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Author Topic: A story of impulsive elven violence  (Read 1204 times)

Creamcorn

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A story of impulsive elven violence
« on: August 19, 2008, 04:35:16 pm »

(Note I take pictures after the events have occured)
The recalling of these events take place in between 1500, and 1700 hours, during Malachite of spring. The events told in this story are completly true.

 Thefin Womandessert(my current adventurer) hung her head low, as she sat upon a hill trying to wonder, and at the same time forget if what she had seen was true or were it false. "Mam" an elven guard said, "Me and my friend are here to ask you a couple of questions. "Go ahead" Thefin said tilting her head up to look at the two elfs.




"Do you remember what happened at... aproximatly 3:00PM this afternoon?" the elf guard to the right of Thefin asked. "Yeah... HOW THE HELL COULD I NOT! MY MUM ALWAYS TOLD ME YOU ELFS WERE PEACE LOVING! I- I mea..." Thefin stoped her rantings, and took a deep breath, than exhaled it out to regain her composure. "Miss I can say without a doubt what you had seen this afternoon was terrible, simply terrible for you, and for us, but there is no need to go, and make a bigger fuss of it. Now please, tell us what you had seen." The guard to the left politly asked.

Feeling a bit more comftorable Thefin  calmed down, and started to remember what had happened, while slowly feeling her stomach acting up again. "Well it's hard to remember... but I can recall asking your druid if I could have a quest from him, he told me no, so I asked him a couple of more things. Than I saw the bowyer walking up to our meeting, I decided to wait untill he came over, and ask him if he had anything I could help him with, bu, but than I saw the wooden spear in his hands, and than for no reason from what I could tell, he just started stabbing the druid, a well placed strike hit him in the head, and his eyes, ears, went flying off, an- and THEY HIT ME! THEY, HIT ME! ALL OF THE PIECES HIT ME! I can't wash the blood off! I have to stare at it where ever I go, IT WON'T COME OFF OF ME!" Noticing her self becoming distraught again, Thefin began strumming her fingers over her axes handle for comfort.





"Than I saw him." Thefin paused for a moment. "The guards, a farmer, and a peasent they were chasing the bowyer" Thefin paused, and looked around for invisible enemies. "The rest is just a blur, so much blood, the forest will never be green again..." Thefin said stopping for a moment to reflect her grim words.








"Than for no reason they all ran, and they all bled to death, together" Thefin stoped strumming her axe, and tilted her head down, this time to vomit at what she had burned into her mind forever.





(Needless to say I got allot of free equipment from these events, from what I could tell it may have been that the other elvs were "defending each other", now I don't even know what that means. The body count is twenty one, dead. Can someone explain what happened? ARE ELFS REALLY THIS BARBARIC!!?)
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Glacies

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Re: A story of impulsive elven violence
« Reply #1 on: August 20, 2008, 01:54:35 am »

They're gonna eat each other when you're not watching, too. Elves are fucking hardcore mass-murdering cannibalistic sunzabitchez.

Yanlin

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Re: A story of impulsive elven violence
« Reply #2 on: August 20, 2008, 08:21:31 am »

Dwarf 1: ZOMG FREE LOPPED OFF LIM-- HEAD!
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Creamcorn

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Re: A story of impulsive elven violence
« Reply #3 on: August 20, 2008, 10:15:03 am »

Dwarf 2: YAY! Rope reed sock! Oh! Another one! And another, an-... BY ARMOK! AHHHHHHHHH! They're eatting the dead!!!
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"OH NO! That carp is gulping at me menacingly, even though it cannot really threaten me from here on land!  I KNOW! I'll dodge into the water, where I'll be safe!"

Yanlin

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Re: A story of impulsive elven violence
« Reply #4 on: August 20, 2008, 11:05:16 am »

Dwarf 2: YAY! Rope reed sock! Oh! Another one! And another, an-... BY ARMOK! AHHHHHHHHH! They're eatting the dead!!!

No no no. That's Dwarf 3's behavior. Dwarf 2 is the wiseguy.
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DuncanFrost

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Re: A story of impulsive elven violence
« Reply #5 on: August 20, 2008, 02:44:15 pm »

Dwarf 2: YAY! Rope reed sock! Oh! Another one! And another, an-... BY ARMOK! AHHHHHHHHH! They're eatting the dead!!!

No no no. That's Dwarf 3's behavior. Dwarf 2 is the wiseguy.

Is there some weird thread were this joke originated?
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Yanlin

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Re: A story of impulsive elven violence
« Reply #6 on: August 20, 2008, 03:13:45 pm »

Dwarf 2: YAY! Rope reed sock! Oh! Another one! And another, an-... BY ARMOK! AHHHHHHHHH! They're eatting the dead!!!

No no no. That's Dwarf 3's behavior. Dwarf 2 is the wiseguy.

Is there some weird thread were this joke originated?

Not really. I just had Dwarf 1 in it.

Dwarf 1,2 and 3 are my creations.

Dwarf 1 just gets over excited about anything that he can grab in the middle of the most intense combat scene he can find. Dwarf 2 is a wiseguy and Dwarf 3 likes to collect stuff. He hates Dwarf 1.
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