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Author Topic: Unluckiest Battle  (Read 24128 times)

Fluffy Wambler

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Re: Unluckiest Battle
« Reply #45 on: March 23, 2009, 05:27:24 am »

Quote
The Fluffy wambler has become enraged!
The Fluffy wambler charges at The Orc Crusher!
The Fluffy wambler collides with The Orc Crusher!
They tangle together and fall over!
The The Orc Crusher strikes The Fluffy wambler in the head with his steel War Hammer!
It is bruised!
The Fluffy wambler brain's has been sprained!
The Fluffy wambler bites The Orc Crusher in Head!
The head flies off in a bloody arc!
The Orc Crusher has been struck down.
The flying steel arrow strikes The Fluffy wambler in the head!
It is pierced through entirely!
shos”pypuk˜soluv”tr‘ the "dangerous fury of teeth" has been shot and killed.

FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP :D :D :D :D
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bunsoth datannil

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Re: Unluckiest Battle
« Reply #46 on: March 24, 2009, 06:37:36 pm »

Quote
The Fluffy wambler has become enraged!
The Fluffy wambler charges at The Orc Crusher!
The Fluffy wambler collides with The Orc Crusher!
They tangle together and fall over!
The The Orc Crusher strikes The Fluffy wambler in the head with his steel War Hammer!
It is bruised!
The Fluffy wambler brain's has been sprained!
The Fluffy wambler bites The Orc Crusher in Head!
The head flies off in a bloody arc!
The Orc Crusher has been struck down.
The flying steel arrow strikes The Fluffy wambler in the head!
It is pierced through entirely!
shos”pypuk˜soluv”tr‘ the "dangerous fury of teeth" has been shot and killed.

FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP :D :D :D :D

May I bestow upon you the title shos”pypuk˜soluv”tr‘ the "dangerous fury of teeth" ?
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Bunsoth Datannil "The Godforsaken Iron Hammer"
"no one likes a flaming dwarf"
At points like this, I say listen to our dwarven forefathers and say "fuck the world, pull the lever".

kotekzot

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Re: Unluckiest Battle
« Reply #47 on: March 29, 2009, 02:23:04 am »

inod ironfloods the butcher of ears was plowing through another forest retreat as usual, brandishing his masterwork adamantine sword, wearing his superior quality plate mail, when he was shot to the head, lost consciousness and collapsed to the pond, where he was promptly killed. still, he butchered many ears that day.
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Dwarf Fortress: Where violent death is a renewable resource
Bro, your like... thinking like a square man... its like, the WHOLE lamprey is just like, one big NECK dude, you know? its like hahahaha! dude protect the trees though, seriously. *inhale*... anyways... you like, want this dead black bear, bro?

Admiral jimbob

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Re: Unluckiest Battle
« Reply #48 on: April 08, 2009, 07:26:05 am »

Well, I think I have two from the last two days. Most unlucky because of the way they link together.

Character one. The Chewhill Strangler. My first wrestler to successfully gouge out the eyes of everyone in town. I proceeded to wander around with a mighty new battleaxe chopping away at my leisure. When I got bored and there was nobody left to strangle, I set out for the next town, already a mighty Elite Wrestler. One hand for the axe, one hand for the gouging and strangling. Nobody could stop me.
I then ran into a bear which ate my strangling arm.
Struggled along to a nearby elven village, where I discovered that I couldn't move him without him passing out from pain; I didn't regain control until he was dehydrated. I tested this out a few times before giving up; while a one-armed strangler would be cool too, he wasn't... er... playable. So I retired him in the village.

Started a new character, another axeman/wrestler combination. Wandered around doing odd jobs, happened across a Dark Fortress filled with willing recruits (and apparently this, but I never met him). Naturally, I recruited all the child prisoners, creating an unstoppable six-man giant-killing child squad. Some died along the way, so I recruited other memorable characters, like a thief who chopped bears in half every time we fought them.
Made my way back down the coast, looking for work, when I decided to pop in and see if I could recruit the Chewhill Strangler. When I finally found and approached him, however, he screamed his name and desire to attack me, and... er... fainted again. So I attacked him for good measure, and the entire elven village turned against me.
Including the three bowmen within firing range.

Those were good characters :(
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Anamabir

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Re: Unluckiest Battle
« Reply #49 on: April 09, 2009, 06:03:17 pm »

I was playing as a Spirit of Fire, just to try it. I attacked a dark fortress, and slaughtered everyone I met in those claustrophobic corridors. When I reached the roof, though, I ran into some trouble with some archers and got pretty badly wounded. Stupid as I was, I didn't just fly away, but instead figured that I should make my way to the exit of the fortress through the usual system of stairs, because I'd get to kill some more gobbos. That I did, and I thought myself lucky that the attack had gone so well. When I neared the entrance, however, I met another goblin. There was nothing special about him, so I attacked him as all the others. As I attacked, he jumped away, causing me to slam into the wall. He took advantage of the situation, and somehow chopped my lower body off.
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Cthulhu

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Re: Unluckiest Battle
« Reply #50 on: April 09, 2009, 11:42:55 pm »

the butcher of ears

Nothing more butcherable than ears.  I'm playing the demo for Sniper Elite right now, and so far I've managed to hit almost everyone right in the earhole.
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Shoes...

Guy Montag

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Re: Unluckiest Battle
« Reply #51 on: April 16, 2009, 01:39:17 pm »

I was working on an elf adventurer, and it turns out animals really are friendly to you, friendly enough to let you waltz up and strangle them to death.

So I was swimming in the river to get my stats up, since I had no way of like, getting any real armor or any possible means of surviving my plan to liberate/slay all the traitors at the Human Forest Retreat of Spudglade or whatever.

Anyways, I walk up to a friendly sea lamprey in the river, strangle the holy hell out of it. One sided battle, right? The thing won't even fight back!

6 pages of "You Strangle the Sea Lamprey!" spam untill I got overexterted and prompty drowned.

Worst battle ever.
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Tradanbattlan

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Re: Unluckiest Battle
« Reply #52 on: April 16, 2009, 04:40:02 pm »

I was working on an elf adventurer, and it turns out animals really are friendly to you, friendly enough to let you waltz up and strangle them to death.

So I was swimming in the river to get my stats up, since I had no way of like, getting any real armor or any possible means of surviving my plan to liberate/slay all the traitors at the Human Forest Retreat of Spudglade or whatever.

Anyways, I walk up to a friendly sea lamprey in the river, strangle the holy hell out of it. One sided battle, right? The thing won't even fight back!

6 pages of "You Strangle the Sea Lamprey!" spam untill I got overexterted and prompty drowned.

Worst battle ever.
Moral of the story: Sea Lampreys are hard to strangle seeing as they have no necks.

Guy Montag

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Re: Unluckiest Battle
« Reply #53 on: April 16, 2009, 04:45:30 pm »

Bro, your like... thinking like a square man... its like, the WHOLE lamprey is just like, one big NECK dude, you know? its like hahahaha! dude protect the trees though, seriously. *inhale*... anyways... you like, want this dead black bear, bro? It comes with with this um, cedar cage, man, but its legit, the tree didnt' suffer any...
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Tradanbattlan

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Re: Unluckiest Battle
« Reply #54 on: April 16, 2009, 05:25:01 pm »

Bro, your like... thinking like a square man... its like, the WHOLE lamprey is just like, one big NECK dude, you know? its like hahahaha! dude protect the trees though, seriously. *inhale*... anyways... you like, want this dead black bear, bro? It comes with with this um, cedar cage, man, but its legit, the tree didnt' suffer any...
Yeeeeeah maaan... I mean... It wass all on the ground and WAITAMINUTE I'm not an elf!

thunderclan

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Re: Unluckiest Battle
« Reply #55 on: April 19, 2009, 01:50:06 am »

My last adventure stated so well but ended so badly.

Created a Dwarf Wrestler, which I heavily modded so I could be crazy without being pin-cushioned. Right away I traveled to a Human town where a Maceman and 3 Merchants were drinking in the Tavern.

I manage to remove the eyes of 2 Merchants and knock out the 3rd with a piece of meat. I wrestled the hat off one of the Merchants and threw it at the Maceman, breaking his shield arm.

Saw a Bowman arrive so I ran upstairs where a Pikemaster was standing. Broke his legs with some of my clothing and took the pike and killed him with it. Tossed a sock at the Maceman from above and blew him apart.

Got shot in the foot before I impaled and blew apart the Bowman with a pike and shoe combo.

Walked next door to a house where I beat up the Guard sleeping there. I try to leave and 6 or 7 Humans are blocking the doorway. Put up a good fight and killed a Swordsman with my pants before I got strangled to death by a one-armed child.

They didn't like me much, according to Legend they stuck me on an Ash Pike.
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zchris13

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Re: Unluckiest Battle
« Reply #56 on: April 20, 2009, 07:36:01 pm »

They didn't like me much, according to Legend they stuck me on an Ash Pike.
SCORE!
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Tlc2011

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Re: Unluckiest Battle
« Reply #57 on: June 15, 2011, 07:59:02 pm »

I visited my old fortress, now abandoned and full of Antmen, managed to kill everyone, snag an artifact gold opal and a masterpiece "Tomahawk" (Steel Battle Axe, but since I don't know how to equip I just throw it at people and kill them that way  ;D), and was about to make it out, loaded.

Then while travelling to a nearby dorf civ (was an Elf Wrestler at this point) I got ambushed by 3 harpies and killed  :'(

Err, this may be a thread necro but it's gonna help a guy:

Drop the weapon you have and your shield if any, then pick up the weapon that you didn't drop and the shield. That's how you equip weapons and stuff...Crappy, i know
Re: Unluckiest Battle
« Reply #58 on: June 16, 2011, 11:17:00 am »

This one sucked. No battle even took place.

I leave town with a full ensemble of mighty warriors. Night falls. We stop to sleep for the night.

I wake up with an arrow in my brain during an ambush ><
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Ilirion

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Re: Unluckiest Battle
« Reply #59 on: June 17, 2011, 01:59:53 am »

I had a moon horror pick up a cloak and proceed to stab a pikeman to death with it, then severely wound a wrestler.
it died 'cause I made it's upper body sail off in an arc.

now my unluckiest one may be due to either a glitch or a syndrome (if they affect you in adventure mode).
I got ambushed in the night. I took one step towards the humans, before anything touched me (no arrows hit me) I dropped all of my weapons, was reduced to crawling and my only attack was biting.
I still caused the leader's head to cave in with this.

My guess is some damage was done to your upper spine without you noticing it. You might have had an infection there as well.
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