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Author Topic: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress  (Read 162874 times)

Kagus

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #180 on: October 04, 2008, 11:51:22 am »

It's quite possible to make utterly uninhabitable worlds using the new worldgen parameters.  I once had a world so cold that everyone froze to death instantly.  Then came a world so hot that I boiled to death shortly after starting an adventurer.

But a desert that is dreadfully hot, while still allowing for dwarven colonization?  That is absolute gold.

Axe27

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #181 on: October 04, 2008, 05:15:48 pm »

I once had a scorching glacier.

Hm. How that come about?
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I'm going to be depressed all day now.

Time Kitten

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #182 on: October 04, 2008, 06:25:14 pm »

Immediately spawning atop a lake, falling 2 levels to the bottom to be stunned, wagon scuttled instantly, just waiting for the water to rush off the map?
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LegacyCWAL

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #183 on: October 04, 2008, 06:58:21 pm »

Just had another one last night.

I'm building a new living area 1 z-level above the ground, supported by the walls defending the access stairs.  Obviously, it extends horizontally far beyond said walls.

Well, I made some minor mistakes constructing a couple areas, and marked the first batch for deconstruction.  The slave labor hard-working children did their jobs well, causing the blocks making up the mistakes to fall to the ground below.  When I went down a z-level to forbid them (it's a ridiculously long walk from one side of the support-wall to the other thanks to a limited-access roadway), I saw a stunned dog right on the tile where a block had fallen.  The poor thing had had a big ol' chunk of rock dropped on his head.  Luckily, it was only one item and 1 z-level, so he had a few minor nicks and a couple brown injuries.

After setting up the replacement construction in the first area, I went to the next batch, which was about a screen and a half to the east.  As before, the workers did their jobs, blocks were dropping out of the way...and I get a message that "Stray Dog (tame) has been killed by a collision with an object".  I went and looked under the work site and it was the same dog.

The poor thing, easily a thousand-tile walk from my front gates, had not just had a giant rock dropped on him, but then, when he tried to go back home, he had had ANOTHER dropped on him.
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HIDE THE WOMEN AND DROWN THE CHILDREN, THE BARON HAS ARRIVED.

Angellus

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #184 on: October 04, 2008, 07:30:50 pm »

These stories about gruesomely slaughtered cats make me sad. I mean, I can't even bear to slaughter my overpopulated kitten-fort, despite the fact that they're just lower-case 'c's. I have no problem with squeezing forty of them into a single tile, but murdering is a whole 'nother thing altogether.
I have a death-tower especially for my cats, I've modded them to give adamantium on death, so I cant have enough of them ^^
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Tack

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #185 on: October 10, 2008, 01:43:22 am »

ever had a champion swordsdwarf throw a tantrum and get sentenced to a hammering, and then throwing another tantrum during the hammering and impale the hammerer?
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Refar

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #186 on: October 10, 2008, 04:21:17 am »

I wonder why not everyon try this... Sounds like a smart thing to do (or at least try)...
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sneakey pete

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #187 on: October 10, 2008, 04:25:10 am »

I once had a legendary hammerdwarf with an artifact iron hammer get a beating from a peasant turned captain of the guard. Didn't fight back at all, luckily for the captain.
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Vaftrudner

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #188 on: October 10, 2008, 05:05:36 am »

I once had a legendary hammerdwarf with an artifact iron hammer get a beating from a peasant turned captain of the guard. Didn't fight back at all, luckily for the captain.
I can totally picture it, the new Captain of the Guard desperately hitting the hammerdwarf with all his strength, while the latter just sits there, sighing, shaking his head.

Thuellai

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #189 on: October 10, 2008, 06:21:38 pm »

So the king shows up, I presume for the adamantine, as a peasant...  And something glitched.  He stayed as a Friendly unit and never made it all the way to my fortress, getting sidetracked in the woods.

Turns out he's a legendary Wrestler.  So the king now lurks in my woods, slaughtering invaders with his bare hands if they dare trespass in my forests.  Also, bears.  Can you picture the bedtime stories?
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Skid

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #190 on: October 10, 2008, 06:34:22 pm »

Sounds like Nebuchadnezzar or something.

Did you get any good engravings about him?
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juanoleso

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #191 on: October 10, 2008, 06:39:43 pm »

Can you picture the bedtime stories?

I think that is pretty funny.

A quick one, I started a fort and wasn't paying attention and killed two of my starting dwarves with a cave-in.  The third miner throws a tantrum and goes down to where the other four dwarves are standing around the wagon.  He slaps a horse, kicks over the wagon, and then proceeds to pick up a barrel of beer and chuck it twenty tiles.  He calmed down after that...
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LegacyCWAL

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #192 on: October 10, 2008, 10:16:10 pm »

So the king shows up, I presume for the adamantine, as a peasant...  And something glitched.  He stayed as a Friendly unit and never made it all the way to my fortress, getting sidetracked in the woods.

Turns out he's a legendary Wrestler.  So the king now lurks in my woods, slaughtering invaders with his bare hands if they dare trespass in my forests.  Also, bears.  Can you picture the bedtime stories?
"So kids, what story do you want me to read to you tonight?"
"Oooh!  Oooh!  Goldibeard and the The Rotting Corpses!"
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HIDE THE WOMEN AND DROWN THE CHILDREN, THE BARON HAS ARRIVED.

Thuellai

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #193 on: October 11, 2008, 04:25:02 am »

So the king shows up, I presume for the adamantine, as a peasant...  And something glitched.  He stayed as a Friendly unit and never made it all the way to my fortress, getting sidetracked in the woods.

Turns out he's a legendary Wrestler.  So the king now lurks in my woods, slaughtering invaders with his bare hands if they dare trespass in my forests.  Also, bears.  Can you picture the bedtime stories?
"So kids, what story do you want me to read to you tonight?"
"Oooh!  Oooh!  Goldibeard and the The Rotting Corpses!"

Sigged.  Sigged SO HARD.  I almost died, you know.
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When you're following an angel, does it mean you have to throw your body off a building?

"So kids, what story do you want me to read to you tonight?"
"Oooh!  Oooh!  Goldibeard and the The Rotting Corpses!"
~LegacyCWAL

Jetman123

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #194 on: October 11, 2008, 04:47:43 am »


I think that is pretty funny.

A quick one, I started a fort and wasn't paying attention and killed two of my starting dwarves with a cave-in.  The third miner throws a tantrum and goes down to where the other four dwarves are standing around the wagon.  He slaps a horse, kicks over the wagon, and then proceeds to pick up a barrel of beer and chuck it twenty tiles.  He calmed down after that...

You KNOW things are screwed up when dwarves start THROWING THE BEER AWAY.
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When dwarves want to commit suicide, then by Armok, they _will_ commit suicide, even if they have to spend the rest of their lives working at it!
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