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Author Topic: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress  (Read 204430 times)

krumlink

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #90 on: September 06, 2008, 04:07:20 pm »

I regularly enjoy setting meeting zones over the obsidian retracting bridge hanging over the magma. No further explanation required.

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Neoskel

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #91 on: September 06, 2008, 05:25:05 pm »

A moment of mine in DF that was both funny and disturbing was when my cat adopted my butcher :-\. (Chinese food anyone?)  The butcher then proceeded to kill all of his pet's offspring.

Ah, job security.
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tigrex

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #92 on: September 07, 2008, 08:20:17 am »

A dwarven child of mine was harvesting when the pond under him thawed out and he paid the fish a visit.  A genuine tragedy!  But so much fun.
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hotcakes

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #93 on: September 07, 2008, 09:12:24 am »

My current fortress only has 1 cat but it has 11 cougars who like to hang out outside my fortress when a goblin siege came they dispatched a dozen or so goblins with help from my marksdwarves. and only lost 3 cougars. sad thing is all the males died! so no more cougarsplosion for me. maybe the elves will bring another male
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MC Dirty

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #94 on: September 07, 2008, 11:06:26 am »

A blacksmith of mine "withdrawed from society", claimed a metalsmith's forge and sketched a picture of (amongst others) stacked cloth. I had tons of rope reed and pig tail cloth, so obviously, he wanted silk cloth which I didn't have.
I walled him in as a precaution, if he was going to go berserk. He did. Unfortunately (fortunately?) there were a bull and a cow in there, too. He was dead within 3 seconds.
It's a shame that you're not able to train war cows. :D
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LegacyCWAL

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #95 on: September 07, 2008, 12:51:15 pm »

Heh, that reminds me of another one that happened to me.

I had built tunnel to carry magma from the local magma pipe to my magma forges, and said forges were juuuuust about to have enough magma under them to work.  A dwarf went moody and claimed one of forges.  Just three or four steps later, tops, the magma underneath went from 4/7 to 3/7.  He instantly went berserk.

To add insult to injury (or rather, injury to insult), one of my Marksdwarves was nearby picking up some practice ammo.  He picked up the bolts, the moody dwarf went berserk, and the marksdwarf cut him down.  I went from a moody smith to a corpse in about the same amount of time it takes a dwarf to walk a tile and a half.
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numerobis

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #96 on: September 08, 2008, 12:53:16 am »

Goblin ambushers are stuck outside my gate, by which I have a pair of dog cages.  My dwarves dutifully pull the levers.  Perhaps I should mention that by "dog cage" I mean a dozen war and hunting dogs each.

Funny: it's pretty amazing how many chunks can be torn off a single goblin getting dogpiled.

Sad: perhaps I should have waited before putting the drawbridge back down.
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Pilsu

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #97 on: September 08, 2008, 04:26:05 am »

The human trade prince died of old age at my site. Fairly mundane in itself, he was hauled to the graveyard/refuse pile to rot

I was less than pleased when next year's caravan rolled in and I found a human skull totem in the item list. Yeah, real tasteful guys
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Drunken

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #98 on: September 12, 2008, 04:27:10 pm »

My mechanic spent his life dutifully building traps to defend my fort against invaders. He did a good job and soon I stopped having to worry about ambushes.

Till one fateful day...
He was reloading a cage trap when an ambush sprung right on top of him. A goblin hit him and he fell backwards, into one of his lovingly crafted stone fall traps.

He made very effective stone fall traps, poor fellow.
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i2amroy

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #99 on: September 12, 2008, 11:03:17 pm »

On one of my latest forts I was trying to go for the whole, "collapsing the world thing," so I started with seven miners. Now as I was going along on my map, my miners kept being interrupted by creatures, so I temporarily would turn them into military to take down the beasts. Now one time one of my dwarves was busy dispensing with a group of turkey vultures and had killed quite a few when one got a lucky shot, pierced his heart and he died instantly. Later on the same fort I had another dwarf that was chasing beavers. Now, beavers can swim, but the dwarf could not, causing him to drown when he chased the beaver into the river. Because of these two deaths, one of my other dwarves became quite melancholy, and then went insane, running around and tearing his clothes off. Shortly after this dwarf goes insane, my expedition leader throws a tantrum and kills the insane dwarf in a fist fight. Then, Another of my dwarves went berserk, killing another dwarf and then chasing my horse around the map. There was a period of time then until the horse ran back into my encampment and then hit the berserk dwarf in the head, knocking him unconscious. I then commanded my leader to go and quickly finish him off. My leader then walked up and hit him over the head killing him. My leader at that point had killed more of my dwarves than she had killed natural creatures. Shortly after killing the berserk dwarf, the guilt drives my leader insane, who then starts running around babbling. This then meant that I had only one dwarf left, so I continued on my goal to collapse the world. About one year later, the last dwarf channeled out the very ground beneath her feet, causing a deathly fall of about 7 stories.

So all in all, of my seven dwarves I had one die fighting turkey vultures, one drown chasing a beaver, one go insane and then be killed in a fist fight, one go berserk, killing another as he escaped, another go insane from the guilt of killing the berserk dwarf, and then my last one suffering from a deathly fall caused by her own stupidity. Ahhh.. Good times. ;D
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Alabaster

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #100 on: September 13, 2008, 02:23:34 am »

This was the last scene in my fort before checking the forums.  I have an above ground castle surrounding a trade depot, with marksdwarves on the walls.  Elven caravan just spawned so the bridge is down.  I found out earlier that puppies in cages dont grow into dogs so I jad just finished chaining 5 of them up in the yard.  Goblin ambush springs on my drawbridge, and immediately 4 wrestler goblins and 5 mace goblins start butchering my puppies.  The marksdwarves slaughtered the goblins in the courtyard. Only 1 goblin escaped but all the puppies were killed.

The butcher and tanner were busy that night.
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Untelligent

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #101 on: September 13, 2008, 11:51:01 am »

I found out earlier that puppies in cages dont grow into dogs

Whoever told you that is wrong. The only way to stop a puppy from turning into a dog is to kill it. Being in a cage will, however, stop dogs from getting pregnant (although caged pregnant dogs can still give birth).
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Alabaster

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #102 on: September 13, 2008, 11:56:13 am »

/slaps forehead

back in the kennel with ye pups.

at least it served to distract the gobbos while the marksdwarves reigned death.  I think the puppies put up a good fight to boot.

thanks
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numerobis

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #103 on: September 13, 2008, 11:39:01 pm »

The butcher and tanner were busy that night.

Really?  I can never convince my butchers to butcher stray tame animals that died.
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LegacyCWAL

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #104 on: September 13, 2008, 11:51:04 pm »

I think they'll only butcher already-dead animals if the corpse is close enough to the butcher's workshop.  Try putting a corpse stockpile right next to it, run some kittens through an anti-pet spike trap hall, and see what happens.
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