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Author Topic: Dwarves don't poop  (Read 26936 times)

Jinkii

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Re: Dwarves don't poop
« Reply #30 on: March 01, 2009, 12:57:55 pm »

Human waste has many uses in real life construction and manufacturing:
Urea is used as a fixing agent for dyes, a Fertilizer for crops, a Stabilizer for Explosives (<-- THIS!) and Browning Agents in factory produced Pretzels (WTH???)

Solid Waste is used in the production of Breeze Blocks, Agricultural Fertilizer and to Cure Leather

so many of the uses of these substances are already in game without the need of the substances so the discussion is moot
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Yanlin

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Re: Dwarves don't poop
« Reply #31 on: March 01, 2009, 03:37:54 pm »

Don't forget that if you shape solid waste like fish, you can make a cake out of it.
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joelpt

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Re: Dwarves don't poop
« Reply #32 on: April 19, 2009, 03:03:13 pm »

I think sewage would be a fun and potentially hilarious addition.

Some thoughts:

- Sewage should flow much like water or magma. For simplicity, both "#1" and "#2" type sewage products should probably just be combined.

- Thus constructions like waterwheels and pumps should be usable. For example, a map lacking a river could utilize this fact to generate "perpetual" mechanical power from a sufficiently active sewage system.

- Since some players would undoubtedly prefer not to deal with excrement, I'd suggest making toilets/bathrooms an optional construction, and the dwarves would only (need to) use them if they were available. If not present, then they just would never come up as a concern.

- Similarly dwarves should probably not be required to use the bathroom very often - say once every 6 meals or something. While this is perhaps unrealistic (though I hear dwarves have iron bladders) it would avoid the problem of dwarves constantly needing to use the bathroom.

- Also, for sanity, it might be best to consider toilet-use an optional "fun" activity like viewing statues currently is. In other words, don't make dwarves shit their pants if they can't get to the potty in time. I am darkly reminded of The Sims...

- Special furnaces could be placed over sewage streams, yielding an endless source of char-material and thus partially standing in for a lack of a magma source (but with probable additional complications such as miasma).

- Would add a useful purpose for soap.

- Automated sewage fertilizing systems could be created by plumbing sewage to be periodically dumped on farm plots, after "maturing" in an appropriate reservoir for some time first. Such developed "manure" should probably not produce miasma. A dual-reservoir system utilizing pressure plates and floodgates could possibly help automate the process.

- Inventory screen: feces smear (throat)

- Who would not like to see a sewage flood trap. Feces 7/7

- Drawbridge + sewage = hilarity. I also have to second the shitfall idea.


The biggest downside I see to implementing sewage is that it might lead to a profusion of poo-oriented DFMA videos, which might give potential new players a skewed impression of what the game is about.


And yes, this is my first post. Disturbing...

G-Flex

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Re: Dwarves don't poop
« Reply #33 on: April 19, 2009, 03:06:04 pm »

- Thus constructions like waterwheels and pumps should be usable. For example, a map lacking a river could utilize this fact to generate "perpetual" mechanical power from a sufficiently active sewage system.

If your dwarves are outputting several kilowatts of energy just by pooping, you're going to need one hell of a plump helmet farm just to give them that energy in the first place, unless they're doing it from low orbit.


Seriously though, my major argument against all of this is that currently the game wouldn't be able to handle it in a non-disgusting way that doesn't resemble bad toilet humor. Dwarves already don't mind being caked in vomit, and throwing it in adventure mode is already silly (and lethal). We don't need the same issues compounded by a few orders of magnitude, especially not with something like human waste.
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salttotart

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Re: Dwarves don't poop
« Reply #34 on: April 19, 2009, 03:11:18 pm »

Urea is used as a fixing agent for dyes, a Fertilizer for crops, a Stabilizer for Explosives (<-- THIS!) and Browning Agents in factory produced Pretzels (WTH???)

You missed one.  Urea is also effective in neutralizing chlorine gas into dichlorourea.  During World War I, soldiers without gas masks would pee on a handkerchief and wrap it around their face.
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If this all doesn't fix it, your dwarfs are lazy. Apply magma.
"And thereafter, all dwarven children were taught to mind their stools, lest the toilet-fiends snatch their souls from their bottoms"
Try rubbing a cat on it, that seems to help.

Aspgren

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Re: Dwarves don't poop
« Reply #35 on: April 19, 2009, 03:27:52 pm »

CAUTION! This post is off-topic. Read at your own amusement.

I have this fantasy about a survival horror game in which you're a Japanese girl who has to take care of her little sister ... see some people bombed them with a zombie virus and they responded with nuclear weaponry, soon the entire world followed and BAM we have a nuclear winter.

Since the Japs launched the first nuclear missile you have to survive crippling racism as well, the Japanese girl is in New Zealand and that tropical paradise has completely frozen over. In this game ... you poop.

Cuz basically it's not about drama or shooting zombies or stuff it's just about surviving for X days until you get rescued and flown to Japan by your cousin who's a helicopter pilot. You go around gathering food, fighting zombies only when you have to, keeping warm and ... poop.

HFS of this game would include a mutant, horrible gollum-looking human who eats poop. or rather "disgusting pile" as it is called and censored like in the sims. It'd crawl over seemingless impossible obstacles (camping out on the 10th floor? he's coming through the window!) and he seeks out your *disgusting pile* and either eats from it loudly smacking or takes from it and runs off. If your character meets this thing she will later have nightmares, which causes her to be sleepy and won't think/react very well to the things around her.
another HFS would be for failed cooking. Rotting meat and poop all become *disgusting pile* and if you fail cooking you get a nice pot of *disgusting pile* which I personally find pretty funny. "This taste's like shit, sis!"

I was thinking of doing like a webcomic kind of thing where a couple of people play the made-up game and then maybe someone sees it and goes "whoa i'd love to buy the rights to that awesome game" and I'd earn cash.
« Last Edit: April 19, 2009, 03:29:45 pm by Aspgren »
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Apegrape

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Re: Dwarves don't poop
« Reply #36 on: April 19, 2009, 03:42:08 pm »

What the fuck are you doing?
Stop that, it's silly.
« Last Edit: April 19, 2009, 03:44:20 pm by Apegrape »
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Sordid

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Re: Dwarves don't poop
« Reply #37 on: April 19, 2009, 03:51:02 pm »

That is retarded. :P
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geoduck

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Re: Dwarves don't poop
« Reply #38 on: April 19, 2009, 04:02:04 pm »

Seriously though, my major argument against all of this is that currently the game wouldn't be able to handle it in a non-disgusting way that doesn't resemble bad toilet humor. Dwarves already don't mind being caked in vomit, and throwing it in adventure mode is already silly (and lethal). We don't need the same issues compounded by a few orders of magnitude, especially not with something like human waste.

One thing that might help would be to make it some color beside brown; maybe even rainbow colored..
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salttotart

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Re: Dwarves don't poop
« Reply #39 on: April 19, 2009, 04:06:10 pm »

Seriously though, my major argument against all of this is that currently the game wouldn't be able to handle it in a non-disgusting way that doesn't resemble bad toilet humor. Dwarves already don't mind being caked in vomit, and throwing it in adventure mode is already silly (and lethal). We don't need the same issues compounded by a few orders of magnitude, especially not with something like human waste.

One thing that might help would be to make it some color beside brown; maybe even rainbow colored..

For once I'm grateful to get back on topic.  Even if that topic is poop.
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If this all doesn't fix it, your dwarfs are lazy. Apply magma.
"And thereafter, all dwarven children were taught to mind their stools, lest the toilet-fiends snatch their souls from their bottoms"
Try rubbing a cat on it, that seems to help.

ProfessorA

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Re: Dwarves don't poop
« Reply #40 on: April 19, 2009, 04:11:40 pm »

The way I always figured it dwarves do poop but the topic is considered so shameful and taboo that not even you, god of dwarven construction and designation, are fit to see it.  They wait until you're not looking and sneak off to the refuse stockpile and do their thing in some goblin skull that happens to be lying around.
Or maybe dwarven metabolism produces no waste.
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Kidiri

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Re: Dwarves don't poop
« Reply #41 on: April 19, 2009, 04:24:11 pm »

Wouldn't actually be that bad if it was spawned as a 1/7 liquid

A 1/7 liquid? Seriously, what do you feed your Dwarves? Syrup and wine?

They wait until you're not looking and sneak off to the refuse stockpile and do their thing in some goblin skull that happens to be lying around.

Oh, dear lord, how I feel sorry for the craftsdwarf who has to make it a totem...
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sonerohi

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Re: Dwarves don't poop
« Reply #42 on: April 19, 2009, 05:31:05 pm »

Can you imagine giving your nobles a toilet above the other nobles bed? Every time the baron goes to sleep, the hammerer goes and poops on his head! Or, if you used an airlock system for your sewage management. It goes into a small reservoir and builds up, maturing. You could have those poo furnaces above the aging stock of poo. Then, when it gets old enough to be farming nutrients, you cut off the old stock from the resorvoir, and flood it into the farms once all dwarves are clear. Then, you shut off farm access, and refill the furnace stock so it will age. And, once the game gets to the point where sufficient liquid pressure would break a floodgate, you'd have instances where everyone would be like "noooo Urist, don't poop it!: and he would anyways, and it'd be just enough to break the floodgates and drown all the farmers in excrement.
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Itnetlolor

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Re: Dwarves don't poop
« Reply #43 on: April 19, 2009, 11:17:20 pm »

Reading this topic made my gut hurt (GET IT! :p).

Anyway, I figure the raw of building a toilet/latrine would probably require a bucket, a throne and/or maybe a screw pump. That way, you have the seat, and a way to manually dispose of the waste.

Sound good?

And for glassmaking or masonry, chamberpots can be made and used.

zwei

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Re: Dwarves don't poop
« Reply #44 on: April 20, 2009, 08:56:37 am »

Reading this topic made my gut hurt (GET IT! :p).

Anyway, I figure the raw of building a toilet/latrine would probably require a bucket, a throne and/or maybe a screw pump. That way, you have the seat, and a way to manually dispose of the waste.

Sound good?

And for glassmaking or masonry, chamberpots can be made and used.

Or just construct horizontal b-G Grate over empty space or water.
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