 on: June 11, 2008, 09:48:00 pm »

Can you fight a giant hydra whilst naked with your bare hands? Oh, and win? Without a scratch?

Then you're not as badass a a dwarf.

[ June 12, 2008: Message edited by: Helmaroc ]

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