
As the President of the Arab League, I hereby call this emergency meeting of the Arab League to order.

As much as I appluad your attempt at asserting leadership in this crisis, Lebanon...I do not think that it will...work. The Arab League needs someone more skilled in diplomacy, and, you, Lebanon, are not up to the challenge.

Shut up. The Egyptian ambassador has requested that he would like to speak first. Egypt, if you mind...

Thank you, Lebanon. You seen the war between Egypt and Israel recently. This was a inevtible war. Israel has arrested a popular hotel mogul, blamed Egypt for killing their Prime Minister, and bombing innocent civilians along the Egyptian border.


But I would also like to draw attention to the plight of the Palestinan people. The people of Palestine has been oppressed and they have been trying to protest against the unjust rule. In Janurary 1997, Israeli troops moved into Palestine.


And after some minor incidents in Feburary 1997, where the Palestianan people staged small-scale demonstrations protesting the the war against Egypt, the Israeli military was ordered to use 'hard tactics'. The Israeli military has beaten people, even killed them. Just for disagreeing with the government. Tell me, is that really a hallmark of a 'liberal democracy', as Israeli defenders say it is?

Israe l has been pushing us around for a long time. And why is that? Once, we posed a united front against Israeli aggression. Now many people here have sold out to Israel, in the vain hope that diplomacy will tame the Israeli beast. Indeed, it has not. Indeed, Israel has overreached. If it destroys Egypt, the right-wing nationalistic parties will only call for the destruction of other nations. I urge a different course of action, I urge unity.

I introduce a resolution to the Arab League, condemning the Israeli invasion, condemning the Israeli suppression of anti-war protests, and siding with Egypt in this war. We need unity in this crisis.

Are you done?

...Ye s.

Good.


Becau se I would like to draw attention to a dead Egyptian singer named Abdul Haleem Hafez. Now, why would I like to draw your attention to this dead singer? Well, because since Februrary 1997, we've been dealing with a 'Hafezist' terrorist organization that calls for the destruction of the Syrian regime. You want to know why they call themselves Hafezists? Because they take inspiration from an old song that glorifies the Egyptian regime and calls for 'Arab Unity'. They accuse my leader of disrupting that unity.

...Yo u ever thought to blame yourself for the protests? You have been talking to Israel for the past several years, but there has still been no justice for Palestine or for Arabs. I wouldn't be surprised if your own population sees you as a 'sell-out'.

Let me be more blatant. You are sponsoring this insurgency so you can create a pro-Egyptian regime. You want to annex Syria, just like you did during the United Arab Republic era.

Your country is led by nothing more than a power-hungry tyrant, selling himself out to the highest bidder. You preached about destroying 'Communism' and spreading democracy, upsetting all of us who had to deal with Western imperialism first-hand. Now that your alliance with the Crusaders failed, you want to move onto destroying your foes so as to take over the entire Middle East and remodel it into your image, using the issue of Palestine as an excuse.

Hey, Syria. While you are complaning about peaceful protesters...


...my country had to supress the Islamic Unity Bridage, a
terrorist organization. And guess who was running said terrorist organization? The Syrian intelligence agencies! And guess who helped me stop the terrorists once and for all, bringing them down to a very low level of activity? The Egyptians.

All Egypt cares about is trying to protect Arabs from oppression and injustice, regardless of where they happen to reside. While you sneer, Syria, people die due to terror bombings in Jordan and due to Israeli air raids!

We care about Arabs too, Jordan. But we care about all Arabs being free, not a bunch of power-hungry elites who seek to use Arabs as pawns in their geopolitical quest for glory.

You know, normally, I would expect the Arab League to not bicker at each other, but instead focus on the Persian hordes rampaging through Iraq. I must have been far too idealistic.


But since you seem to like complaining about petty political movements instead of actually doing anything, let me complain about the 'Arab Freeedom Fighters'. You would expect that the Arab Freedom Fighters would be fighting for Arabs. Funny thing is, they are not. They are basically Shia fifth columnists, receiving much assistance from Egypt and Iran. They desire to bring my country back to the Middle Ages, creating an Islamic theocracy and waging perpetual war against Israel.

I suppose it would be a good idea to let me speak?

The illegal Zionist occupation regime has contacted me recently via a proposal recently. They wanted me to invade Egypt. If Egypt is in a two-front war, Egypt will fall. The Zionist Regime is even more than willing to let my leader control Egypt, and offered up the idea of resurrecting the idea of a new Arab Republic.

And you expect me to believe that Israel trusted you?

The Zionist Regime is desperate. It is searching for strange bedfellows, much like it is willing to ally with both Syria and Iraq.

So, you're going to sell out to Israel?

I hate Egypt, make no mistake. Egypt is a hypocrite. But the Zionist regime is turning even more insane, and if Egypt falls, what is it to say that Jordan, Lebanon, and Syria would fall too? I am afraid to wonder what would happen if the Zionists convince America to go on a crusade to spread so-called "Democracy" in the Middle East.

The Zionists are not content with occupying Palestine. They're going to occupy the entirty of the Middle East, they're going to create puppet governments, and they're going to use Egypt as an excuse to continue the policy of oppression. I support Egypt's proposal, and furthermore, call on all Arabs to liberate Palestine. The Zionists cannot survive a two-front war.

A war with Israel may be successful, but the consquences will only lead to more warfare in the Middle East. The United States will have no choice BUT to intervene in the Middle East, and a wounded beast will have no reason to restrain its wild behavior. I do support a vote on the motion proposed by Egypt, but suggest one amendment: "The Arab League calls for a cessation of hositilies between Egypt and Israel, and that an indepedent UN investigation be sent to determine the guilt or innocence of Hisham Talaat Moustafa and Tarek Talaat Moustafa." Let us return to the status quo.

Neither side will budge on this issue. It's either Egypt or the Zionists.

If you call a vote on Egypt's motion, both Syria and Iraq will have no choice but to leave the corrupt Arab League, which represent the interests of a few autocrats and desires warfare, as opposed to peace.

But it's totally okay for Syria to intervene in the affairs of Lebanon, huh? You're not welcome here. Get out.
