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Author Topic: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress  (Read 160176 times)

Shurikane

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #165 on: October 02, 2008, 10:15:52 pm »

The village liaison has arrived.
An ambush!  Curse them!

The merchants have arrived.
An ambush!  Curse them!

Some migrants have arrived.
An ambush!  Curse them!


Three different gobbo squads at three different places on the map, striking near-simultaneously.

My death count went up by 30 in less than a day.
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Borgin

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #166 on: October 02, 2008, 11:23:37 pm »

Urist McCheesemaker: "Hmm, whats this? A dragon? Move over boys..."

For some unknown reason, the cheesemaker wanders into the pile and starts wrestling the dragon too. While my 'military' are passing out around him, he proceeds to strangle the dragon to death.

Urist McCheesemaker: *dusts off hands* "Right, back to those cheeses..."
I love creating dialogue based on what's happening in my fortresses, but this is cooler than anything I could ever imagine.

From now on, I'm keeping Cheesemakers. Turns out, they can kill dragons! :)
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Batta

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #167 on: October 02, 2008, 11:36:42 pm »

In my first real fortress, one of my babies had their mother die, and at the time I didn't know babies would try to commit suicide when it happens.

So I'm watching my indoor fisherdwarf work, and I realize that there's a baby walking up to him. I hold off on locking the fisherdwarf into the room, 'cause I really didn't know what the kid would do.

Then the kid threw himself into the pool and began drowning. Nobody helped him. And he stayed in there for a very long time. When that baby finally died?

He died from dehydration.
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Deadmeat1471

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #168 on: October 03, 2008, 04:13:46 am »

'He died from dehydration. '

omg rofl!
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Yami

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #169 on: October 03, 2008, 05:40:25 am »

So, I managed to find a nice chasm to start next to, started excavating my fortress, making crafts, good times.  Finally fall comes and with it my traders.  And guess where they spawn?  Right next to the ratmen by the chasm.  no problem?  Nope, loose a wagon.

Ah well, free loot.  So I start canceling jobs to grab the loot like any right minded dwarf.  And thats when the first message pops up.  Kobolds.  And it stole the god stuff too.  First a steel +Helm+ then the greaves...  So I draft up my woodcutter/axedwarf and tell him to get geared up off of the loot.  And before he gets there I loose the platemail.  Now I'm a bit miffed, so I draft up my hunter/marksdwarf and send him over.

Finally we spot the bloody thief and give chase. And that's when we meet the GCS.  Well, I write up my military as lost and start forbidding the wagon gear, mining out burial grounds, you know... the works.  I go back to check out the carnage, see if the thing is hurt enough to take out or if I should just start a wall of safety, and guess what?  Two dead dwarves, one dead GCS, and the kobold no where in sight.

Not only did the little creep steal my good plate, but he also had the audacity to down a GCS in my fortress!  I later checked the legends and it seems that particular kobold had a history...  I cannot find the words to express how much this kobolds antics sadden me.
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John Johnston

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #170 on: October 03, 2008, 06:18:23 am »

After reading post and post about everyday-things that occurs in any fortress, this redeemed the thread. One of the funniest things I've read. What actually happened, did they form a new civ that was enemies of the old dwarven civ?
There's nothing about "unique super-special once-in-a-lifetime events only" in the OP, y'know.   Although Randy's recent experience does sound like great fun!
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Oh
God it's been a lovely day
Everything's been going my way
I had so much fun today
And I'm on fire

Pilsu

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #171 on: October 03, 2008, 07:07:22 am »

I guess this isn't so much a sad or disturbing story, other than its kinda depressing to have a cheesemaker with a kill list far more impressive than all the rest of my military forces. Clearly I now have to build him some kind of epic dragon slayers room or something.

Or recruit him and arrange it so that the other dwarves accidentally lop off his head in a sparring accident

CJ1145

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #172 on: October 03, 2008, 09:23:10 am »

My worst moment was when I decided to take a Goblin Tower by force. I loaded up my dwarves with the best weapons and skills, gave each an entourage of War dogs, and prepared to go to town. When I got there, I found myself face to face with several dozen guards, a Pikemaster, the High Priest, and a demon named Snub.

*gulp*
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Randy Gnoman

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #173 on: October 04, 2008, 08:31:30 am »

Mine's the result of a bug, but it's still incredibly entertaining.  For some reason, a bunch of my dwarves suddenly stopped recognizing a bunch of others as friends, and there was a massive riot.  Around 160 dwarves were eventually counted in the total causalities, including all children- that was fairly unfortunate.  Now, my dwarves treat immigrants like goblins.  But it's not just immigrants- it's all new dwarves.

So, when my newly elected Mayor gave birth to her new baby- she immediately began running in fear, as though it were an invading goblin.  Here's the kicker:  she was holding the baby.  After a long time of fleeing unsuccessfully, she did what any cornered dwarf would do:  she sucker punched her own baby and then kept running.

So there she was, running terrified of her own baby, which she was holding, through the crypts and tunnels beneath my city, pausing every now and then to smack it around a little, and spattering the floors and walls with blood here and there.  For the latter part of the struggle, the baby was unconscious.  Eventually, she must have ripped its throat out or something, because it bled out rather dramatically, and then the Mayor got an unhappy thought at having "lost a child to tragedy."
After reading post and post about everyday-things that occurs in any fortress, this redeemed the thread. One of the funniest things I've read. What actually happened, did they form a new civ that was enemies of the old dwarven civ?

The Fortress died a few years after the bug emerged- though it lasted longer than I expected.  Every time new dwarves showed up, they were slaughtered- although traders were treated as politely as ever.  Goblins still sieged, and since after the final death toll of the Great Insurrection of Dwellrim (which had a pop of ~180) I only had 11 dwarves left, I was pretty much resigned to the fact that they'd be easily slaughtered during the next siege.

This wasn't the case, however.  After this tiny band of dwarves successfully drove of two sieges and four ambush parties with two casualties (not combat casualties, exactly, but death from thirst after minor injuries- it was a desert fortress- and they were the farmers who were presumably spared during the insurrection because of their dabbling wrestling skills developed fending off goblin thieves, not my soldiers), I un-drafted my marksdwarves (who were already off duty when the sieges came, but still managed to chase away the invaders), and so had no military dwarves, and no traps besides the cages in the caverns beneath my fortress which I'd used to capture giant bats/batmen/a pair of giant cave spiders (which I was very disappointed to learn I couldn't breed).  Two more ambush parties, one more siege, and zero casualties later, I decided that my army of wandering giant bats and war dogs was just too formidable- if the dwarves stayed inside, they'd never even make contact with the gobbos before the siege was driven off by my pets.

So I did what any rational person looking for a dramatic end to a dramatic fortress might do:  I collapsed the central tower (which contained most of my artifacts, including a wicked obsidian bed) on top of the bulk of the survivors.  Still, I had a couple left- so I sent them straight for the next ambush party.  One survived, but had a minor arm injury, so it went to bed (can't remember whether it was a he or a she) in its fine green glass apartment, and quietly starved to death while my pets chased away a final ambush.

EDIT:  Oh, as to what happened with the bug- I think that they just started seeing immigrants as invaders, and also the bulk of my other dwarves.  It seems that any dwarf without military skills was identified as an invader, although some dogs were also killed, and a number of my military dwarves did die- but I think that that happened mostly as a result of minor injuries sustained in scuffles with their victims sending them to die of thirst in their beds, plus the depression factor, which claimed the lives of ~15 dwarves after the main riot.
« Last Edit: October 04, 2008, 08:35:32 am by Randy Gnoman »
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Vaftrudner

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #174 on: October 04, 2008, 08:57:26 am »

The only thing that could have made that a better ending would be fire.

Randy Gnoman

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #175 on: October 04, 2008, 09:12:14 am »

The only thing that could have made that a better ending would be fire.

Well, there was fire in the middle!  Three dragons visited dwellrim in its long life.  The first one was slaughtered rather unceremoniously, the second one killed a couple of farmers, and the third one lit my trade depot on fire.  The trade depot burned for a long time, and several caravans walked in and unceremoniously incinerated themselves.  I had no idea that metallic items could melt, but I ended with with a trade depot filled with "Iron [25], Iron [25], Bismuth Bronze" etc.- none of which were in bar form.  I was able to melt them into bars, though, once the fire stopped.  That dragon also set somebody on fire on one of my green glass roads, and managed to melt the blocks that made up that road.  Those I couldn't recover in any way, but it was sure nifty!
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Vaftrudner

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #176 on: October 04, 2008, 09:32:23 am »

Oh wait a minute it melted iron? That trade depot burned hotter than magma, now that's hardcore!

Maggarg - Eater of chicke

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #177 on: October 04, 2008, 10:32:37 am »

is there a map of Dwellrim?
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Randy Gnoman

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #178 on: October 04, 2008, 10:57:12 am »

I never exported a map, but there's a bugged save here, and I've got backups going back for years if you'd like something pre-bug (although with this you may be able to see a reenactment of the baby terror).  It's not much to look at, to be honest- the central tower was never finished, and I let my glassdwarves crank out way too much furniture so the grounds are littered with cabinets, armor stands, and weapon racks (I wasn't even loading the apartments with weapon racks and armor stands- wth was I thinking when I made those?).  Basically, it's a mid-sized glass fortress on top of a cave in a desert so hot that imported booze boils off before I can purchase it, with a horde of giant bats flying around it.  Oh, and the bedrock is pure obsidian- which is great, until you realize that there are no gems in obsidian, and the majority of your strange moods fail as a result of no "rough... color..." (and that you can't possibly train swordsdwarves, because the total lack of water makes the slightest injury deadly).

Still, I kept most everything above ground, and had plans to eventually move everything up as my fortress took shape (not my food storage, though- I was afraid that my booze would boil away if I took it out of the cave).

EDIT:  oh, and... I didn't mention this before, but without any fire at all, my trade depot already gets hot enough that if I don't haul in the leather real quick, this happens:



That's right- the regular, natural weather in Dwellrim is hot enough to melt leather if you leave it outside.  I don't know if that contributes to the intensity of fires, but yeah:  the heat's pretty hardcore before the dragons ever show up.
« Last Edit: October 04, 2008, 11:12:58 am by Randy Gnoman »
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Maggarg - Eater of chicke

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #179 on: October 04, 2008, 11:38:41 am »

I once had a scorching glacier.
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