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Author Topic: The Elf files - A study of the Elven Race's Crimes  (Read 5794 times)

Sareth

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Re: The Elf files - A study of the Elven Race's Crimes
« Reply #15 on: November 30, 2008, 01:22:42 pm »


This man is a genious! Quickly! We must make an alliance with the goblins so that we may defeat the pointy-eared menace!
I second that notion! And it should be fairly easy seeing as Gobbos are now friendly to basically everyone.

Goblins are my main recruits in adventure mode when I decide to raise a war party and attack the forest retreats and human towns overrun with elves.
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Glacies

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Re: The Elf files - A study of the Elven Race's Crimes
« Reply #16 on: November 30, 2008, 05:12:54 pm »

What was that quote about oak on iron and eating demonflesh? Elves are awesome.

LegoLord

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Re: The Elf files - A study of the Elven Race's Crimes
« Reply #17 on: November 30, 2008, 05:15:37 pm »

Elves are awesome.
Burn Glacies, the heretic!

Or just punch him.  Or maybe just annoy him.
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"Oh look there is a dragon my clothes might burn let me take them off and only wear steel plate."
And this is how tinned food was invented.
Alternately: The Brick Testament. It's a really fun look at what the bible would look like if interpreted literally. With Legos.
Just so I remember

Glacies

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Re: The Elf files - A study of the Elven Race's Crimes
« Reply #18 on: November 30, 2008, 05:17:33 pm »

Elf is winnar.

I thought they accepted bone crafts now..?

LegoLord

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Re: The Elf files - A study of the Elven Race's Crimes
« Reply #19 on: November 30, 2008, 05:26:55 pm »

Elf is winnar.

I thought they accepted bone crafts now..?
Doesn't matter.  They still won't take wood, even though they sell it!  They are hippycrites!
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"Oh look there is a dragon my clothes might burn let me take them off and only wear steel plate."
And this is how tinned food was invented.
Alternately: The Brick Testament. It's a really fun look at what the bible would look like if interpreted literally. With Legos.
Just so I remember

userpay

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Re: The Elf files - A study of the Elven Race's Crimes
« Reply #20 on: November 30, 2008, 06:01:13 pm »

Elf is winnar.

I thought they accepted bone crafts now..?
Doesn't matter.  They still won't take wood, even though they sell it!  They are hippycrites!
I think thats because they only sell wood that has died of natural causes ie falling over in winds and stuff.
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winner

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Re: The Elf files - A study of the Elven Race's Crimes
« Reply #21 on: November 30, 2008, 06:05:23 pm »

Don't forget that when you live in freezing areas they bring you dead animals in cages.
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The great game of Warlocks!

Plank of Wood

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Re: The Elf files - A study of the Elven Race's Crimes
« Reply #22 on: November 30, 2008, 06:11:24 pm »

Elf is winnar.

I thought they accepted bone crafts now..?
Doesn't matter.  They still won't take wood, even though they sell it!  They are hippycrites!
I think thats because they only sell wood that has died of natural causes ie falling over in winds and stuff.

Strange, because when a camel accidently falls off a cliff, and we collect the remains, they seem to put it on the same level as killing it with our own hands. Why should they, and only they, be able to use the natural causes excuse?
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The science of burning innocent children could be perfected into clockwork.
They're like little bearded corals.

Glacies

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Re: The Elf files - A study of the Elven Race's Crimes
« Reply #23 on: November 30, 2008, 06:31:32 pm »

They don't mind if you cut down trees. They mind when you don't use the wood.

And they don't care about animals. Jeez. :P

DID I MENTION THEY EAT DEMONS?

Plank of Wood

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Re: The Elf files - A study of the Elven Race's Crimes
« Reply #24 on: November 30, 2008, 06:42:01 pm »

So they're still plotting against us with the wild animals then?
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The science of burning innocent children could be perfected into clockwork.
They're like little bearded corals.

LegoLord

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Re: The Elf files - A study of the Elven Race's Crimes
« Reply #25 on: November 30, 2008, 06:46:48 pm »

DID I MENTION THEY EAT DEMONS?
YES YOU DID.

That doesn't matter, they're still arrogant little @#$@$#
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"Oh look there is a dragon my clothes might burn let me take them off and only wear steel plate."
And this is how tinned food was invented.
Alternately: The Brick Testament. It's a really fun look at what the bible would look like if interpreted literally. With Legos.
Just so I remember

Rockphed

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Re: The Elf files - A study of the Elven Race's Crimes
« Reply #26 on: November 30, 2008, 09:10:38 pm »

Doesn't matter.  They still won't take wood, even though they sell it!  They are hippycrites!

Not hypocrites.  They have a double standard, which is different.
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Only vaguely. Made of the same substance and put to the same use, but a bit like comparing a castle and a doublewide trailer.

Glacies

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Re: The Elf files - A study of the Elven Race's Crimes
« Reply #27 on: November 30, 2008, 10:41:36 pm »

DID I MENTION THEY EAT DEMONS?
YES YOU DID.

That doesn't matter, they're still arrogant little @#$@$#

So says an advocate for judging an entire race. Dwarves are worse if you're going to point fingers. Just look at all the arrogant stuff the playerbase does. And yet, because it's us, we're allowed to be arrogant. Really.

My point is that really, most of us don't like elves because A) It's sort of traditional and tolkien-esque for dwarves to dislike humans, and B) They don't like certain trade goods and their caravans are rubbish.

You wouldn't go ballistic on Hindu's if they didn't accept beef as a trade good, so stuff it. Of course, there is the whole diplomat coming in and threatening you about the number of trees you are allowed to have in your stockpiles, but seriously? It's so easy to accomodate that that I don't really see the reason why you'd care. Unless, of course, you rely on a non-magma powered metalworking industry, but that's un-dwarfy and wasteful. Moreover, 100 trees per year would still keep you in beds, buckets and charcoal quite handily, unless you're making a tower out of metal or some equally big project that goes beyond the odd bit of furniture or armor.
[/nitpick]

TL;DR: STFU! ELF R AWESOMESAUCE. TEH DRUID ROXXORS MAH BOXXORS. EAT PPL!

Pruvan

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Re: The Elf files - A study of the Elven Race's Crimes
« Reply #28 on: November 30, 2008, 10:48:51 pm »

nonsensical gibberish

Call 911, he's delusional.

There there, nice dwarves in white suits will take you to a nice room fuuull of levers. You like levers right? You can pull any lever you want! Then lots of pointy funsys will come out and tickle you! Yeees, happy times.
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I don't see dicks...  I'd hate to ask people to point them out.
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