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[Rat Of Wisdom]

At the time, I was still trying to live with nobles.

In fact, I've only ever executed two nobles (a hammerer who killed several of my legendary dwarves and a countess who kept forbidding the export of barrels).

Oh aye, I enjoy the challenge of keeping the pretentious bastards satisfied.

However what wasn't cool was when an uppity count and his prissy little consort arrived just as I had designated basically two entire levels of my fortress to be mined out and dumped. (Quantum stockpiles for the win.) So the construction of their chambers (which I ordered the instant they set foot on my map) accumulated some delay.

Leaving them plenty of time to become "utterly traumatized by a lesser's pretentious burial arrangements". (The Dungeon Master, whom I saw fit to outfit with awesome holdings.)

The consort went berserk (and was wasted, before I could even look to see if there were any strong dwarves in the area, by the Hammerer she had brought along) and the count continually oscillated between meetings and tantrums. I was going to let him be, and hope that he recovered when his chambers were finished, but he laid four of my best dwarves up in bed with broken bones. I finally managed to lock the bastard in a cupboard with a spike and a lever.

[uttaku]

I operate a 3 strike rule if nobles, it takes three incidents before they die, be it mandates, bans or hammerings.

[LegoLord]

I'll only kill a noble once they make an impossible demand.

Elves are always bad, as opposed to nobles who can at least be neutral.  Nobles can only be good in the case of the Dungeon Master.

[Rat Of Wisdom]

Oh yeah, I'm not a fan of wanton bloodshed (...don't ask me who I think I'm kidding. This! Is! DWARF FORTREEEEEEEEEEEESS) but punching out my best jeweler, a very good carpenter, and two other useful dwarves clearly falls under the 3-strike rule. (Well, no, in all honesty, considering they get replaced if and when they die, it's more of a one-strike rule.)

The jeweler was taken by a mood while bedridden too. Imagine the suspense, watching him crawl around the fortress gathering shit, blinking his little red and yellow +, just waiting for him to go insane because it's been several months and he hasn't started his work yet. Bastard count.

[AtomicPaperclip]

Hey, the elves have to enforce their monopoly somehow.  It's not like wood just grows on trees, you know.

LMFAO

[CobaltKobold]

Elves are always bad

Why?  Aren't yours bringing grizzly bears and giant cats?

(The Dungeon Master, whom I saw fit to outfit with awesome holdings.)

Don't we all like the DM? I mean, just takes a single skill bump on all the forges' profiles to keep him from doing ill.

[LegoLord]

Nope.  They rarely bring me goods.  When they do, I simply sieze the cages and then dump magma on the twerps once the animals are safe.

[CobaltKobold]

Buy them. Seriously, the caravan brought no cloth last time. Also, often cages have tamed vermin in 'em, unnoted.

[Dragooble]

i'd lake to see what would happen if elves encountered the australian stinging tree.

[Akhier the Dragon hearted]

Quite simple really. trees are actually the first stage in an elf's life cycle. once the young elf inside the tree gets old enough if there are enough elves around it will hatch leaving behind perfectly serviceable logs to use. so remember when you chop down a tree you kill an elf to! happy deforestation day

[Grendus]

Quite simple really. trees are actually the first stage in an elf's life cycle. once the young elf inside the tree gets old enough if there are enough elves around it will hatch leaving behind perfectly serviceable logs to use. so remember when you chop down a tree you kill an elf to! happy deforestation day

And thus the dwarves discovered that their forges were indeed elf powered. And there was much rejoicing.

[Darktongue Breakbone]

Quite simple really. trees are actually the first stage in an elf's life cycle. once the young elf inside the tree gets old enough if there are enough elves around it will hatch leaving behind perfectly serviceable logs to use. so remember when you chop down a tree you kill an elf to! happy deforestation day

That quote reminds me of Speaker for the Dead by Orson Scott Card.

I like to think the elves don't actually respect nature at all but are just trying to corner the market on wood and don't like it when someone tries to muscle in on their turf.

As for stuff made of bones, well that's just creepy.

[DeathOfRats]

Quite simple really. trees are actually the first stage in an elf's life cycle. once the young elf inside the tree gets old enough if there are enough elves around it will hatch leaving behind perfectly serviceable logs to use. so remember when you chop down a tree you kill an elf to! happy deforestation day

That quote reminds me of Speaker for the Dead by Orson Scott Card.

You're not the only one who's reminded of that.

[Rakonas]

Quite simple really. trees are actually the first stage in an elf's life cycle. once the young elf inside the tree gets old enough if there are enough elves around it will hatch leaving behind perfectly serviceable logs to use. so remember when you chop down a tree you kill an elf to! happy deforestation day

Hmm, this makes a surprising amount of sense. A while back I recall a 10 year old elf that told me both of its parents died about 14 years prior to our meeting. I'll be sure to destroy every tree I can find from this point on.

[smjjames]

I'll only kill a noble once they make an impossible demand.

Elves are always bad, as opposed to nobles who can at least be neutral.  Nobles can only be good in the case of the Dungeon Master.

You're forgetting the philosopher. Although with Dwarf Manager, it's easy to give nobles a labor.