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[MrGimp]

TRAGEDY!!!!!



The Duke has gone fey!!!  Oh noes!!!  Now he's going to go emo from not being able to find turtle shell!!!!!

The Queen sends prayers to Armok for the continued sanity of her would-be love.

[Moose Fisher]

Quick, have the duke name a successor!

[Tazgrent]

Wow. I just spent the last 3 days reading this.

HOLY.
SHIT.
AMAZING.

And now, I'd like to be a part of it, if possible. Could I have some sort of stone or metal worker? If none of those are available, some sort of wood or craft dwarf. Name: Tazgrent. Make my eventual death dwarfy.

[HAMMERMILL]

Good stuff.

So how is Baron von Montague doing? I forgot what his profession even was.

[Soviet Travolta]

TRAGEDY!!!!!

The Duke has gone fey!!!  Oh noes!!!  Now he's going to go emo from not being able to find turtle shell!!!!!

The Queen sends prayers to Armok for the continued sanity of her would-be love.

Oh come on! I'm swimming in billon and now all i want is turtle shell? Damn my noble genes. Never satisfied of anything!
Anyway, going emo seems a pretty accurate reaction for having sexual intercourse covered in blood for several years.

Make the best of it, Mr Gimp!

[Khamero]

Whoo! Finally caught up to this thread, apparently I stopped getting updates on my mail and forgot all about these forums...   

But now I'm back again, and as the only apparent dwarf in this fortress not having my lance blocked either! Just figures what I´d do if I got a noble in bed... =D

...I wonder if the other male dwarves around there are getting jealous?
I also wonder how me and Jewelettarette met? Must have been when the pyramid was finished...

[MrGimp]

Wow. I just spent the last 3 days reading this.

HOLY.
SHIT.
AMAZING.

And now, I'd like to be a part of it, if possible. Could I have some sort of stone or metal worker? If none of those are available, some sort of wood or craft dwarf. Name: Tazgrent. Make my eventual death dwarfy.

Sure.  Tazgrent is a stonecrafter now.  You're already legendary.  You and the other surviving stonecrafter have already crafted the undesirable stones.  But more are on the way as I expand the Dwarven Valhalla Cave, so you'll have more to craft soon.

And as a pagan your death will be very dwarfy.   

[MrGimp]

Good stuff.

So how is Baron von Montague doing? I forgot what his profession even was.

He's head of the Stonecutters, under the Duke.  Since the pyramid is done I guess you and the other 'cutters have been hanging about socializing.  Which is good.  I'm getting everyone to hang out in a one-tile wide meeting area in an alcove under the waterfall.  Hopefully you and the other Armok worshipers will start getting married and making more babies.

You were supposed to hook up with Moose, the Duchess' daughter.  But now you're bunking with fellow Armok worshiping Stonecutter Baroness Aldaris.  I dont really care who you end up tying the knot with though.  JUST BANG!!!

 

[MrGimp]

After well over a month of gathering items from all over the fort, refusing to socialize, refusing to eat, and even refusing booze, Duke Travolta has come forth from his hiding place with this...



...a talc weapon rack. 

Yay.   

 

The Queen was quite pissed.

"I dont get it Travolta!" shouted the Queen in irritation.  "Why did you build this out of talc? If you're trying to make something legendarily awesome, why can't you think to use some Adamantine?  I've left loads of it down there waiting to be had by you psychotic dwarves in your fits....and yet, you make nothing interesting!  A talc weapon rack?  Why cant you make a weapon or a shield, or some armor?"

"Uhhh..." mumbled the Duke.  "I'm not an armorsmith."

"Yeah well you're not a mason or a stonecrafter either!  What's with the picture of the artifact Adamantine table on there huh?  Why would you want to remind people of what a semi-decent artifact is when they're looking at this piece of junk?!  I can't believe I called an artifact table a semi-decent artifact!  Thats how bad this talc weapon rack is!"  The Queen was quite flustered by this point.  The Duke was afraid to speak.

Finally he mustered the courage.  "Sooo....you don't want it?"

The Queen sighed heavily and rolled her eyes.  "Of course I don't want it!  Why don't you give it to your mother?  Talc is befitting a Grand-Duchess....not a Queen!"

"Yes, dear," replied the Duke as the Queen stammered off in frustration.

[MrGimp]

In more interesting news...



The Court Musician Kurk Quorcane has officially tied the knot with his beloved Dungeon Mistress Petbeard!  Hopefully babies will soon be on the way!  Full blooded noble Armok worshipers this time! 

Urist had mixed feelings about Kurk, having once tried to awkwardly have a relationship with him.  It had stopped short of blood soaked sex when Kurk was found plotting to kill her.  But now that Kurk's spirit had utterly been broken (he sits all day playing depressing songs on his harp) the Queen was kind of happy to see him be put to good use breeding Armok worshipers for the next generation.  Especially since the Dungeon Mistress was known for dominating, chaining up, and whipping her lovers.  She knew Kurk was getting the treatment he deserved.



The Stonecutters are getting some part time work building a small mural inside the pyramid.  An unimportant dwarf named Cerol accidentally walled himself in, and his spirit was given to Armok.  While his family may provide a coffin for him in the catacombs, this will be as a memorial for them.  His actual bones will remain interred in the pyramid until they rot to dust.

[Argonnek]

You know, if you wanted Queen Urist to attract the Duke, you could have a certain legendary, Armok-worshiping clothier make her a sexy outfit. *cough*

[Cheddarius]

Well, I think Travolta's rack is pretty nice.

[The Architect]

Well, I think Travolta's rack is pretty nice.

I never noticed. Does he really have a nice chest? Never seen him take his shirt off in any movies.
(this is where the Sarcmark might actually be useful)

[Ze Spy]

WALLS STOLE OUR DWARFS

honestly , Takin' what don't belong to 'em. That's how Walls roll.

[Huesoo]

Holy shit skull arena? Also could you train Freeden to be a swordsdwarf?