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Author Topic: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress  (Read 203578 times)

o0NoobHunter0o

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #540 on: July 29, 2014, 07:17:30 pm »

There i was, playing my first fortress, watching some tutorials and stuff... i got to create my first magma forge. I ordered my engraver to carve a fortification to let the magma through, all went fine, he survived and went to his life. He got to the outside to the forests, when suddenly "Engraver has spontaneously combusted". He started a wildfire and burnt LITERALLY the whole map (which was a forest). Just before that, i was checking his inventory to see what he was hauling and i noticed that he had lava, ON HIS SOCKS... LAVA ON HIS SOCKS... And thus i watched my first wildfire burn the whole map... I couldn't stop laughing :>
« Last Edit: July 30, 2014, 09:56:49 am by o0NoobHunter0o »
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dwarf_reform

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #541 on: July 30, 2014, 12:26:27 am »

Mine is pretty pathetic, but it'd have to be a baby chicken (chick) ... (tame)... :> a chick got its legs devastated by some other DF-Danger (wild animals, maybe the war dogs aggroed on him, gobs, a raging dwarf).. Got one leg severed and one got the bone smashed through the skin. Lil Chicken got out of combat range and painted some hallways red and lived to become the star of the fort.. After I got over laughing every time I saw him dragging himself into or out of a room, I'd still get that warm, fuzzy feeling and smile even after that :) I gave him some hilarious custom name (Nuggets, MacCrower, Lil Chick That Could, something..) and thought I was doing everything I could to make his life as comfortable as possible..

I think he uneventfully died of starvation (probably due to his 100pt land-speed rating and constant wandering :> I gave him a special little tomb with a yellow coffin.. I.. I MISS HIM EVERY DAY. Why did he have to leave me this way?! .. ... Not that drastic :> But maybe I should try to engineer some chicken leg-breaking activities and create a new fort mascot :>
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Buel

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #542 on: August 18, 2014, 09:25:52 am »

Dunno if this is a bug or just dwarven insanity. But the newest version of DF, I was embarked on a volcano for not even two minutes in real time, and my expedition leader well.She claimed herself as QUEEN! It's kind of funny.
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damnit,urist,youhadonejob

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #543 on: August 18, 2014, 10:07:23 am »

i am the only none golblin civ left standing, there is no freaking iron on my map, in fact i only have gems, copper, and zink on my map. i am so sad, backed up my save, going to try and recreate my civ, going to go find iron right now, hopefully away from anything nasty
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Dzedajus

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #544 on: August 18, 2014, 01:19:53 pm »

Let me translate what you wrote for everyone else.
I hate challenges and fun.
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damnit,urist,youhadonejob

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #545 on: August 20, 2014, 12:18:49 am »

Let me translate what you wrote for everyone else.
I hate challenges and fun.
you ever try and bring your civ back from extinction? it is not easy and is a lot of fun!!!!!. i just really wanted iron and am going to create another fortress away from anything nasty so my civ doesn't die out all the way.
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Kraegan

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #546 on: December 05, 2014, 07:11:26 pm »

Dunno if this is a bug or just dwarven insanity. But the newest version of DF, I was embarked on a volcano for not even two minutes in real time, and my expedition leader well.She claimed herself as QUEEN! It's kind of funny.

Nah I got that last night.  I got a message when I chose my biome that my civilization was dead or dying and that my dwarves may take high positions, or something like that.  First year in my Farmer becomes Queen.  Two years in and I found out the last dwarven civ was wiped out by goblins and that my fort was the last surviving site for dwarves, at least I think it is.  Strange though as I still get migrants and dwarven traders.  Where do they haul their goods too?  lol...
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TankKit

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #547 on: October 31, 2016, 11:19:50 am »

I had a fortress of around 200-250 dwarves, with a well trained military. One day, a forgotten beast decided it didn't like my fortress. The place where this all took place was my stairwell entrance, which had a small pool of magma in the middle of it, for dumping items. This was a while ago, so I don't remember everything that happened exactly. What I do remember, was that I sent 2 full squads of ten at it, and ripped them to pieces. I was just watching in awe at my military getting absoloutly demolished, when a cat came in and gave birth. The monster attacked them, getting one square away from the magma pool as well. One of the kittens swung it's paw at it, and the forgotten beast that had destroyed MY ENTIRE MILITARY, jumped into the magma pool. I was laughing so hard I litteraly couldn't breathe.
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azrael4h

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #548 on: October 31, 2016, 02:44:58 pm »

I had a fortress of around 200-250 dwarves, with a well trained military. One day, a forgotten beast decided it didn't like my fortress. The place where this all took place was my stairwell entrance, which had a small pool of magma in the middle of it, for dumping items. This was a while ago, so I don't remember everything that happened exactly. What I do remember, was that I sent 2 full squads of ten at it, and ripped them to pieces. I was just watching in awe at my military getting absoloutly demolished, when a cat came in and gave birth. The monster attacked them, getting one square away from the magma pool as well. One of the kittens swung it's paw at it, and the forgotten beast that had destroyed MY ENTIRE MILITARY, jumped into the magma pool. I was laughing so hard I litteraly couldn't breathe.

You must memorialize that kitten and make shrines to it.
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Dunamisdeos

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #549 on: October 31, 2016, 04:01:21 pm »

I had a fortress of around 200-250 dwarves, with a well trained military. One day, a forgotten beast decided it didn't like my fortress. The place where this all took place was my stairwell entrance, which had a small pool of magma in the middle of it, for dumping items. This was a while ago, so I don't remember everything that happened exactly. What I do remember, was that I sent 2 full squads of ten at it, and ripped them to pieces. I was just watching in awe at my military getting absoloutly demolished, when a cat came in and gave birth. The monster attacked them, getting one square away from the magma pool as well. One of the kittens swung it's paw at it, and the forgotten beast that had destroyed MY ENTIRE MILITARY, jumped into the magma pool. I was laughing so hard I litteraly couldn't breathe.

You must memorialize that kitten and make shrines to it.

Every year make a new statue. In theory they can only make statues of a being as it appears now and in the past. Therefore you will have an age progression of statues in its temple.

I assume a temple is in order.
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Melting Sky

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #550 on: November 01, 2016, 04:55:39 am »

Once upon a time I captured a dragon. I tamed said dragon and placed it in it's own little pill box bunker guarding the rear entrance to the fort using magma safe draw bridges as blast shutters. I thought myself very clever. Anyway, I accidentally cut off access to the pill box so the trainer couldn't reach the dragon and it went feral in there. I figure, to hell with it, the design should still work, just keep the dwarves away when the blast shutters are lowered. So during an absolutely massive goblin siege I decide to let the dozen or so trolls in the back door since they don't carry anything of value and it's easier to just burn it all. That's when I learned that magma proof is not the same as dragon proof. In mere moments the scene descended into a fiery maelstrom of angry burning trolls and melted draw bridges that had once allowed me to seal off my fortress and to shutter the dragon.

Meanwhile as the burning trolls are starting to rampage through my fort my entire military is engaged at the front entrance gutting countless goblins.Things got so desperate that I had to let loose the imprisoned vampire hammer lord and ex-commander of my military who was housed near the rear entrance as a last resort. The hammer lord danced between blasts of dragon fire caving in troll skulls with her masterwork hammer.

In the end the dwarves fought off the siege successfully. That vampire hammer lord laid waste to each and every last troll that survived the gauntlet of flame while herself dodging the fiery doom. She single handedly saved the fortress and didn't even try to feed afterwards. She just wandered off to the hospital for her broken finger to be treated and went to sleep for the first time in centuries. We never were able to reclaim the back entrance. It was basically air locked with a couple of new draw bridges that were never to be opened again since the dragon would cook friend and foe alike and there was no easy way to recapture it. All that work and planning basically turned the elaborate back entrance to my fort into a no man's land that no one but the berserk dragon ever stepped foot in again. It was truly hilarious, pathetic and epic at all the same time.


 
« Last Edit: November 01, 2016, 07:34:01 am by Melting Sky »
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The Big D

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #551 on: November 01, 2016, 06:32:07 am »

Just lost my whole fort of 82 dwarves to a webbing FB thanks to a lack of armour and oversight. Turns out that for whatever reason my caged GCS decided not to shoot webs on my cage traps, and he waltzed straight in, caged my crossbow squad and slaughtered everyone else. Note to self: Use some of that steel for armour next time so that he doesnt just bite off your webbed axedwarves heads.
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I just have this terrible mental picture of this beet-looking thing bursting out of someone's stomach and being like "Neeeeed phosphaaaaates"
If it's magma resistant, mod it so it's not!

Fleeting Frames

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #552 on: November 01, 2016, 11:39:32 am »

I think it could have punched their heads to paste even through helmets when they're webbed. Can't block webs, I think.

@Melting Sky: You could block dragon's view by carefully obsidianizing in front of it from above, then install a slade bridge (only material that doesn't melt, boil or ignite), link it up and finally channel away the obsidian from above or carve it into fortifications from below.
« Last Edit: November 01, 2016, 11:41:23 am by Fleeting Frames »
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Immortal-D

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #553 on: November 01, 2016, 07:01:55 pm »

How am I just now finding this thread?  Good stuff :)

Dunamisdeos

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #554 on: November 01, 2016, 07:49:38 pm »

Did I post about my ice elf? I don't remember.

I captured a lone elf that came with a goblin raid. I chained him naked in a cell whilst I decided what to do with him, then forgot about him for like half a decade. He never went mad but did slowly freeze to death. Turns out part of his cell was made of ice.

It's funny because elves aren't people.

........I had to let loose the imprisoned vampire hammer lord and ex-commander........
..........She just wandered off to the hospital for her broken finger to be treated and went to sleep for the first time in centuries.

Hang on. Went to sleep? Don't vampires never, ever sleep? Are you sure you don't have a perfectly normal hammerlord locked up in a box?
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FACT I: Post note art is best art.
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FACT III: "All life begins with Post-it notes and ends with Post-it notes. This is the truth! This is my belief!...At least for now."
FACT IV: SPEECHO THE TRUSTWORM IS YOUR FRIEND or BEHOLD: THE FRUIT ENGINE 3.0
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