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[MrGimp]

Now Im on a different computer and the pics are displaying fine.  Hmmm.  Well...this is my main computer, so Ill go with it.  If anyone has problems seeing the pics let me know, Ill see what else I can do.

Yeah Jackrabbit, I like your idea of siding with the goblins...sounds interesting.

Anyways, back to the story...


***************************************

"Holy hell foul dwarf!" shouted the Queen.

"What!?"  Urist stood with blood and vomit spatter covering every inch of her body.  "What's wrong?"

"Uh....well...I see the battle has been hard fought.  How many were lost?"

"Uh...how many of us were there originally?" Urist asked sheepishly.

"Forty-two," answered Queen Cog.

"Oh...then we lost forty-one."

"WHAT?!  Do you mean to tell me you're the ONLY survivor?"

"Yes, your majesty.  I've been living here for over a year."

"Well...I suppose a peasant doesnt need much, right....uhhh....what was your name dwarf?" asked the Queen snobbishly.

"Urist Salvedangers, the Foggy Barbs, at your service your majesty!" 

"The Foggy Barbs?  haw haw haw"  the Queen's royal laugh sent a shiver up Urist's spine.  "What does that even mean dwarf?"

"Barbs hidden in fog.  Its the most dangerous place!" Urist answered proudly.

"Hmph...well...I suppose you've gotten this place running again, right?  What have you been eating?"

"I've been living off of moldy mushrooms and cheap mushroom wine.  Would you care for some?"

"Ack!  No dwarf!  By Armok!  Look...everyone, bring your things inside and claim a bunk for yourself.  Urist, you'll be a good little dwarf and fetch my bags now."

"Yes, your majesty."  Urist grumbled under her breath at this foul blue blooded creature.  And to think...she thought the horror that had riddled Blockedlance had passed.


****************

I gotta cut it short right now...Ill get more up tomorrow!

[MrGimp]

The migrants walked nervously and with their heads bowed as they passed the Queen on the way into Blockedlance.  She made sure Urist had gotten all of her bags, and then she followed them in.

"Oh Armok!  Look at this place!" shrieked the queen as she waded through the bones of the war dogs.

"Yes...uh....well a battle did take place here your majesty."

"Why havent you cleaned this place up???  Youve been here a year!"

"Yes, your majesty, but there were more important things, like burrying our heroic dead.  To be honest, I didnt know you were coming.  I would have advised you not to come."

"Well, I'm here...and now you have help.  You will clean this place," ordered the Queen.  Urist nodded.  "Good...have the dwarves carry out your orders, you're in charge.  I've got better things to do than dote on you peasants.  Now where are my chambers?"

"I uh....I havent carved any out for a noble....Ill get on it once I clean up the bones.  There are plenty of bedrooms downstairs, your majesty."

"Hmph."  The Queen relented.  She placed her things in one of the small peasant rooms.  Life...briefly...returned to normal.



Urist was glad to have the help...and she was glad to be the boss, even if the queen was around.  The Queen seemed to like other people doing all the work anyways.

As Urist commanded the Bone Carver to start making things out of the skulls and bones, the queen did nothing.  As the farmers planted seed which would feed the entire fortress, the queen still did nothing.  As Urist and the remaining dwarves piled the steel weapons and armor into the barracks stockpile, the queen, again, did nothing.

But that was the routine at Blockedlance.



Life settled into a form a normality...if one could call living next door to an imprisoned fire demon normal.

Life was good.  In fact, the only person who was ever unhappy was the damn queen.  Either the mushrooms were too soggy, or the mushroom wine had too many soggy chunks in it, or she was sick of eating and drinking mushroom all the time....on and on this needy high maintenance bitch went with her petty problems.

The worst was when she complained about her lodgings.  With months of doing nothing, the queen had plenty of time on her hands.  She had apparently found her way downstairs and discovered Urist's splendid chambers, office, and private dining room.  Suffice it to say, she was outraged and threw a tantrum.



Urist was trying to console the Queen when all of a sudden a farmer ran up to them completely out of breath and shouting frantically.

"YOUR HIGHNESS!!!!!   YOUR HIGHNESS!!!!"

"Damnit dwarf, address your mindless complaints to the overseer!" shouted Cog.

"OVERSEER!  Quick!  A demon!  Theres a demon out in the field!  Hes got Meng Syrupfuture!"



Urist rushed to the entrace and looked to the north.  Sure enough, Meng was lying motionless on the ground and was being horribly burned by the spirit of fire.



Urist had been afraid of another demon popping up.  This one had apparently been hiding in the hills above Blockedlance for over a year.  But she had taken precautions, equipping 5 of the migrants with weapons.  It was too late for Meng, but the fortress would be defended till the last.

Urist ordered the marksdwarf and 4 axedwarves forward.  Not all the soldiers heeded the order at the same time however.  One axedwarf was a little earlier than everyone else, and ended up wearing his burnt ass as a hat.  The marksdwarf stood on a hill firing below, wounded the spirit of fire somehow.  The demon charged at the markswarf, who was helpless at close range.  He died, and the demon continued on inside Blockedlance.  He made it a few feet before the other 3 axedwarves showed up and finished him.

Blockedlance was saved!

[Glacies]

Kill everyone and do the hermit, yeah, do the hermit challenge. (Cha, cha, cha!)

[Warlord255]

You have a Queen, and a spirit of fire in a bedroom.

YOU KNOW NOW WHAT YOU MUST DO.

[Jackrabbit]

I don't care if it isn't a hermit challenge, I like the idea of a fortress trying to survive with a bitchy queen (standerd queen, I mean) and demons in the closet (or bedroom, as it were)

[MrGimp]

The excitement calmed down and Blockedlance went back to normal.  This meant that the Queen continued her ridiculous complaining.  How a dwarf could be sick of mushrooms confounded Urist.  Still, she promised the Queen that she would try, and had a new trade depot constructed.  She even gave up her splendid bedroom to the queen.

Urist thought she could get back to her engraving, it was quite therapuetic for her.  But no...the queen was still not happy.

"Urist!"

"No need to thank me for letting you move into the old overseer's room your majesty, I was happy to -"

"Shut up!  The room is detestable!  Sure it's a splendid room...but it's not exactly royal," explained the queen.

"Well...*sigh*...what would you like me to do about it?" asked Urist.

"I would like a whole new room.  I don't like the idea of living in somebody else's old room.  A queen shouldnt need hand me downs.  Oh...and I'm going to need you to carve out a massive royal burial tomb for me."

"What?  You want to be burried HERE?"

"Of course...this is going to become the wealthiest mine in the world with all that adamantine!"  The Queen's face beamed and her eyes twinkled.  Then she frowned.  "Tell me, dwarf...why haven't we started mining adamantine yet?"

"Uh...well, we dont even have a forge up yet...and we dont have a full time craftsdwarf to extract the -"

"Excuses excuses. I know all about you Urist.  You're a loafer and a criminal!  I found a soldier's old logbook lying in the hallway, under a pile of junk.  This soldier kept track of the crimes going on in this fort shortly before he died.  He names YOU as having done unspeakable things to the animals!"



"WHAT?!  LIES!!!  I did no such thing!" shouted Urist.  "There was no proper sheriff at the time...that evidence isn't admissable in court!  That logbook was being kept by some half-mad starving dwarf anyways...nothing written in there is true!"

"I dont believe you Urist!"

"Damnit!  I dont care if you fell out of the royal vagina or not!  Where I come from it is deed, not blood, that determines a person's worth!  I'm Urist Salvedangers, the Foggy Barbs!  I killed Erush Shieldpaints the Trifling Flimsiness!!!!  You WILL respect me!!! 

Urist couldnt believe what had come over her.  The Queen looked horrified.  She was utterly speechless...at last.  After an awkward and silent moment, the queen skulked off, and Urist didnt hear from her for a while.

The months wore on.  Urist appointed one of the farmers, Mafol Lanceappears, as the hamlet broker, and sold scrap crafts to the elf and human traders that visited.  It was a way to pick up other varieties of booze and food, and also to get the place cleaned up.



One night, Urist was awoken by a sound in her room.  She jumped in terror when she saw someone standing over her bed.  But it was just Mafol, the trader.

"Uhhh...what are you doing?" asked Urist.

"I'm attending the meeting."

"What meeting Mafol?  I'm not CONDUCTING a meeting!  I'm trying to sleep right now!"

"I see that...but I cant do anything else until I get this taken care of."

"Damnit Mafol....Im going to bed!  Ill speak with you in the morning!"  Urist rolled back over and threw the covers over her face.  Mafol didn't move a muscle.

"Sure boss.  I'll wait."





After Urist awoke and conducted the meeting, he was greeted with horrible news.  The queen had thrown yet another tantrum, this time killing one of the farmer's pet bull. 

"That's it!  That's the last straw.  She can't flagrantly violate the law and expect to get away with it just because she's a noble!  She wanted me beaten and thrown in jail for a almost a year for disorderly conduct!  Well let's see how SHE likes serving hard time.  Lock her in that splendid bedroom of hers!  Then throw away the key!"  The dwarves, ever distrustful of nobility, did as they were commanded.  She kicked and screamed as they took her away. 



They locked her up and she immediately destroyed a door.  Luckily, it was not the door that lead out of the cell...er, bedroom.

Within a couple weeks, the glorious news was brought to Urist's ears: Cog Giltbalance the Tactical Relief of Fortifying had starved and died.

[Jackrabbit]

Viva la revolution! Kill each noble that arrives at your fortress and make it look like Urist did it on purpose!

[Strife26]

So begins the slope to anarchy . . .

[Jackrabbit]

More fun than sanity anyway.

[MrGimp]

Jackrabbit - Yeah, revolution is basically where Im headed...Urist leading a band of noble killing outlaws, that also kill everyones caravans.  Urist wants to be a millionaire.

Warlord255 - Nah...I got a better idea for that spirit of fire...if it works out the way Im envisioning it.  haha



I know everyone wants a hermit challenge...I do too...but Id need a migrant killing machine, and to build a migrant killing machine Im going to need migrants.  Dont worry...there will be blood.  And of course insane dwarves named Urist.  If enough dwarves end up dying, and I stop getting migrants, this could end up being a hermit challenge all by itself.

[Warlord255]

Won't a new King/Queen show up?...

[AlienChickenPie]

Great stuff so far, keep it up.

[MrGimp]

Won't a new King/Queen show up?...

Yes but they can be taken care of once I get a noble disemboweling device up and running.  Im thinking of Urist either leading an independent Blockedlance against all comers, or of Urist going insane and building a death machine for everyone to hop inside of.  I cant decide...

[MrGimp]

The Entrance of Blockedlance (with Barracks on right) as of spring 206.



Not much happened for the rest of 205, or any of 206.  Urist burried the queen in the catacombs, along with everyone else.  No special place for her.  She'll spend eternity next to the bull she killed.




Theres the Trade Depot.  Thats where we get our trade on.




Urist spent the rest of the year smoothing the hallways in the bedroom level.  It was calming and relaxing.  Urist felt she had time to think.  Soon it became something of an obsession, but the other dwarves didnt seem to mind.  She was making the place look nice.  Plus she was a hero for ridding Blockedlance of the demons...and then of course she killed a queen!  In dwarven society, killing a noble is seen as one of the most charitable and just actions one can do.

No...Urist was finding acceptance among them.  Although when she heard rumors that Mafol Lanceappears had been friends with Queen Cog, Mafol was demoted to Clerk.  Some other jerk, a guy named Morul, was made trader.  Urist would have none of the queen's pawns representing Blockedlance to the outside world!

And so the year 206 passed uneventfully.  No migrants had the bearded dwarven testicles to stomach the move to Blockedlance.

[dizzyelk]

"Damnit!  I dont care if you fell out of the royal vagina..."

I laughed so hard at this. Best line ever.