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Author Topic: Your most anticlimatic moment?  (Read 3750 times)

Neoskel

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Re: Your most anticlimatic moment?
« Reply #15 on: September 16, 2008, 03:22:50 pm »

Playing as a bronze colossus in a 'smaller' world with a bronze *2-handsword* i had made a human fortress to forge special (at a chasm too so he'd have plenty to fight at first too, was pretty fun being mobbed by dozens of troglodytes when you don't get tired). I went on a rampage to kill all sapient creatures and got to an elf retreat. It had a meadhall left over from human occupation, so it was easy to find them. Then i go out and fight a child and dodge into a pool. No prob, i don't breathe i'll just climb out.

Well bronze colossi can't swim.

So i 'slept' to try and attract elves next to the pool and hack them up from there. I wake up to find that an elf child has broken off my arm at the shoulder by wrestling it. No prob, i behead him and go back to 'sleep'. Next thing you know another child has broken off my left leg at the hip.

I eventually had to 'starve' to death.
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arghy

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Re: Your most anticlimatic moment?
« Reply #16 on: September 18, 2008, 05:53:58 am »

My first gobbo siege, SCRAMBLE THE ENTIRE ARMY! EVERYONE GRAB YOUR WEAPONS TO THE GATES! TODAY WE DIE!..... where the hell are the gobbos? WHY ARE YOU LEAVEING?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR HUNGRY?! so the epic 'siege' was 13 gobbos loitering around outside while my dwarves kinda putted around inside with not a single dwarf at the gatehouse only later did i realize i had them all under one leader who was sleeping.

The first time you get a megabeast and find out how cage traps work can get kinda anti climatic to haha though the golden colossus gave me an epic fight so overall it wasent anti climatic(i even accidently let him out of his cage to reap even more carnage).
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Wiles

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Re: Your most anticlimatic moment?
« Reply #17 on: September 18, 2008, 07:08:19 am »

I would have to echo the cage trap sentiment. I was vastly disappointed when my first megabeast was trapped in one. Thankfully an angry dwarf let him out later, so I did get to enjoy some mayhem after all.
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Worldwaker

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Re: Your most anticlimatic moment?
« Reply #18 on: September 18, 2008, 11:22:10 pm »

A dragon that was six steps into the map, dodged into my lava moat. I had that happen Twice in the same fort.
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Guy Montag

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Re: Your most anticlimatic moment?
« Reply #19 on: September 18, 2008, 11:34:42 pm »

Megabeasts and their ilk. I once leveled a highly skilled murder-machine of an adventurer for the sole purpose of killing the Goblin civ leader Demon.

I recruited every single armed man I could. I massed up a party of 12 people, and I went into this dark fortress to confront the enemy. My band of warriors was fairly useles... they seemed to be OK with the Goblin civ, and never attacked, but one did become the target of a Elite Goblin bow...goblin, and asorbed enough fire for me to run up and smash him with my maul.

Anyways, I found the demon, he counted off all the adventurers of mine he slaughtered and made some insulting remarks about them. I was ready this time, and I threw a -Iron Bolt- at him, and to my suprise, he has mutliple organs pierced, fell a z-level, smashed into the ground, I mopped him up with more thrown bolts and my own fine Iron Maul.

my band of 12... 11 dudes did almost nothing to help in my entire quest. Not nearly as epic of a battle as I thought it would be.
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Qmarx

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Re: Your most anticlimatic moment?
« Reply #20 on: September 18, 2008, 11:47:22 pm »


I recruited every single armed man I could.
They might have been more effective with two hands.
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Guy Montag

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Re: Your most anticlimatic moment?
« Reply #21 on: September 19, 2008, 12:01:06 am »

Also, my first and only megabeast encounter in Dorfmode.

My early fort was in a tundra, and I had multiple squads of marksdwarves to my military when a Dragon stopped my game, and announced its name.

I shut my drawbridge, ordered all dwarves inside, and was fully prepared to have every last civilian drafted and given a surplus crossbow to defend my beloved tundra fortress. I unpaused, and had all my Marksdwarf squads  deployed to the intricate systems of my forward "bunkers" accessable from the underground and surrounded by a 2-wide ditch.

I noticed the dragon was having some problems already. He was missing an eye and kept passing out on his way down to my massive inter-locking fortifications, bunkers, and determined military I had prepared for exactly this sort of horror. I was also kinda sad the dragon took up a single tile...

After passing out, walking, and passing out, he passed out right next to one of my bunkers, where a single Marksdwarf that was closest to the wall of a forward bunker shot the comatose dragon with many, many bone bolts untill the thing died.

Dragon never spit a single fireball, or even harmed a single dwaf, or cause any property damage.

I was dissapointed to say the least. I like to think the gimpy dragon limped itself all the way to my murderous bunker lines and entenched soldiers to die in glory.

My mediocre marksdwarf got a nice thought for taking "joy in slaughter" but didn't get a fancy title or anything. The dragon was processed like everything else through my bone-bolt industry and kitchen, and I guess the ledgendary, feared dragon ultimately ended up in some random dorf's stew.
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sonerohi

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Re: Your most anticlimatic moment?
« Reply #22 on: September 20, 2008, 11:26:34 pm »

I made my dwarves into immortals, needing nothing to be sustained, but capable of dying from wounds, just for the purpose of an epic rp of a settlement of the last 7 gods of the pantheon carving out a fortress from which to crush the killers of their followers. I set up siege engines, bunkers, funnels, fortifications, walls, the works (no traps except for 3 cage ones, it's never fun unless you get to throw a goblin off a tower). I realized no siegies for me until I have 80 people, so at 795 thousand wealth, I put popcap at 80. First wave comes, up to 40 some dwarves. I set stone detailing, get my wealth up to 1 million 200 thousand or so. I get the rest of my dwarves, and all but the seven are stationed in a single tile and en-channeled there. Fearing any sort of interaction, I make the channeled area a rather large 13x13, with it bordering the edge of the map. Well, the siege spawns right inside that channel, and they kill about 12 of the dwarves and wound 17 more before being completely decimated. I just had to face + palm.
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tigrex

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Re: Your most anticlimatic moment?
« Reply #23 on: September 21, 2008, 12:21:16 am »

I just finished my first moat - an impressive looking edifice intended to keep me safe from threats.

Except that my legendary miner who built it routinely takes shortcuts through it.  Despite submerging himself voluntarily about seven times now he has yet to get injured or learn his lesson from the experience.  Apart from smelling like seaweed, he's just as ruddy and cheerful as ever.

I've no idea why he does it, but he's insulting my moat before I've even drowned a goblin in it!
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Qmarx

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Re: Your most anticlimatic moment?
« Reply #24 on: September 21, 2008, 12:49:05 am »

I just finished my first moat - an impressive looking edifice intended to keep me safe from threats.

Except that my legendary miner who built it routinely takes shortcuts through it.  Despite submerging himself voluntarily about seven times now he has yet to get injured or learn his lesson from the experience.  Apart from smelling like seaweed, he's just as ruddy and cheerful as ever.

I've no idea why he does it, but he's insulting my moat before I've even drowned a goblin in it!
Build a couple of forbidden hatch covers onto it.
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Draco18s

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Re: Your most anticlimatic moment?
« Reply #25 on: September 21, 2008, 03:12:58 am »

Reaching the center of the galaxy in Spore.
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i2amroy

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Re: Your most anticlimatic moment?
« Reply #26 on: September 21, 2008, 04:24:14 am »

I was working on a rather large project on a well-established military-heavy fort when a beaver started interrupting my dwarves. So I set most of my military to go chase the beaver. The beaver immediately ducked into a nearby stream and the entire military group of 30 dwarves followed them into the river, leaving me to watch in horror as every single one of the drowned. This then caused my 25 marksdwarves to go nuts, and they started shooting everything in view, completely decimating the rest of my fortress. An entire fortress of about 150 dwarves, all completely destroyed by a single beaver who could swim.
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TheDeadlyShoe

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Re: Your most anticlimatic moment?
« Reply #27 on: September 21, 2008, 05:22:43 am »

Probably the time I spent a year+ building a vast wind-power-distribution system throughout my port only to discover I had zero wind when I finally put the windmills up. 
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King Doom

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Re: Your most anticlimatic moment?
« Reply #28 on: September 22, 2008, 08:43:18 pm »

New fort. Mountains. Sasquatches. Goblin ambush appears in the first year, I have a lone recruit with a spear. Goblin leader is leading the ambush, he appears right next to my lone dwarf along with about a dozen assorted goblins. The legendary goblin is a bowgoblin. He is stabbed once by the recruit. In  the heart. The other goblins flee, I spend the next year picking up six pages of slugman leather crafts.
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Novocain

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Re: Your most anticlimatic moment?
« Reply #29 on: September 27, 2008, 11:20:32 am »

Three anticlimactic sieges in a row. I have ten squares of stone traps, one random cage trap that I intended to catch wild animals in, and a ten-dwarf-strong military, so I come into this with a rush of adrenaline and cheering for my champions.

Siege number one: Thirty goblins show up. I hurriedly gather everyone up into a peasant squad and lock them into my farming complex. The goblins hit my traps, with the elven squad leader in front. He sprains his arm and right toe, and flees. The next squad flees after the loss of a single goblin and similar injuries to a handful of others.

Siege number two: Fifty goblins show up, complete with an elven complement for most squads. The elven squad leader of the crossbow goblins comes in without a leg, promptly passing out and retreating once he wakes up. Several squads of lashers and swordsmen remain, and bumrush my gate. See siege number one. Five goblin deaths, and I got a free wooden shoe.

Siege number three: Several pages of goblins show up. Seconds later, a Titan shows up. Several pages of goblins disappear. He then wanders into my single cage trap. The remaining squad runs away after the squad leader breaks an arm in my stone traps.

The total kills for my military out of these sieges: 1 mercy kill on a crippled elf. :(
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