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Author Topic: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress  (Read 160260 times)

krumlink

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Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« on: August 30, 2008, 06:20:07 pm »

Right now, the funny/disturbing moment about to happen is a lone kitten fell down into the soon to be flooded magma tunnels for the forges. What are some sad but funny or disturbing moments in your Dwarf Fortress?
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Axe27

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #1 on: August 30, 2008, 06:35:02 pm »

My champion wrestler annihilating a golbin mace lord in about five seconds. Her bedroom is now up to par with the Mayor, because I don't want her to EVER,EVER tantrum.
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And thus did the dream of dwarven antigravity fade away, not with a massive explosion or a flood of magma, but with a whimper.

I'm going to be depressed all day now.

kurisukun

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #2 on: August 30, 2008, 06:41:08 pm »

I had a thriving Vermin pet buisness going on on one map, due to the fire snakes and other valuble pets.  What's more, some of my dwarves actually LIKED the vermin I had laying around, so keeping them happy would have been a since.

Then an engraver with a cat showed up.  I was irked to no end.  But I needed an engraver to carve fortifications in my magma tunnel.  But I couldn't get rid of the cat.  This was a real cunundrum.

The engraver goes down there, chips away the holes that let the magma in, and is halfway back when his cute little cat comes trotting down the hallway torwards him.  And then passes him.  Straight into the firey magmay doom.


I nearabout died laughing.   Why I was laughing... I can't exactly say.


I'm so going to hell.

krumlink

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #3 on: August 30, 2008, 07:13:25 pm »

My cat still has some space before it dies, so it can enjoy some happy moments :)
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Lord Dullard

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #4 on: August 30, 2008, 07:14:28 pm »

I had a thriving Vermin pet buisness going on on one map, due to the fire snakes and other valuble pets.  What's more, some of my dwarves actually LIKED the vermin I had laying around, so keeping them happy would have been a since.

Then an engraver with a cat showed up.  I was irked to no end.  But I needed an engraver to carve fortifications in my magma tunnel.  But I couldn't get rid of the cat.  This was a real cunundrum.

The engraver goes down there, chips away the holes that let the magma in, and is halfway back when his cute little cat comes trotting down the hallway torwards him.  And then passes him.  Straight into the firey magmay doom.


I nearabout died laughing.   Why I was laughing... I can't exactly say.


I'm so going to hell.

Just put the vermin pets in cages in their respective owners' rooms.
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i2amroy

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #5 on: August 30, 2008, 07:51:33 pm »

Pet killing method.

side view
Code: [Select]
XXXXXXXXXXX
X/SDSDSDSDS
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X=wall
/=lever connected to the spikes
D=pet-locked door, but still dwarf passable
S=retractable spikes

Station the dwarf with the pet inside of the room and the pet will probably be caught in front of at least one of the doors. Then set the dwarf to be the only one who can use the lever and set him to pull on repeat. Tadah, you now have one less pet. ;D
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Reasonableman

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #6 on: August 30, 2008, 07:55:42 pm »

These stories about gruesomely slaughtered cats make me sad. I mean, I can't even bear to slaughter my overpopulated kitten-fort, despite the fact that they're just lower-case 'c's. I have no problem with squeezing forty of them into a single tile, but murdering is a whole 'nother thing altogether.
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Axe27

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #7 on: August 30, 2008, 07:58:38 pm »

I just let my cats multiply to the point where they become a viable food source.
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And thus did the dream of dwarven antigravity fade away, not with a massive explosion or a flood of magma, but with a whimper.

I'm going to be depressed all day now.

krumlink

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #8 on: August 30, 2008, 08:41:27 pm »

My fortress where the cat was about to meet its doom had a seige. I was totally unprepared. I was unable to close the gates before they got in. Slaughtered every dwarf and cat. Tragic. Oh well new fortress :)
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Keolah

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #9 on: August 31, 2008, 12:42:40 am »

This one time I was moving around some water and a poor kitten was caught in it and got hurt, broke its legs. It was such a sad thing to see this cat pathetically crawling around my fort for a year afterward without healing until I finally decided to put it out of its misery already. Poor thing.
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tigrex

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #10 on: August 31, 2008, 01:30:34 am »

Yesterday I was experimenting with filling my cistern with brook water.  I had 2 access points to the cistern system - one next to my well, and one next to the brook. 

So I pull the lever, the floodgate opens, and water starts flooding in.  As if on cue, two dwarves with woodcutting labor on decide that it would be faster to take a shortcut through my cistern via the access points. 

I watch as they try to reach their destination, only to be washed back again and again by the water flow.  I pull the lever again, but it takes an insane amount of time before the floodgate responds.  After the two dunderheads leave the cistern to chop wood, I have both points hatched and locked to prevent further accidents.

It was just so funny.  But I thought I'd lose the dwarves for sure.  By the same logic, when at the zoo I should take a shortcut through the lion enclosure to get to the vending machine. 
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Unreal_One

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #11 on: August 31, 2008, 02:49:06 am »

Definitely the most disturbing thing I've seen so far was a child in my meeting hall. He was standing between two clothing shops, but he was completely naked. However, he had two pages of blood coverings. I immediately retitled him blood child and prepared to make him the leader of my military once he was of age.
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Yanlin

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #12 on: August 31, 2008, 07:02:51 am »

I drowned carps.

Poor things.
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John Johnston

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #13 on: August 31, 2008, 07:11:43 am »

I'd run into some warm stone, so I sent my miners up to the top level and dug down until they reached the top of the magma pipe.  This left a small room directly above the magma and because of the way I'd been digging it had some down stairs in it.  No problem at all, except it looked a bit untidy.  The stairs were in a diamond pattern on the floor.

Some time later, I thought "best tidy that up" and told the miners to dig out the down stairs.  Except of course I didn't realise that the tiles in the centre wouldn't be supported 'cause they were now only held by corner-to-corner connections with the tiles on the outside.

Boomf!  A beautiful diamond shaped section of floor plunged straight down into the magma, taking two of my original dwarves, the best miners in the fortress (and more importantly, one was the brewer as well!), into firey oblivion.  Ooops.  It was like something out of a cartoon, where a sawblade comes up from underneath and circles around someone in a neat circle...   ;D  Only they were doing it themselves...
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ACE91

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #14 on: August 31, 2008, 07:33:15 am »

In one of my forts, I never had to kill my cat overpopulation--the local magma creatures did it for me. There was a magma pipe in the lower-left corner of the map, and a particularly vicious Fire Man guarding it. For some reason, the area around the magma pipe would draw cats like a magnet. I would be going about my business running the fort, and I would get constant messages of "(so-and-so), Kitten has burned to death." I looked over and found the entire area around the magma pipe covered in ashes, and a whole bunch of dead cats. And they would still keep coming--I guess curiosity really did kill the cat. :P
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