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Author Topic: Future of the Fortress: List of Remaining Items  (Read 3510935 times)

umiman

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Re: Future of the Fortress: List of Remaining Items
« Reply #1500 on: April 11, 2009, 08:48:45 pm »

Murderous gang members? I doubt the ones who would form the cult of Toady could aspire to such levels... Though, you can't underestimate the power of fanaticism.

Did you know the actual solve and conviction rate of homicides is actually less than 10%? That means you actually have pretty good chances of committing murder, should it come to that. I wonder who Toady One would need to have killed though... it would be... interesting.

Greiger

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Re: Future of the Fortress: List of Remaining Items
« Reply #1501 on: April 11, 2009, 09:58:53 pm »

Well we were trained by LCS.  We would all likely make excellent fanatical squad members.  Tye dying shirts and helping old ladies cross the street one day, shooting up a corporate headquarters with automatic weaponry and S.W.A.T. armor the next.

Why do I suddenly get the feeling the FBI is monitoring my messages now...

Anyway I feel Toady may be a little uncomfortable with the setup.  I mean it's a bit odd having 6 guys in trench coats following you, bugging random people about labor laws while grocery shopping at wal-mart.
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Armok

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Re: Future of the Fortress: List of Remaining Items
« Reply #1502 on: April 11, 2009, 10:52:57 pm »

We HAVE to do this, it would be glorious.

I vote EA is first.
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Neonivek

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Re: Future of the Fortress: List of Remaining Items
« Reply #1503 on: April 11, 2009, 11:07:00 pm »

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I vote EA is first.

Can we wait until the Sims 3 is finished? I kinda like that game.
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Armok

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Re: Future of the Fortress: List of Remaining Items
« Reply #1504 on: April 11, 2009, 11:30:42 pm »

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I vote EA is first.

Can we wait until the Sims 3 is finished?
No.
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Neonivek

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Re: Future of the Fortress: List of Remaining Items
« Reply #1505 on: April 11, 2009, 11:32:47 pm »

Then the Toady Cult must be stopped!

I'll use their ULTIMATE weakness! Hyperbole!
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Hectonkhyres

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Re: Future of the Fortress: List of Remaining Items
« Reply #1506 on: April 12, 2009, 01:37:35 am »

Of course my preferred solution would be for several dozen of the more devoted DF fanatics to form a cult compound to house the sacred Toady.

Haha christ this is a hilarious image.  I'm picturing something like the Luminous Path compound in Deus Ex, with lone genius Tracer Tong in the basement, working tirelessly and doing his best to ignore the fact that he has dozens of murderously loyal gang members at his beck and call.

I get to be the guy who just hangs out at the compound entrance with an auto-shotgun. 
You have to admit that there are quite a few upsides for everyone involved in maintaining a cult compound: Its cheaper to pay for one largeish building rather than paying for two dozen suburban dwellings or apartments, a lot of goods (DVDs , vacuum cleaners, whatever) only really need to be bought once per household, children can be creched, things can be bought in bulk. The only reasons not to live in a cult compound are that there will probably be more men than toilets and whatever insanity the cult itself might inflict on you. Suicide pacts, giving a huge tithe to the cult leader so he can afford more silk pajamas, having to eat nothing but lentils, if you leave they have to kill you. Yeah... that last bit is usually the deal breaker.

Of course the is nothing that says a compound has to be run by a cult or that, should it be, the cult has to be insane and self destructive. Its just that religious fervor built around someone with enough charisma to draw followers while nutty enough to want to wall his followers away from the world at large tends to be what is necessary to found one.

But it is indeed damn humorous to think of the sort of compound DF fanatics would construct. Knowing us, we would probably treat it just like one of our fortresses... complete with bridgeapults, drowning chambers, and a moat of actual lava. We are not the sanest group in the world. Its a pity women do not exist on the internet or else we could turn this into an orgiastic cult. I know they aren't strictly required, but I'm not Greek.
 
« Last Edit: April 12, 2009, 01:43:10 am by Hectonkhyres »
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Aqizzar

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Re: Future of the Fortress: List of Remaining Items
« Reply #1507 on: April 12, 2009, 02:00:18 am »

But it is indeed damn humorous to think of the sort of compound DF fanatics would construct. Knowing us, we would probably treat it just like one of our fortresses... complete with bridgeapults, drowning chambers, and a moat of actual lava. We are not the sanest group in the world. Its a pity women do not exist on the internet or else we could turn this into an orgiastic cult. I know they aren't strictly required, but I'm not Greek.

I was about to say, that a house-cult built around providing for Toady's needs, populated by us, would literally be a real life recreation of Dwarf Fortress with Toady as the player absently managing an entire fortress just to support his megaproject.  Except he'd be a bit more sentimental than most players, and nobody would die in masonry accidents for the project.  Probably.
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Techhead

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Re: Future of the Fortress: List of Remaining Items
« Reply #1508 on: April 12, 2009, 03:10:18 am »

What about lava accidents?
I, for one, support a prompt cremation on the event of my demise.
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Neonivek

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Re: Future of the Fortress: List of Remaining Items
« Reply #1509 on: April 12, 2009, 05:01:55 am »

What about lava accidents?
I, for one, support a prompt cremation on the event of my demise.

Technically it isn't cremation if you fall into lava.
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Areyar

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Re: Future of the Fortress: List of Remaining Items
« Reply #1510 on: April 12, 2009, 07:15:57 am »

Just read something about socalled 'cargo cults'...
Toady1 can be our messiah who shall bring his hallowed updates as cargo when the apocalypse is near.
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Greiger

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Re: Future of the Fortress: List of Remaining Items
« Reply #1511 on: April 12, 2009, 08:22:58 am »

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Scamps fell asleep on my shoulder like a very tired parrot today

*looks around* ... Awww...

We would need to make sure our crazy cult takes care of Scamps too.  Catsplosion be damned, the universe has a pretty good processor, it should be able to handle a couple generations of Scampslings without bogging down too much.  If necessary we'll drain the ocean to free up the calculations.
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LegacyCWAL

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Re: Future of the Fortress: List of Remaining Items
« Reply #1512 on: April 12, 2009, 08:24:35 am »

I get to be the guy who just hangs out at the compound entrance with an auto-shotgun. 

Screw an auto-shotgun, I'd want the turret-mounted shotgun gatling that Futureweapons showed.
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Lamp

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Re: Future of the Fortress: List of Remaining Items
« Reply #1513 on: April 12, 2009, 10:41:11 am »

The universe has a pretty good processor
Alright, I laughed.

Yeah, we should be fine for awhile. But how will we deal with the catsplosion when all the little scamps adopt us? :(
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Footkerchief

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Re: Future of the Fortress: List of Remaining Items
« Reply #1514 on: April 12, 2009, 11:20:31 am »

Its a pity women do not exist on the internet or else we could turn this into an orgiastic cult. I know they aren't strictly required, but I'm not Greek.

Every proper fortress has a wrestling squad, so that's almost the same thing.  Although you don't see many orgies where everybody gets married afterwards.
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